Young Man: Sir, may I know the time, please?
Old Man: Certainly not.
Young Man: Sir, but why? What are you going to loose,if you tell me the time?
Old Man: Yes, I may loose something if I...
THE DOCTOR because he says, "Take off your clothes."
THE DENTIST because he says, "Open wide."
THE HAIRDRESSER because he says, "Do you want it teased or blown?"
THE MILKMAN because he says...
Three Insurance salesmen were having drinks and boasting about each companies' service.
The first one said, "When one of our insured died suddenly on Monday, we got the news that evening and...
Kuna mjamzito mmoja alinunua embe alivyokuwa wametoka kutembea na best yake alivofika home akaliweka kwny fridge kisha akalala mume wake akarudi toka ofcn akala embe la mkewe kisha akaondoka mdada...
As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday, and employees will receive their cards in two weeks."...
Leo nimeikumbuka hii nimecheka sana.
Wakati tuko "O-Levo" enzi zile katika shule moja ya sekondari iliyopo kanda ya ziwa, kituko cha aina yake kilitukia siku moja mida ya saa tano baada ya...
SALES GIRL:sorry sir u cant smoke here!
MAN:but i bought this cigarette from your shop!
SALES GIRL:we also sell condoms,but it doesnt mean you start fu***ng us!
JOKE.
Mtoto mmoja mwenye umri wa miaka 9 alikuwa anahitaji sana shilingi 100,000 (laki moja). Akamuuliza mama yake ni jinsi gani anaweza kupata pesa hizo. Mama yake akamwambia "muombe Mungu...
Kuna jamaa wawili,walikwenda kuwinda,mmoja alikuwa mtaalamu wa kulenga mwingine wa kuchuna,mtaalam wa kuchuna alibaki garini na mwenzake akashuka kuwinda,anakatiza kichakani mara simba...
Nimechunguza na kugundua kuna baadhi ya members hapa JF wanatumiwa na mafisadi kuwasafisha. Kwani wao always ni kutetea upuuzi tu....mfano ni 1-zomba 2-mwiba......mwenye kujua wengine wataje...
Wadau mnakumbuka kupigana siku ya kufunga shule enzi za mwalimu, ukigombana na mwenzio unamsubiri siku ya kufunga shule. Tukumbusha ulishawah kubondana siku kama hiyo.
With MONEY you can buy HOUSE but not HOME
With MONEY you can buy CLOCK but not TIME
With MONEY you can buy BED but not SLEEP
With MONEY you can BUY BOOK but not KNOWLEDGE
With MONEY you can buy...
Kuna mume na mke. Walienda shambani na kuukuta uyoga mzuri ila hawakuwa na uhakika km uyoga ule haukuwa na sumu. Walikubaliana kumpa mbwa ilikujiridhisha. Walipofika nyumbani walipika na kisha...
kama kawa wambea zetu kukaa karibu na mlango ili wanaoingia na kutoka tuwaone_mpango mzima ulianza wakat wa maakul ambapo mc aliwataarifu wajumbe kuwa sasa mtumish wa Mungu alikuwa anaingia...
mama mmoja aliingia kwenye basi akiwa amebeba mtoto
mara dereva akamwambia....... huyo ni mtoto mbaya sijapata kuona...
mama hakumjibu akaingia mpaka kwenye kiti nyuma ya basi
akiwa na hasira...
marafiki wawili walitoka kwenda kuwinda
wakiwa msituni bahati mbaya rafiki mmoja alipata ajali akawa hajitambui
kwa woga mmkubwa rafiki yake alichukua simu yake na kupiga 112 (emergency call)...
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