- kANA -
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Weekend Story! All is Fair in Love and War!
Weekend Story! All is Fair in Love and War!
- Thread starter lara 1
- Start date
TheGodfather95
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utahamia mwenyewe tu ndugu
- kANA -
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Nina experience kubwa kuhusu fanani. Hua hapatani na wahuni, mwisho wa siku lazima awakaange!
Acha nibaki team Mwita!
[emoji39] [emoji39] [emoji39] [emoji39]
TheGodfather95
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Unaona saivi kahamiaa kwa Mario akirudi ni kwa Mwita wako anamkaangaaa
- kANA -
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TheGodfather95
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me alinichosha kutaka kumpa kashifa ya ushoga Ceaser
Lara1 hana maana.
- kANA -
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TheGodfather95
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me team wahuni tuu
Afanye analotakaa
Shunie
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[emoji4][emoji4]
Shunie
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Hahaha
finnest
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Daaah kila saa nachungulia humu....... afu lara1 akirudigi nashindwa hata kufungua thread zingine ,nataka post zake tuuu!!!
cesilia
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Hii ya leo nahisi itakuja kesho [emoji38][emoji38][emoji38][emoji38][emoji38][emoji38]
shaban lee
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Uleteee mkuu arosto kali kweli kweli
lara 1
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EPISODE 8
The Cripple!
Well like you already know, i was not born this way. At one point in time i had the world by the balls. Now the world has me by the balls. I might have survived the accident but part of me died in the accident. I am never the same . It might look as if only my leg is missing but there is more in this story that you dont know yet. If you know you will side with me that To die, you dont need to rote in the grave, you can be dead while living. I am a dead man walking.
Nakumbuka siku ya ajali kama jana. Still have them nightmares. Just to flash you back, two months before my wedding i was the happiest i could ever be. Lively, and rejivinated. Tulishaanza vikao vya harusi, i was marrying the woman of my life, the woman of my dreams. Naomba nisimtaje jina maana nitaishia hapa hapa kusimulia, na kususaa kabisaa.
Nilimpenda sanaa, tulipendana mnoo mnoo. Life could never go smoother. Navosema nilimpenda huyu mwanamke msichukulia juu labda tu nilimpenda kishkwambi ila namega kiselaa. Nooooo! Nilimpenda nikafanya sacrifises kibaooo, ikiwemo kukacha a whole scholarship to the US. Nilikubali kubadilshwa dini, Robert niitwe Raul. Ilibakia kutiwa maji tu nianza kuchana mikeka.
Kukujuza tu nilikuwa na demu wangu wa miaka 8 nyuma, tunae pendana sanaa ofcourse kabla sijakutana na huyu. Kukutana na huyu nikaamua this is the one. Nilimuacha yule dada kisilencer mpaka basi. Aliumiaaa, ila ndo maamuzi ya moyo tenaa. Nifanyaje mzee baba.
Ukiwa umebaki mwezi mmoja, mpaka suti yangu ya harusi ishakuja kabisaaa. Nikatumiwa sms na mtu asiejulikana. Naikumbuka mpaka kesho. Sms ilisema hivi "Una taarifa mkeo mtarajiwa ashawahi kuolewa kwa ndoa na ana mtoto katika hio ndoa mkubwa tu wa miaka kama 7. Nakujuza tu just in case hujui." Ilikuwa usiku na nilikuwa na mtuhumiwa tumetoka kufanyana, Msomaji nilikuwa nafanya mimi mpaka wanawake wananililia. Sikumuuliza kitu.
Kesho nikapiga ile namba haipatikani. Nikaacha sms, haiwezekaniii, mke wangu ana 24yrs nauhakika wa hilo kama jina langu hawezi kuwa na mtoto wa miaka 7. Kila ikiingia sms najua mtu asiejulikana kumbe sio. Ikajibiwa "Usibishe muulize muhusika akikana, mi nitakupa uthibitisho usiokuwa na shaka. Mmmmhhh! Nikawaambia watu wangu wa karibu wakasema potezeaaa. Ujinga huo, anataka tu kukuvuruga. Kama kweli mbona hajitokezi. Nikatafakari, nikasema hataa naweza kuwa nauziwa mbuzi kwenye gunia.
Nikamuuliza bibie kistaarabu. Akapaniki uongoo, hamna kitu kama hikooo, mbona hajitokezii. Kama umeamua kuniacha niache tu, usitafute sababu. Mambo kibaooo. Ila alikuwa haniangalii usoni. Nikatuma sms, kakanusha, tuma uthibitisho. Haikujibiwahio text kama wiki 2. Zikawa bado wiki 2 harusi, mpaka nikamuomba msamaha wife to be kwa kumuhisi vibaya. Na kumuahidi this time ill never doubt her no matter what. Ikija sms na delete na kufuta kabisa siisomi.
Kweli baad siku hio ikiwa bado week ile namba ikatuma sms, nika delete bila kusoma. Ikatuma kama 5 zote nafuta sisomi. Bwana bwana kilichotokea ndugu msomajiii sina hamuu. Kwenye group la harusi, ambako mi nimo, ndugu zangu, mabest kila mtu. Ikatumwa link ya facebook. I was driving at that time, kuna kafoleni. Nikasema niifungue. Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat!
Link ilikuwa ya facebook, tukio la harusiii. Harusi ya mke wangu. Alikuwa mdogo sanaa, na anaemuoa nae mdogo hivo hivo. Kachorwa hinaa, katoka pambee hatariii. Nikapaki kwanza. Nikiwa nawazanasolve vipi hili simu zikaanza kuingia kwa fujo. Nika block call zote. Nikaamua kuipitia profile ya huyo mume mwenzangu. Nikaona na mtoto walizaa kweli. Tobaaaa. Nilivurugika.
Nikawa na drive tu, sijui natoka wapi wala narudi wapi, haya mambo bora ningejua mimi kwanza sasa kila mtu kajua. Naona bi harusi nae anapiga simu kwa fujo. Mara baba mkwe. Mara nani. Nikachanganyikiwa zaidi. Wananiona mi mpuuzi. Nikawaza nimkimbie tu design ya Yusufu alivotaka kukimbia Marry nifanyaje. Ishu ilikuwa sio kuwahi kuolewa, issue ilikuwa the levels of dishonesty were alarming. Hatariii.
Kumbe nimefika round about nikaingia kichwa kichwa boooom! Nikabutuliwa na semitrela, nikapinduka mara 3. Nachokumbuka ni kubanwa n aairbags, nikaona kizaa kinene. Nikaja kushtuka hospitali nimefungwa jiwe la mguu Sifaii sitamaniki. Siwezi kujisogeza kiunoni kwenda chini. Afu kama mguu moja nasikia mwepesi. Nika kaa kwanza kama nusu saa natoa tu mimacho.
Akaja Dr. akaniambia tu, be gratefull uko hai, kuna maisha mengine japo hujayazoea, ila pia ni maisha, muhimu kujikubali na kuitafuta furaha upya. Nikawa simsomi nikajiuliza kwani na ukimwi? Dr akahisi simsomi, akanifunulia shuka. Jesus Christ! Nilipiga yoweee. Mguu umekatiwa pajani. Dr ananipa moyo huu mwingine haukusagika utatembea. Be happy sasa kuna teknolojia pakipona kabisaa unaweza hata kuweka mguu wa chuma. Siwezi kusema ni jambo kubwa la kutisha snaaa. Ni mitihani tu ya kibinadamu.
Niliwaza mengi sanaa, labda Mungu kanilaani kwa kutaka kubadili dini. Why me? Au yule mwanamke wangu wa zamani kanilaani kwa kumvunja moyo, au kanisomea albadiri ila yeye sio muislamu. Niliwaza mengi sanaa sanaa. Mchana mda wa wagonjwa akaja mwanamke wangu wa zamani na mama na ndugu wengine. Kiukweli sikutaka kuongea na yoyote. Nilijitia niko usingizini. Wakawa wamefurahi nimeamka wanisalimie au hata wasme lolote lile.
Wembe huo huo kila wakija najifanya nimelala. Dr akaniambia do you realize at a point of time you will have to start talking to your family. It helps in healing. Mama alikuwa wa kwanza kushindwa uzalendo akawa ananisemesha hivo hivo hata nikijifanya siskii. Mimi mama yako, pamoja na yote, na baba yako hata kama hasemi, mi namjua, tunakupenda sanaa, tutakuwa pamoja, hakuna kilichobadilika, tuko na wewe, its gonna be okay. Finally i gathered the balls to start looking at people and talk.
Yue mwanamke wangu akawa anakuja kila siku, kila siku. Yule wa zamani. Nikaanza kuzungumza nae, akanipa poleee sanaa. na nini, nikawa nazungumza nae kawaida. Yule mtuhumiwa hakuwahi kuja nikahisi mama kamkataza asije labda. Nikamuuliza mama, akasema mi walaaa sijawahi kumkataza. Sanasana nilikuwa mwanzo namuhimiza kuja nikaona hataki nikamuacha. Labda anajiskia guilty kasababisha uwe hapa, tumuelewe.
Washakaji wengi walikuja kunionaa. Nikawauliza mtuhumiwa wa ugaidi wanamuona, Wakaa kimya. Mmoja akazuga yupo. Mwingine akakatishaa, hapendagi ujinga kabisaa namjua na sio mnafiki. Akasema tu bwana Robert jitahidi uponee yule demu mtoee mtoee kichwani. Nikauliza kwanini? Akasema anaongea shitty mda wote. Achana nae. Nikajitahidi kupata details sikupata. Nikaamua kuzisaka mwenyewe.
Uzuri ukiumwa mda unao mwingi wakutubu na kujitafakari upya. Najua ana swahiba wake Sabrina kaolewa muscat hawajatfutana mda sanaa. Nika create profile ya mwanamke tu kavaa nikab yuko na mumewe mwarabu na mtoto. Last news Sabrina alikuwa na mtoto wa 1 years. Nikakadiria umri nikatafuta umri wa mtoto wa sasa. Nikaandika profile. Sabrina Ali Yakuti. Born Dar. Lives in Muscat. Married to lovely Prince. Kidogo tu kumtekaa. Nikaanza kuchat nae.
Akafurahii kajua Sabrina. Nikamuuliza nasikia uliolewa majuzi. Akasema sikuolewa shogaa, nilikoswa koswa na tsunami. Kweli mi kijukuu. Akanisimulia sasa kuhus nda ya kwanza viapnde vipande. Bwana wee wambea walimpenyezea bwana harusi picha za harusi yangu na Muu. Sina hamuuu. Nikamuuliza kwa hio bwana kasamehe? Akasema aah wapi. Alipata ajali shogaa, sahivi navosikia maana hospital sijaenda ni mlemavuu. Na kama unavojua bwana yule kaziyake riadhaaa. Mkimbiaji na vitendea kazi ndo vishakufaaa basi tenaa. Nikaguna Mmmmmmhhhh! Nikamuuliza kwa hio shost huendi hospitali? Akajibu siendiiii shogaaa. Nimesahau nini, umri kumtunza mlemavu natakaa, bwana ahsalemaa nduguze watakomalia hata ndoa ya mkeka. Nafanya mishe mishe nirudi Dubai miee. Bwana si nilimuokotaga Dubai alikuja kwenye mbio. Asinizeeshe bado mdogo mie.
Niliumiaa sanaa. Niliumia na vingi. Niliumia kwanza kwa ujinga wa kumuacha demu wangu wa mwanzo mwenye utu na moyo, mpaka hali hii bado yuko na mimi, pamoja na yoteee kutaka kuioa scrapper hii? Niliumia pia kwamba pamoja na yote mtuhumiwa simlaumu kweli nani anataka mume wa kushinda shift za hospitali? Nilijisikitikia mnoo. Nikashukuru kwamba still nimuangukie huyu demu wangu wa mwanzo na kutubu kwa dhati. Najua atanifariji kwenye haya mambo.
Nesi kama alijua akawa ana niambia bi harusi umepataa, maskni mnapitia mitihani. Kila siku lazima aje. Juzi lile jimvua nikajua hatokuja. Ila kaja maskini. Kila siku anakuja na kaka yake. Kaka mtu atakuwa kamchokaaa. Nikastukaaa mbona hana kaka lakini? Nikasema maybe dereva. Nikamwambia tu nesi sio yeye mbona. Nesi akashtuka kivipi? Nikamwambia story ndefu, nikamsimulia juu juu. Akasema bora basi na yeye kapata wa kumsitiri. Nikatakaa kukaa nikavutwa na jiwe. Nikashindwa. Wa kumsitiri kivipiii? Nesi akaniambi we huoni anavaa engagement? Nikakaa kimyaaa. Chupi ilinibanaa japo nilikuwa sijaivaa.
Haukupita mda akaja. Kweli kavaa engagement ndugu msomajii. Chupi inikataa maana sio kunibana na ikumbukwe sikuwa nimevaaa. Nikajipa moyo our love runs deep. Kumvua hio pete kazi ndogo mbonaa. Nampa risala hapa la hajaa. Na cry an ocean. Nikaanza kujielezaa, nalia na yeye analia. Nikasubiria mrejesho narudisha huu mpete sasa hivi.
Akasema, i wish i could do more for you Robert, i wish many things, but wishes are not horses. It is too late. I belong to another. Nangangania another kivipiii? Unataka nifeeee, unataka nijiueee maana ikabidi nitumie mpaka vitisho vya mauaji, huoni sina mguu,how can you refuse a crippled man? Chochote nilichoona kitanifaa nikakiingizia humo.
Analia, I belong to another man now. Nikasikia tu besiii she belongs to me now! Na mtu namjua kabisaaa. Si mwingine ni binamu yangu. Akaja akamkumbatia kwa nyuma. Nilitaka niinuke nimtembezee kichapoo asilete uhanisi mda kama huu. Nikakumbuka kumbe mlemavuuu. Nikatulia kwanza. Ila vita ya mdomo naiwezaa.
Nikamwambia hivi kweli we ndugu yanguu kweli? We mbwa unajitia ndugu yangu kumbe unamtaka mwanamke wangu miaka yote unanusa nusa jirani maninaaa. Namwambia Daisy please usikumbatiane na huyu choko unaniumiza na unajua naumia sanaa hapa na maawa, masindano. Joram akanikazia, Robert dont be selfish, ushamuumiza sanaa Daisy. Ulimuacha bila sababu ukawa unaoa official. She was broken. And yes nampenda toka uko nae, and i envied you nikajiapiza nikimpata sifanyi makosaa kama yako cousin. Nadhani mwenyewe unaelewa kwamba hapa nimeshinda bingo, she is the most loving woman i ever had. Unaoan pete hii cuzooo. I am making it official soon. Binamu huo wako ni ushetani.
Nikamwambia ndio mimi ni shtani haswaa tena lenye pembe 20. Now i am not dead can i have my hell back? The devil is back and i want my hell. Niachie jehanamu yangu cousin. The fact kwamba umemkaza miezi miwli hii mi 3 nitai overlook. Diasy i forgive you baby, come back to papa. The love of your life. Joram akamwambia twende zetu, akili zake pia zilivurugika na ajali. Wakaondoka, Daisy akageuka nyuma kuniangalia one last time.
Alivokuja mama nililiamsha dude. Kwanini sijaambiwa Joram anaemuoa ni Daisy. Wananizuga anaoa naoa, kwanini sipewi taarifa kamili. Sasa nataka kikao cha familia. Wananiambia uko hapa kikao utakujaje? Nikasema kifanyike hapa hapa hospitali. Wakaja kweli, Daisy, wazazi wake, Joram wazazi wake. Wazazi wangu. Mkuu wa ukoo na ndugu wakaribu.
Mlalamishi ni mimi nimeporwa mwanamke na ndugu yangu. Mama Daisy alikuwa ananiangalia jicho la bora ungekufaaa tu kwenye hio ajali. Pande zote zikasikilizwa, ikabainika sikuporwa mwanake ila nilimuacha mwenyewe. Watu wakasema waseme wako upande wa nani. Kila mtu yuko upande wa Joram. Mpaka baba na mama yangu. I never felt alone in this world like that day.
The only thing that stopped me kuondoka kwenye maisha yao nisirudi milelee daima ni kwamba tu zana za kuondokea ambazo ni miguu sikuwa nao mmoja na uliobakia ni mbovuu. Lasivooo nasema lasivoo ndugu msomajii wangenisikia hewani. Vikao vya ile harusi viliendelea. Daisy alikuwa anakuja anaishia nje tu ya wodi. Naijua perfume yake. Sikutaka harusi inikute bongo. Nikafosi kuhamishiwa India.
Nilikaa hospitali mwaka, nikaongeza mwingine wa basi tu kuwaza maisha. I was out of job, out of relationship, out of life. Like i said part of me died in the accident. After 2 years i decided i wanted to live again. Nikarudiii nyumbani bongo toka ujerumani nilipokuwa nakaa tu, na kufanyiwa conceling na nini. Nikaanzisha NGO maana nilitafuta partners kule na kwa hali yangu fastaa money zikaanza kumwagika.
No matter how i write bouncing back was hard. Unaamka uskiku unataka usimame ukakojoeunaanguka unakumbuka sijavaa mguu bado. Unamuona demu unamuelewa ukimtongoza kama kaona kinyesi, unakumbuka oooh sina mguu. Akikukubali ujue njaa tu ndo iliomfanya akubali. You learn to live with less choices and standards hivo hivo. Siku ya kwanza naenda kitandani na demu ndo nagundua na mguu mmoja kufanya ni issue. Big issue. Nililia tu kwa uchungu. Nikawaza sijui bora ningekufa tu. Nikaanza kujifundisha mdogo mdogo. Huwezi kwenda sehemu usiwe center of attention.
Nikaanza kuwa liquor slave. Just for distraction. Nikajikusanya kwenda kwa Daisy na Joram. Nikakuta wana watoto wa 2. Another part of me died again. Nilijikaza kaza tu nikala chakula chao wakanisindikizaa kwangu. If the beaches were trying to strip me of my confidence, then their mission was accomplished.
2 days after nikawa nimekaa bar, natafakari, why dont i just grow some balls and take the pills. Maana ziko kabatini mda. Nikawapunguzia wengine mzigo. I am lucky to be here this long? I swaer one time i had the world by the balls, now the world has me by the balls. Mara paap nikamuona sasa bibie kaja kununua mchemsho. nikasema kama najiua bora nimalize dhambi moja ya mwisho mwisho. Nikamuita hakuja. Sikushanga maana ni kawaida. Alivokuja haikuwa kawaida. Woga ukaniingia.
We dated a little, i liked her a lot. Sikutaka kufanya makosa ya mwanzo, nikamuoa fasta fastaaa. With marriage comes expectations. I thought she was real, and she will stay by me to the end, try harder by my side. I thought wrong.
Zikaanza password za simu. I accept our sex life is not the best but i am not a fool. Mtu anaingia na simu mpaka chooni. Password zaidi ya 10 simu moja. I dont suspect she is cheating, i know she is cheating for a fact and this fact further detoriarated our marriage life.
Like i said i am a cripple not a fool. Why me? Were my expectations too high? Did i set the bar too high? Sielewiii ndugu msomajii sielewii. Ktika NGOs people look at me with hope, as if i am God sent, i wish to tell them i am human, just like you, i dont think you should believe in me like you do. I am terrified to let you down, like i let my wife down. Labda ana cheat cause simridhishiii. Au kwasababu its os hard to live with me. She looks me in the eyes and tell me she loves me, and looks at her phone with the same eyes.
I AM TERRIFIED TO LET MYSELF DOWN AGAIN.
ITAENDELEA
The Cripple!
Well like you already know, i was not born this way. At one point in time i had the world by the balls. Now the world has me by the balls. I might have survived the accident but part of me died in the accident. I am never the same . It might look as if only my leg is missing but there is more in this story that you dont know yet. If you know you will side with me that To die, you dont need to rote in the grave, you can be dead while living. I am a dead man walking.
Nakumbuka siku ya ajali kama jana. Still have them nightmares. Just to flash you back, two months before my wedding i was the happiest i could ever be. Lively, and rejivinated. Tulishaanza vikao vya harusi, i was marrying the woman of my life, the woman of my dreams. Naomba nisimtaje jina maana nitaishia hapa hapa kusimulia, na kususaa kabisaa.
Nilimpenda sanaa, tulipendana mnoo mnoo. Life could never go smoother. Navosema nilimpenda huyu mwanamke msichukulia juu labda tu nilimpenda kishkwambi ila namega kiselaa. Nooooo! Nilimpenda nikafanya sacrifises kibaooo, ikiwemo kukacha a whole scholarship to the US. Nilikubali kubadilshwa dini, Robert niitwe Raul. Ilibakia kutiwa maji tu nianza kuchana mikeka.
Kukujuza tu nilikuwa na demu wangu wa miaka 8 nyuma, tunae pendana sanaa ofcourse kabla sijakutana na huyu. Kukutana na huyu nikaamua this is the one. Nilimuacha yule dada kisilencer mpaka basi. Aliumiaaa, ila ndo maamuzi ya moyo tenaa. Nifanyaje mzee baba.
Ukiwa umebaki mwezi mmoja, mpaka suti yangu ya harusi ishakuja kabisaaa. Nikatumiwa sms na mtu asiejulikana. Naikumbuka mpaka kesho. Sms ilisema hivi "Una taarifa mkeo mtarajiwa ashawahi kuolewa kwa ndoa na ana mtoto katika hio ndoa mkubwa tu wa miaka kama 7. Nakujuza tu just in case hujui." Ilikuwa usiku na nilikuwa na mtuhumiwa tumetoka kufanyana, Msomaji nilikuwa nafanya mimi mpaka wanawake wananililia. Sikumuuliza kitu.
Kesho nikapiga ile namba haipatikani. Nikaacha sms, haiwezekaniii, mke wangu ana 24yrs nauhakika wa hilo kama jina langu hawezi kuwa na mtoto wa miaka 7. Kila ikiingia sms najua mtu asiejulikana kumbe sio. Ikajibiwa "Usibishe muulize muhusika akikana, mi nitakupa uthibitisho usiokuwa na shaka. Mmmmhhh! Nikawaambia watu wangu wa karibu wakasema potezeaaa. Ujinga huo, anataka tu kukuvuruga. Kama kweli mbona hajitokezi. Nikatafakari, nikasema hataa naweza kuwa nauziwa mbuzi kwenye gunia.
Nikamuuliza bibie kistaarabu. Akapaniki uongoo, hamna kitu kama hikooo, mbona hajitokezii. Kama umeamua kuniacha niache tu, usitafute sababu. Mambo kibaooo. Ila alikuwa haniangalii usoni. Nikatuma sms, kakanusha, tuma uthibitisho. Haikujibiwahio text kama wiki 2. Zikawa bado wiki 2 harusi, mpaka nikamuomba msamaha wife to be kwa kumuhisi vibaya. Na kumuahidi this time ill never doubt her no matter what. Ikija sms na delete na kufuta kabisa siisomi.
Kweli baad siku hio ikiwa bado week ile namba ikatuma sms, nika delete bila kusoma. Ikatuma kama 5 zote nafuta sisomi. Bwana bwana kilichotokea ndugu msomajiii sina hamuu. Kwenye group la harusi, ambako mi nimo, ndugu zangu, mabest kila mtu. Ikatumwa link ya facebook. I was driving at that time, kuna kafoleni. Nikasema niifungue. Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat!
Link ilikuwa ya facebook, tukio la harusiii. Harusi ya mke wangu. Alikuwa mdogo sanaa, na anaemuoa nae mdogo hivo hivo. Kachorwa hinaa, katoka pambee hatariii. Nikapaki kwanza. Nikiwa nawazanasolve vipi hili simu zikaanza kuingia kwa fujo. Nika block call zote. Nikaamua kuipitia profile ya huyo mume mwenzangu. Nikaona na mtoto walizaa kweli. Tobaaaa. Nilivurugika.
Nikawa na drive tu, sijui natoka wapi wala narudi wapi, haya mambo bora ningejua mimi kwanza sasa kila mtu kajua. Naona bi harusi nae anapiga simu kwa fujo. Mara baba mkwe. Mara nani. Nikachanganyikiwa zaidi. Wananiona mi mpuuzi. Nikawaza nimkimbie tu design ya Yusufu alivotaka kukimbia Marry nifanyaje. Ishu ilikuwa sio kuwahi kuolewa, issue ilikuwa the levels of dishonesty were alarming. Hatariii.
Kumbe nimefika round about nikaingia kichwa kichwa boooom! Nikabutuliwa na semitrela, nikapinduka mara 3. Nachokumbuka ni kubanwa n aairbags, nikaona kizaa kinene. Nikaja kushtuka hospitali nimefungwa jiwe la mguu Sifaii sitamaniki. Siwezi kujisogeza kiunoni kwenda chini. Afu kama mguu moja nasikia mwepesi. Nika kaa kwanza kama nusu saa natoa tu mimacho.
Akaja Dr. akaniambia tu, be gratefull uko hai, kuna maisha mengine japo hujayazoea, ila pia ni maisha, muhimu kujikubali na kuitafuta furaha upya. Nikawa simsomi nikajiuliza kwani na ukimwi? Dr akahisi simsomi, akanifunulia shuka. Jesus Christ! Nilipiga yoweee. Mguu umekatiwa pajani. Dr ananipa moyo huu mwingine haukusagika utatembea. Be happy sasa kuna teknolojia pakipona kabisaa unaweza hata kuweka mguu wa chuma. Siwezi kusema ni jambo kubwa la kutisha snaaa. Ni mitihani tu ya kibinadamu.
Niliwaza mengi sanaa, labda Mungu kanilaani kwa kutaka kubadili dini. Why me? Au yule mwanamke wangu wa zamani kanilaani kwa kumvunja moyo, au kanisomea albadiri ila yeye sio muislamu. Niliwaza mengi sanaa sanaa. Mchana mda wa wagonjwa akaja mwanamke wangu wa zamani na mama na ndugu wengine. Kiukweli sikutaka kuongea na yoyote. Nilijitia niko usingizini. Wakawa wamefurahi nimeamka wanisalimie au hata wasme lolote lile.
Wembe huo huo kila wakija najifanya nimelala. Dr akaniambia do you realize at a point of time you will have to start talking to your family. It helps in healing. Mama alikuwa wa kwanza kushindwa uzalendo akawa ananisemesha hivo hivo hata nikijifanya siskii. Mimi mama yako, pamoja na yote, na baba yako hata kama hasemi, mi namjua, tunakupenda sanaa, tutakuwa pamoja, hakuna kilichobadilika, tuko na wewe, its gonna be okay. Finally i gathered the balls to start looking at people and talk.
Yue mwanamke wangu akawa anakuja kila siku, kila siku. Yule wa zamani. Nikaanza kuzungumza nae, akanipa poleee sanaa. na nini, nikawa nazungumza nae kawaida. Yule mtuhumiwa hakuwahi kuja nikahisi mama kamkataza asije labda. Nikamuuliza mama, akasema mi walaaa sijawahi kumkataza. Sanasana nilikuwa mwanzo namuhimiza kuja nikaona hataki nikamuacha. Labda anajiskia guilty kasababisha uwe hapa, tumuelewe.
Washakaji wengi walikuja kunionaa. Nikawauliza mtuhumiwa wa ugaidi wanamuona, Wakaa kimya. Mmoja akazuga yupo. Mwingine akakatishaa, hapendagi ujinga kabisaa namjua na sio mnafiki. Akasema tu bwana Robert jitahidi uponee yule demu mtoee mtoee kichwani. Nikauliza kwanini? Akasema anaongea shitty mda wote. Achana nae. Nikajitahidi kupata details sikupata. Nikaamua kuzisaka mwenyewe.
Uzuri ukiumwa mda unao mwingi wakutubu na kujitafakari upya. Najua ana swahiba wake Sabrina kaolewa muscat hawajatfutana mda sanaa. Nika create profile ya mwanamke tu kavaa nikab yuko na mumewe mwarabu na mtoto. Last news Sabrina alikuwa na mtoto wa 1 years. Nikakadiria umri nikatafuta umri wa mtoto wa sasa. Nikaandika profile. Sabrina Ali Yakuti. Born Dar. Lives in Muscat. Married to lovely Prince. Kidogo tu kumtekaa. Nikaanza kuchat nae.
Akafurahii kajua Sabrina. Nikamuuliza nasikia uliolewa majuzi. Akasema sikuolewa shogaa, nilikoswa koswa na tsunami. Kweli mi kijukuu. Akanisimulia sasa kuhus nda ya kwanza viapnde vipande. Bwana wee wambea walimpenyezea bwana harusi picha za harusi yangu na Muu. Sina hamuuu. Nikamuuliza kwa hio bwana kasamehe? Akasema aah wapi. Alipata ajali shogaa, sahivi navosikia maana hospital sijaenda ni mlemavuu. Na kama unavojua bwana yule kaziyake riadhaaa. Mkimbiaji na vitendea kazi ndo vishakufaaa basi tenaa. Nikaguna Mmmmmmhhhh! Nikamuuliza kwa hio shost huendi hospitali? Akajibu siendiiii shogaaa. Nimesahau nini, umri kumtunza mlemavu natakaa, bwana ahsalemaa nduguze watakomalia hata ndoa ya mkeka. Nafanya mishe mishe nirudi Dubai miee. Bwana si nilimuokotaga Dubai alikuja kwenye mbio. Asinizeeshe bado mdogo mie.
Niliumiaa sanaa. Niliumia na vingi. Niliumia kwanza kwa ujinga wa kumuacha demu wangu wa mwanzo mwenye utu na moyo, mpaka hali hii bado yuko na mimi, pamoja na yoteee kutaka kuioa scrapper hii? Niliumia pia kwamba pamoja na yote mtuhumiwa simlaumu kweli nani anataka mume wa kushinda shift za hospitali? Nilijisikitikia mnoo. Nikashukuru kwamba still nimuangukie huyu demu wangu wa mwanzo na kutubu kwa dhati. Najua atanifariji kwenye haya mambo.
Nesi kama alijua akawa ana niambia bi harusi umepataa, maskni mnapitia mitihani. Kila siku lazima aje. Juzi lile jimvua nikajua hatokuja. Ila kaja maskini. Kila siku anakuja na kaka yake. Kaka mtu atakuwa kamchokaaa. Nikastukaaa mbona hana kaka lakini? Nikasema maybe dereva. Nikamwambia tu nesi sio yeye mbona. Nesi akashtuka kivipi? Nikamwambia story ndefu, nikamsimulia juu juu. Akasema bora basi na yeye kapata wa kumsitiri. Nikatakaa kukaa nikavutwa na jiwe. Nikashindwa. Wa kumsitiri kivipiii? Nesi akaniambi we huoni anavaa engagement? Nikakaa kimyaaa. Chupi ilinibanaa japo nilikuwa sijaivaa.
Haukupita mda akaja. Kweli kavaa engagement ndugu msomajii. Chupi inikataa maana sio kunibana na ikumbukwe sikuwa nimevaaa. Nikajipa moyo our love runs deep. Kumvua hio pete kazi ndogo mbonaa. Nampa risala hapa la hajaa. Na cry an ocean. Nikaanza kujielezaa, nalia na yeye analia. Nikasubiria mrejesho narudisha huu mpete sasa hivi.
Akasema, i wish i could do more for you Robert, i wish many things, but wishes are not horses. It is too late. I belong to another. Nangangania another kivipiii? Unataka nifeeee, unataka nijiueee maana ikabidi nitumie mpaka vitisho vya mauaji, huoni sina mguu,how can you refuse a crippled man? Chochote nilichoona kitanifaa nikakiingizia humo.
Analia, I belong to another man now. Nikasikia tu besiii she belongs to me now! Na mtu namjua kabisaaa. Si mwingine ni binamu yangu. Akaja akamkumbatia kwa nyuma. Nilitaka niinuke nimtembezee kichapoo asilete uhanisi mda kama huu. Nikakumbuka kumbe mlemavuuu. Nikatulia kwanza. Ila vita ya mdomo naiwezaa.
Nikamwambia hivi kweli we ndugu yanguu kweli? We mbwa unajitia ndugu yangu kumbe unamtaka mwanamke wangu miaka yote unanusa nusa jirani maninaaa. Namwambia Daisy please usikumbatiane na huyu choko unaniumiza na unajua naumia sanaa hapa na maawa, masindano. Joram akanikazia, Robert dont be selfish, ushamuumiza sanaa Daisy. Ulimuacha bila sababu ukawa unaoa official. She was broken. And yes nampenda toka uko nae, and i envied you nikajiapiza nikimpata sifanyi makosaa kama yako cousin. Nadhani mwenyewe unaelewa kwamba hapa nimeshinda bingo, she is the most loving woman i ever had. Unaoan pete hii cuzooo. I am making it official soon. Binamu huo wako ni ushetani.
Nikamwambia ndio mimi ni shtani haswaa tena lenye pembe 20. Now i am not dead can i have my hell back? The devil is back and i want my hell. Niachie jehanamu yangu cousin. The fact kwamba umemkaza miezi miwli hii mi 3 nitai overlook. Diasy i forgive you baby, come back to papa. The love of your life. Joram akamwambia twende zetu, akili zake pia zilivurugika na ajali. Wakaondoka, Daisy akageuka nyuma kuniangalia one last time.
Alivokuja mama nililiamsha dude. Kwanini sijaambiwa Joram anaemuoa ni Daisy. Wananizuga anaoa naoa, kwanini sipewi taarifa kamili. Sasa nataka kikao cha familia. Wananiambia uko hapa kikao utakujaje? Nikasema kifanyike hapa hapa hospitali. Wakaja kweli, Daisy, wazazi wake, Joram wazazi wake. Wazazi wangu. Mkuu wa ukoo na ndugu wakaribu.
Mlalamishi ni mimi nimeporwa mwanamke na ndugu yangu. Mama Daisy alikuwa ananiangalia jicho la bora ungekufaaa tu kwenye hio ajali. Pande zote zikasikilizwa, ikabainika sikuporwa mwanake ila nilimuacha mwenyewe. Watu wakasema waseme wako upande wa nani. Kila mtu yuko upande wa Joram. Mpaka baba na mama yangu. I never felt alone in this world like that day.
The only thing that stopped me kuondoka kwenye maisha yao nisirudi milelee daima ni kwamba tu zana za kuondokea ambazo ni miguu sikuwa nao mmoja na uliobakia ni mbovuu. Lasivooo nasema lasivoo ndugu msomajii wangenisikia hewani. Vikao vya ile harusi viliendelea. Daisy alikuwa anakuja anaishia nje tu ya wodi. Naijua perfume yake. Sikutaka harusi inikute bongo. Nikafosi kuhamishiwa India.
Nilikaa hospitali mwaka, nikaongeza mwingine wa basi tu kuwaza maisha. I was out of job, out of relationship, out of life. Like i said part of me died in the accident. After 2 years i decided i wanted to live again. Nikarudiii nyumbani bongo toka ujerumani nilipokuwa nakaa tu, na kufanyiwa conceling na nini. Nikaanzisha NGO maana nilitafuta partners kule na kwa hali yangu fastaa money zikaanza kumwagika.
No matter how i write bouncing back was hard. Unaamka uskiku unataka usimame ukakojoeunaanguka unakumbuka sijavaa mguu bado. Unamuona demu unamuelewa ukimtongoza kama kaona kinyesi, unakumbuka oooh sina mguu. Akikukubali ujue njaa tu ndo iliomfanya akubali. You learn to live with less choices and standards hivo hivo. Siku ya kwanza naenda kitandani na demu ndo nagundua na mguu mmoja kufanya ni issue. Big issue. Nililia tu kwa uchungu. Nikawaza sijui bora ningekufa tu. Nikaanza kujifundisha mdogo mdogo. Huwezi kwenda sehemu usiwe center of attention.
Nikaanza kuwa liquor slave. Just for distraction. Nikajikusanya kwenda kwa Daisy na Joram. Nikakuta wana watoto wa 2. Another part of me died again. Nilijikaza kaza tu nikala chakula chao wakanisindikizaa kwangu. If the beaches were trying to strip me of my confidence, then their mission was accomplished.
2 days after nikawa nimekaa bar, natafakari, why dont i just grow some balls and take the pills. Maana ziko kabatini mda. Nikawapunguzia wengine mzigo. I am lucky to be here this long? I swaer one time i had the world by the balls, now the world has me by the balls. Mara paap nikamuona sasa bibie kaja kununua mchemsho. nikasema kama najiua bora nimalize dhambi moja ya mwisho mwisho. Nikamuita hakuja. Sikushanga maana ni kawaida. Alivokuja haikuwa kawaida. Woga ukaniingia.
We dated a little, i liked her a lot. Sikutaka kufanya makosa ya mwanzo, nikamuoa fasta fastaaa. With marriage comes expectations. I thought she was real, and she will stay by me to the end, try harder by my side. I thought wrong.
Zikaanza password za simu. I accept our sex life is not the best but i am not a fool. Mtu anaingia na simu mpaka chooni. Password zaidi ya 10 simu moja. I dont suspect she is cheating, i know she is cheating for a fact and this fact further detoriarated our marriage life.
Like i said i am a cripple not a fool. Why me? Were my expectations too high? Did i set the bar too high? Sielewiii ndugu msomajii sielewii. Ktika NGOs people look at me with hope, as if i am God sent, i wish to tell them i am human, just like you, i dont think you should believe in me like you do. I am terrified to let you down, like i let my wife down. Labda ana cheat cause simridhishiii. Au kwasababu its os hard to live with me. She looks me in the eyes and tell me she loves me, and looks at her phone with the same eyes.
I AM TERRIFIED TO LET MYSELF DOWN AGAIN.
ITAENDELEA
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