Dear JF Reader, --Have you been hit by the dreaded four-word-phrase: "Can We Be Friends?" It is a classic break-up line and an eventual one when a relationship hits the rocks. --Since you liked each other enough to start a relationship, surely you should be able to stay friends... but it doesn't always quite work out like that. So how would you define such a relationship? Does the person who asks ‘can we still be friends?' really mean it? --Some say: "ex-partners should be handled like nuclear waste. Bury them in the ground and hope they're harmless in 10,000 years." (Ref: adolescent-adulthood.com & enotalone.com) --Can you really forget all the history of your relationship and be proper friends with an ex, and is there a way of avoiding the chemistry and the inevitable re-match? --Je, ni vizuri kwa mpenzi wako wa sasa kuwajua ma ex-partner wako au ni bora kuuchuna tu? Lakini ukiuchuna nako halafu mnakumbana mbeleni kwenye mabarabara ukiwa na partner wako wa sasa, huoni kama huo utakuwa mtihani kujieleza kwanini umesalimiana naye, au kwa huyu naye wa sasa siyo vizuri kwake kukuuliza kwanini hukumwambia kabla? --If you instigated a break-up, can you have sex with your ex because of a repressed feeling of guilt for breaking off the relationship? --Ukiwa wewe ndiye uliye sitisha uhusiano, je unajisikiaje hivi sasa kumwona mpenzi wako wa zamani amepiga hatua nzuri kwenye mahusiano yake ya sasa? Na kwa vile amepiga hatua, wewe kama chanzo cha kuvunjika kwa mahusiano yenu, unaweza kumpa pongezi ex-partner wako katika hatua aliyopiga? Au kwa sababu ni mambo ya mahusiano inakubidi ukae kimya? --Ok, let's say avoidance hasn't worked and that you couldn't mentally say NO when your body and your heart are crying out YES; how do you avoid an emotional disaster when confronted with the decision of having "sex with the ex?" --If you are a type of person who doesn't support the idea of friendship between exes but it happens that you have children with your ex-partner, will you try to get along with the ex and ex's new partner for the sake of children? Since you don't have to like your ex's new partner, what steps will you take towards her/him for the sake of children? Basi, WanaJF naomba nasaha zenu kwenye maswala hapo juu. Ahsante. SteveD.