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Vituko jeshini

Discussion in 'Jokes/Utani + Udaku/Gossips' started by HP1, Feb 15, 2012.

  1. HP1

    HP1 JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Feb 15, 2012
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    Wana JF ningependa sana tujikumbushe mambo yaliyokuwa yanajiri katika kambi za jeshi. Wale waliopitia jeshini, wanajeshi na wanaofahamu vituko vya jeshi watuambie.

    Siku moja afande aliwakuta makuruta wakiwa wanapiga stori zao. Afande kwa hasira akawaonyesha kibao na kusema "Arooo hamjui kusoma? hapa pameandikwa NO SMOKING maana yake MSIPIGE KERERE.."
     
  2. ngulinho

    ngulinho JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Feb 15, 2012
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    :A S embarassed:ha ha ha ha ha ha
     
  3. SHIEKA

    SHIEKA JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Feb 15, 2012
    Joined: Dec 20, 2011
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    kuruta alikuwa anaumwa.Afanda wake akamtafuta kumjulia hali na kumwuliza, "We kuruta! Hali yako vipi?
    KURUTA:"Ninaimprove afande!"
    AFANDE:"Sarare! Unaimpluvu? Ugonjwa mgeni huo.Itabidi uende Muhimbiri!"
     
  4. HP1

    HP1 JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Feb 15, 2012
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    Tehe tehe toh toh hahaaa
     
  5. Masikini_Jeuri

    Masikini_Jeuri JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Feb 15, 2012
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    Kuruta akiwa mbali na msururu wa chakula alikutwa na afande ikawa kama hivi;

    Afande: Mbona umekaa pembeni wakti wenzio wako kwenye FORENI?

    Kuruta: Sina appetite afande

    Afande: Aaah mbona wenzako wanazo mbiri mbiri si waambie wakugawie?
     
  6. Perry

    Perry JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Feb 15, 2012
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    Teh teh teh.
     
  7. m

    mkazamjomba Member

    #7
    Feb 15, 2012
    Joined: Jan 27, 2012
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    tulikuwa makutupora dom afande akauliza we mbona huendi kula akajibiwa sina appetite akasema arrooo aliyenazo mbili mumwazime mwenzenu
     
  8. M

    Midavudavu JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Feb 15, 2012
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    Au mtafuta rafiki yako mkomfuzi pamoja mle wote.
     
  9. m

    mkazamjomba Member

    #9
    Feb 15, 2012
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    jeshini ilikuwa sio aibu kusema ninaumwa niko period afande akajibu haya ambao mko period wavulana huku na nyie wasichana huku napenda sana walio period sio kuja kuwa wazembe alidhani afya ni ngangari
     
  10. M

    Midavudavu JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Feb 15, 2012
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    Afande mmoja wa kike sitamsahau kwa vituko vyake. Wakati wa kuchapa mguu alipenda kusema " Nyanyua mguu mwanaume hadi usawa wa k...........yangu" huku akionyesha kwa kidole.
     
  11. m

    mkazamjomba Member

    #11
    Feb 15, 2012
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    nakumbuka tulikuwa na disko sasa kila msichana hataki kucheza na afande wakati huo tumechana afro na pekoz enzi hizo bwana kumbe iliwauma tulimaliza disko saa 7 kufika saa 8 tukatolewa nje tusiosuka twende kilioni wacha turushwe kichura kumbe hasira ya kukata kucheza nao
     
  12. kalukamise

    kalukamise JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Feb 15, 2012
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    Afande alitukuta tumekaa akatuambia kuruta kavaeni green vest za kijani...mkuu hapo ukicheka tu unao anaweza hata kulia eti umemtukana
     
  13. Mahesabu

    Mahesabu JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Feb 15, 2012
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    Green vest ya kijani.....gentlemen mwajuma!!!
     
  14. Nyaubwii

    Nyaubwii JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Feb 15, 2012
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    Hahahahahahaaaaaaaaaa dah afande bana
     
  15. Leonard Robert

    Leonard Robert JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Feb 15, 2012
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    ha ha ha aibu ziko uraian mangi.
     
  16. Masikini_Jeuri

    Masikini_Jeuri JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Feb 15, 2012
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    hahahahahaha!

    Afandeeeeee hawa huku wanakucheka!
     
  17. Gabmanu

    Gabmanu Senior Member

    #17
    Feb 15, 2012
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    Mmevunja mbaya! Nakumbuka nikiwa xucl machal flan nikuwackia wakitafsiri hili neno
    "LAST WORNING" eti ni "KOSA LA MWISHO"
     
  18. Vodka

    Vodka JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Feb 15, 2012
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    Dah jeshini nakumbuka bia za bei rahisi tu.
     
  19. HP1

    HP1 JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Feb 16, 2012
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    Afande alimpa adhabu kuruta ya kusukuma ardhi (push ups). Akawa anaamrisha up down up down... Kuna muda kuruta alikuwa amechoka amelalia tumbo afande akaendelea kusema DOWN huku akionyesha kwa mkono kuwa anyanyuke juu jamaa aliendelea kulala uso ukiwa kwenye mchanga. Afande akamwita mwenzake kwa sauti akisema "...Aroooooo potiiiii hiri ri jamaa harierewi kiingereza.."
     
  20. e

    egbert44 JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Feb 16, 2012
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    kwiiikwikwikwi
     
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