Ulishawahi kula tunda kimasihara?

Ulishawahi kula tunda kimasihara?

Duh mzeee chakula halisi hukula umeishia kumla mama
Junior Lecturer said:
sikumoja nimetoka zangu mizunguko ya kutwa nzima ,nikapita kwa mama nijazie kupiga msosi nakuta ndo wanafungasha msosi umeisha. Nikajitamkia kwa saut looh, imekula kwangu! Maza mtumzima akanitania sijui "baba tukakupikie nyumbani uje ule wewe ni mteja wetu". Nikasema mtakuwa mmenisaidia. Si akajiroga twende nisaidie na hayo mafuta. Kufika road maza akawaambia wafanyakazi wake na yeye wapite sokoni mimi nitangulie na binti yake. Baadaye akagoma akasema hapana weflani nenda na hawa . Tulipo fika home nika mtania mama hauniamin kwa bint yako. Akasema tokalini simba akamlinda swala. Nikamtania mbona na wewe ni swala ? Akadai hauniwezi wekijana hii tani mia . Si nika mgusa likiuno lake! Akadai ukiamsha mashetani utajuta . Nikatomasa tena kiuno akanivutia sijui ni chumba cha kupumzikia maana kilikuwa na kochi moja na mkeka. Weeh. Kula mate sana. Kupima oil imo ya kutosha. Finger sanaa maza ana mimaji mpaka rahaa! Yaan kama bomba limepasuka. Nilipiga mti siku hiyo acha kabisa. Ilabaadaye bint ake alijua. Maana alianza kunitania baba baba. Huyo sija mla japo anautani sana. Mara umemfanya mama yangu zuu. Huyu mama ni single maza alizalishwa akiwa mwanafunzi, jamaa aliye mzalisha akachezea jela 25 yrs.
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Duhh
MtamaMchungu said:
Kisa changu na mlokole wa FB

Siku moja nikaweka profile picture mpya Facebook, a quote kutoka kwa philosopher mmoja anaitwa Epicurus ikihoji kama is God is so powerful, why doesn't he stop evil. Nimeamka zangu asubuhi napitia fb inbox nakutana na message kali kutoka kwa binti mmoja kwenye friend list lakini wala hatujawahi kufahamiana. Alikuwa suggested nikamuongeza tu. Message kama 5 hivi, anadai why are you mocking my God, am very offended blah blah blah. Nikamjibu ,"relax, I have not killed your God". Halafu nikapotezea.

Baadae naona message tena, nikasema ngoja nipitie profile yake. Kuchek, picha zote ni za wachungaji wakubwa wakubwa, hakuna picha yake hata moja. Tukaendelea kuchat siku ile, yeye amekazana toa hiyo picha, mimi namwambia, kama wewe unavyotumia uhuru wako kuamini; mimi nautumia kutoamini! Kwahiyo ngoma droo. The next day message tena, "Unanikwaza sana, mbona hujatoa picha". Nikajisemea huyu binti anachokitafuta atakipata. Nikamwambia akitaka niitoe, itabidi anifundishe neno upya na kunibatiza. Akaruka, mimi sio mchungaji. Nikamwambia basi wewe nifundishe tu, njoo home unipe neno nione kama naweza rudi huko. Akaniambia ana safari ya Rwanda, hawezi kuja. Kumuuliza kwani wewe sio Mtanzania, akaniambia mama yake Mnyarwanda, baba mchaga so ni Mtanzania kama mimi. Nikawaza tu combination ya mchaga na mnyarwanda lazima itakuwa kali hata kama picha sijaona. Am on the right track hapa. Akaniambia we will see when am back.

After two weeks ananicheck kwamba she's back in town. Well and good, so unakuja lini, akaniambia she will let me know. Siku moja usiku, naona message; nakuja kesho. Dah, mzee mzima niko 3rd year and nina test moja hiyo kesho. Nikamwambia poa, nikamtumia namba. Kesho asubuhi, nikatimba dispensary kwanza nipate cheti cha kuombea special test;. hakuna namna nilikuwa namuacha huyu mtoto. Nikapitia mazagazaga, nikarudi home. Pika msosi, kidogo naona simu anauliza nishukie wapi. Nikamwelekeza, kituoni kuna boda boda mshikaji, akamleta. Kufika nikaona kifaa black beauty, mrefu hivi na shape zile zile za majirani.

Tuka-exchange niceties pale, tukabishanaaaa kuhusu mambo ya religion believes, history of the church etc etc, huku mimi nawaza tu huu mzigo naukulaje hapa. Baada ya muda nikamkaribisha chakula, tukala fresh; nataka kutoa vyombo, aka-offer kuvitoa na kuosha. Nikasema huku huku jikoni hatoki. Ameingia tu nikamfuata kujifanya nataka kumsaidia, nikasimama nyuma yake; na alivyokuwa mrefu hamna hata kuinama; nikamnong'oneza nikimsifia nywele zake akacheka akanipa asante. Nikamshika juu ya kiuno, nikaona amestuka kidogo, akaacha na kuosha vyombo; kumbe kichupa kimejaa. After some kissing, sketi iliinuliwa, akashikishwa kikabati cha jikoni, likapigwa moja. Tukaenda kuoga, then mambo yakaendelea room. Jioni binti akarudi kwao, akanitumia tu text, thanx for the pleasurable afternoon.

Tuliendelea kuwasiliana for sometime, mambo ya profile picture yalishawekwa pembeni. Siku moja ananiambia nakuja kukusamilimia, tukafanya yetu. Afterwards ananiambia, alikuja kuniaga, she's going to Belgium kwa aunt yake kusoma chuo. Alipofika alikuja kunimbia, afadhali aliondoka TZ, mimi ningemwaribu akili. Right now ameolewa na watoto wake wawili huko Antwerp.
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Champagnee said:
Sijawai share comment ya kula tunda kimasihara. Nimekula mengi tu ila ya juzi ni kali so kwa toto lile dadeki. Juzi me na mchiz wangu tumekula tunda kimasihara sana ipo hivi tulikuwa samak samak mbele yetu kulikuwa na madem3 wamekaa ni madem wakali visu,wahun macho kwao kama unavojua madem wakali wahun walikuw wakisogea kuwazingua ila hakuna aliekuwa anafanikiwa. Me nikajua jamaa wanapofeli [emoji23], tukamwita waita tukamwambia waulize wale ladies wanakunywa nn then wapige chupa2 each. Waiter akawaletea smirnoff bhs sisi tukaendelea kupiga chupa zetu mdg mdg baada ya dk25 hv dem mmoja akasepa wakabak2 ofcourse sisi tulikuwa hatuna hbr kabisa ghafla wakaja tulipo wakashukuru tukaanza story ni madem wa 2nd yr wabich kabisa. Tumekaa nao mpaka sa7 usik tukawauliza mnaelekea wapi? Hawaeleweki, Tukawambia twenden tufateni hao wakanyanyuka mmoja akauliza tunaenda wapi?[emoji23] nikamwambia twende somewhere safe. Jamaa angu akanambia what we gonna do kwa hawa bitch*s tukapata wazo twende nao lodge tu, hao tukagawana kila mtu na wake piga mashine balaa, yani mpaka sasa siamni kula toto zuri hv kimasihara[emoji23][emoji1316][emoji1316]. Since jana ananisumbua hyu mtoto anataka r/ship anatuma txt hovyo so kupiga mpaka najuta kwann nlimwachia no[emoji23][emoji23][emoji1316][emoji1316]. Wanawake mmekua cheap sana.


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Hao wanaojazana hapo samaki samaki wengi wao ni malaya wa sinza.
 
MtamaMchungu said:
Kisa changu na mlokole wa FB

Siku moja nikaweka profile picture mpya Facebook, a quote kutoka kwa philosopher mmoja anaitwa Epicurus ikihoji kama is God is so powerful, why doesn't he stop evil. Nimeamka zangu asubuhi napitia fb inbox nakutana na message kali kutoka kwa binti mmoja kwenye friend list lakini wala hatujawahi kufahamiana. Alikuwa suggested nikamuongeza tu. Message kama 5 hivi, anadai why are you mocking my God, am very offended blah blah blah. Nikamjibu ,"relax, I have not killed your God". Halafu nikapotezea.

Baadae naona message tena, nikasema ngoja nipitie profile yake. Kuchek, picha zote ni za wachungaji wakubwa wakubwa, hakuna picha yake hata moja. Tukaendelea kuchat siku ile, yeye amekazana toa hiyo picha, mimi namwambia, kama wewe unavyotumia uhuru wako kuamini; mimi nautumia kutoamini! Kwahiyo ngoma droo. The next day message tena, "Unanikwaza sana, mbona hujatoa picha". Nikajisemea huyu binti anachokitafuta atakipata. Nikamwambia akitaka niitoe, itabidi anifundishe neno upya na kunibatiza. Akaruka, mimi sio mchungaji. Nikamwambia basi wewe nifundishe tu, njoo home unipe neno nione kama naweza rudi huko. Akaniambia ana safari ya Rwanda, hawezi kuja. Kumuuliza kwani wewe sio Mtanzania, akaniambia mama yake Mnyarwanda, baba mchaga so ni Mtanzania kama mimi. Nikawaza tu combination ya mchaga na mnyarwanda lazima itakuwa kali hata kama picha sijaona. Am on the right track hapa. Akaniambia we will see when am back.

After two weeks ananicheck kwamba she's back in town. Well and good, so unakuja lini, akaniambia she will let me know. Siku moja usiku, naona message; nakuja kesho. Dah, mzee mzima niko 3rd year and nina test moja hiyo kesho. Nikamwambia poa, nikamtumia namba. Kesho asubuhi, nikatimba dispensary kwanza nipate cheti cha kuombea special test;. hakuna namna nilikuwa namuacha huyu mtoto. Nikapitia mazagazaga, nikarudi home. Pika msosi, kidogo naona simu anauliza nishukie wapi. Nikamwelekeza, kituoni kuna boda boda mshikaji, akamleta. Kufika nikaona kifaa black beauty, mrefu hivi na shape zile zile za majirani.

Tuka-exchange niceties pale, tukabishanaaaa kuhusu mambo ya religion believes, history of the church etc etc, huku mimi nawaza tu huu mzigo naukulaje hapa. Baada ya muda nikamkaribisha chakula, tukala fresh; nataka kutoa vyombo, aka-offer kuvitoa na kuosha. Nikasema huku huku jikoni hatoki. Ameingia tu nikamfuata kujifanya nataka kumsaidia, nikasimama nyuma yake; na alivyokuwa mrefu hamna hata kuinama; nikamnong'oneza nikimsifia nywele zake akacheka akanipa asante. Nikamshika juu ya kiuno, nikaona amestuka kidogo, akaacha na kuosha vyombo; kumbe kichupa kimejaa. After some kissing, sketi iliinuliwa, akashikishwa kikabati cha jikoni, likapigwa moja. Tukaenda kuoga, then mambo yakaendelea room. Jioni binti akarudi kwao, akanitumia tu text, thanx for the pleasurable afternoon.

Tuliendelea kuwasiliana for sometime, mambo ya profile picture yalishawekwa pembeni. Siku moja ananiambia nakuja kukusamilimia, tukafanya yetu. Afterwards ananiambia, alikuja kuniaga, she's going to Belgium kwa aunt yake kusoma chuo. Alipofika alikuja kunimbia, afadhali aliondoka TZ, mimi ningemwaribu akili. Right now ameolewa na watoto wake wawili huko Antwerp.
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Huyu binti hakuwa mlokole ni mdangaji tu. Wewe ndio uliliwa kimasihara kama hujui. Alitumia huyo mwanya wa meseji yako kujenga ukaribu na wewe.

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Bazazi said:
Anaitumia kama silaha ya Msaada. Pale tu anapotaka kumshika Nyamaume. Naamini alikutafuta tena na tena.

Watu za watu na kutoa tiGO. Takwimu ziso rasmi zinadai ndo wanaoongoza kwa kutoa tiGO kuliko singles. Sababu hawawezi kumkatalia mchepuko kwani anaweza achwa. Anaogopa kuachwa maana hajui lini atatongozwa tena na chaguo lake. Pua hawataki kubadili mchepuko mara kwa mara kwa hofu ya habari kusambaa na kuzagaa. Kuwa na mmoja kuna~garantee habari kumfikia mmiliki


Bazazi

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