Single mums and dads come this way

[mjasiria]

Kila la kheri, Mola akukuzie....ila kwa sababu ni dume halitokusumbua sanaa...Mtoto wa kiume huwa na mapenzi na mama yake....Nadhani angekuwa wa kike ingekuwa story nyingine....!

Kim unaongelea watoto wa kiume wa wapi labda?? Kama asipokuwa makini huyu dogo anaweza kuja kumchukia baadaye. Labda kama hii stori iko nusu nusu sana lakini kama baba hajafanya kosa lolote na huyu mdada aje ampe dogo black and white kama ilivyo bila kuongeza chenga lazima itakula kwake.

 

[CYBERTEQ]

ipi hiyo am dying to know lol

siri ya kambi, kwikwikwiii!

 

[mjasiria]

Wewe hapa inaonekana kama ulipitia shida kwenye huu usingle mama.

I wish niseme kitu ila nahisi nitatonesha kidonda ambacho kimeshapona...

Sitaki kukumbuka, sitaki kuwaza sitaki kuishirikisha akili yangu kuyakumbuka na kuyapatia uzito maisha ya single mum.... Naishi kwa Neema ya Mungu, nikiiona leo Alhamdulillah siku ikipita Ameen....

Halafu hapa chini unasema mnafanana na Miss Kim!!! Mwenzio kachagua kuwa single mama na anasema anafurahia hali hiyo iweje mfanane???!!

Miss Kim pole na hongera, najua kuna watu hawatakuelewa ila mimi ninakuelewa make tunafanana kwa 99%.

Nahisi sababu zako na zangu zinaweza kufanana kwa asilimia kubwa....

 

[mjasiria]

polen kwa changamoto za kuwa single parents.Devotha story yako imenipa simanzi.Na imebadirisha kabisa mtazamo wangu kwenu!!


Nafikiri moja ya chanzo cha kuwa s/mums ni kwamba wanaume wanao wapenda wanawake toka mioyoni hawapewi nafasi.Wale playboys ndio wana nafasi kubwa kwenu na ndio waumizaji wakubwa.Na kuwa s/mum sio choice ya mtu sema kuna mazingira yanalazimisha hali hiyo.Pia wenye status siyo wako mstari wa mbele kuwaaminisha watu juu ya maisha ya ndoa kama sio kitu vile!

Ndio maana zamani utaratibu ulikuwa kutokuvua chupi kabla ya ndoa. Sasa hivi kwa kuwa uzinzi ruksa kwa kigezo cha wapenzi basi inabidi wanawake wakumbuke angalau wabadili utaratibu, Hakikisha hushiki mimba kabla ya ndoa. We unamwamini mwanaume umezaliwa naye kwani??!!!

 

[mjasiria]

Mie naona mna kuza mambo tu, labda kilichowaumiza wengi ni kukosana/tofautiana/poteza na wazazi wenza. Vinginevyo mbona kawaida sana kulea watoto?

Anyway...

Me like this comment. Kiukweli no big deal, unalea tu. Wengine tumelea wadogo zetu kama wanetu nini mtoto wa kumzaa mwenyewe 🙂

 

[mjasiria]

Miss Kim, sababu za kutomshirikisha mzazi mwenzio zaweza kuwa na mantiki sana kwako, lakini zisiwe na mantiki yeyote kwa mtoto na babake.

Wewe ni nani hadi uwaamulie muda wa kufahamiana? You are not God, kusema unapanga kila kitu.

Juzi nasoma mambo ya haki za watoto, ni pamoja na kuwafahamu wazazi wake wa asili, hata kama wewe ni mama yake, bado huna haki ya kumfanya mtoto asijuane na baba yake.

Hapa umegonga kwenye mfupa kabisa ndio maana mimi nasema huyu anatafuta kuja kuchukiwa na mwanaye kwenye maisha yake yote yatakayobakia na huyu dogo atakuwa bad boy kuliko baba yake.

Mwenyewe eti anajipa moyo mtoto atamwelewa. Labda ampe fiksi za kufa mtu, vinginevyo ale bata sasa hivi lakini ajiandae kuishi na majuto kwa maisha yake yote pale atakapofunguka kwa dogo.

 

[Mahondaw]

wakati mwingine huu usingo mum/dad unasababishwa na hao masingo mum/dad wenyewe..

true experience.. ya kwangu mwenyewe..

nimezaa na mdada moja.. na mapenzi yalikuwa moto moto wakti tupo wote chuo...
tumemaliza chuo miezi miwili baadae ndo akamzaa huyu mtt wa kiume..
visa vikaanza.. ugomvi hauishi hadi akantakia kuwa hana mpango wa kuja kuolewa.. nikagive up...
leo nataka nioe na mchumba nishampata yy ndo anakuja juu na kunipa masharti yakumpatia nusu mshahara wangu wa kila mwezi ili aniruhusu kuoa vinginevyo atakuja amjaze mtt mambo yatakayomfanya asitake kuniona maishani mwake kama Kilaza anavyomchukia baba ake..
hapa ninakosa gani?

huna kosa if that is the case mwambie mtoto utamchukua wewe kwani hujashindwa mlea

 

[mjasiria]

good newz ni kuwa watoto walio lelewa na single mum wana bahati sana most of them they achieve very well in life (obama & co hata viongozi wengi wa taifa hili walilelewa na single mom)

.......hope u will get something. .........

Pole sana ila unaonekana bado una hasira sana. Mimi interest yangu ni kuongelea hiyo point yako ya mwisho. Ukweli ni kwamba watu wenye mafanikio wapo wengi waliozaliwa na kulelewa na baba na mama, hakuna umaalum wowote wa kulelewa na single mums. Pili acheni kumfanya Obama kuwa mfano wa kulelewa na single mum kwa kuwa sio kweli, Obama hakukulelewa na baba yake wa kumzaa sawa lakini alikuwa na baba wa kufikia.

 

[mjasiria]

Dubwana liliniachisha masomo niko sekondari akaniacha nina mimba ya miezi mi3 bila mawasiliano bila huduma,alivosikia nina mtoto akapiga simu kutoa jina daniel wakati baba yangu RIP nipo hospitali kaota mtu kaja home nakumwambia mwanao kajifungua mtoto wa kiume akasema basi jina lake ni abdulaziz na anatumia hilo na ubini nimempa jina la kakayangu,mwezi wa 4 alikuja anaejifanya ni baba yake akamuulizia mtoto nikamwambia yuko shule akasema ada ya term hii nitakupa mimi siku imefika nampigia hapokei mara aseme yuko mbali mwisho akaniblock nimemchukulia poa kwakuwa sikumuomba wala sikumuita alijileta, yote mema mwanangu yuko form3,nilimuacha mwanangu anasiku6 nikarudi shule sasa hivi nina kazi namsomesha mwanangu na hamjui baba yake . Nashukuru ananipenda sana msg anazonitumia wakati mwingine nasoma nalia anaijua dini kasoma sana qurani haishi kunisisitiza kumtegemea Mungu.Babayake yuko hapo centre police kama mpelelezi,nipo dar tangu august sijamtafuta hata hamu ya kumuona sina.

Hawa watu mnaowaita madubwana wakati mnawavulia chupi huwa hamuwaoni?!! Nyumbani unaambiwa mwanangu soma usidanganyike wewe bado umo tu unaona kuvua chupi raha. Ukipata mimba unaanza kulia lia. Mimi nadhani ifike mahali tukubali consequence ya matendo yetu. Wewe kama ni msichana/mwanamke kumbuka unapovua chupi na kumegwa bila kinga mojawapo ya matokeo ni kubeba mimba na ufikirie utafanya nini likitokea hilo. Wazee wetu wa zamani walipokuwa wanalinda zaidi watoto wa kike kuliko wa kiume hawakuwa wajinga kwa sababu japokuwa makosa ni ya wote inapotokea mimba lakini anayeathirika zaidi ni yule anayebeba mimba. Sasa karibuni mmwage povu.

 

[mjasiria]

Freedom of expression and i believe that you are both entitled to it, so nyie ongeeni tu coz mnatumia sheria zilizotungwa na binadamu kuwahumu wenzenu. You will never understand my position and it is not in my place to make you guys comprehend my situation. Cha msingi ni kwamba the people i call friends & family walinielewa toka mwanzo na walieshimu maamuzi yangu juu ya maisha ya mwanangu. Ukitaka kila mtu aishi kama watu wengine waishivyo wapo watakao ishia njiani. Wapo wanaolelewa na both parents but they have never known the true meaning of parental love. Proudly single parent!

Sasa wewe unaamini kwamba sisi hatutaweza kukuelewa ila unadhani itakuwa rahisi kwa mwanao kukuelewa??!!! Wewe inawezekana ni mtu wa misimamo sana na ndio maana hata hao unaowaita friends wameamua kukaa kimya.

 

[mjasiria]

I am not worried about his future coz if you are a christian the bible says in Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

My boy's future is secure with or without me.

And this God told you to put your son's father at bay??!!!!

 

[mjasiria]

Nilipobold red: Hao friends and family ni watu wako, they have nothing to do na paternity ya mtoto. Woriies zako sio za baba wala mtoto, ni zako, wacha na wao wajitengenezee worries zao.

Nilipobold green, ni kweli kabisa. Lakini hicho hicho unakifanya kwa mwanao na baba mtoto, unataka wao waishi kama wewe ulivyopanga, huwezi jua, labda utawafanya waishie njiani bila hata kujua.

Kulelewa na both parrent in relation to parental love ni A, haki ya mtoto/mzazi kumfahamu mzazi/mtoto ni B, havina uhusiano kabisa. Hata baba atamkataa mtoto, ana haki ya kujua ana mtoto, kadhalika kwa mtoto.

Tabu ya baadhi single parent, hasa akina mama(kama mnavyojiita, though sionagi mantiki ya kujiita hivi) ni kuchanganya emotions za mahusiano na mtoto. Hata kama baba ni jambazi/mwehu/kibaka, as long as ndiye aliyeweka mbegu hiyo, tena ukute si kwa kukubaka, basi ana haki sawa na wewe mama ya kufahamu ana mtoto.

Ila kwa kuwa wanawake tumepewa privilege ya kubeba mimba, basi tunadhani ndio waamuzi wa mwisho kwenye uhuasiano wa baba na mtoto, not right at all.

Ni kweli, i will never understand your position kwa sababu unabaka haki ya mtoto in the name of protection. Protection from what? Ni vitu vingapi unaweza kuviprotect? Kwa nguvu gani uliyonayo? Unaweza mzuia mtu asife/kuugua?

Mfano kesho usikie huyo mzazi mwenzio kafa utajisikiaje (siombei hivyo)? Utasubiri mtoto akue ndio ukamwoneshe kaburi la mzaziwe wakati alikuwa na nafasi ya kukutana naye akiwa hai? Sitaki uweke wazi sababu zako, nakupa tu changamoto ya maamuzi yako kwa sabau sikubaliani nayo kabisaaa.

I couldn't have put it better. Kudos Konie.

 

[mjasiria]

I rest my case, some battles are best fought in silence. And just so you know my decision was never based on emotions, it was a well thought decision which has worked out for the best of everyone. Nikutakie siku njema mpendwa.

If you don't mind can you tell me how you came to that conclusion at the time?

 

[My Sunshine]

And this God told you to put your son's father at bay??!!!!

Mmmmh!! We nawe

 

[mjasiria]

May be, may be not...
Ukisoma btn the lines, utaona baadhi ya waandishi wanaonesha kama ni 'ushujaa usio wa kawaida' kwa kuweza kulea peke yake? Kwa nini? Deep down kuna feelings za kujiona aidha 'weak au abnormal' kwa kulea peke yake. Anyway, mtizamo wangu, na sijawahi mwita mtu single parent wala kuhisi amepungukiwa.

Kwa nini wanaolea wawili hawajilebo kama 'double parents'? Wako okay na walivyo.

Ndo maana hii 'haki za wanawake' sijui 'usawa wa kijinsia', between the line huwa mushkeli (hata wanaodai haki wenyewe deep down wanajiona dhaifu, ila majukwaani wanajikakamua), kama uko happy na ulivyo, kwa nini upige kelele sana ili usikike?

I like this. Calling a spade a spade not a big spoon!

 

[Miss Neddy]

Kuna dada namfahamu, aliacha watoto wake wawili sehemu, mmoja akiws 3yrs na mwingine 1yr hadi watoto wakasahau kama Kuna mama. Hadi wapo 23 kwa 21 ndio amewaona. Na believe me...hawataki hata kusukia kuhusu mama Yao. Haya mambo hapo kwa jinsia zote.

wapo wanawake wa aina hii ila ni wachache sana katika jamii

 

[mjasiria]

hahaha hapo mwisho eti "mama kilaza " u cant be serious

by the way u a right I learned something

one more thing mimi sina uchungu wowote kwakuwa sijawai kujutia kutokuwa na kubwa jinga

Inawezekana hujui tu lakini hiki kitu kinakutafuna ndani ndani. yaani Deep down una majonzi yaliyochanganyika na hasira kali sana. Jitahidi usimfikirie sana, fikiria ni binadamu na aliwakosea sana halafu potezea kiasi kwamba ifike mahali usijisumbue kutumia haya maneno wakati unamzungumzia huyo mtu.

 

[Mwanamalundi]

Yaliyopita si ndwele. Gangeni yajayo. The rest is history. You cannot change it

 

[Miss Neddy]

siri ya kambi, kwikwikwiii!

i guess itakuwa ile uliyoonyesha kwa luckyline

 

[Showme]

kukaa kimya nako ni jibu la mjinga,sikujibu endelea kuhara damu humu.