Maisha yana mafunzo mengi sanaaa. It took me almost 3 years to figure out my mistakes. 3 years ndugu msomaji. Afu ndugu msomaji usitumie kiti chako cha ndugu msomaji kujiona you could have done better. Huu kama mpiraaa ukiwa nje unauona mpira kila kona, ingia ndani ndo utashangaa dakika 90 mpira huooni. Nyama nyie.
ukweli mi sina mengi ya kusema sana sana labda Dee alinilogaaaa? Na aliniloga sio kwa uchawi wa nchi kavu lazima alinilogea baharini. Haiwezekaniii. Si hivi hivi. Alivonitumia tu ile picha ya chupi ya Sally ndo aliunganisha na majini yake ya 4G nawaambia wasomaji. Ni kama alinizima switch vile. Nikawa sijitambuii sijitambuiii mpaka leo hii after 3 years. Imagine. Nazinduka nishafanya maamuzi mngi ya kipimbi.
Wengi wetu tuliooa ikiwemo nyinyi ndugu wasomaji sio wapenzi wa kuangalia mkanda wa harusi. Tena ukisikia mtu anakwambiia haioni ile DVD jua tu kaitia kiberitiii. Nawaambiaaa. Ni wachachewanaweza ku relieve the experience sababu utakutia hasiraaaa kupita maelezo. Unaweza jikuta umevunja 55 inch curved TV yakokwa kuitupia remote. Nawaaambia mimi. Unajiona ulivokuwa fala wa mwishoooo duniani.
First i married someone i dont know. Why i dont know either. Mwanamke tu nilitafutiwa na mama zangu, nilioneshwa picha tu imagine ndugu msomaji. Kweli mwanamke mzuriiii sanaa, wakanijaza, kabila lako sijui nini, nini na Dee kashaoa, nikaona kama na mimi nikioa nitakuwa nimemkomeshaaa Sally kisawa sawa,nikakubali sawa nitamuoa. Na mpaka harusi nilikutana nae mara 2 tu, tukaongea juu juu tu. Simjuiiii nikaamuakuwaamini mama zangu hawawezi kunipa kimeo. Kwanza wakanihakikishia mwanamke yule ni bikraaa, familia yao ina uwezo mkubwaa sanaa, wana maadili makubwa.
NikamsahauSally, pamoja na kunizalia na makila kitu, i was so obssesed with the fact kwamba kalala na Dee as if aliondoka nayo huyo Dee. Nilisahau mema 100 kwa kosa moja ndugu msomaji. Manake now natafakari vitu gani vibaya alivonifanyia sioni. I was bitter, could say inhuman towards her. Waliosema there a thin line between love and hate waliona mbali. Mtu ukimpenda sanaaa basi unamchukia sanaaa. Akawa ananikeraaa tu. Sijui kwanini. Akiniomba kuliko nimpe bora nikaitoe sadaka Mungu anibariki. She kept trying and trying kujishusha taking the high road and finally she stopped. Akaanza kuwa defencive. I was bullying her so much. Naweza kumfanyia tukio baaas tu.
The best part i enjoyed about my wedding is Sally watching it. Following. Usiombe uwe na wanawake mkosaneee afu uanze kuoa wewe. Utajitutumua uonekane una furaha kushinda dunia na galaxy zote zilizobakiii! Can you imagine pamoja na kutokumualika kote she still sent me text kama barua kunitakia maisha memaaa yenye furaha?
Mke nikaoaaa kwa gharama kubwa kubwa. Siku ya kuzindua nakuta sio bikra wala nini, nikasema anyway huyu ashakuwa mke kuanza kutangaza sio bikra nitajiaibishaa mwenyeweee. Bora nikae kimya tuuu. Maana kama dini hata mwanaume unatakiwa uwe bikra siku ya harusi yako, na mimi sio bikra hata wa kutafutwa na darubini. Sikumuulizaaa, maana angeniuliza umejuaje mimi sio bikra. Hapo mke wangu anajitia swala 5, na mimi ndo swala 7, tunashindana kuchana mswala.
Baada ya kuishi nae sasa ndo nikamjua, hakuna cha swala 5, swala tu ya Ijumaa ishuuu kwakeee, mpaka ninuneee ndo akatie sign Masjid na sina uhakika kama alikuwa ana swali au anatimiza wajibu wa kuonekana Masjid. Kwenye simu masaa 25, anakwambia ana chat na ndugu zake huko USA, na dunia nzima. Mi nakaa kimya tu, maana mke wa kupewa ukimgusaa tu mashtaka yamefika. Hana adabu si kwa mume si kwa mtu yoyote. Moods mda wote na hivi anashinda nyumbani.
Mke wangu nikawa simuelewi elewi, ana mambo flaniii ya ajabu ajabuuu. Mda mwingi anakuwa kama ana act, ukimviziaaa kuna vitu unaviona ambavo haviashiriii mambo mema. Sasa hatujuaniii, bado tunasomanaa. Wasi wasi ulivozidi, nikaamua kumfanyia back ground check. Si kasoma nje, kumpata ni rahisi. Nikaona online darasa alilomaliza shule yao, na aliosoma nao collage. Nikaanza kuwatafuta mmoja mmoja. List ya wote walio gradutae course yao ninayo.
Na create profile kwa jina la mtu wa humo humo darasani, ambae nishamuona FB yuko nchi ingine, na hana mawasiliano na wenzie, naiba picha zake naweka , afu natumia hio profile kumpeleleza mtu mwingine. Akiona profile anajua mwenzao inakuwa rahisi. Nikaanza upepelezi wangu.
Naanza kumwambia unamkumbuka Nasra, the Somli gal, in our class, i wanna marry her, what do you say. Namiminiwa ubuyu si wa nchi hii. In short what was common kwenye reply za watu wengi ni kwamba, Nasra alikuwa mleviiii, mleviii na anapenda kupigana miti balaaa. Kalala na karibia darasa zima. Sex maniac. Mmoja akasema nasikia kaolewa na another Somali guy, i pitty the guy, maybe cause he is in Africa hamjui Nasra. Niliumiaaa roho sanaaa.
Kweli huwezi kumfanyia mtu ubayaaa ukafika popote, malipo hapa hapa duniani. Nimemuacha Sally kwa kosa la kutembea na mwanaume mmoja ambae ni ex Bf, nimeoa mtu alielala na karibia darasa zimaa, kapigwa mpaka 3 some, mengine sitaki hata kuyaandika. What the fack have i done. Nilichanganyikiwaaa totally. Na nikajua hapa hapa bongo hana mda ashalala na watu kibaooo, walinzi, wasomali ndugu zangu yaani ana pepo.
Nikaenda kupima UKIMWI nikajikuta niko safi, Kutaka kumuacha nikaambiwa haondoki hivi hivi anaondoka na 50% ya mali zangu. Thubutuuuuuuuuuuuuuu! Nikasema sasa sikuachi na sio mke wangu. Kwanza sikutambui ila document sikupiiii. Na yeye alivogaidi hana pressure, anatumia jina langu kwa raha zake kwenye sociamedia zoteee, na anaendeleza umzilipozidie. Kama alitaka kuolewa kutoa nuksiii tu. Niliaibikaa nilidhalilika. Mpaka mume wa Eva akasema bora ungemsamehe tu Sally. Nilikuwa kama nimechanganyikiwa ndugu msomaji, nikawa katili kwa kila mtu, namuona kila mtu mbaya kwangu.
Hapo nisha harishia kambiii. Maugomvi nimemuungiza mpaka mtoto. Kulea mtoto wa nje kwa upendo na amani kwenye ndoa si rahisi. Automatically utajikuta unakuwa side ya mke bila kujua humtendei haki mtoto. Kesi zilipozidi sanaa mtoto nikawa sipewiii kabisaa. Na mwisho na haya mambo ya mke wangu nikawa simuamini kabisaaa kumpa mwanangu. Ikanilazimu tu kumtelekeza kwa mama yake najua atakuwa salama kule. Maana mtu ushamjua sio unamkabidhije mtoto wa kike.
Baada ya miseke seke hii na wife nikaanza kumkwepa Sally kabisaa! Like she will figure out i am not happy afu nikaaibika sio kwa kujishauaaa kuleee, yaani ukimchimbia mtu shimo usichimbe refu sanaa. Chimba fupi fupi maana unaweza kutumbukia mwenyewe.
Nikawa sitaki kabisaa kujua yuko wapi wala anafanya nini. Urafiki na Dee ukafa a natural death na wala kule sikuwa naenda sana. Ni nadra kunikita kule. Ila mpaka mwisho nikawa najua Sally hana mume, kachokaaa, biashara hana yupo kama mimi tu either way life facks us all. Maisha yasipokula kiboga kiuchumi lazima yakupige chuma mboga kimahusiano. Fanya ufanyavo kuliwa viboga kuko palepale.
Siku Maleeq akawa ananiambia Sally sahivi yuko vizuriii, ana this cool car sio ya pesa ndogo. Na kama unavomjua Sally she is living large, hajibaniii kabisaa. Mwanae mwenyewe kamrudisha IST. In short nilijua Maleeq was blaffing me! Kama mchezo wananichezea. Nikapuuzia tu.
Siku hio natoka getini kwangu nimeingia drive way, naiona mercedece benz convertible eboooo when the gods sees you si ya hela kidogo, nikasemamgari tamu sanaaa hii. Jicho lilintoka maana alini over take. Ghafla ikasimama, akashusha kioo. Ndo kumuona Huddaa! Hi Dad?
Nikawa jicho limenitokaaa, kmaninaaa huyu mwanamke kuna mtu ana mmbato na pesa alio nayo si ya kitoto, mbona nimekwishaaaa! Na niliomfanyiaaa asipobihamisha jiji hili sijuiii. Pumbu zilinishukaaa nikawa nazisikia kwenye break ya gari, koo lilinikaukaaa.
Nikamjibu mwanangu Hello my princess! Ananiambia Daddy you know we live near you, in this nice house i have my room upstairs, and mom says i can have all the dresses in the world, mom has money. Najitia waoooh moyoni nasema nile tu kiboga cha mawazo na kunipiga pipe ya akili mwanangu nitafanyaje na mama ako ashapata bonge la bwana.
Mama mtu akasalimia, Za masiku Hussein. Kanogaaa lile lace wig sijui shingi ngapi? Nachelewa kazini bwanaa, tumefurahi kukuona sana, sahivi tuko jirani tutakuwa tuna onana onana barabarani kama hivi. Wacha si twende. Nikaitikia tu sawa. Hao wakaniacha. Nilikufa ganzi. Raha ya X awe kachokaa kaishaaa. Sasa mambo gani haya.
Kwanza nikahisi kuna mkono wa Dee. Nikamfata face to face man to man haiwezekaniii anizunguke. Fool me once shame on me, full me twice shame on him. Nilimfata mbele ya mkewe na kumtuhumu kugeuka makubaliano. Tuliingia mkataba kwamba hakuna mi kumsaidia na hakuna Dee kumsaidia tumuone akiadhirika. Dee akasema hajawahi kumuomba msaada na mimi mara zote nimemkaanga kuheshimu mkataba wa berlin.
Dee akawa haelewi nazungmza nini. Nika amua kumshirikisha hali halisi. Hakuamini kabisaaa. Akasema atafatilia ila yeye hausiki. Nikamwambia ndo hivo mi nimejionea kwa macho yangu. Dee had this crazy idea kwamba nataka ukaribu na mwanangu, ili nimpeleleze.
Kumpata haikuwa kazi, nikaenda mchana, mwanangu ananijua akanikaribishaaa. Basi namuuliza do you hvae another father? Anasema but you are my father! Namwambia sio mimi dogo pay attention another uncle comming home, sleeping with mom! Anajibu uncle Maleeq never sleeps with mom! Namwamvia not Maleeq kiddo think kiddo think. Uncle Humphrey? Nikachoka kabisaaa.
Akaja akanikuta, akajitengenezea smoothy akanitengenezea na mimi, nikakumbuka back in the days nafugwaa. Kidogo machozi yanitokeee. Nikajaribu bahati, i just had to try. Nikamwambia mi navoona tulee tu mtoto wetu, lazima bianzie mbali, anaitkia ndiooo, ni !uhimu mtoto kulelewa na wazazi wote, anaitakia sawa kabisaaa. Sio vizuri kuwa leo analelewa na huyu kesho yule, anajibu haswaaa, nakubalinaa na wewe. Kila nachosema anajibu mmmh, sawa sawaaa, eeeeeeeh ndio kabisaaa. Ambayo baadae nikaja kugundua she was not serious alikuwa ana ni dhihaki tu. Yaani anaona hana hata hadhi ya kujibishama na mimi, ananikubalia niondoke. Kwani nitamfanya nini. Nikaaga, anaitikia kama kawaida ile utajiju babuuu! Uliitwa hapa.
Kesho nikaenda kulipa ada ya mwanangu nikakuta kalipa mwaka mzimaa. Nikalipa miaka mi 4 ijayo. Baas tu kumkomeshaa. Hakupiga hata simu kushukuru. Jeuri jeuri zake hizi mi ndo sizipendagiii kabisaaa.
Siku hio nikaenda mida ya saa moja, akabitolea uvivuuu, bwana wewe mume wa mtu na mkeo yupo jirani kabisaa. Sasa sitaki kesi mimi. Uje mchana mi sipo. Mambo ya usiku sitakiii. Kwanza mi mtu mzima na ratiba zangu. Nikauliza ratiba ganiiii? Akakaa kimya.
Usije kuwa unaingiza wanaume mtoto mkubwa huyu. Akaitikia eeh ndiooo,sawa kabisaa zile shihaka zake. Nikawa serious. Akasema Hussein nimechoka, nenda kwa mkeo mi sihitaji stress kabisaa! Zamu ya mkeo sasa. Na mimi nasisitiza niko serious! Akauliza hivi wakati nateseka na huyu mtoto mara zote 2 kama wa kuharibika angeshaharibika. Spare me the sentiments. Kukuacha umuone mwanao usinipande kichwani kabisaa. Just because sikuuulizi wala funya malipizi haimaanishi nimesahau ukatili ulionitendea mwaka hadi mwaka. I just choose not to relive the experience. No matter how much i hate you tushazaa. Kosa kubwa lilikuwa kuzaa na wewe. Nakustahi cause mwanangu anakuita baba. Hii heshima ndogo nayokupa ni sababu ya mwanangu. Usivuke mipakaa wala mi mbwaa. Unanijuaaaaa vizuri na unajua ulionifanyia. Haya sepaaa.
Jicho lilinitokaaa sanaaa. Nikajiinua na kusepaaa. Nifanyaje sasa. Kesho tukakitana njiani kama kawaida anachangamka kama sio yeye alio niambia nisepee jana. Jamaniii! Kiukweli hamna kitu kinaumaa kama mtu kukusameheee na kuwa na amani rohoni mwake akijua yeye ndo kakosewa na kulipiza kisasi hataki, hana habari, kaamua kufanya mambo mengine.
Akiniona ile salamu, common courtesy ipo, birthday ya mwanangu aliniita kama sijamkataa yule mtoto mara mbili it made me feel dispeakable about myself. Kiukweli alinikomeshaaa sanaa. Nafuu angelipa kisasiii labda tunge suluhishwaa. Ila namna hii ilinilazimu kuwa mnyongee tu. Nae hana habariiikabisaa anaendelea na maisha yake. Ndonikaelewa Dee alijisikiaje kipindi Sally hana habari yuko na mimi. It must have hearted a lot. It hurts.
ITAENDELEA KESHO
lol!
na mdogo wako Amina, ilifika muda mlininyanyasa sana we na familia yako kisa eti mi sio msomali afu kafiri
