JF Chit-Chats
General Chat, Talk about anything that falls under no category on the board, but remember FOLLOW THE RULES!
Kuna jamaa alikuwa mlevi kupindukia sasa akabidi mke wake na ndugu zake wampeleke kwa nabiii mwingira ombewe aache pombe, sasa wakati akiombewa, Mchungaji "pepo wa pombe toka , pepo wa ulevi toka...
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Chizi kaenda kwa mganga kamwambia nimerogwa naomba nitibie.
Mganga akamwambia niletee sisimizi kipofu, Samaki mwenye mimba na jogoo yatima. CHIZI akamjibu, unaonaje nikuletee na kenge hanisi na...
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KARIBU MIKUMI NATIONAL PARK
HOTEL MOROGORO :
MENU YETU YA LEO :
UGALI CHUI 1700/=
NDIZI CHATU 1500/=
CHIPS NUNGUNUNGU 2600/=
FISI MCHEMSHO 3000/=
SIMBA CHOMA 4500/=
MAKONGORO YA TEMBO...
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Tabia ya ubishi uliokithiri ni -ukurunzinza
Umemtongoza binti hataki unamng'ang'ania akubali ni- ukurunzinza
Muda wa kustaafu hutaki kuachia kiti ni- ukurunzinza
Umepigwa kibuti bado...
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Narud nyumban taaaa! kukuta mke wang yuko na mwanaume mwingne nikasema haaa!, atakaekuelewa ninan akat uko na mwanaume mwingne, iv ni mwingne eee! nkamwuliza mke wang, ameenda sawa,nkamuulza jamaa...
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Napenda kuwaeleza nijinsi gani simu yangu inatunza charger. Kwa Msimu huu wa mvua na kaubaridi kwa mbali smart phone yaangu imekuewa ikitunza charger kwa muda mrefu tofauti na wakati wa Jua...
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mara kadhaa nimekuwa nikibishana na mdogo wangu kuhusu mtandao wa instagram,siku zote amekuwa akinishawishi nijiunge ila nimekuwa namkatalia kwa kumwambia kwamba hakuna mtandao bora wa kijamii...
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teja mmoja alikuw akipita mitaa fulani akakutana na mzungu mazungumzo yao yalikuwa hivi;
TEJA;how are you?
MZUNGU;how are you too?
TEJA;how are you three?
MZUNGU;what for...
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KWA UFUPI
Tamati hapa nafika, wahairi nijibuni,
Nipate kupumzika, ndoa yangu kuthamini,
Natamani kuachika, ila watoto jamani,
Dawa ya wivu ni nini? Nijibuni wahisani
Mhariri langu...
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Habari za siku nyingi wadau. Nimewamisije? Nipo mwenzenu mishemishe ndio nyingi. Si mnajua tena majukumu yakiongezeka na muda wa umbea unapungua.
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Jamaa alikua anaumwa jino ambalo ushauri ni kuling'oa.
Wakati wa nyuma jino moja liling'olewa kwa shilingi 1, na mke wa jamaa aliwahi kung'olewa jino kwa bei hiyo ya shilingi 1.
Baada ya jamaa...
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Jamaa mmoja aliyekuwa ameng'oka meno kadhaa alishauriwa na rafiki yake kuwa akienda zahanati fulani ya meno basi ataweza kuwekewa meno mengine, na ndipo siku moja akaamua kwenda kwenye hiyo...
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Wakuu
Nadhani hata wewe utakuwa umejiuliza hili swali mara nyingi mno "kwanini waganga wengi wa kienyeji sio wachagga" yaani ni vigumu kusikia Dk.massawe anatibu mvuto wa mapenzi biashara sijui...
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wakuu hama kweli duniani kuna mambo,hii imetokea leo mchana hapa dar, leo niliingia kwenye mgahawa moja maeneo ya mnazi moja nikaagiza ugali na samaki, mara akaingia jamaa moja yupo smart sana...
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KAMA UNABISHA JARIBU
1: Huwezi kuweka sabuni kwenye macho.
2: Huwezi kuhesabu nywele za kichwani.
3: Huwezi kupumulia PUA wakati ULIMI uko nje.
4: Najua umejaribu hilo la 3.
5: Umeonekana km...
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Alikua kajificha kwenye makochi.Dai noma sana
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Jamaa mmoja alimpigia rafiki yake simu ilhali hajui lugha ya kiswahili.
JAMAA:HELLO!
RAFIKI:HELLO.
JAMAA:Ni Salimu tu.
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Tanzanian are very romantic.
In US: This is my lovely wife.
In Britain: This is my lovely queen.
In Tz: huyu ndo mama watoto!
WISHES.
When going to work, wife says
In US: have fun at work honey...
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