Help me tafadhali...

BrownEye · Feb 14, 2008

SteveD. said
Labda nyongeza tu kwa dada jn,
Kujituma kusiishie kwenye mambo ya chumbani tu kama wengine wanavyoshauri.... hiyo probation inaweza kabisa kuwa inapima pia msimamo na prospect yako ya baadae katika maisha yako. Yaani mawazo yako katika jamii, mchango wako katika jamii, na mengineyo... kwani unaweza kukuta mtu anakupenda zaidi wewe si kwa jinsi ulivyo 'mtukutu chumbani', bali ni kwa jinsi unavyoweza kusimama na kusaidia watoto/watu wasiojiweza/walemavu n.k. katika jamii yako ukilinganisha na uwezo wako.

Naona kama ulikuwepo hapa mezani kwangu nikiandika my post. Asante sana kwa hints

Ibrah · Feb 14, 2008

jn said:
Jamani naomba mnisaidie. Roho yangu inauma.

I have been with a guy for 2 years now. mimi niko tayari kufunga ndoa nae and i think we have a very good and supportive relationship. lakini nikianza kuongea kuhusu kufunga ndoa ananiambia hajaamua. what does this mean? does it mean hayuko tayari au hajaamua kuniona mimi? mimi naona kama ananichezea tu. najua ananipenda lakini naona hataki kuniona kwa sababu fulani. i wish i had the enough courage to leave him ili nitafute mtu mwingine who wants the same thing as me.

nawaomba mnisaidie jamani, yani roho inauma kweli manake nampenda kweli huyu jamaa. sijui nifanyeje.

Pole sister J,

Naomba nikwambie waziwazi. Huyo jamaa hana mpango wa kukuoa, naomba ulijue hilo. Ni afadhali usonge mbele uangalie mustakabali wako kabla hujapoteza muda. Katika ombi lako huajsema kama kama mnashiriki tendo au la, lakini mnashirikiana (na hilo ndo kipaumbele cha akina kaka) basi ujue hana mpango wa kukuoa. Siamini kama unavyoamini kuwa anakupenda, angekuwa anakupenda angelipokea hilo wazo la ndoa kwa bashaha na kutoa sababu nyinginezo kama vile hana uwezo na mngeanzia hapo.

Napenda kuwashauri akina dada wote kwa ujumla kuwa ukiwa na rafiki wa kiume na unampa tendo basi chance za kukuoa zinakuwa ndogo sana.

Tulamanya · Feb 14, 2008

Binti JN be careful na ushauri wa hawa vijana hapa, maneno yao ni mazuri sana (yaani ni ushauri mzuri sana)! Lakini mi najua,mtu ukifikia umri fulani, tabia yako huwa huwezi badilisha kabisa, unachoweza kufanya ni kuficha makucha na kuwa msanii!!
Nina maanisha, kama mpaka sahivi, huna hiyo tabia ambayo akina STEVE D wanashauri, nigumu kubadilika leo hii! Najua unaweza, uka act sahivi na ukamfanya huyo jamaa yako akaingia laini na mkafunga ndoa, lakini nakuhakikishia baada ya muda fulani utarudia your original character!! Hivyo ugomvu itapata permanent accommodation nyumbani kwenu!!

Mimi nakushauri yafuatayo:

1.Kama huyo jamaa haonekani kukumind, mpige chini tu immediately (kama unaweza), lakini mind you sisi wanaume hasa wabondo si very open sana, anaweza kuwa anakupenda sana (hasa wahehe,wakurya,wapare,wahaya)ila hakwambii because anafikiri akikwambia utavimba kichwa sana, na akikwambia mfunge ndoa now, utamletea kiburi because you are young and may be beautiful!! So anaona the only way to control you ni kukuacha bila ndoa!! Kama ni hivyo, ile kitu usimnyime kabisa, tena nakushauri kama unaweza kupata mimba naye iwe hivyo, na make sure ndugu zake wanafahamu hilo na uwe unaiva sana na either mama mkwe au wifis or shemeji's na uwe na mawasiliano ya mara kwa mara (ni muhimu
sana hili jambo)

2. Muombe Mungu sana, si maanishi uokoke!!

3. Usilazimishe ndoa hata siku moja, ndoa ya kanisani au msikitini or bomani ni vitu vya nje tu, si kamba au ulimbo wa kumnasia mume!! Be natural usiwe artificial kwa huyo jamaa yako(isipokuwa kwa hao relatives wake)

For your information myself niko na uhusiano wa aina hiyo na a wife to be, lakini tuna mtoto mmoja already! sina mpango wa kufunga ndoa now, cause no incentive to do that, ile kitu napata , niko na mtoto tayari, so why hurry!! - Pia ukifunga ndoa, majukumu yanalundikana toka kila upande cause every one will now for sure nyie mmeanza maisha rasmi, kumbe now haaaaaaaa!! kila mtu hasa wazee wanatuona wahuni,hatujakomaa kimaisha, kumbe hawajui on myside niko serious and I undestand what I am doing!

Best of luck!

Tulamanya · Feb 14, 2008

Ibrah said:
Pole sister J,

Naomba nikwambie waziwazi. Huyo jamaa hana mpango wa kukuoa, naomba ulijue hilo. Ni afadhali usonge mbele uangalie mustakabali wako kabla hujapoteza muda. Katika ombi lako huajsema kama kama mnashiriki tendo au la, lakini mnashirikiana (na hilo ndo kipaumbele cha akina kaka) basi ujue hana mpango wa kukuoa. Siamini kama unavyoamini kuwa anakupenda, angekuwa anakupenda angelipokea hilo wazo la ndoa kwa bashaha na kutoa sababu nyinginezo kama vile hana uwezo na mngeanzia hapo.

Napenda kuwashauri akina dada wote kwa ujumla kuwa ukiwa na rafiki wa kiume na unampa tendo basi chance za kukuoa zinakuwa ndogo sana.

Mkuu Ibrah,

Umeoa au una demu au huna chochote kati ya hivyo?

Napingana na wewe big time!! Nina ushaihid wa kutosha kwa kusema hivyo, binafsi uhusiano wangu na mke niliye naye (sija junga ndoa na sina mpango kufanya hivyo hivi karibuni) uhusiano ulianza kwa kula uroda first mpaka tuka pata mtoto, na tuka endelea mwisho kahamia kwangu na naishi naye together
with our baby!! for your information ,sina mpango wa kumwacha huyu binti kabisa!!ile yeye haujui msimamo huo (u see)

We dada kama mnapeana (na nashauri umpe) uroda, endelea kufanya hivyo na ikiwezakana hamia kwake ( hope ana getto hapa town), achana na biashara kichaa ya ndoa bwana wewe!! kama hakupendi ni haupendi tu, hata ukifunga ndoa atakutesa tu!!

Ila take care hizo safari zake huko mikoani anaweza akawa na vigango (nyumba ndogo), ambavyo ndo competitors wako!!

Kitu kingine, jitahidi sana kuwa dodosa rafiki zake unao wafahamu, ujue kidogo akiwa nao anakusemaje?? angalia issue ya kumsingizia hapo ili wa over take kushoto!!

Thanks!

BrownEye · Feb 14, 2008

Festog kwanza nikupe pole kwa kujikwaa vidole vyote kabla ya ndoa.( kutia mimba binti wa watu. Najua utajifanya ulipanga but I know ni bahati mbaya kwani unaonekana ni mtu anayeogopa sana. Nachelea kuukubali sana baadhi ya ushauri wako kwani kwa kufanya hivyo unaonyesha kabisa kuwa mwanamke hapo abaki kuwa kitu cha starehe tu na ni kiumbe dhaifu. ukishamzalisha mtu unakuwa umempunguzia sana heshima kwenye jamii na moyoni mwake binafsi. Kama wanaume wote wangekuwa na mawazo kama yako nafikiri ndoa isingekuwepo. Sitaki kusema mengi sana ila mmhhh. ushauri wako lazima dada awe makini.

Msanii · Feb 14, 2008

twanga said:
kwanza najitambulisha kuwa mimi ni mwanachama mpya naomba munipokee ama kuhusu huyo jamaa achana nae anataka kukudhalilisha tuu kisha akuwache .

Twanga karibu sana JF
ila ktk ushauri wako ambayo ni post yako ya pili umechemsha ndugu. Kumshauri mtu kuachana na mpenzi wake ni ushauri ambao Munge pekee ndie anayeutoa.

JN
Kumbuka kuwa ndoa si hitimisho la kuonesha kuwa unapendwa au unapenda. Kwanza ni maandalizi na mipangilio ya msingi halafu nakushauri rule your world. Usilazimishe wala kuchochea ila just have things in progress hatua kwa hatua...

Tulamanya · Feb 15, 2008

browneye said:
Festog kwanza nikupe pole kwa kujikwaa vidole vyote kabla ya ndoa.( kutia mimba binti wa watu. Najua utajifanya ulipanga but I know ni bahati mbaya kwani unaonekana ni mtu anayeogopa sana. Nachelea kuukubali sana baadhi ya ushauri wako kwani kwa kufanya hivyo unaonyesha kabisa kuwa mwanamke hapo abaki kuwa kitu cha starehe tu na ni kiumbe dhaifu. ukishamzalisha mtu unakuwa umempunguzia sana heshima kwenye jamii na moyoni mwake binafsi. Kama wanaume wote wangekuwa na mawazo kama yako nafikiri ndoa isingekuwepo. Sitaki kusema mengi sana ila mmhhh. ushauri wako lazima dada awe makini.

Tatizo sie wa bongo huwa hatupendi ukweli kabisa, tunataka sana kujifanya watasha, hatupendi kuishi maisha yetu kabisa! We always want to live artificial lives, me I hate this!! If I can just you guy a qn, what do you understand the so called ''Ndoa''? Najua utajikanyaga kanyaga tu bila kunipa ukweli of halisi wa NDOA!!

Eti unasema, kumzalisha unampunguzia heshima? mimi sikuelewi kabisa, ndo maana nakwambia uko too artificial!! Understand kwamba, mtoto uliye zaa siyo wa kwako peke yako, kila mmoja hufurahia ujio wake, lakini mlio wengi husemi mtoto wa mwanaume! This is totally wrong!!

Halafu kijana unaonekana huishi na mwanamke. For ur info, mkeo unayeishi naye hawezi hata siku moja kuwa chombo cha starehe kama unavyo fikiria......! Hiyo starehe unayosema, ni kasehemu kadogo sana kny maisha ya wiwili!!

Try 2 b real men!! Hivyo ndivyo waswahili tulivyo!!

Tulamanya · Feb 15, 2008

jn said:
kama unampenda demu wako kwa nini humwambii msimamo wako? kwangu mimi naona its very important to be honest all the time. mtu unasema kila kitu on your mind. mambo ya kufichaficha sio mazuri jamani? au mimi nakosea?

Dadangu, JN

Nilicho sema mimi ni ukweli kuhusu utamaduni wetu hasa makabila fulani fulani hivi kama niliyo ya taja hapo juu!! Mimi lengo langu hapa ni kuku encourage kuendelea na huyo jamaa, only if kama atakuwa anafana tabia na watu wa kabila hizo au mimi nilivyo, cause I am sure atakuwa anakupenda sana!!

Dada hamna nia mbaya, just ni nature ya watu ndo tulio wengi tumekua hivyo!

Thanks

Sal · Feb 15, 2008

Kana-Ka-Nsungu said:
Ndoa hailazimishwi dadangu, ndoa nyingi za kuforce huwa zina kasumba ya kuambatana na matatizo. Mpe muda hadi hapo yeye mwenyewe atakapoona yuko tayari. Kuwa ready kwa mwanaume sio kuhusiana na masuala ya fedha, kazi na makazi tu, kuna kuspend ujana pia au kwa lugha nyingine kula maisha kwanza kabla hujajicomit kwa mtu mmoja 'for the rest of your life'.
Pia kuna uwezekano kuwa kwa sasa jamaa anakuona sio 'wife material' na anaenjoy tu company yako, anaishi na wewe kwa mazoea tu so atakapoamua kuoa atakumwaga. Inawezekana pia uko under probation na kwa sasa anautumia muda huu kukupima kama unafikia standard ya kuwa 'Mrs' wake.
Ushauri wangu kwako ni kwamba inakubidi ujitume sana kwa wakati huu, hasa nyakati za 'mchezo', mfanyie kila kinachowezekana ili uondoe negative thoughts zozote ambazo anazo juu yako, yaani I mean umchanganye kabisa kwa mavituz yako hadi akupigie magoti mchozi ukimtoka na yeye mwenyewe kwa sauti kubwa aseme 'will you marry me?' Kama yote haya yakishindikana na unampenda, kamata basi uende Bagamoyo- hachomoki hapo!!

Asante KKN. nimependa ulivyomshauri. kama imepangwa hata ipite miaka 10 mtaoana, kama haikupangwa hata useme vipi ataolewa aliyekutana naye mwezi mmoja, na hata akikuoa ndoa haitadumu utaishia kunyanyaswa kua ulilazimisha ndoa. what is 2 years my dear. endelea kumpenda na fanya mambo yako ya maendeleo. sijui una umri gani, lakini hata kama umri umekwenda, usijali, kila jambo lina mungu. una muda bado. things happen for a reason, huwezi kujua kwa nini anatoa nje swali la ndoa linapoanza, huenda ni kwa faida yako wewe mwenyewe.

Mfamaji · Feb 15, 2008

Hata mwingine itachukua muda pia. Fuata ushauri wa mtaalam hapo juu.

MzalendoHalisi · Feb 15, 2008

Mimi nasema dada- olewa ndo mda wako na bahati yako na mda muafaka kuzaa watoto wako!

Watu hapa wanakuzingua tu!

Kana-Ka-Nsungu · Feb 15, 2008

jn said:
kama mwanamke anaruhusiwa kutoa mahali... basi mimi ningeenda kutoa! Lakini hizi mila zetu za ajabu hazitaniruhusu.

Unaweza kumdakisha kidogodogo then akaenda kukitoa kwenu lakini sikushauri ufanye hivyo dadangu,mume bora huletwa na Mungu- hatafutwi!

Tulamanya · Feb 15, 2008

Mzalendohalisi said:
Mimi nasema dada- olewa ndo mda wako na bahati yako na mda muafaka kuzaa watoto wako!

Watu hapa wanakuzingua tu!

Thanks Mzalendo,

Dada JN rejea post zangu za jana on this!! This is the time, hamia kwa huyo jamaa!! Try to be real muda ndo huo! Hivi, ukisubiri ndoa (tuseme labda baada ya 5yrs to come)sasa hao watoto ukiwa zaa si wataonekana wajukuu zenu nyie bwana!! Mwambie jamaa the time is now......! hamia huko!!

That's ma msimamo, anyway!!

Kana-Ka-Nsungu · Feb 15, 2008

Dada Jn hii ni zawadi yako ya Valentino, ni kina dada wa The Supremes na ndani yake alikuwepo Diana Ross........

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=lcyUBY-dKDM

You Cant Hurry Love

I need love, love
To ease my mind
I need to find, find someone to call mine
But mama said

You cant hurry love
No, you just have to wait
She said love dont come easy
Its a game of give and take

You cant hurry love
No, you just have to wait
You got to trust, give it time
No matter how long it takes

But how many heartaches
Must I stand before I find a love
To let me live again
Right now the only thing
That keeps me hangin on
When I feel my strength, yeah
Its almost gone
I remember mama said:

You cant hurry love
No, you just have to wait
She said love dont come easy
Its a game of give and take

How long must I wait
How much more can I take
Before loneliness will cause my heart
Heart to break?

No I cant bear to live my life alone
I grow impatient for a love to call my own
But when I feel that i, I cant go on
These precious words keeps me hangin on
I remember mama said:

You cant hurry love
No, you just have to wait
She said love dont come easy
Its a game of give and take

You cant hurry love
No, you just have to wait
She said trust, give it time
No matter how long it takes

No, love, love, dont come easy
But I keep on waiting
Anticipating for that soft voice
To talk to me at night
For some tender arms
To hold me tight
I keep waiting
I keep on waiting
But it aint easy
It aint easy
But mama said:

You cant hurry love
No, you just have to wait
She said to trust, give it time
No matter how long it takes

You cant hurry love
No, you just have to wait
She said love dont come easy
Its a game of give and take

You Cant Hurry Love

Membe S K · Feb 15, 2008

JN, unachotakiwa kujuwa for sure ni kwamba je jamaa anakupenda kweli au lah. Kama anakupenda pia unataka ujuwe upeo wa penzi lake.

Hoping hasomi ushauri huu, ningependa kukushauri kwamba siku moja mwambie kwamba una mimba yake, reaction yake itakupa picha ya mwelekeo wa penzi lenu. Stupid test but works by 98%

Nzokanhyilu · Feb 15, 2008

Mzalendohalisi said:
jn,
Nenda dukani mnunulie pafume safi na shati nzuri na maua, na kadi nzuri ya Valentile- then surpise him! Pia siku hiyo mpikie chakula kitam sana- na nunua pia wine tam! Halafu vaa nguo nzuri sana utoke sexy yaani akikuona- mwenyewe achanganyikiwe! Pia paka pafume yako ile nzuri unukie vizuri!

Kwa kunyenyekea- mwangalie machoni- mwambie unampenda sana- umuulize kwa utulivu- ndoa yenu itakuwa lini? Na je mtaishi wawili lini na wapi? Mwambia ungependa sana kumzalia watoto wazuri!

Jishushe kwake ili kujua msimamo wake!

Siri ya mwanamme wa Bongo ukijishusha kama Demu tayari unaikuna roho yake!

Unajua siri ya mwanamme ni mambo madogo kama hayo!

Be humble!

yaani awe humble kwa siku moja tu? kama sio wizi wa mapenzi ni nini?

Nzokanhyilu · Feb 15, 2008

Mtu Mzima said:
Ina maana katika hii miaka yote 2 anakula vitu kama kawa? Namaanisha mnaingiliana kimwili?.Unajua waswahili husema kula kiku si lazima ufuge wako nyumbani sasa kama jamaa anapata service cheaply haoni sababu ya kubeba responsibilities ndo maana hapendelei topiki ya 'pingu'.
Jaribu kuongea nae kwa ukaribu ujue tatizo linalomkwamisha ili mlitatue vinginevyo nakutahadhalisha uwe mvumilivu na makini unaweza kuruka mkojo ukakanyaga kinyesi.
Kila la kheri katika ndoto zako

Kama anakula, kwani anayeliwa hapati raha?

Nzokanhyilu · Feb 15, 2008

Kana-Ka-Nsungu said:
Ndoa hailazimishwi dadangu, ndoa nyingi za kuforce huwa zina kasumba ya kuambatana na matatizo. Mpe muda hadi hapo yeye mwenyewe atakapoona yuko tayari. Kuwa ready kwa mwanaume sio kuhusiana na masuala ya fedha, kazi na makazi tu, kuna kuspend ujana pia au kwa lugha nyingine kula maisha kwanza kabla hujajicomit kwa mtu mmoja 'for the rest of your life'.
Pia kuna uwezekano kuwa kwa sasa jamaa anakuona sio 'wife material' na anaenjoy tu company yako, anaishi na wewe kwa mazoea tu so atakapoamua kuoa atakumwaga. Inawezekana pia uko under probation na kwa sasa anautumia muda huu kukupima kama unafikia standard ya kuwa 'Mrs' wake.
Ushauri wangu kwako ni kwamba inakubidi ujitume sana kwa wakati huu, hasa nyakati za 'mchezo', mfanyie kila kinachowezekana ili uondoe negative thoughts zozote ambazo anazo juu yako, yaani I mean umchanganye kabisa kwa mavituz yako hadi akupigie magoti mchozi ukimtoka na yeye mwenyewe kwa sauti kubwa aseme 'will you marry me?' Kama yote haya yakishindikana na unampenda, kamata basi uende Bagamoyo- hachomoki hapo!!

You never dissapoint.LOL!!

Nzokanhyilu · Feb 15, 2008

festog said:
Binti JN be careful na ushauri wa hawa vijana hapa, maneno yao ni mazuri sana (yaani ni ushauri mzuri sana)! Lakini mi najua,mtu ukifikia umri fulani, tabia yako huwa huwezi badilisha kabisa, unachoweza kufanya ni kuficha makucha na kuwa msanii!!
Nina maanisha, kama mpaka sahivi, huna hiyo tabia ambayo akina STEVE D wanashauri, nigumu kubadilika leo hii! Najua unaweza, uka act sahivi na ukamfanya huyo jamaa yako akaingia laini na mkafunga ndoa, lakini nakuhakikishia baada ya muda fulani utarudia your original character!! Hivyo ugomvu itapata permanent accommodation nyumbani kwenu!!

Mimi nakushauri yafuatayo:

1.Kama huyo jamaa haonekani kukumind, mpige chini tu immediately (kama unaweza), lakini mind you sisi wanaume hasa wabondo si very open sana, anaweza kuwa anakupenda sana (hasa wahehe,wakurya,wapare,wahaya)ila hakwambii because anafikiri akikwambia utavimba kichwa sana, na akikwambia mfunge ndoa now, utamletea kiburi because you are young and may be beautiful!! So anaona the only way to control you ni kukuacha bila ndoa!! Kama ni hivyo, ile kitu usimnyime kabisa, tena nakushauri kama unaweza kupata mimba naye iwe hivyo, na make sure ndugu zake wanafahamu hilo na uwe unaiva sana na either mama mkwe au wifis or shemeji's na uwe na mawasiliano ya mara kwa mara (ni muhimu
sana hili jambo)

2. Muombe Mungu sana, si maanishi uokoke!!

3. Usilazimishe ndoa hata siku moja, ndoa ya kanisani au msikitini or bomani ni vitu vya nje tu, si kamba au ulimbo wa kumnasia mume!! Be natural usiwe artificial kwa huyo jamaa yako(isipokuwa kwa hao relatives wake)

For your information myself niko na uhusiano wa aina hiyo na a wife to be, lakini tuna mtoto mmoja already! sina mpango wa kufunga ndoa now, cause no incentive to do that, ile kitu napata , niko na mtoto tayari, so why hurry!! - Pia ukifunga ndoa, majukumu yanalundikana toka kila upande cause every one will now for sure nyie mmeanza maisha rasmi, kumbe now haaaaaaaa!! kila mtu hasa wazee wanatuona wahuni,hatujakomaa kimaisha, kumbe hawajui on myside niko serious and I undestand what I am doing!

Best of luck!

Hiyo ya kumtega mimba sio wazo zuri. Inaweza backfire.

Nzokanhyilu · Feb 15, 2008

jn said:
ivi labda ningeuliza swali lingine.. what is the importance of marriage? Is it to legalise a relationship? To show family/friends that you are married? Or is it meeting the right person and wanting to spend all your life with her/him? If you ask me this is what marriage is - its not about anyone else or anything else its about meeting someone, you get on really well, you fall in love, you laugh together you help each other to grow and you love to hang-out together and therefore you want to be together. therefore, if someone says they love you, surely its easy to decide that they want to marry you!

Not necessarily. Yeye kwani anakuonaje wewe? Kuna kitu unaficha.

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