Nimeachwa tena, sijui tatizo langu ni nini?

[Worldboss]

nauachwe tu maana umezidi kuwa king'ang'anizi

 

[badiebey]

Mimi nashauri uchukue mapumziko halafu ujiangalie, ujifanyie tathmini.

Kama unavyodai ni kweli kwamba unaitwa 'mzuri na wengi', sijui uko 'charming', 'intelligent' na kadhalika, halafu kwa wakati huo huo ushatoswa mara tano....kuna kitu hapo.

Tuanze na hilo la uzuri. Wewe mwenyewe unajionaje? Unajiona uko mzuri? Au watu huwa wanakuambia tu uko mzuri kwa lengo la kukufurahisha tu na si kwamba wanakuwa wanamaanisha kweli? Maana huku mitaani bana ni kama huwa hakuna mwanamke mbaya. Na saa ingine wanaume huwa wanapenda tu kusifia wanawake kama jadi tu, na si kwamba wanasifia kweli kwa dhati kutoka moyoni.

Kwenye suala la usafi ukoje? Unajiona uko msafi vya kutosha? Manake unaweza kweli ukawa unavutia kwa sura na kimaumbile lakini ikija kwenye usafi wa mwili na kinywa, hakuna kitu. Hakuna uhusiano wa moja kwa moja kati ya uzuri wa sura na maumbile na usafi wa hali ya juu wa mwili na kinywa.

Na wakati mwingine mtu unaweza kabisa ukadhani kwamba wewe ni msafi kweli lakini ukakutana na mtu mwingine [kama mimi kwa mfano] ambaye viwango vyake vya usafi viko juu sana na ukaonekana hukidhi viwango.

Halafu, hili suala la usafi ni sensitive sana. Sijui hata unaanza anzaje kumwambia mtu kwamba aongeze usafi kwenye kitu au jambo fulani. Matokeo yake unakuta mtu anatoa tu sababu zisizo na kichwa wala miguu za kuachana na wewe lakini kumbe anakuwa kashindwa kuvumilia mazoea yako ya usafi.

Sasa nikuulize: Je, unanuka kikwapa? Huwa unanyoa kikwapa chako? Usafi wa kinywa je? Huwa una-floss? Kama una-floss, huwa unafanya hivyo mara ngapi kwa siku? Unapiga mswaki mara ngapi kwa siku? Na je, huwa unapiga mswaki kwa usahihi au huwa unasugua tu meno? Je, huwa unakwangua ulimi wako? Kama huwa unakwangua, huwa unaukwangua mara ngapi na huwa unaukwanguaje?

Je, kitumbua nacho ni kisafi? Manake isije wewe ukawa unaona unakisafisha vya kutosha huku hao wenzio wanaona hukisafishi vya kutosha na wanashindwa wakuambieje. Halafu, ubora wake ukoje..? Manake yawezekana pia kisiwe na ubora unaokidhi viwango vya hao jamaa watano waliokutosa..... The Boss....

Je, una mazoea ya kujichokonoa pua hadharani bila kutumia tissue paper? Manake kwa bongo watu hawaoni kabisa haya kujichokonoa pua zao na kuanza kufikicha fikicha wanayoyatoa humo puani utadhani play-doh.

Pumzika, jiangalie, jifanyie tathmini, jirekebishe pale unapoona labda kuna dosari.

Hahahha NN japo nina stress imebidi nicheke tu,
Well hio concept ya uzuri ni kitu naambiwa from family friends men nk i believe it najithamini na kujikubali jinsi nilivyo. Hata kama ningekua sio mzuri ningejipenda,
Kutoswa kwingi kweli naona tatzo lipo ndo am making effort to work on it
Usafi sitanii back at school waliniita smart girl,home wananiita mama usafi,siko extreme but usafi na mimi vinaenda sambamba
Wangu binafsi na mazingira pia,i don't have body odor i don't even js shave i wax oftenly to keep a smooth skin,i know how to clean my teeth and tongue come on man..dental floss ndo vile viuzi au? Hio situmii,i use mouthwash smtyms
Well yumkini zipo sababu but ndo hata hazivumiliki jmn?
Hata mtu kuona mema nnayotenda kweli anivumilie kama binadamu?
Mbona nawavumilia wao,wapo wenye vibamia ,broke ones sometimes,gubu,wanakera,hwajatulia smtym,siwi tegemezi,wapo niliowazidi shule,navumilia tu mana sipendi kuhangaika afu mtu ananitosa can u imagine ninavojisikia despite my sacrifice and effort yet i can't keep a man,
Life's not fair sometimes

 

[badiebey]

Nimeona hiyo title nimecheka kama mazuri jamani
badiebey pole my dear...I don't know you in person but kwa jinsi tu navyokusomaga huwa nahisi you are a good girl. At times huwa nafikiri there is always a high price to pay just for being a good/ decent girl. Usibadilike, just keep on being a good girl and your reward shall be doubled

Unaweza ukawa beautiful, intelligent, caring, loving, independent, sweet, Gid fearing yani a whole complex package but still kila siku ukawa unalizwa na mapenzi. Wewe kama wewe unaweza ukawa unachangia kuwa na mahusiano mabovu kwa njia hizi

1 . Bad choices,.. "kosea vyote ila usikosee kuoa/kuolewa. Kosea chochote na sio mtu wa kuwa na mahusiano naye. Labda kuna muda Unaingia kwenye mahusiano coz upweke umekuzidi so as long as kuna mtu wa kukupa company unajikuta upo kwenye mahusiano after muda unaanza kuona his flaws na eventually mnabreak up. Na sometimes kwa macho yako ya kibinadamu unaweza ukadhani umepata mtu sahihi but after muda unagundua your selection was wrong. Muombe sana Mungu akupe chaguo sahihi kwa sababu hata ukiwa malaika ukichagua mtu ambaye sio sahihi kwako utalia tu.

2. Unaignore red flags. Kuna wakati mwingine hata kabla ya kuingia kwenye mahusiano na mtu au soon after kuingia kwenye mahusiano kuna "dalili" mbaya kabisa tunazionaga but tunajipa moyo "maybe atabadilika", maybe things will work out for us au tutajuaga mbele kwa mbele. Anza kujiandaa tu kisaikolojia kulia huko mbeleni

3. Allowing youself to stay too long in a bad relationship. Umeshaona red flags but bado tu upo kwenye mahusiano. Me nahisi uswahili/ushamba sijui umenizidi jamani, mtu aniambie I'm off mood, tupeane space sijui nijitafakari eish ntakujibu tu kimoyomoyo "wasalimie huko unapoenda kuchukua mood mpya". Ukishaona Vitu kama hivyo, mtu mlevi, abusive wa maneno na vipigo, hajitambui, he is immature yupo yupo tu anawaza starehe..anzaga tu safari ya matumaini mapema. Hakuna cha future hapo

Muombe Sana Mungu akupe kibali mbele za watu akuondolee roho ya kukataliwa /giza. Sio kitu cha kawaida pia kila siku ukiwa na watu hawathamini chochote kizuri unachokifanya. Unashangaa tu ghafla mtu amekata mawasiliano na wewe bila sababu bila taarifa. Wanaondoka, wanakuumiza afu baada ya muda Unashangaa anakutafuta " badiebey u are a good girl, nakumbuka yote mazuri uliyonitendea, Mungu akupe mume mwema, sio atakayekuumiza kama mimi yani full kujilaumu au mwingine anakuja kwa kasi kabisa mrudishe mahusiano while it's too late. Unaishia kujiuliza hivi huyu ndo ananiona wa maana sasa hivi au. Seek spiritual help

All in all, Jipe muda sasa out na mahusiano. Accept what has happened na part yako uliyoplay. Jisamehe na msamehe aliyekutenda then fanya mabadiliko kwenye yale mapungufu unayohisi yamechangia wewe kuwa na mahusiano mabaya ( kuna mapungufu yako maybe ambayo sisi hatuwezi kuyajua, unayajua vizuri wewe mwenyewe)

Nimejikuta naanza kilio upya,
Siwezi sena sna but AHSANTE kutoka moyoni kabisa,God bless you

 

[chalii wa ara]

God Cares each nd everyone of us in this journey of life
He heals broken hearted nd blinds the'r wounds

Hayo yote ni mapito tu dadangu nd u hav to pass em to be more stronger
Ur right man is on da way... keep praying

 

[Khantwe]

don't loose hope Mtoto halali na hela is here waiting for you.

Umeanza lini hii tabia?

 

[Lancashire]

Nimejikuta naanza kilio upya,
Siwezi sena sna but AHSANTE kutoka moyoni kabisa,God bless you

Kwanini unalia binti?life comes only once just move on with your business.believe me utapata mwanaume ambaye atakupenda sana na atakuwa tayari kukufanyia lolote lakini utamsumbuwa sana .

 

[The Boss]

There is nothing wrong with you
wa kwako hajafika..akifika hutajihita ant efforts to keep him
utamuona yupo tu hadi mwisho....

all the best.....

In the mean time wafariji tupo while unawaza uchague yupi...ha ha haa

 

[badiebey]

Kwanini unalia binti?life comes only once just move on with your business.believe me utapata mwanaume ambaye atakupenda sana na atakuwa tayari kukufanyia lolote lakini utamsumbuwa sana .

Move on mpaka lini,haya bwana..will try

 

[badiebey]

There is nothing wrong with you
wa kwako hajafika..akifika hutajihita ant efforts to keep him
utamuona yupo tu hadi mwisho....

all the best.....

In the mean time wafariji tupo while unawaza uchague yupi...ha ha haa

Haha thanks,hulalii..

 

[The Boss]

Haha thanks,hulalii..

Ndo nalala now...nilihitaji say something to your thread
i mean it when i say 'there is nothing wrong with you'

 

[Kaundime2]

Hapo tatizo ni wrong choice. Jitathimini watu unaotoka nao
Wa kwako bado hajatokea

 

[Shangani]

Njoo ufanyiwe maombi wenye tatizo kama lako wengi washafunguliwa

 

[Nyani Ngabu]

Hahahha NN japo nina stress imebidi nicheke tu,

If for whatever reason what I wrote made you guffaw, then I'm glad you did.

I'm glad you did because laughter is a great form of stress relief.

And not to belabor the obvious, but the health benefits of laughter are widely extolled.

So good for you.

Well hio concept ya uzuri ni kitu naambiwa from family friends men nk i believe it najithamini na kujikubali jinsi nilivyo. Hata kama ningekua sio mzuri ningejipenda,

Hiyo ya kujipenda nimeipenda. Usipojipenda hata wewe mwenyewe unategemea nani sasa atakupenda? Kujipenda ni vizuri na muhimu sana.

Kutoswa kwingi kweli naona tatzo lipo ndo am making effort to work on it

Your acknowledgement that there is a problem somewhere and your willingness to identify and fix it is commendable.

Usafi sitanii back at school waliniita smart girl,home wananiita mama usafi,siko extreme but usafi na mimi vinaenda sambamba

Safi sana. Ila ngoja nikwambie kitu...wakati mwingine mtu unaweza ukajiona una high personal hygiene standards hadi pale utakapozilinganisha na za mwingine ndo unaweza kuona kumbe zako siyo kama vile ulivyokuwa unadhani zipo. Sasa sisemi kwamba huna viwango vya juu vya usafi wa mwili....nachosema ni kwamba wewe unaweza ukadhani viwango vyako ni vya juu lakini mwenza wako akawa na mtazamo tofauti na wewe na hajui akuambieje.

Wangu binafsi na mazingira pia,i don't have body odor

Are you sure about that? I might need to smell you....hahaaaa just kidding.

But do you use deodorant? Do you wear body sprays/ mists?

i don't even js shave i wax oftenly to keep a smooth skin,

Good for you Badiebey! Waxed punanies are the best:wink:.

i know how to clean my teeth and tongue come on man..dental floss ndo vile viuzi au? Hio situmii,i use mouthwash smtyms

You don't floss and you don't use mouthwash on the regular? You need change that girlfriend.....

Well yumkini zipo sababu but ndo hata hazivumiliki jmn?

This is where I empathize and sympathize with you.

Hata mtu kuona mema nnayotenda kweli anivumilie kama binadamu?
Mbona nawavumilia wao,wapo wenye vibamia ,broke ones sometimes,gubu,wanakera,hwajatulia smtym,siwi tegemezi,wapo niliowazidi shule,navumilia tu mana sipendi kuhangaika afu mtu ananitosa can u imagine ninavojisikia despite my sacrifice and effort yet i can't keep a man,
Life's not fair sometimes

I definitely feel your pain. Just hang in there, keep hope alive, do what you need to do and things will into place.

 

[FaizaFoxy]

Usimfungulie kufuli mwanamme kabla hamjaoana.

 

[Mgirik]

Tatzo lipo kwenye uzuri. Ww unajiita mzuri lakn je huo uzuri upo kila sehem?
Tabia? Kitandan? Personal hygien? Kauli?. Kat ya hivyo nilivyokuwekea qn mark ndio tatzo lilipo.

 

[tamuuuuu]

Tukipendana na mie hutaumia hivo kabisa,utapata penzi lenye raha sn.

 

[Uso wa nyoka]

Pole. Huwa Unapenda pasipostahili na watu unaokutana huwa hawako serious na wewe kama ulivyo nao.

 

[Kipilipili]

Tatizo lako mleta uzi ni hapo uliposema "napika, nampa mapenzi......mambo ya massage, madeko yote...." hii maana yake unaishi nae "kindoa" kabla ya ndoa. Huduma unazompa si stahiki yake, hizo hupewa aliyeoa.kwa hiyo wanakumanipulate halaf muda wao wa kuondoka ukifika wanatimka. JITHAMINI, na kuwa na KIASI, weka baadhi ya vitu kwa ajili ya MUMEO sio hawara.
kitu kingine CHANGE HOW YOU THINK ABOUT UR MR.RIGHT. hii huenda ndio tatizo KUBWA zaidi na chanzo cha yote. Namna unavyofikiri juu ya AINA ya mume umtakaye HAIKO SAHIHI, ndio mana unapata watu wasio sahihi. May i ask you? Unataka mume wa AINA gani? Tatizo ninaloliona mimi ni kuwa mabinti wangi wanachaguliwa aina ya wanaume na TREND YA DUNIA hasa magharibi ,yani wanawake wanaaminishwa kuwa mwanamume mzuri ni yule mwenye kifua kipana,misuli minene,mrefu,mwenye pesa ndefu,elimu ya chuo kikuu tena masters labda na kuendelea....this is completely not right. Tafta mume wa type yako, mume ambaye anaweza asiwe na vyote hivyo na still akawa ni mume bora kwako. Urefu,kifua kipana hakina lolote when it comes to real man and true love. Mwanamme anaweza kuwa andunje,fidodido na elimu ya form four tu but akawa na mapenzi ya kweli na akawa vissionary kuliko huyo wa chuo kikuu. Halafu pia ukitafta wa aina hiyo anaekwenda na western life perspective ujue umejiingiza katika kinyang'anyiro na its only the fittest will survive, wenzako pia watakuwa wanamtaka huyo huyo tena wengi.sasa jiulize what so SPECIAL do you have kitakachokufanya uwe na competative advantage kwao?
Change your mind, mapenzi huja tu naturally, na hayasakwi, ukiyasaka utajipa shida na mashaka usiokuwa nayo!pole sana!

 

[mweusi asili]

ni pm tuongee kuna vitu nahitaji kukuuliza personally if u'll not mind

 

[badiebey]

Thanks all for pole na ushauri,pm na hapa