TANZANIA CRASHES G-8 SUMMIT; FURIOUS WIFE OF JAPANESE HOST OVERHEARD BERATING HUSBAND: 'WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME TANZANIA WAS COMING?' '. . . THIS IS GOING TO SCREW UP THE PLACE SETTINGS!' (RUSUTSU, Japan) - A mild disturbance occurred at the G8 summit yesterday when Tanzania showed up at the G8 dinner dance uninvited. Tanzanian President Jakaya Kikwete told security personnel at the front door that he happened to be in the area, and thought hed drop in for a quick hello. He then entered the hall, and, after applying a sticker that read Hi, Im Tanzania to his lapel, took a seat between America and Great Britain. Nice to meet you, Tarzan, said President Bush, before heading through the buffet line. We put out quite a spread at these things. Speaking to reporters at the end of the evening, President Kikwete admitted he was disappointed with the chilly reception he received. A lot of countries kept dropping little hints to me that I wasnt welcome, he said. "Germany asked me point blank: 'Did you know this was specifically advertised as industrial nations only?' I was fumbling for an answer, so I blurted out that a lion ate the mailman who was delivering my invitation, but she didnt buy it. 'A lion ate your mailman?' she sneered, before walking away. That was not the worst of it. France and Russia kept walking by, and then burst out laughing. I watched them turn around, look back at me, and laugh again. President Kikwete remained optimistic that one day he wouldnt have to sneak in to a G8 summit. All we need is one factory in my country, and Ill start the application process.