Stress za kuolewa/kuoa zinamkuta mtu yeyote, kutegemeana na ndoto au mipango yake. Maybe mtu amepanga kuwa nikifika age/stage fulani lazima niwe na A, B, C, so hiyo age/stage ikifika na hajakamilisha ndoto yake ndo mtu anaanza kuwa na stress. Au tu mtu anahitaji sana ndoa at the moment afu haoni mtu wa kufunga naye ndoa, ndo wengine desperation inapoanza bila kujali ni me/ke
Nafikiri kinachofanya wanawake tuwe desperate sana ni kale kamfumo kalikotuaminisha kuwa mwanamke hujakamilika bila ndoa . So pamoja na yote unayoyafanya/kuachieve as long as hujaolewa, jamii haitoacha kukuuliza maswali. So wengi wetu wanafall kuwa victims wa society, wanakuwa desperate sana kuolewa. Nilishawahi kukaa na binti, she was just 22 ila ni desperate kuliko shangazi yake hapa.
Kingine ni kwa vile tu wanawake tuna biological clock. Ukishafika age fulani fulani si salama sana kuzaa watoto. But at the very same time wapo wanaume ambao pia wanataka kuwa na familia mapema ili wazae mapema na walee watoto wao. Msemo wa kwamba mwanaume hata akiwa 50 anazaa ni kweli ila nafikiri wengi inawakuta tu kwa sababu fulani zilizo nje ya uwezo wao. Ila kwamba mwanaume anapanga kabisa kuwa nitazaa 1st born nikiwa 50 mmmmh. So wapo wanaume pia ikifika age fulani anaanza kuwa desperate as anaona muda unampita mkono na hana familia
Na ukweli ni kwamba tukakutana na wanaume desperate wengi tu. Kuna muda na sisi japo tunahitaji ndoa lakini udesperate wa mtu unakuogopesha hadi ndoa huitaki tena lol. Mtu mmekutana ndani ya mwezi anataka muanze process za ndoa, me hapana kwa kweli weee.
IMO, kuwa desperate ( na kitu chochote not necessarily ndoa) ni choice, ni sign ya kuwa "UNGRATEFUL". Unaconcentrate sana na usivyonavyo, unasahau kucount your blessings ndo maana unapanic. Maandiko yanasema "Bali utafuteni kwanza ufalme wake na haki yake na hayo yote mtazidishiwa". So why are you stressing yaself ? Don't you believe in God's perfect time darlin?. Plus hakuna kitu kibaya kama kufanya maamuzi ya maisha yako ukiwa desperate. No wonder ndoa zetu nyingi ni za misukosuko, mtu hakuolewa/kuoa kwa sababu anajua ndoa ni nini na anajua ni nini wito wake katika ndoa, alifunga ndoa simply because muda umeenda or jamii inamnyooshea sana vidole au anataka azae watoto mapema. Decision yoyote ya maisha yako ifanyike muda ambao umerelax, while things are flowing naturally. Nikianza kuhesabu ambavyo sina kwenye maisha yangu, ni vingi mweeh but I chose to stick with my blessings, na huwezi kunikuta nina stress unless niwe naumwa (hahha Mungu nisamehe tu muda ninaoumwaga lol, Afya yangu, mtaji wangu). Weekend njema