Am I being unreasonable? ...ushauri please!

[Freema Agyeman]

FA
Nuh Im done with shool, .............there is a possibility that I may never attain hizo achievement as noted above but that doesnt mean nisijaribu kuzipigania. ...............Besidesif I was to think that way, then in the same token what if our union never works na mimi nimesha give up my life dreams??

mpiganaji wa kweli hachagui pa kupigania, na kama wewe ni mpiganaji kihivyo basi home ungefanikiwa kirahisi zaidi kuliko huko ugenini. Namthamini yule ang'ang'aniae kutafuta maisha nyumbani, kuacha career na kukimbilia penzi ughaibuni.

 

[Nemo]

dah, nimefurahi sana kuona kwamba kuna akina dada wanaojitambua... wenye dreams, wanaojua kwamba maisha is all about paying bills, wanaojua kwamba kila kitu (including love) kinapaswa kuthaminishwa na fedha, wanaotambua kwamba mtu akitoa msimamo tofauti ni unyanyasaji etc.... yeah, huku ndio kujitambua kunakohitajika kwa mwanamke wa karne hii....

Thank you, thank you, thank you............................can is ay thank you again for this useful post!??😛oa

 

[Freema Agyeman]

Thank you, thank you, thank you............................can is ay thank you again for this useful post!??😛oa

yeah, you wish

 

[JS]

JS
Billionaire my dear?? I can only wish. Halafu its not kuwa ni-kiembark into the life journey with him my dreams will be shattered, hapana ni kuwa to see my life plans to completion I need my job a year longer than I had anticipated. Imean i can come home and we can pull our resources together to get them accomplished but what good will that do to my sense of accomplishment. Mind you, the key aspect in all of this is "me" and "myself worth"..........ie as in yeah i Nemo did this, and not we did it!


PS
I know it sounds a bit on the selfish side but hey what's the point of endurng all this life hussles with nothing to show for?

Kumbe ni kazi ndo inaleta tabu yote hii. it must be a very well paying job.

 

[Ave Ave Maria]

Kipipi
ouch............I thought you are my friend!!?? Haya mwaya nimefunguka macho, as they say wengi wape.......na kwa kuwawengi wamesema usemavyo, basi I have not other choice but to admit defeat!

Mwanakwetu jamani am still with you bana rather than being a friend only! I also have such strong kind of spirit especially when it comes to a case of Relationship vis-a-vis my plans! I never allow a man to ruin what I hold, but I do respect our agreement and decisions we both made. Na ikitokea kwamba mimi ni sturbon one mama lazima niplay all the difficulties to avoid the mess up. Mwaka mmoja sio issue saana dearest lakini don't take it that simple as far as he is concerned. Ebu fikiria sasa hivi ndio kwanza 2012 hata hiyo 2014 bado haijafika teyari ushafanya extension.....what about the next months and years?? (hilo lazima limkwaze) Sikukatazi plan yako but you have to play an 'extra mind' (hope umenielewa) to convice him na wewe ndo watakiwa ufanye something like reconciliation to bring that mind (him) down badala ya kukaa unajiuliza "what is mwaka mmoja if he really loves me?".....otherwise you let go off it!!!

 

[EMT]

JS
Duh,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,yaani that is exactly what my sister said....as for your other question, I guess I do love him but regardless love shouldnt be the reason to make one forego their life long dreams. Should it?

Nemo,

Hapo kwenye red ndipo kwenye tatizo. Kama ulikuwa unampenda unconditionally wala usingekuja hapa kuomba ushauri. You aren't yourself sure if you really love the guy. The guy might also have noticed this and that is why he has decided to give you the ultimatum before opting for his plan B. He doesn't want you to blame him later for any decision he might take.

Kwa kifupi the ball is in your side. Hata hivyo, kweli unataka kuolewa naye whilst you still guessing if you love him? Kwa sasa the best way forward is to step two steps back and think carerely kama kweli unampenda. Don't rush kuolewa na mtu ambaye una-guess kama unampenda. You need to love him dearly. Otherwise, it is not worth it.

Go back to square one. Do you really love him?

 

[The Boss]

Nemo,

Hapo kwenye red ndipo kwenye tatizo. Kama ulikuwa unampenda unconditionally wala usingekuja hapa kuomba ushauri. You aren't yourself sure if you really love the guy. The guy might also have noticed this and that is why he has decided to give you the ultimatum before opting for his plan B. He doesn't want you to blame him later for any decision he might take.

Kwa kifupi the ball is in your side. Hata hivyo, kweli unataka kuolewa naye whilst you still guessing if you love him? Kwa sasa the best way forward is to step two steps back and think carerely kama kweli unampenda. Don't rush kuolewa na mtu ambaye una-guess kama unampenda. You need to love him dearly. Otherwise, it is not worth it.

Go back to square one. Do you really love him?

exactly......

 

[Ave Ave Maria]

I guess I just dont do well with ultimatums or men exerting their will on my life!

Good......but for the given scenario, it seems like kila mmoja anashikilia anachotaka......hapo lazima ugumu uwepo!! It is hard to resolve on the 'demand point of view' unless you compromise to the interest point of view for the sake of your future relationship (am talking about marriage)!!

 

[Nemo]

Kumbe ni kazi ndo inaleta tabu yote hii. it must be a very well paying job.

No My dear JS,,,,,,,,,,,,ila kazi ndiyo itakayo niwezesha e.g. Kusave pesa za kuanzia maisha, Kufurnish nyumba, Kununua gari na kadhalika

 

[Ave Ave Maria]

@EMT......thanks for coming in here.....for you have said it kwa ujazo broda!! Lol

 

[EMT]

What happened to FAITH??

Hivi Nemo wacha niulize sijui kama utanijibu ili wote humu tujue: what kind of dreams are you referring to here? maana kuanzia mwanzoni you have been on to this dream thing sasa ni dreams gani hizo? wanna be a billionaire or something? dreams ambayo you are 100% sure kwamba uki-embark yourself into life commitment it will all be shattered?

You know sikujua kama issue ya ku-fulfil dreams iko kwa wanawake pia. Kwa sisi wanaume tuna mtindo wa kusema kwamba ngoja kwanza nipgige shule, nipate kazi nzuri, nijenge, nifanye hiki na kile, then baada ya hapo ndio nitafute mke. But it doesn't work like that. One can achieve his/her dreams hata akiwa kwenye maisha ya ndo pia. Kama shule ameshamaliza what is the other dream she is pursuing that a marriage itamzuia kufanya hivyo?

 

[Nemo]

Nemo,

Hapo kwenye red ndipo kwenye tatizo. Kama ulikuwa unampenda unconditionally wala usingekuja hapa kuomba ushauri. You aren't yourself sure if you really love the guy. The guy might also have noticed this and that is why he has decided to give you the ultimatum before opting for his plan B. He doesn't want you to blame him later for any decision he might take.

Kwa kifupi the ball is in your side. Hata hivyo, kweli unataka kuolewa naye whilst you still guessing if you love him? Kwa sasa the best way forward is to step two steps back and think carerely kama kweli unampenda. Don't rush kuolewa na mtu ambaye una-guess kama unampenda. You need to love him dearly. Otherwise, it is not worth it.

Go back to square one. Do you really love him?

EMT
Jamani EMT, kama nilivyo elezea hapo mwanzo "the guess" came form the fact that love is subjective. Had my response been I loved this man unequivocally then, mark my words the arguments would 've turned to, "how can I claim that yet I cant make some sacrifice", how love is giving, etcetera etcetera....................lakini as much as I believe in love and the butterflies in the stomach, I m unable to buy into the premise that that one acting irrational ie "me throwing out the window my dreams" is the a measure of the so called love

 

[Ave Ave Maria]

I m unable to buy into the premise that that one acting irrational ie "me throwing out the window my dreams" is the a measure of the so called love

Nope!!! The problem is......the man sides as you are not into him! (ndo maana nikakutonya mwanakwetu, kazi kwako kama vodacom) lol!!!

 

[afrodenzi]

Pole dadake..

Kwa ninavyoona kweli ashukuru ya kwamba umemwambia mapema..

Pili labda anasema tu hivyo kwa sababu ya hasira fulani mpe muda ata
adopt hiyo situation tu.. Na akija kwa wazazi watakuelewa tu . furaha ya mtoto
amani kwa mzazi..

 

[Nemo]

Pole dadake..

Kwa ninavyoona kweli ashukuru ya kwamba umemwambia mapema..

Pili labda anasema tu hivyo kwa sababu ya hasira fulani mpe muda ata
adopt hiyo situation tu.. Na akija kwa wazazi watakuelewa tu . furaha ya mtoto
amani kwa mzazi..

Ahsante AD, this is comforting!😛oa

 

[afrodenzi]

Ahsante AD, this is comforting!😛oa

No probs..

Anyway hivi leo si ndo Valentine yenyewe...
Em tumia zile teknic zetu za kike umnanilii
alainike kidogo hata kwenye simu, you never know
waweza muingia akayeyuka na kusema " we have to stop this ****,
your mine , i love you so much, just concentrate with what your doing now..
will be waiting .. 😛oa

 

[EMT]

EMT
Jamani EMT, kama nilivyo elezea hapo mwanzo "the guess" came form the fact that love is subjective. Had my response been I loved this man unequivocally then, mark my words the arguments would 've turned to, "how can I claim that yet I cant make some sacrifice", how love is giving, etcetera etcetera....................lakini as much as I believe in love and the butterflies in the stomach, I m unable to buy into the premise that that one acting irrational ie "me throwing out the window my dreams" is the a measure of the so called love

Kwa hiyo, ikitokea mkaoana, bado utaendelea ku-guess kama unampenda simply because you believe that love is subjective? If you want to get that technical, you have better to start by deciding which use of the word "love" you have in mind. Some are objective, some are subjective, some are ambiguous, and some have narrow meaning.

When you love someone because they meet your definition of love, then that is objective. But when you make an effort to show them that you love them, then that becomes subjective. Since you believe love is subjective, then by extending the marriage date for one year, have you shown him how much you love him? Many people have swallowed a lie that says love is subjective. According to God's standards, love is, in deed, very objective.

You need to come alive to the truth - to the objective reality of what true love really is. If that has to happen, your subjective reality would be changed to reflect the truth. You would stop living subjectively under the lie that holds you back and you would then be able to live up to the objective reality that has been true of love all along. Objective reality is real whether we believe it or not. Na ukiangalia michango ya watu wengine hapa, are very objective. Subjective reality is what we perceive reality to be at a personal level, whether it's actually true or not. Ndio imaana umesema una-guess whether or not you love him.

BTW, are you a programmer?

 

[UmkhontoweSizwe]

Nadhani moyo wako hauko sana kwake ila unataka tu kutumia hako ka ultimatum kake kama kisingizio. Ebu fikiria kama wewe ndo ungekuwa umeahidiwa na ukasuburi halafu akaongeza mwaka ungejisikiaje? Si tungesikia vilio na shutuma kwamba wanaume siyo waaminifu?

 

[Nemo]

No probs..

Anyway hivi leo si ndo Valentine yenyewe...
Em tumia zile teknic zetu za kike umnanilii
alainike kidogo hata kwenye simu, you never know
waweza muingia akayeyuka na kusema " we have to stop this ****,
your mine , i love you so much, just concentrate with what your doing now..
will be waiting .. 😛oa

AD
hahahahhaha ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,ok i didnt know you were this funny, Ila realtalk, kama kunakitu mungu kaninyima ni hiyo lugha laini ya kike. Yaani hata sijui nikwambieje, na nimesha onywa several times kuwa mwanamke anatakiwa awe na such and such lugha but for some reason that doesnt come as easily for me!......................... Im more of this is a, and this is b, choose accordingly!which is sad, but na umri huu kubadilika has proven to be challenging

 

[Nemo]

Nadhani moyo wako hauko sana kwake ila unataka tu kutumia hako ka ultimatum kake kama kisingizio. Ebu fikiria kama wewe ndo ungekuwa umeahidiwa na ukasuburi halafu akaongeza mwaka ungejisikiaje? Si tungesikia vilio na shutuma kwamba wanaume siyo waaminifu?

UmkhontoweSizwe
As much as I hate to admit(hapo kwenye red), but you are probably right. Lakini hata hivyo ninge-consider and would've weighed out the reasons. Besides say I go back and tell him nitarudi hiyo 2014. Then nisirudi, wouldnt it take him at least a year to find my replacement? Unless ofcourse he has one on the bag right now? Ila kama ni wakutafutwa I say either way he should at leastl need the same time