Mtoto wa nje ya ndoa

Kipanga · Jun 7, 2008

Yaelekea maindainda,

Unaelewa wazi kuwa kuna siku isiyokuwa na jina jibaba litazuka kuja kuchua mtoto wake...Hilo wazo kuwa hutaki mtoto alelewe na biological baba naona unatarudi nyuma hatua 10 na unaenda mbele hatu 2 uko mbali sna na ukweli. Sioni tatizo liko wapi wewe kumueleza ukweli huyo mumeo?? Imagine siku huyo msela anakuja hapo full swing kuchukua mtoto na amejiandaa kwa lolote lile litakalotokea kwani anajua kabisa kuwa atakuta kidume cha nyumba mi nina imani utakuwa wa kwanza kukimbia na kuwaacha hao jamaa wakiendelea na marumbano kwani hutakuwa na stamina wala ujasiri wa kusimama na kutoa maelezo ya kueleweka....Sasa hizi sitaki nataka zako zitakutokea puani kama sio masikioni..

Kama unadhani kukaa kimya ni chaguo lako ok endelea ila tutaomba siku mwenye mtoto akija kumchukua utufahamishe wana JF mazingira yalikuwaje na reaction ya hao waheshimiwa wawili na hasa huyo mumeo. Sina hofu sana na mwenye mtoto maana amechukua chake poa kabisa hata kama ni mimi ningefanya hivyo hivyo..

Chief · Jun 7, 2008

mchongoma said:
...
Vile vile nakuasa tena na tena, Only when you think the time is right ndio hapo uumwage mtama, consequenses zake ni kubwa kuliko unavyozifikiria, kati ya Mumeo au mwanao kuna mmoja itamuathiri zaidi kisaikolojia lakini ukweli lazima siku moja uuseme, usiende na 'siri' kaburini.

Better sooner than later. Hujui utaenda lini kaburini. Sidhani kama kuwa wakati utakuja utasema, this is the right time. and the more you delay the worse the repercussion.

Kwa kweli sielewi jinsi Mchongoma anavyoweza kuvumilia kuona mtoto analelewa na mtu mwingine. Ufumbuzi mwingi hapa naona unaelekea watu kufikiri ndoa zao, kama wataaachika n.k. na hawatilii maanani haki ya mtoto kujua bilogocal parents wake!! Labda utamaduni wa kabila letu unaathiri mawazo yangu kuhusu hii issue kwani kwetu ni lazima tangu utotoni ujue majina ya mababu zako. Mfano mimi najua majina ya babu wa mababu zangu 9 (fulani kamzaa fulani etc) hivi, kwa hiyo naona si haki kabisa kumbambikia baba mtoto ambaye si wake, vile vile na mtoto kumwita mtu baba wakati si baba yake.

By the way, naona akina baba wenye watoto wafanye DNA test za watoto wao especially kama hawafananani na baba zao. Nina-imagine huyu baba anatoa malezi yote kwa moyo mweupe na mkunjufu akiamini mtoto ni wake na anamwamini kabisa mke wake kamzalia watoto wote, kumbe...... It could be YOU🙂

Masanja · Jun 7, 2008

Hii thread inafunza sana.

Msanii, mimi nilikutana na mtu nikaambiwa ni dada yangu wakati nimeshafika UNIVERISTY MWAKA WA TATU! na tulikutania chuoni. Strange but true na mpaka leo tunaheshimiana na kupendana na kusaidiana pale inapobidi. Life is like that, yaliyopita si ndwele..... Wakati jamaa yangu nakumbuka..wakati wanamzika baba yao..ndo alijitokeza kijana wa miaka 30 kuja kudai haki yake ya urithi....for the first time..na mind you mdingi alikuwa anahudumia kama kawaida kwa siri..baba mlezi hajui..it was soooo sad..but again..we live in imperfect world...

Maindainda swala la kusema au kukaa kimya ni very disturbing. Itakuwaje mtoto akijua hata kama ameshakuwa mtu mzima? I can assure you SIR NI YA MTU MMOJA TUU SI YA WAWILI, na hata hapo ulipo huwezi kuwa na uhakika kama huyo jamaa uliyezaa naye hajawaambia wengine kwamba mtoto uliye naye ni wake? You never know. Angalia pande zote za shillingi. What Iam sure of, trust me, huyo mtoto wako atakuja jua tuu..hata kama hutamwambia wewe. Maana inawezekana kabisa, huyo jamaa yako akawa hata ameshawaambia wanafamilia wake..lakini wakawa wanakulia timing..And huwezi jua huyo mtoto atakuwa nani in the future? what if he becomes another Obama? Imean weigh vizuri..si rahisi mtu kumuacha mtoto wake eti ana save ndoa yako..akina Mchongoma na Abunuwasi ni akina Musa na Abrahamu of our times..ni wachache mno.

Naomba kukuuliza..huyo mtoto ana umri gani kwa sasa (hata kama huwezi taja umri exactly..kadiria)? kama bado ni mdogo..the earlier you do it the better. After all Iam sure hata wewe bado unalipa na the way you sound..you cant fail to take charge of your own life, if destiny so dictates.......so you can start a new chapter....you wont be the last or the first my dear...

What you did is bad, lakini wewe si wa kwanza wala wa mwisho...piga moyo konde...itakuwa mbaya zaidi kama mtoto akijua ameshakuwa mtu mzima....it may wreck the rest of your future na siku zako za duniani zikawa misery tupu...

Wengi wamequote vitabu vitakatifu..lakini..hivyo vitabu hivyo hivyo...vinakwambia truth shall set you free...ni vema ujitue huo mzigo kuliko kuishi maisha ya kuwa mwoga forever...the guy will say it tuu....I can guarantee you, so deny him that chance and DO IT yourself kabla!

Mbu · Jun 7, 2008

Chief said:
Kwa kweli sielewi jinsi Mchongoma anavyoweza kuvumilia kuona mtoto analelewa na mtu mwingine...

By the way, naona akina baba wenye watoto wafanye DNA test za watoto wao especially kama hawafananani na baba zao.

...Chief, DNA ndio mwisho wa yote, hata mimi sijafanya DNA test kuthibitisha huyo mtoto ni wangu, lakini without a doubt, "circumstances" zinakubaliana kwa asilimia kubwa kuwa 'raha raha' ile ya siku ile, matokeo yake ndio huyo mtoto,

...na hata kama DNA test itani prove wrong, sitamlaumu 'Kisura' huyo kwa nafasi "alonitunuku" kuwa baba 'mshiriki' kwa huyo mtoto.

"Yeah, it can happen to you!"... haha aa..

Masanja · Jun 7, 2008

mchongoma said:
...Chief, DNA ndio mwisho wa yote, hata mimi sijafanya DNA test kuthibitisha huyo mtoto ni wangu, lakini without a doubt, "circumstances" zinakubaliana kwa asilimia kubwa kuwa 'raha raha' ile ya siku ile, matokeo yake ndio huyo mtoto,

...na hata kama DNA test itani prove wrong, sitamlaumu 'Kisura' huyo kwa nafasi "alonitunuku" kuwa baba 'mshiriki' kwa huyo mtoto.

"Yeah, it can happen to you!"... haha aa..

I just love that sentence..........hats off........my friend...

Chief · Jun 7, 2008

mchongoma said:
...
...na hata kama DNA test itani prove wrong, sitamlaumu 'Kisura' huyo kwa nafasi "alonitunuku" kuwa baba 'mshiriki' kwa huyo mtoto.

"Yeah, it can happen to you!"... haha aa..

Na watoto wako kwa shemeji yangu? How far are you certain kuwa ni WAKO?

Chief · Jun 7, 2008

Kithuku said:
Hali kama hii ilimpata mama mmoja aliyekuwa mheshimiwa serikalini, na mume alipojua ndoa ilisambaratika vibaya, hata yule mama alipofariki mume alikataa katakata kumzika kwake (kwa mume, kwa mujibu wa mila zao). Ikabidi azikwe parokiani. Umesoma mengi hapa, najua umetafakari sana, lakini angalia na historia pia.

Another side of the coin, ninamfahamu jamaa mmoja ambaye walikorofishana na mkewe kipindi cha nyuma wakatengana kama mwaka mmoja hivi. Kuja kurudiana mwanamke tayari ana mimba ingine lakini yule jamaa akakubali kulea mimba na mtoto aliyezaliwa baada ya hapo, na wanaishi vuzuri tu.

Mbu · Jun 7, 2008

Chief said:
Na watoto wako kwa shemeji yangu? How far are you certain kuwa ni WAKO?

...mambo yalikuwa kuliko IVF mjomba, kama sio 'carbon copied' basi cloned to the bone!

Chief · Jun 7, 2008

mchongoma said:
...mambo yalikuwa kuliko IVF mjomba, kama sio 'carbon copied' basi cloned to the bone!

Lucky you. akina baba wengine wanaambiwa mtoto wako anafanana na babu wa bibi ya mama yake🙂 I dont know how does this nice lady explains this to her hubby!!

Msanii · Jun 7, 2008

Masanja said:
Hii thread inafunza sana.

Msanii, mimi nilikutana na mtu nikaambiwa ni dada yangu wakati nimeshafika UNIVERISTY MWAKA WA TATU! na tulikutania chuoni. Strange but true na mpaka leo tunaheshimiana na kupendana na kusaidiana pale inapobidi. Life is like that, yaliyopita si ndwele..... Wakati jamaa yangu nakumbuka..wakati wanamzika baba yao..ndo alijitokeza kijana wa miaka 30 kuja kudai haki yake ya urithi....for the first time..na mind you mdingi alikuwa anahudumia kama kawaida kwa siri..baba mlezi hajui..it was soooo sad..but again..we live in imperfect world...

Maindainda swala la kusema au kukaa kimya ni very disturbing. Itakuwaje mtoto akijua hata kama ameshakuwa mtu mzima? I can assure you SIR NI YA MTU MMOJA TUU SI YA WAWILI, na hata hapo ulipo huwezi kuwa na uhakika kama huyo jamaa uliyezaa naye hajawaambia wengine kwamba mtoto uliye naye ni wake? You never know. Angalia pande zote za shillingi. What Iam sure of, trust me, huyo mtoto wako atakuja jua tuu..hata kama hutamwambia wewe. Maana inawezekana kabisa, huyo jamaa yako akawa hata ameshawaambia wanafamilia wake..lakini wakawa wanakulia timing..And huwezi jua huyo mtoto atakuwa nani in the future? what if he becomes another Obama? Imean weigh vizuri..si rahisi mtu kumuacha mtoto wake eti ana save ndoa yako..akina Mchongoma na Abunuwasi ni akina Musa na Abrahamu of our times..ni wachache mno.

Naomba kukuuliza..huyo mtoto ana umri gani kwa sasa (hata kama huwezi taja umri exactly..kadiria)? kama bado ni mdogo..the earlier you do it the better. After all Iam sure hata wewe bado unalipa na the way you sound..you cant fail to take charge of your own life, if destiny so dictates.......so you can start a new chapter....you wont be the last or the first my dear...

What you did is bad, lakini wewe si wa kwanza wala wa mwisho...piga moyo konde...itakuwa mbaya zaidi kama mtoto akijua ameshakuwa mtu mzima....it may wreck the rest of your future na siku zako za duniani zikawa misery tupu...

Wengi wamequote vitabu vitakatifu..lakini..hivyo vitabu hivyo hivyo...vinakwambia truth shall set you free...ni vema ujitue huo mzigo kuliko kuishi maisha ya kuwa mwoga forever...the guy will say it tuu....I can guarantee you, so deny him that chance and DO IT yourself kabla!

Ila hao wanaokuja siku za matanga inatia shaka kidogo... labda mzee awe ameacha notice somewhere.....
Pole sana mkuu

wiseways · Jun 8, 2008

ABUNUWASI said:
Mama pole sana kwani napenda kukutia moyo uwe tu mkweli kwa mumeo. Mimi haya yalikuta miaka 18 iliyopita baada ya mamsapu wangu kufanya tendo kama lako na akazaa mtoto ambaye kwa kweli ni kijana mzuri sana na mwenye akili sana> Nimemsomesha na hata sasa yuko USA kwenye chuo kikuu huko. Hili pendo lilitokea baada ya mke wangu kunieleza ukweli na kunisihi sana nimfichie hii siri kama mwenzanke kwenye ndoa inayotambulika tulifanya hivyo and now the boy is 21 yrs old. Baadaye nilizunguza na Bilogical father wake kuhusu hili jambo na kuwa kijana anatumia sir yangu. Huyu bwana naye kanishukuru sana na kuniomba hata mtoto asiambiwe yaliyopita yasije yakamfanya akaumia roho. Hivyo kama mumeo ni mtu aliyekomaa kindoa naona hili halitakuwa jambo la ajaabu kwake na bila shaka atalipokea kwa moyo wa kutaka kukusaidia pia maana ni kitu ambacho uanakijutia hadi leo.

You must be very kind and wise.
You are a husband and a half!

Mbu · Jun 8, 2008

Maindainda said:
Mchongoma,
There is no right time for you to get that child or for that woman to come clean. Msahau endelea na maisha litakalotokea baadae kwa bahati mbaya utalijua huko mbele kwa mbele.

...Dah, kumradhi, nilikuwa distracted kidogo, sikusoma posting zako na msanii, nimewaelewa sana tu. Believe it or not, that is what i managed to convince myself, tatizo linakuja pale mama mtoto anapofanya mawasiliano, ndio hapo 'roho' inapoanza 'kupata ushungu wallah!'...

I bet on that line niloikuza -colored- red ndio msimamo wako pia. Mind you, to brush the 'dirt' under the carpet ipo siku nyumba itakuwa haikaliki kwa 'vikohozi, chafya na mafua', ...

Shukran Msanii kwa tafakuri zako,

Maindainda nawe Shukran saana kwa ushauri wako, we are on the same boat, 'ladha' ya mawimbi tu tofauti, wishing you all the LUCK in 'hiding that skeleton' in the closet.

Haika · Jun 10, 2008

I also hope that you know you are a child of god, nothing in this earth can destroy that.
Unless you choose.
read all the comments and then plunge into your decission whith a clear mind.
Knowing from experience, what consequence a wrong move might bring.
youare old enought.

all the best dear,
we are all human after all.

Maindainda · Jun 11, 2008

Hello,

Nilitoa habari yangu katika forum hii na kupata maoni mbalimbali kutoka kwenu wadau.

Napenda kuwashukuru wote mliochangia na kunishauri, kwa wale walionipa pole asante sana. Ni kama mtu aliyepata ajali vile kwa hiyo nakubali pole zenu na hata wale waliokuwa wakali kidogo.

Kwa sababu fulani sitaweza kuendelea kuchangia katika hii mada. Ila napenda kuwaeleza msimamo wangu baada ya kupata ushauri wenu.

Msimamo wangu hautokani na sababu hizi hapa chini:
-Kujiona mkosa sana;
-Kwa sababu mimi ni mwanamke;
-Nina woga wa maisha ya baadae;
-Ni selfish na sifikirii wengine, nk

Nimeamua kusema hili kwa sababu tu NAMPENDA MUME WANGU na siwezi kuendelea kumdanganya maisha yote, hivyo NITAMUELEZA ukweli. Hata hivyo nitatazama muda muafaka na nitazingatia ushauri wenu mliotoa wa jinsi ya kuendea jambo hili. Nitakapokuwa tayari, hapo tu ndio nitafanya hivyo na nitaheshimu uamuzi wake atakaoutoa. Sitazamii lolote, Mungu atanisaidia.

Siwezi kuahidi kama nitarudi kuwaeleza matokeo kutokana na mazingira, ila nitajaribu kama itawezekana. Nashauri muwe waangalifu katika maisha yenu, hasa katika mambo kama haya.

ASANTENI SANA.

BAK · Jun 11, 2008

Maindainda said:
Hello,

Nilitoa habari yangu katika forum hii na kupata maoni mbalimbali kutoka kwenu wadau.

Napenda kuwashukuru wote mliochangia na kunishauri, kwa wale walionipa pole asante sana. Ni kama mtu aliyepata ajali vile kwa hiyo nakubali pole zenu na hata wale waliokuwa wakali kidogo.

Kwa sababu fulani sitaweza kuendelea kuchangia katika hii mada. Ila napenda kuwaeleza msimamo wangu baada ya kupata ushauri wenu.

Msimamo wangu hautokani na sababu hizi hapa chini:
-Kujiona mkosa sana;
-Kwa sababu mimi ni mwanamke;
-Nina woga wa maisha ya baadae;
-Ni selfish na sifikirii wengine, nk

Nimeamua kusema hili kwa sababu tu NAMPENDA MUME WANGU na siwezi kuendelea kumdanganya maisha yote, hivyo NITAMUELEZA ukweli. Hata hivyo nitatazama muda muafaka na nitazingatia ushauri wenu mliotoa wa jinsi ya kuendea jambo hili. Nitakapokuwa tayari, hapo tu ndio nitafanya hivyo na nitaheshimu uamuzi wake atakaoutoa. Sitazamii lolote, Mungu atanisaidia.

Siwezi kuahidi kama nitarudi kuwaeleza matokeo kutokana na mazingira, ila nitajaribu kama itawezekana. Nashauri muwe waangalifu katika maisha yenu, hasa katika mambo kama haya.

ASANTENI SANA.

Itakuwa vizuri utujulishe matokeo ya hili baada ya kumwambia mumeo maana itawasaidia wengine ambao wana majaribu kama haya au siku za usoni wanaweza kuwa katika situation kama yako.

Haika · Jun 11, 2008

Kwa uhakika umesema barabara.
I am sure you will live to tell how the decission has helped all of you at last.
i know it is not easy, but you have to do it before someone else does.
I am sure you know it is not easy, and i again wish you all the best

BornTown · Jun 11, 2008

Dada maindainda!

Nakupa pole sana cha msingi Muombe Mungu wako akusaidie kama uliweza kunyamaza kwa miaka 10 ukija sema sasa utaharibu ndoa yako cha kufanya kwanza huyo mwanaume ulietembea nae nje ya ndoa yeye ana mji wake so mkae chini muonge mmalizane asije kuharibia nyumba yako tayari ulisha teleza jitahidi ujishikilie hapo ulipo usije anguka maana hutopata wakuja kukuinua punde utakapo anguka.

Pili wewe ndio unamjua vizuri (kiundani zaidi) mumeo unajua tabia yake ikoje, hasira zake zikoje na familia yao kiujumla ikoje maana wanaume wengine wanapelekeshwa na familia zao utakuta baba yuko control na familia yake( wazazi, kaka & dada zake) kama yeye unaona yuko tayari kukusamehe na familia haiwezi kuingilia umwmbie, ukiona maji yamezidi nenda kanisani kama ww ni mkristo kaombe ushauri kwa Mchungaji or Padri hata Askofu pia or kma wewe ni muislamu basi kaombe ushauri kwa Shekhe, Imam nao watakupa ushauri.
Najua dhamira inakusuta kwa yote ulio yafanya elewa wanaume huwa wanabadilika kama vinyonga leo atajifanya anakupenda na amekusamehe ila atakuja kukugeuzia kibao cku moja kama hakuwa na tabia yakuchelewa kurudi hapo itaanza nae kama alikuwa anaficha nyumba zake ndogo atakuonyesha na ukilalamika utambulia kipigo na matusi juu.
Wanaume wafanye wao hayo mambo wataomba msamaha hadi kwa wakwe zao ila afanye mwanamke chamoto atakipata kuna msemo unasema "Kufanya afanye yeye ukifanya wewe kosa"
Ushauri wangu binafsi sikushauri umwambie ulisha amua kumeza pini basi hata ikikuchoma vumilia hadi mwisho itakapo pata kutu na kuoza.

Azimio Jipya · Jun 11, 2008

Maindainda said:
Hello,

Nilitoa habari yangu katika forum hii na kupata maoni mbalimbali kutoka kwenu wadau.

Napenda kuwashukuru wote mliochangia na kunishauri, kwa wale walionipa pole asante sana. Ni kama mtu aliyepata ajali vile kwa hiyo nakubali pole zenu na hata wale waliokuwa wakali kidogo.

Kwa sababu fulani sitaweza kuendelea kuchangia katika hii mada. Ila napenda kuwaeleza msimamo wangu baada ya kupata ushauri wenu.

Msimamo wangu hautokani na sababu hizi hapa chini:
-Kujiona mkosa sana;
-Kwa sababu mimi ni mwanamke;
-Nina woga wa maisha ya baadae;
-Ni selfish na sifikirii wengine, nk

Nimeamua kusema hili kwa sababu tu NAMPENDA MUME WANGU na siwezi kuendelea kumdanganya maisha yote, hivyo NITAMUELEZA ukweli. Hata hivyo nitatazama muda muafaka na nitazingatia ushauri wenu mliotoa wa jinsi ya kuendea jambo hili. Nitakapokuwa tayari, hapo tu ndio nitafanya hivyo na nitaheshimu uamuzi wake atakaoutoa. Sitazamii lolote, Mungu atanisaidia.

Siwezi kuahidi kama nitarudi kuwaeleza matokeo kutokana na mazingira, ila nitajaribu kama itawezekana. Nashauri muwe waangalifu katika maisha yenu, hasa katika mambo kama haya.

ASANTENI SANA.

Hi Mainda.

This seem an up twist!

but anway incase of anything..good frieds... r here dont you think of coming back for the replay?

In any form and shape it was good to blog with you!

Mbu · Jun 11, 2008

Bubu ataka kusema said:
Itakuwa vizuri utujulishe matokeo ya hili baada ya kumwambia mumeo maana itawasaidia wengine ambao wana majaribu kama haya au siku za usoni wanaweza kuwa katika situation kama yako.

...duh, ha ha haa..Bubu nawe hasa mshabiki, loh!

Dont underestimate JF opinions, ...akija sema mumewe kamsamehe kuna wataomhukumu kuwa Mume Bwege, kama sio dada kumlisha mumewe 'kipapai!'!

Dada Maindainda, iwe siri yako hiyo na mumeo, wasikia sana? ...siri sirini mtavyooongea na kukubaliana, wala huyo mzazio usimwambie kilichojiri, labda kama mumeo kakusudia kumtoa roho ili akimbie mji!

Chief · Jun 11, 2008

Maindainda said:
Hello,

Nimeamua kusema hili kwa sababu tu NAMPENDA MUME WANGU na siwezi kuendelea kumdanganya maisha yote, hivyo NITAMUELEZA ukweli. Hata hivyo nitatazama muda muafaka na nitazingatia ushauri wenu mliotoa wa jinsi ya kuendea jambo hili. Nitakapokuwa tayari, hapo tu ndio nitafanya hivyo na nitaheshimu uamuzi wake atakaoutoa. Sitazamii lolote, Mungu atanisaidia.

ASANTENI SANA.

John 8:31-32 ".... and the truth will make you free."

SUPER!!!! Maindainda, I'm with you 101% on this. You're a great woman, notwithstanding what happened. May God be with you on this.

Mtoto wa nje ya ndoa

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