Mawasiliano na Mahusiano

[Dark City]

Siyo wajibu wa mme kukufikisha, we ndo una wajibu wa kuhakikisha kama unafika!!! kama huwezi ku-negotiate jinsi atakavyokufikisha, atafanya kwa vile nafsi yake inamtuma! Kama hujaridhika, ni wajibu wako kuhakikisha kuwa next time mnafanya hadi unaridhika. Usitarajie mmeo akustareheshe wakati wa tukio, hana feelings zako, hajui kinachotokea kichwani na moyoni mwako.

Ni wajibu wa kila mtu kuhakikisha kuwa mwenzie anafanya vile anavyotaka yeye; yaani usiwe passive huku ukitegemea kufurahishwa, hata mwili utashindwa kurespond!

Mkuu,

Haya ni maneno mazito saana! Na nakubaliana na wewe kwamba ni wajibu wa kila mtu kujua analolitaka katika mahusiano na jinsi ya kuyapata.. Hata hivyo naamini kuwa kila mtu ana wajibu wa kuzitendea haki hisia za mwenzi wake...Inapotokea haki haitendwi, inakuwa ni wajibu wa mtu asiyetendewa haki kuidai kwa njia yoyote ile..

Kwa mwendo huo, hakuna sababu wala umuhimu wa kutumia short cuts...!!

Aksante nyamayao, hiki nakijaribu kukiweka vizuri kinanishinda. Ndio ninachotamani kuwasikia kina KipimaPembe wakinipa alternative. Kwa sababu cheating haikubaliki na haina excuse basi watusaidie kuzipunguza kwa kutusaidia alternatives. Na ndio hapo linapokuja swali langu katika situation kama hii, mume ana mchango gani katika kumsukuma huyu mama hata kuwaza kutaka kucheat!

Au ndio kusema mwanamke ameumbwa na hisia, ashki ambazo zinarespond kwa mume wake tu kuwa siku mume akiamua kumkatia line hata miezi sita, mwaka basi na yeye hatopata ashki za mwili kwa kuwa zinakuwa non-functional au ni vipi.

Pamoja na kutumia maneno mazito dada yangu, hakuna kitu kama alternatives za kutotedewa haki kwenye ndoa. Hiyo alternative haitakupa haki ambayo unaikosa badala yake itazalisha matatizo mengine..ingawa kwa mtazamo wa muda mfupi itaonekana kama tatizo limepata suluhu.

Kuliko karaha ya kucheat, nashauri wale ambao jitihada za kurudisha mambo ya ndoa zao kwenye normal zimegonga mwamba basi waanze maisha mapya...Mbona wenzi wetu wakifa nasi hatufi..

Ni kweli kabisa kipima pembe ni wajibu wangu kuhakikisha ninafikishwa, lakini nitafikishwajwe ndugu yangu ilhali kila siku mtu anakuja late na amelewa. Kwanza ukianza kufikiria kumwomba romance akili inachoka mana hiyo harufu utadhani kitu kimechacha.

Basi mwenyewe unajitutumua hapo kwa kuonyesha kaufundi kako lakini mwenzio ndio kama hasikii wala haoni vile, na smtime unachukua hata mkono wake unauelekeza pale unapotaka ushikwe lakini mwenzio haelewi somo wala darasa sana sana utasikia mie nina usingizi bwana tufanye haraka mie nilale kesho nataka kuwahi kazini.

Kinachofuata hapo ni kuchafuliwa na hizo yorgurt zake then mtu anachapa usingizi kwa kwenda mbele, kwa kuwa bado unampenda sweetie asubuhi utajitahidi kumweleza sweetie siku hizi mbona hivyo hunifikishi kama zamani ?

Jibu utapata ni pombe na uchovu mke wangu mpendwa but usijali nitajitahidi kuacha haya mapombe but usiku akirudi kalewa huyo afadhali hata ya jana!

Huwa najiuliza nakosa jibu kabisa hivi mtu akishaolewa nyege anaziacha kwao au mana mtu waweza lala naye hata mwezi ukimgusa tu unapigwa kikumbo!

Mhhh,

Haya bwana. Naona hapo unakubali kutumika. Ukishakubali kuwa mtambo wa kuwapa watu raha basi huna sababu ya kulalamika. Ila siku ukijua kuwa wewe siyo toy basi utahakikisha mpira unachezwa kwenye uwanja sahihi.

Kwani ukigoma kudhalilishwa na huyo mlevi (hata kama ni mume wa ndoa) atakufanya nini??? Try it and give us feedback!

Mhhhhh, mie naambiwa na mamsapu wangu kuwa ndoa si sex ........ akiwa anajustify kuninyima kwa mwezi au zaidi; na hapo je??? ..... wakati wa uchumba alikuwa akisolve problem kwa kunigawia. Sasa hivi ana-solve problem kwa kuninyima!!! Unaona eeee, na wanawake mmo!! Na siwezi kujustify kutoka nje kwa sababu eti ananinyima ........... can u see it?

Kwenye ndoa wanaume wananyimwa sana unyumba tena wakati mwingine kwa sababu za kitoto!

Nadhani wanapotozea kwa sababu wengi wao wanatumia theory ya mzee mwenzangu (mwanamume hakuumbwa kwa ajili ya mke mmoja!!). Kama hilo lingekuwa halipo, hali ingekuwa mbaya sana na matukio ya homicide na ukatili mwingine yangekuwa mengi sana!

Nyamayao huyu KipimaPembe mie ananifurahisha sana. Anao mtazamo flani mzuri ambao unatufundisha kitu kikubwa sana kwenye mahusiano. Nadhani anachojaribu kusema ni kuwa no matter what the situation, unatakiwa uwe mwaminifu ninamwelewa. Ila ninachoshindwa kumpata vizuri ni lama anaadvocate uvumilivu hasa kwa wale ambao hawana uwezo wa kutoka kwenye hiyo relationship.wasugue magoti waombe wenzi wabadilike au sio?

MJ1,

Kwa nini hawana uwezo wa kutoka kwenye hayo mahusiano ya kufikirika? Au kwa sababu wanaweza kuanza kucheat na maisha yakaendelea?

Kila mtu anaweza kumalizana na relationship yake kama haimpeleki alikotarajia kwenda, na maisha yakasonga mbele..Tatizo letu tunadhani tukifunga ndoa ndo tumefika Kigoma mwisho wa reli...

Kwa nini tusiamue kupanda hata Land Rover 109 tukaenda zetu hadi Kibondo??

Tatozo la wanawake wa kisasa hawasemi ukweli, hivi mtu anakuja na ulevi wake anakushika kama anakupeleka buchani unamwanalia tu? Unapiga kelele kama Kipofu Bathromey. Ile hoja ya kutokuwa na mawasiliano nyumbani ndiyo chanzo kikubwa kinafanya watu waende kufanya hayo maujinga nje ya ndoa zao.

Imagine kama leo hujafurahi ukamwambia mwenzio unafikiri kitu kile kitajitokeza tena? Mimi wangu aende kwa sababu ndiyo tabia yake tangu tumboni mwa mamake, kikawaida kama sijui kitu nitaenda kwa makungwii nalipa hela nafudindishwa mambo yanaenda.Hakuna kitu kinashidikana ukiamua.

AMUENI SASA.

Nakubaliana na wewe Caro. Hivi hao wanaoamua kucheat kama marafiki zake Nyamayao wanadhani watafanya hivyo hadi lini??

Imagine katika huko kucheat anapata mimba...ataipeleka wapi???

Ndio maana naogopa, kama alivyosema K/Pembe kwamba mwisho wa mahusiano hayo siyo mzuri hata kidogo!!

 

[wilbald]

Na hakuna mwanamke anayekubali alicheat kila mtu anajifanya kama haimhusu vile,
hakuna wa kunidanganya ..... we jua kama wewe ni mwanaume unamcheat mkeo na yeye kiaina
anakucheat sana , hata kwa kupokea sms za mapenzi tu nayo ni cheating, kuna mama mmoja
namjua yeye huwa havuki mipaka lakini anapenda kuchart sms, bbm ,fb, na watu msg za mapenzi
anasema hiyo tu inampa faraja, wakikaa waliowahi cheat yeye anajitoa, hapo utasemaje?

mamaa hebu niambie! kumbe mimi niwapo safarini wewe una-cheat kwa sms eeh! nilishakuambia ni wewe tuuuu, hakuna mwingine,nakuomba utulize moyo.
nitarudi keshokutwa,,,tutaenda mapumzikoni mahali utakapopapendekeza wewe mwenyewe...pia simu yangu nitakukabidhi na wewe utanikabidhi yako. unasemaje?

 

[AshaDii]

Mada ipo valid jana leo na kesho...

 

[Nyani Ngabu]

No way Jose! I fundamentally and categorically reject that assertion. Cheating is a premeditated act. No one can make anyone cheat. The cheater cheats on his or her own will.

Deflecting blame to others is irresponsible and stupid. It is about time we start shooting straight and call things for what they are. How can a grown ass man or woman say that their spouse made them cheat? Did they tie you up or put a gun to your head and told you to go cheat?

People can call me whatever they want (eccentric, weird, odd, or whatever) but I just don't buy those kind of sorry ass excuses. You take off your clothes and sleep with someone other than your spouse, that is your fault. Man up or woman up and own it.

Heck, you were courageous enough to get naked and have sex with someone other than your spouse and now you don't have the courage to own up to what you did and you gonna blame someone else for it? Give me a break!

People, if you cheat don't start blaming others for it. Fess up and take responsibility.

Dayuuuum....

 

[Valentina]

Mada moto hii...

 

[Mr Natafuta]

imekaa kiaina flan