Kwa hiyo tukioana alafu uninyime nitakufanya nini? Au mimi nikikunyima utafanya nini?
Inakua haki yako kivipi? Mi naona ni zawadi ya kupeana mkiamua.
Na it is so obvious to me hata nakosa argument za kujieleza hapa... lol
1 Corinthians 7:3-5
3 The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. 5 Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
Haya, nasubiri... Ila kumbuka vitabu vya neno la Mungu viliandikwa na wanadamu na vimetafsiriwa mara nyingi sana kwa hiyo vinaweza kutufikishia ujumbe tofauti... but haya tunaweza kuongea katika mada ingine nisije pigwa mawe humu.Actually upo mstari wa biblia unaoongelea hilo swala na niliwahi kuunukuu humu humu, ngoja nikutafutie.
Nimekuelewa, nadhani umenielewa pia...Kuhusu kwanini watu wanyimane, watu wana visa vya kila aina aisee.Vingine vya kibinafsi na vingine vinavyoeleweka.
Vyote hivyo vinachangia. Pia kuna pressure toka kwa watu ya kwamba anatakiwa kufaulu kwa namna yote. alafu kuna mfano wa watu walio faulu kwa njia hiyo. Na ya mwisho kabisa kuna tabia ya muhusika (nikisema muhusika katika jibu hili namaanisha anae toa).1. Mtu anapoanza kuhonga mwili wake ili afanyiwe kazi yake (kusoma, kuwa na CV kali, good work ethics, experience n.k) kwanini anafanya hivyo?Ni kutojiamini (mwenyewe siwezi) au ni kuzungukwa na watu wasio na imani nae (wazazi, ndugu na jamaa wasioisha kumwambia hatofika popote)???
2.Je kuna hatari gani mtu kutegemea mwili wake badala ya akili na uwezo unaohitajika kupata kazi,kufaulu n.k
Sometimes anaweza, sometimes hawezi. Kuna ambao wanajua kua wanatumia miili yao vibaya ila sababu ni wavivu wa kujaribu njia zingine wanaendelea tu. Ila baadae wanaweza kuwalea watoto na kuwatahadhari na hatari hizo, huku wakihakikisha watoto hawana ule uvivu anao yeye. Kwa mpokeaji pia inaweza kua same.3.Mtu kama huyu akija kuwa mzazi atakuwaje?Ataweza kumfundisha mtoto wake kuwa tofauti na alivyo yeye?
Maadili mama... siku hizi wazazi hawaongei na watoto. Primacy ni ujuzi wa shule wakati kuna mila, utamaduni, UTU... hivyo vyote hatuvisumulii na wazazi, hatuvisumulii na watoto, tusionekani anti progressist... Hata zile hadithi za sungura mjanja hakuna tena, tunaangalia ma cartoon na mengineyo. mzazi hata hajui ni ujumbe gani TV inatoa, yuko busy na yeye anaangalia secreto de amore.4.Malezi yanachangia vipi kuwafanya ndugu zetu wawe hivyo?
Asante. Nimesha sema what I think of the 'scriptures'...1 Corinthians 7:3-5
3 The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. 5 Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
Nilisema kua ukiona watu wanaanza kunyimana maana yake kuna mengine mengi huko nyuma. dalili ya mvua ni mawingu.Unanipa talaka. Au ukininyima mimi naweza kukupa talaka. Kama mwanamume hana uwezo au hataki kutenda tendo la ndoa kutokana na kukosa nguvu za kumwezesha kufanya hivyo au basi tuu hataki tena kufanya tendo la ndoa na wewe, then unayo haki ya kisheria kuomba talaka.
Kwa maneno mengine, sheria inatoa fursa kwa mwanamke kuwasilisha maombi ya kubatilisha ndoa husika kwa sababu tu mume wake huyo hana uwezo wa kumwingilia kwa ajili ya kutimiliza tendo la ndoa au basi tuu hataki kufanya, jambo ambalo ni haki ya msingi (sio zawadi) miongoni mwa wanandoa.
Hapa haina maana kuwa mume ameshindwa kumridhisha mkewe, bali mume ameshindwa kabisa hata kuwa na hisia za kukutana na mkewe pindi mke anapohitaji. Kwa hiyo basi, tukioana usije kuomba talaka eti kisa nimeshindwa kukufikisha huko kileleni. Hapo patachimbika. LOL.
Haya, nasubiri... Ila kumbuka vitabu vya neno la Mungu viliandikwa na wanadamu na vimetafsiriwa mara nyingi sana kwa hiyo vinaweza kutufikishia ujumbe tofauti... but haya tunaweza kuongea katika mada ingine nisije pigwa mawe humu.
Nimekuelewa, nadhani umenielewa pia...
Kuhusu ngono inayo pewa kirushwa (in a way that you are trying to influence a person to do something that he would not have done otherwise) maoni yangu haya hapa:
Vyote hivyo vinachangia. Pia kuna pressure toka kwa watu ya kwamba anatakiwa kufaulu kwa namna yote. alafu kuna mfano wa watu walio faulu kwa njia hiyo. Na ya mwisho kabisa kuna tabia ya muhusika (nikisema muhusika katika jibu hili namaanisha anae toa).
- Hatari ya kwanza na ambayo inaonekana wazi ni kuambukizana magonjwa maana kuna wakati rushwa yenyewe inapewa pale tu inapo ombwa, bila wahusika kua tayari (kinga).
- Hatari nyingine ni kupewa cheo/cheti ambacho muhusika hastahili.
- Inamshushia mpokeaji credibility na kuharibu system nzima.
- In the long term ni bankrupt sababu mtaji wako (mwili wako) unapoteza thamani kwa biashara hiyo kadri unavo utumia na pia kadri miaka inavo pita.
- Unazidi kujishusha self esteem na confidence katika vipaji vyako vingine.
Sometimes anaweza, sometimes hawezi. Kuna ambao wanajua kua wanatumia miili yao vibaya ila sababu ni wavivu wa kujaribu njia zingine wanaendelea tu. Ila baadae wanaweza kuwalea watoto na kuwatahadhari na hatari hizo, huku wakihakikisha watoto hawana ule uvivu anao yeye. Kwa mpokeaji pia inaweza kua same.
Maadili mama... siku hizi wazazi hawaongei na watoto. Primacy ni ujuzi wa shule wakati kuna mila, utamaduni, UTU... hivyo vyote hatuvisumulii na wazazi, hatuvisumulii na watoto, tusionekani anti progressist... Hata zile hadithi za sungura mjanja hakuna tena, tunaangalia ma cartoon na mengineyo. mzazi hata hajui ni ujumbe gani TV inatoa, yuko busy na yeye anaangalia secreto de amore
Kuna wazazi wanawatuma watoto wao katika njia hizo pia. wazazi wanachangia sana tu.
Great minds always think alike... 🙂Hilo la mistari tuliache kama lilivyo Mwali!!
Huku kwingine nimekusoma na nnakubaliana nawe kwa 105%. Hopefully bado wapo wazazi wachache wanaojali malezi na makuzi ya watoto wao, otherwise next time tukisherehekea miaka mingine 50 ya uhuru tutakua tuasherehekea kudumaa zaidi kama taifa kwa ujumla.
Nilisema kua ukiona watu wanaanza kunyimana maana yake kuna mengine mengi huko nyuma. dalili ya mvua ni mawingu.
Great minds always think alike... 🙂
Kwa kweli nijipongeze leo... kwanza ndio mara ya kwanza naandika post ndefu kama hiyo, alafu ndio mara ya kwanza nakubaliwa 105% humu ndani... lol
Kila JF member anajua, haambiwi, hakosolewi! ukichangia huku unaambiwa yalisemwa in 2008 (mi sikiwepo). Ukichangia huku unaambiwa leta source, dah!
Asante sana Lizzy, leo nitalala kwa furaha! angekuwepo wa kupewa zawadi angepata leo, zawadi ya kusheherekea tu! lol
lol!pole sana humu watu wengine wamekaa kucrush crush tu ,usife moyo.Great minds always think alike... 🙂
Kwa kweli nijipongeze leo... kwanza ndio mara ya kwanza naandika post ndefu kama hiyo, alafu ndio mara ya kwanza nakubaliwa 105% humu ndani... lol
Kila JF member anajua, haambiwi, hakosolewi! ukichangia huku unaambiwa yalisemwa in 2008 (mi sikiwepo). Ukichangia huku unaambiwa leta source, dah!
Asante sana Lizzy, leo nitalala kwa furaha! angekuwepo wa kupewa zawadi angepata leo, zawadi ya kusheherekea tu! lol
No, I don't.Yea, lakini kuna tofauti kati ya kunyimana zawadi na kunyimana haki. Tofauti na zawadi, haki inalindwa na ikivunjwa muathirika has a remedy. Kwa hiyo maneno eti "nitampenda kwa raha na shida" yanaweza kuwa ni ya geresha tuu. Hakuna mtu anayetaka shida bwana. Do you?
Yea, lakini kuna tofauti kati ya kunyimana zawadi na kunyimana haki. Tofauti na zawadi, haki inalindwa na ikivunjwa muathirika has a remedy. Kwa hiyo maneno eti "nitampenda kwa raha na shida" yanaweza kuwa ni ya geresha tuu. Hakuna mtu anayetaka shida bwana. Do you?
mtu wangu km mtu hajisikii kukupa hiyo haki ya unyumba hata ukiichukua inakuwa haina mzuka kivile ,ni bora mrudi kwa baba paroko au shekh asaidie kuweka mambo sawa.Yea, lakini kuna tofauti kati ya kunyimana zawadi na kunyimana haki. Tofauti na zawadi, haki inalindwa na ikivunjwa muathirika has a remedy. Kwa hiyo maneno eti "nitampenda kwa raha na shida" yanaweza kuwa ni ya geresha tuu. Hakuna mtu anayetaka shida bwana. Do you?
No, I don't.
Kuna zawadi aina nyingi. Zipo ambazo zinakuja na ujumbe maalumu ambao unaulinda uhuisiano. na hapa kuna ambazo zinatolea mara moja tu (pete ya uchumba, pete ya ndoa, bouquet baada ya ku-do mara ya kwanza), alafu kuna ambazo zinatolea periodicaly (zawadi za aniversary, na mapenzi-naomba Lizzy anisamehe, naona uzito kidogo kutumia neno ngono kati ya wapendanao).
Zawadi za periodically zisipo tolewa zina ujumbe pia, ujumbe wa kua mapenzi yako hatarini, yamepungua au yamepotea. na hivo ni bora watu wajaribu kurekebisha, vikishindikana waachane.
Kwa hiyo kuto kutana na mpenzi wako sio sababu ya kuachana, ni external symptom ya kwamba hakuna tena haja ya kuendelea kukaa pamoja sababu watu hawapendani kiasi cha kupeana zawadi. sijui wewe unaonaje?
No, I don't.
Kuna zawadi aina nyingi. Zipo ambazo zinakuja na ujumbe maalumu ambao unaulinda uhuisiano. na hapa kuna ambazo zinatolea mara moja tu (pete ya uchumba, pete ya ndoa, bouquet baada ya ku-do mara ya kwanza), alafu kuna ambazo zinatolea periodicaly (zawadi za aniversary, na mapenzi-naomba Lizzy anisamehe, naona uzito kidogo kutumia neno ngono kati ya wapendanao).
Zawadi za periodically zisipo tolewa zina ujumbe pia, ujumbe wa kua mapenzi yako hatarini, yamepungua au yamepotea. na hivo ni bora watu wajaribu kurekebisha, vikishindikana waachane.
Kwa hiyo kuto kutana na mpenzi wako sio sababu ya kuachana, ni external symptom ya kwamba hakuna tena haja ya kuendelea kukaa pamoja sababu watu hawapendani kiasi cha kupeana zawadi. sijui wewe unaonaje?
EMT inabidi tufanye karesearch kujua kama hiyo "NA SHIDA" hua wanaitamka sawa na "KWA RAHA" maana wengi hiyo na shida ikitokea ndio mwanzo wa dharau na chuki.Yani watu wanageuka wanyama jumla.
maneno mazito sana haya na yanabusara zote na baraka za mwenyezi mungu.Kwa kweli kama tumeoana kufanya tendo la ndoa ni haki yangu na zio zawadi. Unaweza kulipamba hilo tendo la ndoa the way utakavyo but at the end of the day bado ni haki yangu tuu. Lazima unitimizie haki yangu ya ndoa. Zawadi is not an entitlement, lakini haki ni entitlement. Kuna watu hawajapata hata zawadi moja ya Kirismasi leo na hawana haki ya kuidai simply because it's not an entitlement.
So, bado sikubaliani na wewe kwenye issue ya zawadi. Kukataa kuitimiliza ndoa kunakuwa sababu ya kubatilisha ndoa ikiwa mwenye kukataa hana sababu yoyote ya msingi na mwenye kukataliwa ametumia kila mbinu kumshawishi aliyekataa lakini ikashindikana kufanya tendo la ndoa. Zawadi ni hiari ya mtu kutoa au kutotoa. Lakini haki ni entitlement whether unataka or not. Na hii dhana ya wanandoa kutafsiri tendo la ndoa kama zawadi linaweza kuwa linachangia kwa baadhi ya ndoa kuyumba. Kama mwanandoa analichukulia tendo la ndoa kama zawadi tuu, then it means anajaribu kuepuka wajibu wake kindoa.
I am aware that some married women think sex is a gift to their husbands. But if you (the wife) enjoys the sex as much as the husband does then it is more than a gift to both of you. But if you (the wife) don't enjoy the sex and only do it to please your husband, then in that case yes it is a gift. Umenipata hapo?
Kwa kweli kama tumeoana kufanya tendo la ndoa ni haki yangu na zio zawadi. Unaweza kulipamba hilo tendo la ndoa the way utakavyo but at the end of the day bado ni haki yangu tuu. Lazima unitimizie haki yangu ya ndoa. Zawadi is not an entitlement, lakini haki ni entitlement. Kuna watu hawajapata hata zawadi moja ya Kirismasi leo na hawana haki ya kuidai simply because it's not an entitlement.
So, bado sikubaliani na wewe kwenye issue ya zawadi. Kukataa kuitimiliza ndoa kunakuwa sababu ya kubatilisha ndoa ikiwa mwenye kukataa hana sababu yoyote ya msingi na mwenye kukataliwa ametumia kila mbinu kumshawishi aliyekataa lakini ikashindikana kufanya tendo la ndoa. Zawadi ni hiari ya mtu kutoa au kutotoa. Lakini haki ni entitlement whether unataka or not. Na hii dhana ya wanandoa kutafsiri tendo la ndoa kama zawadi linaweza kuwa linachangia kwa baadhi ya ndoa kuyumba. Kama mwanandoa analichukulia tendo la ndoa kama zawadi tuu, then it means anajaribu kuepuka wajibu wake kindoa.
I am aware that some married women think sex is a gift to their husbands. But if you (the wife) enjoys the sex as much as the husband does then it is more than a gift to both of you. But if you (the wife) don't enjoy the sex and only do it to please your husband, then in that case yes it is a gift. Umenipata hapo?
Lazima kuanzisha kama ukiwa na nia ya kutoa, for there is greater pleasure in giving than in receiving (act 20:35, na Corinthian 9:7... Lizzy, utamu wa bibilia ni kuweza kuitafsiri uielewavyo, au sio?)