A first-grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked the boy, "What is your problem?"
The boy answers, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the...
DOKTA;-Unaumwa nini shida yako?
MGONJWA;-Nikikosa Pombe na fegi sigara silali nitumie dawa gani
DOKTA:-Nakuandikia dawa nenda Bar ilio karibu na nyumbani kwako utanunua hizo dawa :puke:
Ningependa kufahamu kuhusu huyu zomba je ni zombie(msukule) au? Maana mawazo anayochangia sijui yanatoka sayari gani kiasi kwamba napata wasiwasi kama huyu kiumbe anaishi duniani ama Tanzania...
Mwalimu mkuu wa shule ya msingi Mtendeni alipiga picha ya pamoja na wanafunzi wote wa shule yake, akasafisha kopi kibao na kuhamasisha watoto wote wanunue. Akapiga debe akisema:-
"Hebu fikiria...
A friend of mine forwarded this to me. It might make you laugh as well
There were two nuns...
One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM),
and the other one was known as Sister Logical...
Magufuli, kama kicha cha habari kinavyosema, nimependa hii kitu na nna-uhakika Japan mtumba wa hii kitu hautofika hata Dollar elfu mbili, sasa baba yale matuta uliosema yaondolewe, naona jamaa...
Dada mmoja anamwambia mumewe"Juma ananitongoza ninamkatalia lakini hasikii"(mume)"mkatalie tu"(mke)"nimemkatalia lakini kasema atanidondoshea laki tano,nikiokota tu atakuwa kamaliza"(mume)"aa kama...
dereva mmoja mbongo wa magari ya masafa mara baada ya kufika namanga mpakani na nchi jirani ya kenya, alipata hamu ya kujiliwaza na mamsap wa kikamba
wakati wakiwa kwenye kisiwa cha malavidavi...
MMh Jamani Hebu iteni Mjumbe wa nyumba kumi kumi... huu ugomvi hauhitaji polisi..... Ila huyu Bibie naye mmh .. we mpaka tembo wa porini kaangusha nae MOJA MOJA... kweli hapa mwaga ugali ninywe...
Unusual "safety certificate" from the 1940s
Mark Frauenfelder at 10:32 PM Thursday, Jan 13, 2011
Christine of Feetlips writes: "This sits on top of my vanity. I found it at a flea...
Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool. Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool...
Polisi walikuwa wanaranda kutafuta baa ambazo hazijafungwa saa sita usiku. Mara wakaiona baa moja ina wateja. Walipoingia pale, walevi karibu wote wakakimbia isipokuwa mmoja aliyelewa sana...
Katikati ya baa, mwana mama mmoja mlevi akapaza sauti.
"Hivi, kuna mwanamume gani hapa anayeweza kunifanya nijisikie mwanamke kikweli kweli?"
Mlevi mmoja (dume) akavua shati na kumtupia.
"Haya...
"Our beer, Which art in barrels,
Hallowed be thy drink.
Thy will be drunk, I will be drunk,
at home as it is in public.
Forgive us this day our daily spillage
As we forgive those who spillest...
Bora siku hizi kuna haya mambo ya Ujasiriamali, jamani kuomba kazi kwa lugha isiyo yako kazi kweli , hebu soma hii cv ya huyu jamaa anayeomba kazi ya ulinzi alivyojitutumua kwenye ung'eng'e.
The phone rings at FBI headquarters.
"Hello?"
"Hello, is this the FBI?"
"Yes. What do you want?"
"I'm calling to report my neighbor Adrian Thibodeaux! He is
hiding marijuana inside his firewood."...
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