Raha ya Ubazazi/Cheating!... (?)

Mimi nakubaliana nawe kwamba vyo vyote utakavyo sema kwenda nje ni udhaifu na dhambi.Lakini ukifanya utafiti ktk jamii/mitaani utatoka na sababu hizo zote ambazo wote tumechangia.

Sasa swala la uzito wa sababu au wepesi ndio unao tupeleka kwenye jambo tu kuwa jamii yetu imeoza.

malila said:

Sasa swala la uzito wa sababu au wepesi ndio unao tupeleka kwenye jambo tu kuwa jamii yetu imeoza.

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Uozo mkubwa zaidi ni pale inapojulikan akabisa kuwa wasiojihusisha na hayo mambo lakini hawana nguvu ya kutetea chaguo lao.
Walio na nguvu ni wale wenye kutetea na kushabikia huo ubazazi. Hao ndio wanaoua jamii.
Kwanini jambo baya lisipigwe vita? linashabikiwa? tena kwa sauti kubwa na mapambo yote?

Tukubali tu dhaifu, ila tusikubali kuwa udhaifu wetu ndio nguzo yetu. Tupiganie tujitahidi kujibadili.
Ukimuoan mwenzio anataka kuanza haya, bora umuonye tu hata kama wewe unafanya, usimuingize na yeye humo. ni sawa na kusambaziana ukimwi, wote tufe.

haika said:

Uozo mkubwa zaidi ni pale inapojulikan akabisa kuwa wasiojihusisha na hayo mambo lakini hawana nguvu ya kutetea chaguo lao.
Walio na nguvu ni wale wenye kutetea na kushabikia huo ubazazi. Hao ndio wanaoua jamii.
Kwanini jambo baya lisipigwe vita? linashabikiwa? tena kwa sauti kubwa na mapambo yote?

Tukubali tu dhaifu, ila tusikubali kuwa udhaifu wetu ndio nguzo yetu. Tupiganie tujitahidi kujibadili.
Ukimuoan mwenzio anataka kuanza haya, bora umuonye tu hata kama wewe unafanya, usimuingize na yeye humo. ni sawa na kusambaziana ukimwi, wote tufe.

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well,if this is what i think it is,

then WHAT A NICE ADVICE !

But i am having problem in understanding this part......................;

ni sawa na kusambaziana ukimwi, wote
tufe.[/QUOTE]

Embu nieleweshe hapa mwanakwetu Ni bora au its an irony !?

.....Mimi simo......

Sanda Matuta,

Nilimaanisha kuwa, huu msemo kuwa kila mtu lazima siku moja acheat, au ni fashion, au, mafiga matatu, au haiwezekani kukaa bila mpenzi, ni misemo ya walio/tulioshatumbukia humo, tunajifariji kwa sauti kubwa kabisa.

Majukwaani tunapotangaza kondomu, baadhi ya madhehebu yanayohubiri kondom na abortion etc.

Si kweli kama ni jambo ZURU AU La kawaida kuwa na mpenzi kabla ya kujicomit naye. Lets agree to leave it at that. (it is a bad deed.) Tunaofanya tunafanya makosa basi. Tumeshindwa kujicontrol, hakuna haja ya kuwatumbukiza na kuwashawishi wengine nao wafanye kama sisi, kwa kuwaambia kwamba there is no other way.

Ni kuwatumbukiza humu tulimo ambako ni kwenye uharibifu mkubwa.

Tuwaache walobahatika wasiofanya haya mambo wawe proud wao, kwani they are the ones doing it the better way AND THERE ARE A LOT OF THEM.

Kuna kamsemo wanatumia wanawake kuwa "mafiga matatu".....yaani anakuwa na mabwana watatu...dunia ya sasa imechafuka sana....hasa kundi baya ni WAZEE hawa wamechanganyikiwa sana....sio akina BABA au akina MAMA...

Sasa hivi unakuta jimama 50+ linataka kakijana ka miaka 20 huwa anatafuta ladha? nasikia kuwa mwanamke akifkisha umri huo hahisi hamu!

hivi haiwezekani kwamba ubazazi unaendelezwa na jamii ambapo
mwanajamii anaogopa kusema ukweli kisa ataitwa muongo/mmbeya/
mfitini ama mvunja nyumba za watu.

mara ngapi mtaani karibu mtaa mzima unajua kwamba fulani
ambaye ni mume/mke wa mtu anashirikiana kula tundi na jamaa
hapo mtaani lakini ni mwenye mali tu asiye na taarifa?

ni wangapi wameishaenda sehemu za starehe na kutambulishwa
kwa "shemeji" yao ambaye ni mume/mke wa mtu na wao wasiondoke
bali wanaendelea kupiga kinywaji huku wakimsifia mchukua mume/mke
wa mtu kwamba ni mkali?

kafara said:

hivi haiwezekani kwamba ubazazi unaendelezwa na jamii ambapo
mwanajamii anaogopa kusema ukweli kisa ataitwa muongo/mmbeya/
mfitini ama mvunja nyumba za watu.

mara ngapi mtaani karibu mtaa mzima unajua kwamba fulani
ambaye ni mume/mke wa mtu anashirikiana kula tundi na jamaa
hapo mtaani lakini ni mwenye mali tu asiye na taarifa?

ni wangapi wameishaenda sehemu za starehe na kutambulishwa
kwa "shemeji" yao ambaye ni mume/mke wa mtu na wao wasiondoke
bali wanaendelea kupiga kinywaji huku wakimsifia mchukua mume/mke
wa mtu kwamba ni mkali?

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You are right man,mimi kweli mwanamke wa mtu namuogopa ile mbaya na huwa sipendi mazoea na wanawake watu,wengi wao wananiona mpole sana na sio muongeaji.
lakini inanisaidia kuwa muaminifu katika jamii na kwa mwenzi wangu.....sasa mim nashangaa iweje jimtu lizima linachma mafuta gari kumzengea mke wa mtu huwa haingii akilini....
hii hi tabia mbaya wandugu

Kucheat katika ndoa, au kumtaka mwenye ndoa yake ni tabia ya ajabu ambayo kama mlivyosema hapo juu haiingii akilini inakuwaje inapokelewa na jamii.

Unakuta msichana hajali kabisa kama ni mume wa mtu anasaidiana na rafiki zake kumpata, au kijana mvulana anakamia kabisa kumpata mke wa mtu, na watu wanajua kabisa, wanasema huyo baba yuko bize mwache asaidiwe.
I hate it.

Lakini pia wale singles hawatakiwi kuchanganyana bila mpangilio, sio kwa kuwa huna commitment ndio uruke kila mahali.

Hii tabia in the long run inapunguza self confidence kwa wasichana na wavulana na inasababisha kujichukia baadae, inasababisha kupoteza ladha na appreciation ya commitment.

Short-time benefits zinaleta longtime regrets.

mchongoma said:

...naimaomari, mwenzako ni kweli 'kaujuzi kanan'tosha mwenyewe!'... 😀

hivi inawezekana kumpata mke/mume aliyekamilika kila kitu, au kipenda roho tu? maana ninayasikia sana siku hizi hayo mambo ya 'mafiga matatu!'

...

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unaweza ukampata ... kwanza muoe mtu ambaye atakuwa mke na rafiki yani you can talk at all levels ... open up all doors of communication and be the best of friends .. msiwe na mipaka .. mnataniana bila mmoja kukasirika in the event mtafundisha incase mmoja level inakuwa chini ... try this i promise it will work ..

some homes baba anakuwa baba hamna kutaniana ... unaona mke anabadilika anashindwa hata kuongea ... unamuoa mume/mke ambaye hata kumwambia kitu unaogopa .. you try to be someone else instead of yourself hapana ... akitoka tu unapumua akirudi unakosa raha ... kwanza before even starting an affair inabidi muwe friends

halafu mambo ya mafiga matatu ... si wote i guess yalizuka kwa wazaramo and not all ... tunafundishwa hivi ... ni uamuzi wa mtu

haika said:

Sanda matuta,
nilimaanisha kuwa, huu msemo kuwa kila mtu lazima siku moja acheat, au ni fashion, au, mafiga matatu, au haiwezekani kukaa bila mpenzi, ni misemo ya walio/tulioshatumbukia humo, tunajifariji kwa sauti kubwa kabisa.
Majukwaani tunapotangaza kondomu, baadhi ya madhehebu yanayohubiri kondom na abortion etc.
si kweli kama ni jambo ZURU AU La kawaida kuwa na mpenzi kabla ya kujicomit naye.
Lets agree to leave it at that. (it is a bad deed.)
tunaofanya tunafanya makosa basi. Tumeshindwa kujicontrol, hakuna haja ya kuwatumbukiza na kuwashawishi wengine nao wafanye kama sisi, kwa kuwaambia kwamba there is no other way.
ni kuwatumbukiza humu tulimo ambako ni kwenye uharibifu mkubwa.
Tuwaache walobahatika wasiofanya haya mambo wawe proud wao, kwani they are the ones doing it the better way.
AND THERE ARE A LOT OF THEM.

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Mkuu,

Nakupongeza na Wallahi.... ningalikua na funguo za peponi ningalikufungulia muda huu huu,na kama ungalitaka kupoteza muda bado katika dunia hii ya Uongo,Ufisadi,Ubazaz basi ngalikuruhusu walau uuwache wazi huo malango wa peponi mpaka hapo utakapo ona convience kwako.

Unajua sisi binadamu hasa watanzania tuna na kasumba ya kuto taka kukubari ukweli hata kama ni kwa pumzi ya mwisho.
wale wanao weza kuwa waaminifu kwenye ndoa zao ambao kwa maneno yako umesema WAPO wengi basi tuwapongeze na tusifiche kwa kuwaoambia kwamba eti WENGI wanafanya tu kwasababu wewe unafanya.
Nilipokua shule miaka ile Head master wangu alinifundisha kitu kina itwa MOB sychology,hii kitu inasumbua watoto hata watu wazima.In growing up wote tunajua kuna michezo mingine unashindwa kuicheza sasa when you become an Adult you kind find time for those mischieves.
(Tatizo,kama watoto walivyo they hate playing games alone thus, they find other play mates)
Hatuchezi pekee yetu unawaambia wengine ambao ndio wale waaminifu eti watu wote kwenye ndoa wan cheat..............aaah that is Wrong........

Embu Dada yangu (kama hii Haika ni ya kike) embu... baeleze.... bajue.... kwamba hiyo si tabia nzuri

Raha ya kucheat usishikwe tuu!!!

mchongoma said:

...Inasikitisha, kwanini couples/spouses inawawia vigumu kujadiliana kuhusu sexual satisfaction kwenye relationship yao, mpaka inapelekea huo ububu mtu anaamua 'kwenda nje'?

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...mchongoma, mimi nafikiri utamaduni tulionao katika jamii ni sababu mojawapo ya kujengeka kwa hali kama hii.

...kawaida, kutokana na hali ya kujiheshimu heshimu (jambo ambalo si baya) kunakuwepo na tafsiri mbaya ya kujiheshimu iwapo mwanamke (haswa, nasisitiza) anakuwa mstari wa mbele na kuwa mtu wa kuongelea jinsi ya kufaana katika mapenzi. Ma 'alpha male' wa kike katika jamii zetu mara nyingi wanaonekana kama 'hawajiheshimu vile' wakionesha kujua sana.

...ni kutokana na hali kama hii basi ya kuogopa kujivunjia heshima, wanawake wanajikuta wakiburuzwa katika mapenzi hata kama pale mpenzi wao anakuwa hawaridhishi.

....tatizo linakuja pale tunapojikuta wote tumeingia katika jamii ya utandawazi. kila mmoja wetu anatambua na kuzijua haki zake. si hivyo tu, bali kila mmoja anakuwa ana information tosha kuhusiana na mambo yanaoyoendelea. Haya yote pamoja na urahisi wa mawasiliano katika karne yetu hii ya ishirini na moja na kujengeka kwa maisha ya 24 -7, basi ubazazi unakuwa unaenea na kutendeka kirahisi kuliko ilivyokuwa awali.

...mfano, mpenzi wako kama haujadiliani naye, siku hizi ni rahisi kuwasiliana na mashoga zake, na rafiki zake wa kiume akiwa huko huko kazini.... kuna myspace, facebook, vimobitel n.k. kukutana na mtu anayemtamani au aliyempenda ni jambo rahisi kuliko hapo zamani. Sasa ukiacha hilo ukaja kwenye mambo ya usafiri, hapo ndipo utaona kuwa, allurement zozote zile zinatekelezeka bila mapingamizi maana obstructions zilizokuwepo zamani zilipunguza majaribu haya.

SteveD.

mh kucheat ni kudhihirisha kuwa you dont care for your spouse's feelinga anymore hii inatokea kama either amekuudhi/anakutake for granted so unamchoka ndipo unaamua ku-look for new exceitment au ni hulka yako tu kutaka kuonja vya nje kwa kuwa umeshakinai upewacho na mwandani wako.

Kwa wanawake wanaokubali kuwa nje ya ndoa eti kwa cile mume yuko mbali shame upon the. Unaishuisha heshima ya utu wako na hata kama amecheat mumeo hupaswi kulipiza kwa kucheat pia nawadharau watu wa namna hii. why did you enter into marriage if you are not satisfied with the one you choose?

Shame upon you cheaters!!

hi bonnie1974! where are you from,could we get to know each other a bit, was you born in 1974 or it's the year you had your first date,why did you put numbers in your name? do you like mathematics deadly? sorry for any inconvinience i was just trying to be curious, my name is bonnie1989 if 1974 is you birthyear.your reply will determine the position of my msg in your mind.

Revived Interest in Appearance: If your partner suddenly undergoes a makeover of sorts, in which he spends much more time on his appearance, it could mean that he is trying to impress someone new. If he all of the sudden ditches his old khakis and sweats for something more stylish, it might be because he is trying to look his best for a new woman.


Missing in Action: If there are large periods in which your partner is absent and unaccounted for, it could be because there are mischievous motives behind his AWOL behavior. Whether it is a run to the corner store that takes over an hour, or whether he is constantly "working late," a missing husband could mean something sinister.


Mysterious Texts or Phone Calls: If you notice mysterious texts or phone calls on your phone bill, or if your husband tries to hide the phone bill or his cell phone from you, it might mean that there is a new love interest in the rafters. Additionally, if he spends more time on the computer, or tries to hide the screen he was looking at when you walk in the room, this is a good indicator that he might be philandering via the worldwide web.

Of course, the best way to discover what your partner is up to behind your back is to communicate openly and honestly with him. Share your fears regarding his fidelity and try to discuss the matter before you go crazy with worry. Remember, things are not always as they seem!

unajua ukimchunguza sana bata ....

sometimes its not fair kumkagua mwenzio kama vile unatafuta reason ya kutomwamini ... couples go to an extent of reading ones diary, dishing into ones handbags, kuwekeana spies hata checking each others underwears and the like .. to sum it all sikuhizi kuna simu ndo firauni wa kuvunja ndoa hasa .. kwenye simu lazima utapata reason tu breakup ..maana sikuhizi watu wanaitana dear, my love etc ... kama ni mke ama mume ... this is reason enough to stir your suspicions and commotion in the house.

i think this is not fair ... mimi naamini kwamba kama kweli mmoja wenu hamwendei mwenziwe kinyume na anamtupia Mungu hofu yake ... basi Mungu atambainishia tu .. you dont have to struggle ... atabainika kwa watu wote na watakuwa mashahidi wa maovu yake na kukutetea wewe ... maana Mungu atakuwa amekupigania kikamilifu

Kumbe Hata Na Mimi Namdanganya Naima

naimaomari said:

unajua ukimchunguza sana bata ....

sometimes its not fair kumkagua mwenzio kama vile unatafuta reason ya kutomwamini ... couples go to an extent of reading ones diary, dishing into ones handbags, kuwekeana spies hata checking each others underwears and the like .. to sum it all sikuhizi kuna simu ndo firauni wa kuvunja ndoa hasa .. kwenye simu lazima utapata reason tu breakup ..maana sikuhizi watu wanaitana dear, my love etc ... kama ni mke ama mume ... this is reason enough to stir your suspicions and commotion in the house.

i think this is not fair ... mimi naamini kwamba kama kweli mmoja wenu hamwendei mwenziwe kinyume na anamtupia Mungu hofu yake ... basi Mungu atambainishia tu .. you dont have to struggle ... atabainika kwa watu wote na watakuwa mashahidi wa maovu yake na kukutetea wewe ... maana Mungu atakuwa amekupigania kikamilifu

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My kind of girl!!! Thank you Naima!!!!