• Mpendwa mteja, tunakusihi jitahidi kuosha mikono kwa maji safi na sabuni mara kwa mara na kwa siku chache hizi jaribu kutulia nyumbani kuepusha maambukizi ya #CORONAVIRUS

Vichekesho kumi za leo teh teh teh!!!

e2themiza

e2themiza

JF-Expert Member
Joined
Mar 29, 2011
Messages
975
Points
225
e2themiza

e2themiza

JF-Expert Member
Joined Mar 29, 2011
975 225

1.

Maswali haya je una majibi? JIBU KISHA NITUMIE MAJIBU![mtihani wa maarifa ya dunia] 1. Kama hela haioti kwny miti, kwnn bank zina matawi? 2. Kwnn gundi haigandi kwenye chupa yake? 3. Kama tunatakiwa tusi-drive wkt tumekunywa, kwnn bar kuna parking? 4. Kama neno abbreviation linamaanisha ufupisho, kwnn lenyewe ni refu hvo? 5. Kama tunatakiwa kufanya sex ndani ya ndoa 2, kwnn tunabalehe kabla ya kufunga ndoa? Kazi kwako...



2.

Taxi Mwanamke aliingia kwnye tax akiwa hana nguo,km alivyozaliwa!Dereva akawa anamshangaa,mwanamke akamuuliza hujawahi kuona uchi au! Dereva akajibu.ninachoshangaa c uchi wako,najiuliza pesa ya kunilipa utakuwa umeiweka wapi?


3.

Siri Baba: mwanangu, enhe shika hii 500Tsh usimuambie mama yako kuwa nimelala na housegirl. Mtoto: sitaki, tatizo we baba ni mbahiri sana mwenzio mama akilala na dereva ananipaga 1,000Tsh.

4.
Tendo la ndoa TENDO LA NDOA LINAVYOOMBWA: WAMASAI: Mama Yeyo nipe ile kitu namesa mwensake WAHAYA: Mama Koku infacti njoo tuperform WACHAGA: Mama Manka Fungua Kibubu nitupe shilingi WAPEMBA: Mama Ali panua paja mti waja! WAZARAMO:((hamna tafsida)andaa k*#, mb*$$ yaja


5.
Short na Long Call Kama haja ndogo ni ''short call'' Haja kubwa ni "long call" Basi kujamba iitwe "missed call"


6.
Heshima Mtoto kaona nyeti ya baba yake, Akauliza "nini hii"? Baba,akajibu "ni Heshima", kesho yake wakaja wageni, baba akamwambia mtoto, "toa heshima kwa wageni", mtoto akatoa Nyeti yake, akaonesha, wageni wakashangaa! mtoto akasema "mnashangaa haka kadogo, baba anayo heshima kubwaaa......!


7.
Kurudi shule Mtoto kamuuliza babake; " Eti baba, Unataka kuanza tena shule? Baba akauliza: "kwa nini Umeuliza hivyo? Mtoto akamwambia: Jana uthiku, nilickia ukimnong'oneza mama" Eti, kama anapenda, Muende la pili..! " Hivi Baba mimi niko la nne wewe na mama itakuwaje mwende la pili? Uthikubali hata kdogo"

8.
Mchaga. Mchaga alipata ajali alipozinduka pale hospitali akauliza "nipo wapi hapa?" Nesi akajibu,"umepata ajali, hapa upo hospitali. Bahati mbaya umekatika mkono." Mgonjwa: Na je saa yangu ipo wapi ya Rolex? Ipo mzee, nesi alijibu. Nesi: Mkeo na watoto wapo hapa kukufariji. Mgonjwa: Yeuwi... Wamefunga duka?


9.
Kimombo na sms Jamaa katumiwa msg na dem wake,kutokana na urefu wa msg ikashindwa kufika yote mwishoni ikaandika'some text missing'jamaa kizungu hajui hivyo maneno ya mwisho hakuelewa maana yake lkn akahisi litakuwa neno la kimahaba,kusudi aonekane mjanja akajibu, "some text missing too dear"


10.
Vibweka vya housegirl Mama mwenye nyumba "jamani nyie watoto wa nyumba hii, vijiti vya meno nimeleta juzi tu leo vimeisha?" Ndipo hoousgirl akadakia na kusema "mama mimi simo humo maana kila nikitumia nikimaliza tu navirudishiaga humo humo."
 
Mtalingolo

Mtalingolo

JF-Expert Member
Joined
Aug 4, 2011
Messages
2,189
Points
1,225
Mtalingolo

Mtalingolo

JF-Expert Member
Joined Aug 4, 2011
2,189 1,225
Mkuu hizo vichekesho zime2lia mbaya, big up sanaaa
 
King'asti

King'asti

JF-Expert Member
Joined
Nov 26, 2009
Messages
27,730
Points
2,000
King'asti

King'asti

JF-Expert Member
Joined Nov 26, 2009
27,730 2,000
i wish ingeitwa 'beep',lol
teh teh te he he e e e, ebwama hizi zote kali,lakini nimeipenda zaidi hii ya 'missed call' teh!
<br />
<br />
 
Apollo

Apollo

JF-Expert Member
Joined
May 26, 2011
Messages
4,901
Points
2,000
Apollo

Apollo

JF-Expert Member
Joined May 26, 2011
4,901 2,000
Mkuu, thanx kwa kunichangamsha.
 
D

dy/dx

JF-Expert Member
Joined
Jul 26, 2011
Messages
615
Points
195
D

dy/dx

JF-Expert Member
Joined Jul 26, 2011
615 195
hahahahaha mkuu vichekesho vyako vikali sana,nimependa namba 5 na 6.
 
Mzee

Mzee

JF-Expert Member
Joined
Feb 2, 2011
Messages
13,490
Points
2,000
Mzee

Mzee

JF-Expert Member
Joined Feb 2, 2011
13,490 2,000
Wikiend yangu imeanza vyema sana.
 
ChaterMaster

ChaterMaster

JF-Expert Member
Joined
Aug 17, 2009
Messages
1,483
Points
2,000
ChaterMaster

ChaterMaster

JF-Expert Member
Joined Aug 17, 2009
1,483 2,000
mkuu nimeipenda hii maaana ndan mwake ipo fact,
""Kama tunatakiwa kufanya sex ndani ya ndoa 2, kwnn tunabalehe kabla ya kufunga ndoa?""
 
MUREFU

MUREFU

JF-Expert Member
Joined
Oct 1, 2010
Messages
1,227
Points
1,225
MUREFU

MUREFU

JF-Expert Member
Joined Oct 1, 2010
1,227 1,225
dah! Men u made ma day dah! Nimeikubal ya dereva wa tax zaid
 
Shine

Shine

JF-Expert Member
Joined
Feb 5, 2011
Messages
11,494
Points
1,225
Shine

Shine

JF-Expert Member
Joined Feb 5, 2011
11,494 1,225
Du ebwana mbavu sina japo in reality sio nimezipenda kwa ujumla
 

Forum statistics

Threads 1,403,606
Members 531,286
Posts 34,428,679
Top