Should you maintain contact or friendship with Ex-partner?

[Steve Dii]

Hapo itategemea ni jinsi gani mulivyoachana na Ex wako. if felt i was betrayed or used by my Ex i would still communicate with her,even assist her on her problem that i can, but believe me no strings attached. and avoid any dating or face to face meetings at any cost.

Mbongo Asili, frequency za makutano zikizidi ndiyo husababisha matukio mengine ambayo unaweza kujikuta ukishiriki bila full conscious yako. Nadhani kuijua dhana ya ex wako at the earliest stage ni muhimu ili kuepusha yoyote usiyokidhia na majuto mbeleni.

SteveD.

 

[BAK]

Mzee nachoweza kusema ni kuwa wapenzi hamwezi kuwa marafiki unajua ni kwanini? Mkipata mzingira yanayoruhusu ni rahisi sana kusaliti penzi lako la sasa kwani wewe na mpenzi wako wa zamani mnajuana sana na ni swala la kukumbushana tuu.Waswahili husema "Nyumba ya makumbusho haibomolewi" Mzee hata kama ukikutana na demu wako wa zamani ni rahisi sana kukuvulia chupi hata kama kaolewa, vilevile ni rahisi sana hata kwa demu wako kumvulia ex wake chupi mzee wakakumbushana ukizingatia yeye ndie alimvunja bikra na kumleta kwenye huu ulimwengu wa mapenzi uliomwengu unaowatesa wengi, ulimwengu uliowafanya wengi wawe watumwa na kuangamia ulimwengu ulio na raha isiyoelezeka hata Majambazi na magaidi huwa wapole kwenye anga hizo. Ningumu sana kuzuia hisia hizo kwa GF wako wa zamani.

Kwa mimi mwenyewe naona ni bora uepuke kabisa, Agree that the past is behind you and don't make each other remember it. Otherwise ni hatari mkuu. Kama hujagundua hakuna kitu mademu wanachukia kama kuwapigia story zako na wapenzi wako wa zamani vile vile sisi wanaume huwa hatupendi sijui wewe mwenzangu demu wako anakuambia oooh nilishawahi kuwa na huyu na huyu na huyu si utamuona community woman?

Siku zote ukimuuliza demu mimi ni BF wangapi atakuambia ni wa 2 na wanaume hivyo hivyo umelala na wanawake kibao hata wengine huwakumbuki ila demu akikuuliza kuwa ooh mimi ni demu wako wa ngapi unamdanganya wa 2 na wakwanza niliachana naye kwasababu alinicheate.

Mkuu epuka kuongea na demu wako kuhusu past reletion, epuka kukeep close contact na Ex wako (sisemi awe adui wako) ila distance iwepo.

Naam huo ndiyo ukweli wa mambo kama hamkuachana kwa matusi ya nguoni basi ni rahisi mno kukumbushana enzi zenu na hivyo kutafuta kasehemu kakufanya ngono zembe ambayo matokeo yake yanaweza kuwa siyo mazuri kwa wote wawili.

 

[Icadon]

Shamba la Kale rahisi kulilima tena!!!

 

[Steve Dii]

Shamba la Kale rahisi kulilima tena!!!

.... Kweli kabisa Icadon, ila tahadhari ni muhimu. Huchelewi kujikuta unaotesha magugu maana yawezakuwa limeshaingiwa najisi na mmiliki wa mpito!!

 

[Mama]

.... Kweli kabisa Icadon, ila tahadhari ni muhimu. Huchelewi kujikuta unaotesha magugu maana lawezakuwa limeshaingiwa najisi na mmiliki wa mpito!!

kwi kwi kwi, ukijikuta unajisikia kuchat na ex-wako mara kwa mara, jua unampenda na mchukue jumla.

 

[Steve Dii]

kwi kwi kwi, ukijikuta unajisikia kuchat na ex-wako mara kwa mara, jua unampenda na mchukue jumla.

Mama si lazima uwe unampenda, ila naamini saa nyingine inabidi tu uongee naye... hasa kwa wale ambao watoto wanakuwa involved, kana vile kwenye mambo ya shule, maradhi n.k. Kwa wale wa ughaibuni mambo ya child benefit huwasukuma kuongea na ma-ex wao bila kupenda...

SteveD.

 

[Mama]

Mama si lazima uwe unampenda, ila naamini saa nyingine inabidi tu uongee naye... hasa kwa wale ambao watoto wanakuwa involved, kana vile kwenye mambo ya shule, maradhi n.k. Kwa wale wa ughaibuni mambo ya child benefit huwasukuma kuongea na ma-ex wao bila kupenda...

SteveD.

Kama imefikia hatua ya kupata mtoto, na bado mkaweza kuongea, inashindikana kweli kuishi pamoja maishani? labda yeye awe hataki tu kwa vile ana mwingine. Kwa mimi ex- means ex-, labda tukutane kwa bahati mbaya ndio atapata hata salamu yangu. Kwa niliyeweza kuongea nae kwa dakika tano niko naye hadi sasa na nitakuwa nae milele.

BTW haya mambo hayana formula, huwa yanakuja tu from nowhere.

 

[Steve Dii]

Kama imefikia hatua ya kupata mtoto, na bado mkaweza kuongea, inashindikana kweli kuishi pamoja maishani? labda yeye awe hataki tu kwa vile ana mwingine. Kwa mimi ex- means ex-, labda tukutane kwa bahati mbaya ndio atapata hata salamu yangu. Kwa niliyeweza kuongea nae kwa dakika tano niko naye hadi sasa na nitakuwa nae milele.

BTW haya mambo hayana formula, huwa yanakuja tu from nowhere.

...hayo mawili; kwa hiyo mama hilo neno milele is just a wishful talk, innit?!

 

[Mama]

...hayo mawili; kwa hiyo mama hilo neno milele is just a wishful talk, innit?!

so i suppose, and in a relationship I wish and hope for the best (when it comes to children no wishes, I will stay with the guy forever no matter what-meaning hata akinifukuza-kama atathubutu- sitoki ng'o).

 

[Mbu]

Dear JF Reader,
WanaJF naomba nasaha zenu kwenye maswala hapo juu. Ahsante.



SteveD.

...~' Scarry shadow looming in the dark!'~, achana kabisa na kuendekeza mahusiano ya ex-wako, unless una matarajio ya Baby-come back! iwapo tu nyote bado mpo single,

kinyume na hapo unakaribisha matatizo tu kwenye uhusiano wako mpya, unadhani ni fair kweli kwa mpenzi/mume/mke wako mpya kujua una mahusiano bado na ex-wako? ingelikuwa wee ungejisikiaje iwapo yeye ndiyo ana hiyo friendship?

No way bana, si entartain hilo. Where the kids are concerned, uhusiano utakuwepo ule wa kutimiza majukumu kama mzazi mwenzangu tu, sio urafiki wala zaidi ya hapo!

Surprisingly, kuna wengine wanatake advantage 'to check what they have been missing!", ...nasema shame on you guys and dolls, hilo ni sawa na kurudia matapishi, don't hook yourselves!

I've tried and failed badly in this!

 

[Kevo]

This is a hot topis thanx stevd for starting it.Actually I have come across such a situation before.i would like to admit I have been into so many relationships.I thinkg am growing and need to grow still.Actually what has come of me is I have always ended up being a very good friend of my former lovers actually even repeating the same relationship and failing again.But one thing I have learnt no matter how the relationship ended always try to remain friends get to advise each other and always be there for on another.
You may not know probably that was not the right time for you to be lovers.The right time will come.

 

[NANOO]

...~' Scarry shadow looming in the dark!'~, achana kabisa na kuendekeza mahusiano ya ex-wako, unless una matarajio ya Baby-come back! iwapo tu nyote bado mpo single,

kinyume na hapo unakaribisha matatizo tu kwenye uhusiano wako mpya, unadhani ni fair kweli kwa mpenzi/mume/mke wako mpya kujua una mahusiano bado na ex-wako? ingelikuwa wee ungejisikiaje iwapo yeye ndiyo ana hiyo friendship?

No way bana, si entartain hilo. Where the kids are concerned, uhusiano utakuwepo ule wa kutimiza majukumu kama mzazi mwenzangu tu, sio urafiki wala zaidi ya hapo!

Surprisingly, kuna wengine wanatake advantage 'to check what they have been missing!", ...nasema shame on you guys and dolls, hilo ni sawa na kurudia matapishi, don't hook yourselves!

I've tried and failed badly in this!

Big up mchongoma

yalopita yaache yajiendee bana...

 

[NaimaOmari]

it really depends on the circumstances of breakup ... kama maybe mtu ka travel for a long time fine..

lakini kama it was because of someone else coming between us??? we acha tu, i cut all live wires ... napiga moyo konde na kinyaa juu ... kwani kungangania au kuendekeza moyo ... you may end up in serious situations za aibu especially kama mwengine ameoa ama kuolewa atakuwa anamsaliti mwenza...

With me wherever i read any signs of danger .... and confirmed ... nawahi mimi kukuacha .... kwani i love myself so much ... roho kama bado inauma .. nafsi inamwambia moyo toka uende mwenyewe lakini mimi, miguu na mikono hatukusaidiii ... na kweli moyo unatulia .. so get over it .... usiwe kinganganizi maana anakupotezea mda hata kupata maradhi kwa zilipendwa... mwengine hata hana heshima atakuvamia njiani kisa mlikuwa wapenzi ... hapana

 

[Icadon]

.... Kweli kabisa Icadon, ila tahadhari ni muhimu. Huchelewi kujikuta unaotesha magugu maana yawezakuwa limeshaingiwa najisi na mmiliki wa mpito!!

Ha ha mkuu si unakuwa unajua wapi ukipanda kuna rutuba na wapi hakuna...
Sasa imagine kama mlikuwa childhood friends mkakua pamoja mwishoni mkaishia kuwa lovers na mkabreak up....sidhani kuna wengine watakuwa tayari kuthrow that friendship away...I wouldn't!!!!

 

[Mtaalam]

mwee haya ndo matopic bana ya kufuatilia tukishatoka kwenye kusikia ma uchawi na pumba za chama chetu cha mataira....

niliona mwanzoni mwa thread jamaa aliuliza abt suala lingine nalo la ''lets b friends''.....
well hayo ni kweli ndugu yetu asemayo ndio kama windows vista ya dept ya vibuti...yaan nowdays nasikia ndio galz na some guys hutumia kumpiga mtu kibuti but mara nyingi nasikia huwa inakua mtu ana mfeel mwenzie lakini tu kuna some kitu kinazuia yeye kumkubalia na ndio mwishowe huishia kumwambia lets jus b frendz..

wana jf mwaliongeleaje hilo nalo?!?!

 

[Mtaalam]

na je wat if ulibreak up na huyo kimwana kwa matatizo yake mwenyewe alafu later on anakuja na kuanza kusema anaregret makosa yake aliyofanya na kulead kwa nyie kuachana?!!!!!???

 

[Mbu]

na je wat if ulibreak up na huyo kimwana kwa matatizo yake mwenyewe alafu later on anakuja na kuanza kusema anaregret makosa yake aliyofanya na kulead kwa nyie kuachana?!!!!!???

...ujue anataka kukufanya wewe 'kabusati' ka kupangusia uchafu wake!

forgive and forget him/her!!!

 

[Mtaalam]

...ujue anataka kukufanya wewe 'kabusati' ka kupangusia uchafu wake!

forgive and forget him/her!!!

kabusati ni lugha ya kwetu ya taifa ama?!

labda sikuelezea vyema, wakuta it was due to her accusations,which alidanganywa then akaziamini ikalead to kugombana na kuachana but later on anakuja na kusema she was wrong alikuja gundua alikosea kusikiza watu and dat she still loves u na blah blah kibaaooo wakati nawe ulisha move on na mwingine though somehow u feel like u have got some feelings for wa zamani

its a complicated matter lakini ndo hivyo sio mbaya kuizungumzia!

 

[Mbu]

kabusati ni lugha ya kwetu ya taifa ama?!

labda sikuelezea vyema, wakuta it was due to her accusations,which alidanganywa then akaziamini ikalead to kugombana na kuachana but later on anakuja na kusema she was wrong alikuja gundua alikosea kusikiza watu and dat she still loves u na blah blah kibaaooo wakati nawe ulisha move on na mwingine though somehow u feel like u have got some feelings for wa zamani

its a complicated matter lakini ndo hivyo sio mbaya kuizungumzia!

...busati;, i.e carpet! sasa 'kabusati' sijui kiswahili chake, na hilo ndio kusudio langu, 'doormat'!!!

unajua mtaalamu, hapo kwenye feelings ndio mimi siwezi kukusaidia, maana kila mtu ana zake. Jambo la msingi ukumbuke, kama uliamua ku move on, 'somehow' bado una feelings na ex wako, inaelekea ulifanya maamuzi ya kuanza uhusiano mpya wakati bado hujapona machungu ya kuachwa.

Ok, huyo mrembo unasema ilimchukua muda kuja kugundua ukweli na makosa yake, ...ana feelings gani kuhusu wewe kuvunja uhusiano wako wa sasa?, yeye anaona sawa? hebu muulize kiukweli hasa, what she really feels about it!

Jibu atalokupa ndio utajua ukweli wa msimamo wake, akianza kujiuma uma tafuta plan B ya ku cope na emotions zako, la sivyo nyote mtabakia hamna msimamo nini 'hasa' mnataka.

all in all, it's all about mazoea bwana, feelings zinachangiwa na mazowea ulokuwa nayo kwa huyo Ex wako. Ex wako anaweza sana kukuchanganya akili kwakuwa anajua 'the right buttons to touch ili uanze kupagawa na kuweweseka! Bahati mbaya mtu kama mimi akiniletea kama hizo, huwa na 'switch off' kwa kuyakumbukia yale mabaya yake tu mpaka huo moto anaouwasha unapokufa wenyewe...

The choice is yours!

 

[Pundit]

Here is my philosophy,

Ex-partners should maintain just enough contact - in the guise of being civil - to get disgusted with each other all over again.In other words, if you want to keep your ex as an ex, maintain enough contact to be repelled by what originally caused the ex to be the ex .

No contact at all and you will fantasize what was not there (heightened regrets) and crave for the ex, more contact than necessary and you will drop the ex from ex-partner and make him/her a current one in a bid to revive a bygine era.

Of course the best solution is to get a stunner/ hunk (inside and outside) that will completely replace the ex make you forget you ever had the ex.

That is under ceteris peribus where such nagging variables as children (and possibly child support), alimony, court appearances, ridiculous bling, cribs and all that was supposed to bring happiness are not involved.