Wakali wa umombo JF...

[Bavaria]

Kimweri si tu kingereza,anaweza kubishana na mtu hata kwa kiswahili cha kimtaani na akashinda mnakasha.halafu jamaa ni bingwa wa kuandika post ndefu hapa JF kwa mda mfupi na bado ikawa na nondo tupu.huwa inamsaidia sana kuwachanganya wapinzani wake anaojadiliana nao since wengi wetu huwa hatupendi kusoma post zenye maneno mengi(kasumba ya baadhi ya waafrika ya kutopenda kusoma).wakenya kule kwenye jukwaa lao hawana hamu naye.huyo ndio kimweri,hao wengine hao mbwembwe tu labda kidogo EMT:becky:

ni mtizamo wangu tu.

Kimweri is my role model. Hakuna asichokijua. Huyu ni mzaramo anaejua kingereza atakusema hadi utaishia kumtukana. Ila the guy knows bhana. Na inaelekea most of times anatumia computer kutype ndo maana anakushushia gazeti in a short time. Wengine ni mwendo wa simu mwanzo mwisho.

 

[Steph Curry]

Kimweri kiboko akina MK254 NairobiWalker kule kwenye Jukwaa lao wanamjua vizuri.. Wakimwona tu wanatoka mbio teh teh

 

[kadoda11]

Kimweri is my role model. Hakuna asichokijua. Huyu ni mzaramo anaejua kingereza atakusema hadi utaishia kumtukana. Ila the guy knows bhana. Na inaelekea most of times anatumia computer kutype ndo maana anakushushia gazeti in a short time. Wengine ni mwendo wa simu mwanzo mwisho.

akina "naniliyu" hutumia kingereza chao kule MMU kudanganyia baadhi ya mademu,ila jamaa anacheza kwenye zile forum pasua kichwa ambazo ukielezea jambo lazima uwe na hakika nalo au uambatanishe chanzo/link.

 

[holygrail]

They are going to stab you if you brag.

They are going to stab you if you drag.

They are going to stab you if you gag.

Brag, drag, gag, all in a bag

They are going to stab you bad.

We ndo mbebez you know!?? Hujui kitu kabisaa...infwakti ni kichwa maji...kuna manguri ya ngeri jf kama jack daniel'z, nyero na jamaa flan hv kimweri

 

[FaizaFoxy]

[h=4]Contributed by: Sasidhar N. Reddy (sasi@netcad.enet.dec.com)[/h] This is the essay on "Cow" which was (supposedly) written by some student
in the course of completing the "Indian Civil Services Examination" 🙂

I bet you will enjoy this.

Sachi

PS : There are no typos in this essay. Everything is legal and as it was
written in the exam.If you develop cramps reading this or find your
English gone haywire after reading this, please dont blame me 🙂

___________________________________________________________________________

CALCUTTA's Telegraph has got hold of an answer paper of a candidate at the
recent UPSC examinations. The candidate has written an essay on the Indian
cow:

"The cow is a successful animal. Also he is quadrupud, and because he is
female, he give milk,but will do so when he is got child.He is same like
God,sacred to Hindus and useful to man.But he has got four legs together.
Two are forward and two are afterwards.

"His whole body can be utilised for use. More so the milk. What can it do?
Various ghee, butter,cream, curd, why and the condensed milk and so forth.
Also he is useful to cobbler, watermans and mankind generally.

"His motion is slow only because he is of asitudinious species. Also his
other motion is much useful to trees, plants as well as making flat cakes in
hand and drying in the sun. Cow is the only animal that extricates his feeding
after eating. Then afterwards she chew with his teeth whom are situated in
the inside of the mouth. He is incessantly in the meadows in the grass.

"His only attacking and defending organ is the horn, specially so when he is
got child. This is done by knowing his head whereby he causes the weapons
to be paralleled to the ground of the earth and instantly proceed with great
velocity forwards.

"He has got tails also, but not like similar animals. It has hairs on the
other end of the other side. This is done to frighten away the flies which
alight on his cohoa body whereupon he gives hit with it.

The palms of his feet are soft unto the touch. So the grasses head is not
crushed. At night time have poses by looking down on the ground and he shouts
his eyes like his relatives, the horse does not do so.

"This is the cow."

P.S.: We are informed that the candidate passed the exam.

Source: The Cow - A funny Essay from Indian UPSC exams

 

[holygrail]

[h=4]Contributed by: Sasidhar N. Reddy (sasi@netcad.enet.dec.com)[/h] This is the essay on "Cow" which was (supposedly) written by some student
in the course of completing the "Indian Civil Services Examination" 🙂

I bet you will enjoy this.

Sachi

PS : There are no typos in this essay. Everything is legal and as it was
written in the exam.If you develop cramps reading this or find your
English gone haywire after reading this, please dont blame me 🙂

___________________________________________________________________________

CALCUTTA's Telegraph has got hold of an answer paper of a candidate at the
recent UPSC examinations. The candidate has written an essay on the Indian
cow:

"The cow is a successful animal. Also he is quadrupud, and because he is
female, he give milk,but will do so when he is got child.He is same like
God,sacred to Hindus and useful to man.But he has got four legs together.
Two are forward and two are afterwards.

"His whole body can be utilised for use. More so the milk. What can it do?
Various ghee, butter,cream, curd, why and the condensed milk and so forth.
Also he is useful to cobbler, watermans and mankind generally.

"His motion is slow only because he is of asitudinious species. Also his
other motion is much useful to trees, plants as well as making flat cakes in
hand and drying in the sun. Cow is the only animal that extricates his feeding
after eating. Then afterwards she chew with his teeth whom are situated in
the inside of the mouth. He is incessantly in the meadows in the grass.

"His only attacking and defending organ is the horn, specially so when he is
got child. This is done by knowing his head whereby he causes the weapons
to be paralleled to the ground of the earth and instantly proceed with great
velocity forwards.

"He has got tails also, but not like similar animals. It has hairs on the
other end of the other side. This is done to frighten away the flies which
alight on his cohoa body whereupon he gives hit with it.

The palms of his feet are soft unto the touch. So the grasses head is not
crushed. At night time have poses by looking down on the ground and he shouts
his eyes like his relatives, the horse does not do so.

"This is the cow."

P.S.: We are informed that the candidate passed the exam.

Source: The Cow - A funny Essay from Indian UPSC exams

Mbna we mwenyewe ng'ombe

 

[Bishweko]

aah just a damn crumble

 

[FaizaFoxy]

Mbna we mwenyewe ng'ombe

Pole sana kama wewe mwenyewe ni ng'ombe, sikushangai.

 

[Marco Polo]

That makes two of us.

Moreover, one could argue, with the authority of a playwright laureate like George Bernard Shaw to back him, that almost half of English in itself, being a kaleidoscope of a potpourri of a smorgasbord of illogical amalgamation and constructs of mostly medieval if not ancient Indo-European dialects, is hardly impressive anyhow.

Swahili has a more elegant logic and is more phonetically aligned, therefore, more intuitive.

But I have yet to see a thread discussing who is the best Swahili writer at JF.

Ww jamaa huwa sipendi kabisa kusoma comments zako unapoandika kizungu kwa sababu mwisho lazima nihisi maumivu ya kichwa maana huwa natumia nguvu sana aisee.

 

[Marco Polo]

I do not know
stopped using terms that do not exist anywhere in the world to lose focus of the topic

Ahahahaha nimecheka sana hapa aisee.... Sasa si umeyataka mwenyewe bwana

 

[Tanganyikana]

Hawa hapa Kiranga FaizaFoxy Paulo Sergio De Souz Nyani Ngabu

 

[Kiranga]

Hawa hapa Kiranga FaizaFoxy Paulo Sergio De Souz Nyani Ngabu

Mimi naomba unitoe mkuu kwani kiingereza changu ni kile cha "English as a Second Language".

English, being a lingua franca potpourri of Indo-European tongues bundled together with little to no consideration to logic or consistency, has more exception than rules. It is also not elegantly phonetic and came to be a world language by a series of political events rather than the merit of its beauty.

Therefore, I stand with all of those who find it hard to grasp such an illogical language, because their mother tongue is rather more logical, phonetic and intuitive.

The Irish award winning playwright George Bernard Shaw had a few choice words on the subject.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ghoti

 

[Tanganyikana]

Mimi naomba initoe mkuu kwani kiingereza changu ni kile cha "English as a Second Language".

English, being a lingua franca potpourri of Indo-European tongues bundled together with little to no consideration to logic or consistency, has more wxception than rules, it is not elegantly phonetic and came to be a world language by a series of political events rather than the mwrit of its beauty.

Therefore, I stand with all of thise who find it hard to grasp such an illogical language, because their mother tongue is rather more logical and intuitive.

The Irish award winning playwright George Bernard Shaw had a few choice words on the subject.

Hata hapo nimeelewa hiyo mistari miwili tu ya mwanzoni

 

[Kiranga]

Hata hapo nimeelewa hiyo mistari miwili tu ya mwanzoni

Labda issue si kwamba Kiranga ni mkali sana wa English.

Labda issue ni kwamba kiwango chetu cha kiingereza kama nchi kiko chini sana kiasi kwamba mtu anayejifunza kiingereza kama Kiranga naye anaonekana mkali.

Kwa wiki unasoma vichapisho gani vya kiingereza?

 

[Tanganyikana]

Labda issue si kwamba Kiranga ni mkali sana wa English.

Labda issue ni kwamba kiwango chetu cha kiingereza kama nchi kiko chini sana kiasi kwamba mtu anayejifunza kiingereza kama Kiranga naye anaonekana mkali.

Kwa wiki unasoma vichapisho gani vya kiingereza?

Labda,

 

[Kiranga]

Labda,

Naona swali langu umeliepa.

 

[Tanganyikana]

Naona swali langu umeliepa.

Mkuu Kiranga kwasasa najifunza kiingereza kwa kasi sana nina some story books,navisomaga coz nowdays nina muda wa kufanya hivyo hata hapa nnacho.

 

[Leonard Robert]

Kiranga nisome vitabu gani nipige ung'ng'e kukuzidi wewe?

 

[Kiranga]

Mkuu Kiranga kwasasa najifunza kiingereza kwa kasi sana nina some story books,navisomaga coz nowdays nina muda wa kufanya hivyo hata hapa nnacho.

Hahaha, ulivyosema hata sasa unacho unanikumbusha mwalimu wangu mkuu wa Tambaza, akiitwa Julius Mushi. Kwa sasa marehemu.

Alikuwa akisema "never get caught without a good book".

Yani alikuwa anataka hata akikukuta kituo cha basi unasubiri basi, uwe na kitabu hata cha hadithi tu kujenga msamiati wa kiingereza.

Tunahitaji walimu wanaojenga utamaduni wa kujisomea kama huyu.

 

[Tanganyikana]

Hahaha, ulivyosema hata aasa unacho unanikumbusha mwalimu wangu mkuu wa Tambaza, akiitwa Julius Mushi. Kwa sasa marehemu.

Alikuwa akisema "never get caught without a good book".

Yani alikuwa anataka hata akikukuta kituo cha basi unasubiri basi, uwe na kitabu hata cha hadithi tu kujenga msamiati wa kiingereza.

Tunahitaji walimu wanaojenga utamaduni wa kujisomea kama huyu.

Ni kweli mkuu na naona hivi vitabu ndio mpango mzima kwangu vinasaidia sana ila inatakiwa iwe na interested story isiyoboa.