SMS hizi! Ungefanyaje?

[HP1]

Jamaa aliopoa shoga na kwenda kudo nae, wakati wa game yule shoga akaharisha. Jamaa akakasirika sana akaanza kumchapa makofi, shoga akaanza kulalama, " we dula unanionea kwa sababu mimi ndo nimeanza kukojoa. "

Hii itakuwa pande za Mombasa

 

[HP1]

JEALOUS WOMAN

A Jealous woman does better research than FBI

 

[HP1]

Roho Mbaya

Ona watu walivyo na roho mbaya!;

Jamaa alishukiwa na Malaika wa Mbinguni akaambiwa "Omba chochote unachotaka utapewa, lakini jirani yako atapewa mara mbili". (Mfano: Ukiomba PRADO jirani yako atapewa PRADO mbili, nawe utapata moja).

Jamaa akafikiria sana kwa muda kisha akamwambia Malaika "Nitoe jicho moja"

 

[HP1]

If your ex texts you saying "I miss you" that means the other person they tried to replace you with failed.

 

[HP1]

My girlfriend left a note on the fridge "It's not working. I can't take it anymore. I am going to my Mom's place"
I opened the fridge. The light came on. The beer was cold... What the hell is she talking about?

 

[HP1]

Never laugh at your wife's choices. You are one of them.

 

[sister]

teja aligombana na baba yake kwa hasira teja akaenda kwenye geti la kuingilia makaburini akaweka picha ya baba yake hafu akaandika COMING SOON.

 

[sister]

Teja mmoja alienda msibani akanyimwa chakula..........teja akasema sawa tu na mimi si nitafiwa mtaona kama ntawapa ubwabwa wangu.

 

[pirate]

JEALOUS WOMAN

A Jealous woman does better research than FBI

aisee hii nlshawai kuishuudia

 

[pirate]

Roho Mbaya

Ona watu walivyo na roho mbaya!;

Jamaa alishukiwa na Malaika wa Mbinguni akaambiwa "Omba chochote unachotaka utapewa, lakini jirani yako atapewa mara mbili". (Mfano: Ukiomba PRADO jirani yako atapewa PRADO mbili, nawe utapata moja).

Jamaa akafikiria sana kwa muda kisha akamwambia Malaika "Nitoe jicho moja"

he is genious aisee...

 

[Dula Ngwangwa]

Dah! hiyo kweli roho mbaya!

 

[Kayinga junior]

Kinyesi hakina miba lkn ukikikanyaga lazma uchechemeee!

 

[HP1]

he is genious aisee...

Umeona eeh?

 

[HP1]

Kinyesi hakina miba lkn ukikikanyaga lazma uchechemeee!

Kwikwikwiiii hahaa

 

[HP1]

teja aligombana na baba yake kwa hasira teja akaenda kwenye geti la kuingilia makaburini akaweka picha ya baba yake hafu akaandika COMING SOON.

Hahahaaa kweli coming soon

 

[Rubi]

Kinyesi hakina miba lkn ukikikanyaga lazma uchechemeee!

hahaha tena na mguu ungekua unaota mwingine ungetamani uukate.

Basi siku moja rafiki yangu alikuwa antoka kilabuni kuelekea nyumbani kwake kanjia kalikuwa na giza giza tororo si unajua tena njia sa ushwahilini ifikapo mida ya saa tatu na nne usiku. Basi akiwa ankaribia nyumbani kwake kwa mbele aliona mbwa akasema aokote jiwe ampige. kumbe liile alikuwa akifikiria ni jiwe kainama kuokota kumbe ni bonge la kimba ............... aghrrrrrrrrrrrrrr......

 

[berenya]

ingekuwa mimi ningezimia na safari ningeairisha kabisaaa

 

[berenya]

NANI MWENYE MAKOSA?

Mwanamke aliyelala na mumewe akawa anaota, ghafla akapiga makelele, "Jifiche mume wangu kaja", au mumewe aliyesikia hivyo akanyakua nguo na kukimbia akidhani amelala na mke wa mtu? Nahitaji mawazo yako.

mmmh hapo pagumu..maana wote ni wezi.

 

[berenya]

MC anamsifia Bi. Harusi

"Sasa nawapa sifa kubwa ya Bibi harusi. Tangu namfahamu huwa havai nguo za ndani!"
Watu wakaduwaa

MC "Narudia tena kwa msisitizo na sijakosea. Bi. Harusi huyu huwa havai kabisa nguo za ndani. Yeye anavaa za kutoka Italy, England na USA. Si za Tanzania. Hebu mshangilieni!"

Kila mtu "Ahaaaaaa...!"

MC Aangalie baba mkwe ni kabila gani..maana huo utani uwafanyie watu wa tarime..mmmmh..kabla ujamalizia sentensi shingo halali yao

 

[danali]

MPARE NA PESA

Binti: Mama, nimemuomba baba hela ya saluni akaninyoa nywele
Mama: Una bahati sana mwanangu. Ungemuomba hela ya whitedent angekung'oa meno!

Hahaha