Mdahalo: Kids Vs Spouses

[Nyani Ngabu]

Mh!Yana ukweli haya?Kwetu wanaume hapa kuna ugumu wa kutosha!

Sijakuelewa.

 

[The Boss]

Halafu hii 'Unconditional Love' ndio ipi hiyo?????????

mimi navyojua love zote zinakuja kwa conditions......

kwa mke utataka awe muaminifu kwako,akuheshimu na kadhalika...

kwa watoto utataka wakusikilize,wawe na heshima na adabu,wafuate ushauri wako na kadhalika....

mpaka leo sijawahi kukutana na 'Uconditional love'......
au labda siielewi??????????

 

[Kbd]

Hahaha!!! Mbu well i am not saying we are perfect and it's not that easy to find someone perfect but (hapa kwa wasio wakristu mtaniwia radhi) It is not a matter of "priority" as much as it is a matter of living biblically. When we live biblically, I don't see where these responsibilities really conflict. As I have said, the best thing a father can do for the children is love the mother biblically, as Christ loved the church. The best thing a husband can do for his wife his love her biblically and love the children biblically. I simply do not see the conflict that everyone else sees. And the best thing a father can do for his family is have them actively involved in the body of Christ, which will be around long after all these little piddly things like earthly families and teen conflicts are gone.

Unatumia juisi gani aiseee!!! I owe you one.

 

[Nyani Ngabu]

Halafu hii 'Unconditional Love' ndio ipi hiyo?????????

mimi navyojua love zote zinakuja kwa conditions......

Ni msemo tu huo Boss na usiuchukulie literally. Kwa uelewa wangu ni msemo ambao unasisitiza upendo wa dhati.

 

[Mbu]

Hahaha!!! Mbu well i am not saying we are perfect and it's not that easy to find someone perfect but (hapa kwa wasio wakristu mtaniwia radhi) It is not a matter of "priority" as much as it is a matter of living biblically. When we live biblically, I don't see where these responsibilities really conflict. As I have said, the best thing a father can do for the children is love the mother biblically, as Christ loved the church. The best thing a husband can do for his wife his love her biblically and love the children biblically. I simply do not see the conflict that everyone else sees. And the best thing a father can do for his family is have them actively involved in the body of Christ, which will be around long after all these little piddly things like earthly families and teen conflicts are gone.

...lol, wewe mchungaji siku hizi, khaa! haxa bana, nitarudi bdae..sredi siifaidi hii via mobile x

 

[Caroline Danzi]

Whaaaaaaaaaaat?????

Nina mama yangu mdogo after 10yrs of marriage baba mdogo alimtariki kwa kutozaa, ki ukweli baba mdogo alioa mwingine akazaa. sasa unaposema kwamba eti mke au mume ni zaidi wakati kilichomtoa mama yangu kwenye ndoa ni kukosa uzazi nini maana yake? Ni kwamba bond kubwa ya familia ni watoto siyo mnavyofikiri nyie. Mke/mume kia mtu ana haki ya kuwapenda kadri ya uwezo wenu.

Mke/Mume si ndugu hata siku moja, products zenu ni watoto ndiyo maana mnapozaa kila mtu anapunguza upendo kwa mwenzio na kuhamishia kwa watoto.

Tuombe Mungu atubadilishe!

 

[Bishanga]

Halafu hii 'Unconditional Love' ndio ipi hiyo?????????

mimi navyojua love zote zinakuja kwa conditions......

kwa mke utataka awe muaminifu kwako,akuheshimu na kadhalika...

kwa watoto utataka wakusikilize,wawe na heshima na adabu,wafuate ushauri wako na kadhalika....

mpaka leo sijawahi kukutana na 'Uconditional love'......
au labda siielewi??????????

The Boss ,so called love ina kuchorana sana,ukitaka kujua angalia wale ambao kwenye utoto wanajitia eti wanawapenda sana wazazi wao subiria wazazi wakiingia uzeeni wanapoanza lugha za...ah dingi nae...hapo mzazi unaipata fresh hasa ukifikiria ulivyosota ili kuwaandalia maisha bora.

 

[The Boss]

Ni msemo tu huo Boss na usiuchukulie literally. Kwa uelewa wangu ni msemo ambao unasisitiza upendo wa dhati.

nafahamu ni msemo tu
but huoni unatumika vibaya???

eti mapenzi kwa watoto wangu ni 'unconditional' while actually hakuna kitu kama hiko...

 

[Nyani Ngabu]

nafahamu ni msemo tu
but huoni unatumika vibaya???

eti mapenzi kwa watoto wangu ni 'unconditional' while actually hakuna kitu kama hiko...

Mbona ni misemo mingi tu inatumika vibaya Boss..... Ukiitafuta sana mantiki katika misemo ihusianayo na mapenzi na mahaba unaweza usiipate. Ndicho nilichojifunza hicho.

 

[The Finest]

...lol, wewe mchungaji siku hizi, khaa! haxa bana, nitarudi bdae..sredi siifaidi hii via mobile x

Haha!! Lol Mbu nasubiri unipe kitu valid otherwise i hope we are on the same page lol

 

[Maty]

Sawa Maty,

Ila ngoja tujifanye vichaa...kwamba umetekwa na majambazi na kuambiwa kuwa...lazima uchukue bunduki na kuua ama watoto wako au mumeo. Na huna option ya kujiua mwenyewe ili uwaokoe wao....Utaunyoosha mkono wako kuelekea wapi???

Kwangu mimi akija shetani wa namna hiyo....Nitamwomba anichukue mimi na la sivyo aniachie mke wangu.....!

Samahani sana kama nimetoka nje ya mada ila nasikitika sana kwani baadhi ya comments zimeniumiza!

Swali la mjadala huu hautafikia mahali tukaelewana humu ni sawa mnajadili kati ya kipa na kiungo nani wa muhimu kwenye timu!

Hata mimi nilikua naamini huu mjadala hautafika popote mpaka babu alipoandika hivi hapa chini

Binafsi naelewa kwamba kwa wanawake wengi, watoto ni primary na baba anaweza kuwa hayumo kwenye list yake labda mara moja moja ...tena kwa hisani ya watu wa Marekani!!

Ndiyo maana kule kwao Baba Enock (Bugene), zamani zile walikuwa wanatumia nguvu (including corporal punishment) kulazimisha wanawake waamini kuwa mwanamume ndiye mwenye nafasi ya kwanza! Waliamini kwamba kama mwanamke hatachapwa vibao baada ya kujifungua mtoto wake wa kwanza basi huyo hatapigwa maishani mwake!!...

Kwa hiyo motherhood instincts ambazo zinabebwa sana na hormones zinasababisha wanawake kuwa na bond kubwa na watoto wao!

Kwa kweli hapa babu kidogo ndio naanza kuelewa hii sredi maana nilikua naona kizunguzungu tu humu, kwa sie wakinamama mwenzangu watoto ndio no 1. Tunajikaza tu kusema tunawapenda wanaume zaidi.

Na hivi nyie kina babu kama mwawapenda sana wake zenu kwa nini huwa mnacheat? madai mwanaume haridhiki na mwanamke mmoja. Mbona hamsemi hamridhiki na watoto ambao ni wako tu?

 

[Kbd]

Nilitaka niweke na mie kamsimamo kangu kule lakini nikaona hili linahitaji mjadala unaojitegemea.

Kwangu mie wife comes first kwa kuwa:

1. Nilimpenda yeye hata kabla hatujapata watoto
2. Tusingejaliwa kupata mtoto nisingekuwa na option, angebakia kuwa yeye
3. Yeye ndiye aliyenizalia hao watoto ambao wengine ndo wanasema "wanawapenda zaidi ya mama zao
4. Ndiye chaguo langu la ukweli, sina uhakika kama hao watoto ni damu yangu kiukweli
5. Ndiye msaada wangu mkuu napokuwa matatizoni, nikiugua anavyo nihangaikia, nyie acheni tu!
6. Nikirudi nimepiga maulabu yangu, ananifungulia mlango na kunitengea chakula bila kinyongo
7. Anahakikisha niko nadhifu,
8. Napokuwa nimechacha ananielewa na kunivumilia
9. Alikubali kwa hiyari yake kuyapiga kibuti midume yooooote iliyokuwa inamsarandia akaja kwangu tena kwa kiapo kuishi nami katika shida na raha mpaka Ziraili atakapoamua kufanya vitu vyake.


Msimamo wangu:
Raha kwa watoto ni kuwaona wazazi wakipendana na kisha wao wazazi kwa pamoja kuwapenda watoto.

Baada ya kusema hayo naomba kusikia na wengine wanasemaje.

Niko kitandani huku, nawaangalia tu.
Onyo: Hairuhusiwi kuchakachua.
Refarii wa Sredi: PAW.

Shikamoo babu!!
Hapa leo nitakuwa msomaji zaidi na mngongaji "likes" kwa sana............. maana sina vyote viwili
Kwa maelezo yako hapo juu.......natamani kuliona tabasamu la bibi baada ya kusoma hiyo dedication..........nahisi atajisikia ni mwanamke mwenye bahati duniani.

 

[The Finest]

Mbona ni misemo mingi tu inatumika vibaya Boss..... Ukiitafuta sana mantiki katika misemo ihusianayo na mapenzi na mahaba unaweza usiipate. Ndicho nilichojifunza hicho.

Word!!

 

[Chauro]

Caroline Danzi .................Maisha ni ya ajabu hata ujitahidi kiasi gani kufanya kile unachofikiri ni chema kuna upande wa pili utapokea mingumu na miereka ya ajabu halafu kule kulikokuwa kunaendana na nafsi yako nako kunapelekwa kwingine naye huko anapokea mateke na miereka balaaaaaa Mungu wa ajabu sana na maajabu hayatakaa yaishe ndio maana kila siku ni shule.

Nina mama yangu mdogo after 10yrs of marriage baba mdogo alimtariki kwa kutozaa, ki ukweli baba mdogo alioa mwingine akazaa. sasa unaposema kwamba eti mke au mume ni zaidi wakati kilichomtoa mama yangu kwenye ndoa ni kukosa uzazi nini maana yake? Ni kwamba bond kubwa ya familia ni watoto siyo mnavyofikiri nyie. Mke/mume kia mtu ana haki ya kuwapenda kadri ya uwezo wenu.

Mke/Mume si ndugu hata siku moja, products zenu ni watoto ndiyo maana mnapozaa kila mtu anapunguza upendo kwa mwenzio na kuhamishia kwa watoto.

Tuombe Mungu atubadilishe!

 

[TIMING]

At least we can start afresh...... labda kitaeleweka aisee.

yeah right

what is love??? and how can we differentiate it from lust, flirt, intimacy etc?

 

[Chauro]

Maty hujawahi sikia/ona mwanamama anaua au anawauumiza watoto wake psychological /physical sababu tu ya mapenzi anayokosa toka kwa mume.

na hapo chini sema kwanini watu wanacheat naona umekuwa bias kidogo..........babu hii thread inaweza ikakufanya ukabwabaja ovyo

Hata mimi nilikua naamini huu mjadala hautafika popote mpaka babu alipoandika hivi hapa chini



Kwa kweli hapa babu kidogo ndio naanza kuelewa hii sredi maana nilikua naona kizunguzungu tu humu, kwa sie wakinamama mwenzangu watoto ndio no 1. Tunajikaza tu kusema tunawapenda wanaume zaidi.

Na hivi nyie kina babu kama mwawapenda sana wake zenu kwa nini huwa mnacheat? madai mwanaume haridhiki na mwanamke mmoja. Mbona hamsemi hamridhiki na watoto ambao ni wako tu?

 

[nyumba kubwa]

Nilikuwa na kaka yangu (may his soul RIP) alikuwa ni kipenzi cha baba; unajua kipenzi wewe?? Baba alikuwa anatupenda wote lakini huyo kaka was like his best friend.

What happened ni kuwa baba ali mspoil huyu kaka. Mama alikuwa anagombana saana na baba kuhusu jinsi anavyomlea huyu kaka.

Yani ilifika kipindi walikuwa wanaenda wote bar; na tulikuwa tunajua anawajua mpaka mabibi wa baba.

Hiyo ilimtia jeuri sana na akawa hasomi; yeye kazi yake ni kuendesha magari na kubadili wasichana.

Mwisho wa siku alijiingiza kwenye makundi ya wavuta bangi; by then baba na mama walikuwa wameshahachana.

Baba alipoona kuwa kaka sasa ashikiki akamtimua nyumbani; and guess what??

Alihamia kwa mama na ndiko alipofia.

What I wanted to show you ni kuwa baba anampenda mtoto (kama ulivyosema wewe) akiwa anamheshimu na kufanya anayotaka.

Mama anampenda mtoto no matter what. Mama yetu alikuwa hataki mtu yeyote aongelee negatively kuhusu kaka yetu baada ya kaka kupoteza mwelekeo; alikuwa anaumia sana tukiendelea kupigilia msumari hence tukiwa na mama tuliepuka kumwongelea vibaya kaka yetu.

nafahamu ni msemo tu
but huoni unatumika vibaya???

eti mapenzi kwa watoto wangu ni 'unconditional' while actually hakuna kitu kama hiko...

 

[Dark City]

Hata mimi nilikua naamini huu mjadala hautafika popote mpaka babu alipoandika hivi hapa chini



Kwa kweli hapa babu kidogo ndio naanza kuelewa hii sredi maana nilikua naona kizunguzungu tu humu, kwa sie wakinamama mwenzangu watoto ndio no 1. Tunajikaza tu kusema tunawapenda wanaume zaidi.

Na hivi nyie kina babu kama mwawapenda sana wake zenu kwa nini huwa mnacheat? madai mwanaume haridhiki na mwanamke mmoja. Mbona hamsemi hamridhiki na watoto ambao ni wako tu?

Maty,

Hilo swali siwezi kujibu hata nikijidai kwamba nimelielewa....Kuridhika na watoto wangu ndo nini??? Nilisema huko nyuma kwamba nikipata nafasi siku moja nitajaribu kufafanua tofauti kati ya upendo kwa mke na ule upendo kwa mtoto......Ila babu yangu mzaa bibi alikuwa anasema kwamba...hakuna upendo kwa mke kama hakuna tendo la ndoa....Nitajaribu kuwauliza wazee wenzangu wanifafanulie zaidi...

Hata hivyo watoto tunawapenda sana na si kwa sababu wana kitu cha kutoa, bali kwa sababu mtu anahisi ni kama amewachomoa kutoka kwenye sehemu mojawapo ya mwili wake...Ndio maana wengi wetu tunakubali hali, na kuelea watoto wetu wote bila kuchunguza chunguza kama tumepigwa changa la macho au la (no DNA test!!)!!

Suala la kucheat ni jambo jingine kabisa...Halina uhusiano wowote na upendo! Kwa maoni yangu, infii ni uchizi na usanii tu!

 

[The Boss]

Nilikuwa na kaka yangu (may his soul RIP) alikuwa ni kipenzi cha baba; unajua kipenzi wewe?? Baba alikuwa anatupenda wote lakini huyo kaka was like his best friend.

What happened ni kuwa baba ali mspoil huyu kaka. Mama alikuwa anagombana saana na baba kuhusu jinsi anavyomlea huyu kaka.

Yani ilifika kipindi walikuwa wanaenda wote bar; na tulikuwa tunajua anawajua mpaka mabibi wa baba.

Hiyo ilimtia jeuri sana na akawa hasomi; yeye kazi yake ni kuendesha magari na kubadili wasichana.

Mwisho wa siku alijiingiza kwenye makundi ya wavuta bangi; by then baba na mama walikuwa wameshahachana.

Baba alipoona kuwa kaka sasa ashikiki akamtimua nyumbani; and guess what??

Alihamia kwa mama na ndiko alipofia.

What I wanted to show you ni kuwa baba anampenda mtoto (kama ulivyosema wewe) akiwa anamheshimu na kufanya anayotaka.

Mama anampenda mtoto no matter what. Mama yetu alikuwa hataki mtu yeyote aongelee negatively kuhusu kaka yetu baada ya kaka kupoteza mwelekeo; alikuwa anaumia sana tukiendelea kupigilia msumari hence tukiwa na mama tuliepuka kumwongelea vibaya kaka yetu.

kwa hiyo wamama ndio wenye 'uncondional love' kwa watoto?
je na wamama wanaofukuza watoto 'wakiharibikiwa' ??

 

[Maty]

Nilikuwa na kaka yangu (may his soul RIP) alikuwa ni kipenzi cha baba; unajua kipenzi wewe?? Baba alikuwa anatupenda wote lakini huyo kaka was like his best friend.

What happened ni kuwa baba ali mspoil huyu kaka. Mama alikuwa anagombana saana na baba kuhusu jinsi anavyomlea huyu kaka.

Yani ilifika kipindi walikuwa wanaenda wote bar; na tulikuwa tunajua anawajua mpaka mabibi wa baba.

Hiyo ilimtia jeuri sana na akawa hasomi; yeye kazi yake ni kuendesha magari na kubadili wasichana.

Mwisho wa siku alijiingiza kwenye makundi ya wavuta bangi; by then baba na mama walikuwa wameshahachana.

Baba alipoona kuwa kaka sasa ashikiki akamtimua nyumbani; and guess what??

Alihamia kwa mama na ndiko alipofia.

What I wanted to show you ni kuwa baba anampenda mtoto (kama ulivyosema wewe) akiwa anamheshimu na kufanya anayotaka.

Mama anampenda mtoto no matter what. Mama yetu alikuwa hataki mtu yeyote aongelee negatively kuhusu kaka yetu baada ya kaka kupoteza mwelekeo; alikuwa anaumia sana tukiendelea kupigilia msumari hence tukiwa na mama tuliepuka kumwongelea vibaya kaka yetu.

Na wamama wengi ndivyo walivyo ukitaka gombana nae basi mseme mtoto wake hasa wa kiume mwenye tabia mbaya hapo hapo mnakosana. Hata kama mtoto ni mvuta bangi na inajulikana hakyanani anaweza kukwambia kalogwa mwe!