Am I being unreasonable? ...ushauri please!

[zomba]

Habari zenu wana Jf.

Ninae rafiki, ambaye nilimuahidi kuwa ifikapo mwaka 2014 nitarudi nyumbani ili tuweze kupanga mipango ya maisha and possibly get ................. Unfortunately it does not look like I will be able to fulfil the said promise( I may need an additional year or so).
However, mwenzangu ametoa ultimatum saying its 2014 or nothing! Sasa mimi swali langu ni hili, if you really love someone jamani what is one more year? My family thinks I am the problem. They are of the mind that I'm being difficult and unreasonable! Lakini kweli mwaka kama mtu uko serious na mwenzio how can a mere year be an issue?


Nakaribisha mawazo yenu.

PS
I know some pple are annoyed with the language mixing, but please nisameheni I just cant help myself :A S embarassed:

Wewe ulijuwaje kama utafika hiyo 2014? Ngoja ifike na ufike ndio ujuwe kama umevunja miadi. Yanaweza kukuta mambo ya kukufanya urudi.

 

[AshaDii]

Naamini mawazo mengi sana yametolewa Nemo, but nimeona nitoe vile ambavo nimefikiria kabla sijasoma comment so that I do not distort my original thots.... From my understanding you are a lady, hivo hio ultimatum it means ni kaka katoa... what I can say ni kua.. hata yeye ana watu wanamshauri kama wewe, na from my experience na observation katika jamii mwanaume anapokua ana mwanamke kachumbia ama anatarajia kumuoa yeye ndie ambae anaoenekana ana maamuzi makubwa kana kwamba he is the only one who has sounds decisions. Hili suala hapa wewe mwenyewe angalia jinsi gani wewe kama upo right ama wrong kwa kuangalia michango mbali mbali ya members humu sababu siamini kabisa kama the underlying factor ya kutoa ushauri unategemea tu hio Ultimatum ametoa... IMO Vigezo vingine vya kuangalia ni;

1. Mahusiano yenu yapoje toka upo nae mbali... Je is it constant (the calls, the visits na the love itself).
2. He is of what nature katika maamuzi, je ni mbishi siku zote anataka lile ambalo yeye anaona bora kwake?
3. Time factor ni muhimu mno... If you have been apart for very long; then he is bound to make an ultimatum.
4. Hio mipango the last time who had the last say? Ukute yeye alitaka muwe mmeoana toka mwaka jana but wewe uli refute kuomba upewe mda mpaka huo ambao tena wataka ahirisha... this is bound to make him edgy!
5. Angalia hata mapenzi yake juu yako... sometimes so much love makes mpenzi wako kua sort of selfish... anaona kama vile the more una move mda the more the chances of losing you forever.

 

[zomba]

MMU kazi kudanganyana tu. Kila mmoja na matatizo yake halafu mnajidai, sijui boi frend dijui gal frend, mnaota ndoto za kwa macho.

Mambo ni one night stand. Du mi I do you. mchez0 kwishnei. Tukikutana hata barabarani hakuna kujuana. mtu anetaka kuoa au kuolewa anapanga miaka 2 au 3 au 5 ijayo? Uongo mtupu.

 

[jouneGwalu]

Mapenzi yakishaanza kuingiliwa na taaluma, career, sijui mipangilio ya maisha na mbaya zaidi haya yote yakiwa yanafanyika kwa ubinafsi (kwamba mwenzio sio sehemu ya mipango hiyo) hapo hamna mapenzi.
Kama hamna mapenzi ndoa ya nini sasa?
U being reasonable sawa, ila itakufaa nini sasa?
Malizia tu mipango yako, wakati unasubiria pendo jingine..... Muache tu mshkaji achek plan B

(lol ndio mahusiano yetu ya kisasa? uh??)

 

[Nehondo]

Ending is better than pending

 

[Nemo]

Kwa hiyo, ikitokea mkaoana, bado utaendelea ku-guess kama unampenda simply because you believe that love is subjective? If you want to get that technical, you have better to start by deciding which use of the word "love" you have in mind. Some are objective, some are subjective, some are ambiguous, and some have narrow meaning.

When you love someone because they meet your definition of love, then that is objective. But when you make an effort to show them that you love them, then that becomes subjective. Since you believe love is subjective, then by extending the marriage date for one year, have you shown him how much you love him? Many people have swallowed a lie that says love is subjective. According to God's standards, love is, in deed, very objective.

You need to come alive to the truth - to the objective reality of what true love really is. If that has to happen, your subjective reality would be changed to reflect the truth. You would stop living subjectively under the lie that holds you back and you would then be able to live up to the objective reality that has been true of love all along. Objective reality is real whether we believe it or not. Na ukiangalia michango ya watu wengine hapa, are very objective. Subjective reality is what we perceive reality to be at a personal level, whether it's actually true or not. Ndio imaana umesema una-guess whether or not you love him.

BTW, are you a programmer?

EMT
Yep trained! as in it's my field of studyr,,,,,,,,,,,,though to be honest i havent written any useful code for quite sometime. Ila care to enlighten me where were you going with this line of questioning?

As for the blue portion, that is exactly what i was afraid of. What has one got to do with another ie. request for more time, and lack of love

 

[Nemo]

Mapenzi yakishaanza kuingiliwa na taaluma, career, sijui mipangilio ya maisha na mbaya zaidi haya yote yakiwa yanafanyika kwa ubinafsi (kwamba mwenzio sio sehemu ya mipango hiyo) hapo hamna mapenzi.
Kama hamna mapenzi ndoa ya nini sasa?
U being reasonable sawa, ila itakufaa nini sasa?
Malizia tu mipango yako, wakati unasubiria pendo jingine..... Muache tu mshkaji achek plan B

(lol ndio mahusiano yetu ya kisasa? uh??)

jouneGwalu

Mkuu this is a bit harsh.......................ila duh, I hear you

 

[Nemo]

Naamini mawazo mengi sana yametolewa Nemo, but nimeona nitoe vile ambavo nimefikiria kabla sijasoma comment so that I do not distort my original thots.... From my understanding you are a lady, hivo hio ultimatum it means ni kaka katoa... what I can say ni kua.. hata yeye ana watu wanamshauri kama wewe, na from my experience na observation katika jamii mwanaume anapokua ana mwanamke kachumbia ama anatarajia kumuoa yeye ndie ambae anaoenekana ana maamuzi makubwa kana kwamba he is the only one who has sounds decisions. Hili suala hapa wewe mwenyewe angalia jinsi gani wewe kama upo right ama wrong kwa kuangalia michango mbali mbali ya members humu sababu siamini kabisa kama the underlying factor ya kutoa ushauri unategemea tu hio Ultimatum ametoa... IMO Vigezo vingine vya kuangalia ni;

1. Mahusiano yenu yapoje toka upo nae mbali... Je is it constant (the calls, the visits na the love itself).
2. He is of what nature katika maamuzi, je ni mbishi siku zote anataka lile ambalo yeye anaona bora kwake?
3. Time factor ni muhimu mno... If you have been apart for very long; then he is bound to make an ultimatum.
4. Hio mipango the last time who had the last say? Ukute yeye alitaka muwe mmeoana toka mwaka jana but wewe uli refute kuomba upewe mda mpaka huo ambao tena wataka ahirisha... this is bound to make him edgy!
5. Angalia hata mapenzi yake juu yako... sometimes so much love makes mpenzi wako kua sort of selfish... anaona kama vile the more una move mda the more the chances of losing you forever.

AshaDii
Thank you dear, nitafanyia kazi shauri zenu zote nilizo zipoke leo. I guess to me a year sounded like nothing, but again I am the one who chose 2014, so ,,,,,,,,

 

[EMT]

EMT
Yep trained! as in it's my field of studyr,,,,,,,,,,,,though to be honest i havent written any useful code for quite sometime. Ila care to enlighten me where were you going with this line of questioning?

As for the blue portion, that is exactly what i was afraid of. What has one got to do with another ie. request for more time, and lack of love

I see. I was just examining your "subjective" argument. Programmers are programmed to be subjective. But I will go back to my original question. Do you truly love the guy? Do you feel that he is a real debugger for you? That your life would be an uncompiled programme without him, which will never produces an executable code and hence becomes useless? Do you consider him as not only handsome by appearance but all his ActiveX controls are attractive to you as well?

When you saw him last time, did you feel like all your programme modules were running smoothly and giving expected results? Are you sure that by giving you the ultimatum nobody else has already logged and/or intending to log into his database so that your connect script of postponing the marriage for another year will crash beyond recovery?

$hello = file_get_contents('hello.txt'); echo $hello;

 

[jouneGwalu]

jouneGwalu

Mkuu this is a bit harsh.......................ila duh, I hear you

Pole,
hata mi nimejiona, its just i have been through na case kama hii.
Nilikuwaga na mtu mwenye kujifanya anaakili nyingi, mipangilio or sijui takataka gani yaani yupo very complicated na mipango yake ya maisha....
Since then the lesson learned.
Endelea na mipangilio yako tu NEMO

 

[obsesd]

JS
Duh,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,yaani that is exactly what my sister said....as for your other question, I guess I do love him but regardless love shouldnt be the reason to make one forego their life long dreams. Should it?

mama dream gan izo haziwez kuwa fulfilled ukiwa ndoani??
come on bana unless useme mengine jaman, hata 2014 bado nw u need 1 more year mmh....!
tatizo lako umeichukulia io altimatum kama manyanyaso ivyo umeona howcome, all in all nina wasiwasi na huo upendo wako kwake.

 

[cartura]

Mapenzi yakishaanza kuingiliwa na taaluma, career, sijui mipangilio ya maisha na mbaya zaidi haya yote yakiwa yanafanyika kwa ubinafsi (kwamba mwenzio sio sehemu ya mipango hiyo) hapo hamna mapenzi.
Kama hamna mapenzi ndoa ya nini sasa?
U being reasonable sawa, ila itakufaa nini sasa?
Malizia tu mipango yako, wakati unasubiria pendo jingine..... Muache tu mshkaji achek plan B

(lol ndio mahusiano yetu ya kisasa? uh??)

i can see plenty of single moms coming and 'married life' going to the dogs.....

 

[Ave Ave Maria]

Pole,
hata mi nimejiona, its just i have been through na case kama hii.
Nilikuwaga na mtu mwenye kujifanya anaakili nyingi, mipangilio or sijui takataka gani yaani yupo very complicated na mipango yake ya maisha....
Since then the lesson learned.
Endelea na mipangilio yako tu NEMO

Lakini mbona nyie huwa mnasubiriwa na plans zenu, ikifika kwa wenzenu ndo mwaona mizinguo sio?? Sometimes na nyie muwe mnaelewa bana....lol!!!

 

[The Finest]

Lakini mbona nyie huwa mnasubiriwa na plans zenu, ikifika kwa wenzenu ndo mwaona mizinguo sio?? Sometimes na nyie muwe mnaelewa bana....lol!!!

Mbona sisi ni waelewa na tunasubiria bwana..lol...hii ya Nemo imekaa kushoto kidogo aisee..she's being too stubborn...lol

 

[Donpela]

Mwali
I guess I could do that, but cost wise its not the best option. Ila n what's bothering me most is mwanaume gani anayetoa ultimatum kwaajili ya mwaka tu............................. Duh jamani si ndio kunyanyasika kwenyewe huku!!!

love offered to a partner comes in different faces. . !Mchumba angu jana alitingwa kufika kwangu 4the nyt alafu i had told her nimemuandalia something special 4the 2of us!Kuukaribisha valntines day in our way! . Nimempa ultimatum ya sa.4 asubuh awe apa. .Tic toc. .Otherwise am owt 2celebrate with my other beloveds. . Friends,family. .Etc
so iyo yako ya mwaka 2.. .Doh. . Parefu mbna. Lol

 

[BADILI TABIA]

BADILI TABIA

Kwanza ahsante kwa ushauri. Pili si kwamba ni mbinafsi, ila ni kuwa mipango haijaenda kama nilivyo dhania. I can't just up and leave, maana hata kama ni yeye namkimbilia, my biggest worry is, if I am to leave na mipango nusu nusu at some point this will come and haunt us in the near future. Vitu visipoenda vizuri I can easily see myself being end up resentful of the fact that I had to leave my life unprepared!

huu ndo kwanza mwaka 2012, kwa nini hiyo mipango usijitahidi kuikamilisha upesi kwa umakini kadri uwezavyo, then ikifika 2014 uangalie priority zako zikoje?
it seems ni kuwa ushaamua kuwa asubiri zaidi.
na hiyo mipango huwezi ahirisha hata for 1 year kwa ajili ya mwenzio?

kusubiri 4 years!!! ni muda mrefu, na unapotaka aendelee kusubiri zaidi unataka asubiri kwa muda gani? what if hata ukiongeza muda "mipango" isikamilike? utampiga kalenda tena?

sometimes in love inabidi umfikirie mwenzio, put yourself in his/her shoes.......

 

[Donpela]

Of course I felt the need to explain because you obviously took it the wrong way.

But if explaining what I meant is perceived by you as being defensive, so be it. Take it the way you want.

bwa nchuchu. . .Well puT. . .mana anakuchokoza uyu. . Anakupa sura ya kukushangaa wakat hakuna cha kushangaliwa..Lol

 

[Maundumula]

Long distance..long distance

R u keeping the promise?

 

[OLESAIDIMU]

1. Binafsi nawashangaa sana hawa watu wanaodai eti sitaolewa/sitaoa hadi nijenge nyumba nzuri, niwe na biashara nzuri, niwe na usafiri, na niwe na kazi nzuri.....! Kanakwamba wanajua fika ni lini watapata vitu hivyo....! Matokeo yake wanajisahau kuwa huenda hata wasipate vitu hivyo maishani mwao.....! Please Nemo, be careful of this, usijedanganyika na ulimwengu huu ukabaki kusubiria vitu usivyo na uhakika kwamba vitakuja.....!
2. Ingekuwa mimi ndio huyo wa kupigiwa tarehe kiasi hicho, hakika sitaki subira yangu uniponze......! Natamani kumjua huyo mtu wako nimuamshe, maana anaonekana kulala usingizi mzito mno.....!

Ni wazo langu tu.....!

Well said
1. Wewe ni tatizo khaswaa tena selfish in a way yaani umekaa kukimbia kimbia tu....eti umalize mambo yako kabla ya kuingia umoja wa ndoa....as a man we ni mwanamke usiejiamini na wala hufai kusubiriwa kabisaaaaa
2. Alokwambia personal life huishia kwenye ndoa ni nani??? Kama ni masomo yataendelea...bachelor..masters...post grad..PhD....n so on unless wewe ni pro...as huko mbele no madarasa wewe yu take ndoa kama kikwazo kwa personal devpt.......ts shame way of thinking....hivi say anakuoa ukiwa na hair do project then after ndoa cant yu do outfit line as addition ??
3. Huko ulaya cjui america kunawapotosha wengi sana wa aina yako wake kwa waume as mnadhani huko ndo mambo yoooote life has changed a lot huku mtu kukaa ulaya c big deal tena....na kwa kukaa kwako huko while unaplan ya kuishi bongo then the early the better kama mjaji wahi ujipange as utahitaji c chini ya miaka miwili kukaa relini na kwenda sawa na bongolyfe style tena ukiwa mke wa mtu (if yu are gon make it)
4. Chance + Prepared mind= Success
Huo mwaka mmoja unataka nini kati ya chance na mind preparedness?

NB; M sorry kama lugha imekuwa kali !!!!!! Nimekutana na chuma cha moto so I had to hit it....n my instructor ddnt tell wat we were forging.....he just told me to hit it while it was hot

 

[Nyani Ngabu]

bwa nchuchu. . .Well puT. . .mana anakuchokoza uyu. . Anakupa sura ya kukushangaa wakat hakuna cha kushangaliwa..Lol

Unajua nini? One can get offended only if they choose to be offended. Mimi ninaweza kukuambia au kukusalimia tu kwa kusema 'mambo vaikojoel' na wewe ukiamua ukaichukulia hiyo salamu yangu kama tusi.

So, it is what it is. Mtu unamuelewesha kuwa haikuwa hivyo alivyoichukulia lakini yeye anaendelea kung'ang'ania na anachokiamini. Unamuacha tu aendelee kudhani anavyodhani.