Casual Conversation: DAE struggle to maintain friendships?

Casual Conversation: DAE struggle to maintain friendships?

DiasporaUSA said:
Friends for keeps ?
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Ndio mkuu Diaspora USA.

Kuna urafiki wa kudumu(moyoni) na urafiki wa kufahamiana tu. Mara nyingi wale tunaosema ni marafiki zetu ni watu tunaojuana tu, tena sio hata kwa undani sana.

Ukiona tuna anza kuuchambua urafiki hivi na wengi wakikiri kutoweza kudumu kwenye urafiki au kutohitaji marafiki kabisa ni dalili tosha za mabadiliko makubwa katika mahusiano ya binadamu ambapo inatabiriwa kuwa mahusiano ya kudumu yatapungua sana au kukoma kabisa.

Leo ni urafiki. Kesho itakuwa ndoa na familia na baada ya hapo kila mtu atakuwa ‘anaruka mwenyewe’(chambilecho JD).

Hivyo basi ukitaka urafiki wa kudumu(for keeps) inabidi uji-condition.

You have to commit yourself to learn to make, keep and believe in friends.

And it should be true friendship. Not the kind made out feelings of insecurity or Maslow’s “the need to love and be loved” because once those feelings or needs are gone so would the friendship.

I believe in the rationality of man so if I want someone to be my friend I tell them so and the terms of the friendship thereof.

But no monkey business intended mkuu Diaspora.
 
Nowonmai said:
Ndio mkuu Diaspora USA.

Kuna urafiki wa kudumu(moyoni) na urafiki wa kufahamiana tu. Mara nyingi wale tunaosema ni marafiki zetu ni watu tunaojuana tu, tena sio hata kwa undani sana.

Ukiona tuna anza kuuchambua urafiki hivi na wengi wakikiri kutoweza kudumu kwenye urafiki au kutohitaji marafiki kabisa ni dalili tosha za mabadiliko makubwa katika mahusiano ya binadamu ambapo inatabiriwa kuwa mahusiano ya kudumu yatapungua sana au kukoma kabisa.

Leo ni urafiki. Kesho itakuwa ndoa na familia na baada ya hapo kila mtu atakuwa ‘anaruka mwenyewe’(chambilecho JD).

Hivyo basi ukitaka urafiki wa kudumu(for keeps) inabidi uji-condition.

You have to commit yourself to learn to make, keep and believe in friends.

And it should be true friendship. Not the kind made out feelings of insecurity or Maslow’s “the need to love and be loved” because once those feelings or needs are gone so would the friendship.

I believe in the rationality of man so if I want someone to be my friend I tell them so and the terms of the friendship thereof.

But no monkey business intended mkuu Diaspora.
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I got u
 
Wengi tunashindwa kutofautisha kufahamiana na urafiki. Ndio maana mtu anakwambia naomba tuwe marafiki.
Kwangu inakua ngumu sana kwa sababu urafiki ni kitu kinatokea kutokana na vitu au mambo yanayoweza kuwaleta pamoja.

Kiranga ameweka vizuri sana, kuwa rafiki yako mzuri wewe mwenyewe kwanza. Hapo haitakusumbua kwamba una rafiki mwingine au hauna kwa sababu tayari unae rafiki wa kudumu ambae ni wewe binafsi.

Unaweza ukawa na rafiki sio lazima uwasiliane nae au uchati nae kila wakati kumaanisha urafiki wenu upo kwenye kiwango bora, lakini ni pale ambapo ibapobidi au panapokua na uhitaji.

Ikumbukwe pia kuwa rafiki kuna gharama zake, inahitaji trust, muda na kujali. Hii sio kila mtu anaweza, ndio maana sio kila mtu anaweza kuwa na rafiki.

Kwa upande wangu naweza kuelewana na mtu kwa urahisi na haraka sana lakini haimaanishi turakua marafiki, inachukua muda sana na hii ni kwa vile nikishakua rafiki na mtu, mara nyingi inadumu sana. Nna rafiki nimesoma nae O level, tukaenda A level na hadi leo tuko marafiki na imekua kama ndugu lakini hatuwasiliani au kuonana mara kwa mara.

Rafiki mwingine niliyempenda ni kwa kuwa sio mnafiki. Ananiambia ukweli inapobidi kitu ambacho wengi wetu ni wanafiki, atakupamba au kukwambia vitu unavyopenda kusikia.

Mwisho wa siku usijilazimishe sana kufanya mambo ili kupata au kudumisha urafiki, acha vile ulivyo ndio iwe sababu ya mtu kukufaham na ijenge msingi wa urafiki wenu.

Bottom line, "Be your own best friend" (Kiranga, 2020) .
 
Paula Paul said:
Hello Guys,

I have a hard time making friends. I am not really shy or anything but it's really hard to me to stay in touch with people. It's like I quickly become bored with them. Na sio kwamba I want to be alone and enjoy my own company, Nah! I am pretty sociable and good at talking to "new" people and getting to know them, we would eat together, travel, watch movies and go out to event, party kwa kifupi kufurahia maisha but keeping them is next to impossible.

Baada ya hapo mawasiliano yanakufa kama vile hatujawahi kujuana kabla. I effort a lot but I usualy endup becaming unmotivated to even reply to people. Naweza nikaona text massage or emails ila I'll ignore it for days or a month. I really hate feeling obligated to talk to talk to people constantly unless kuna vitu muhimu ila sio "umeshindaje dear, jamani nimekumiss, shemeji ajambo? enhee nipe story, it gets annoying .

Nimejaribu kubadilika ila najikuta hata nikianza kujibu text messages naishia tuu "ha ha ha okay, fine, good, me too". Yani nakosa story za kupiga.

I had my old friends , from when I went to collage. Ila kama kawaida I am such a bad conversionalist. I Sometimes go a month or so without even massaging each other, and we just forgive eachother whenether we do see each other. Baada ya hapo tukiachana tuu najikuta siwezi tena kutuma tuma text, au kuwapigia simu, labda tuwe na kitu kingine cha kujadili mbali na mambo ya urafiki.

Nani mwingine anateseka na hii hali?

Guys is it okay not to have friends?

How do you maintain friends?

And people who don't have friends, Why don't you have friends? Is this what you want?.

G'day.
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If the theory cannot fit the fact then change the fact.

Nilichokiona, if I'm to flip your story, wewe uko vizuri labda wafurahia zaidi mazungumzo ya ana kwa ana kuliko phone conversation, kama ni hivyo inapaswa whoever want to befriended with you alijue hilo kwamba ndo njia ya pekee ya kudumisha urafiki na wewe.

Maana ukikutana na rafiki mkiwa na quality time convo yaenda vizuri, mkiachana kwenye phone convo haiendi poa.

Mawasiliano hujenga uhusiano, tatizo ni preferance of mode of communication...
 
Ww unavyoonekanika tuu una element za u slay queen mana una dram sana ww una hata jinsi ya uandishi wako kingereza kiswahili umoumo andika lugha moja
..

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Chabrosy said:
Ww unavyoonekanika tuu una element za u slay queen mana una dram sana ww una hata jinsi ya uandishi wako kingereza kiswahili umoumo andika lugha moja
..

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Yaani jitu kama wewe unakuta kabisa una mpenzi eti. Anakuita "my evrisingi"

Unamwambia mtoa mada kwamba
""" wewe unaonekana una ELEMENT za u SLAY QUEEN maana una DRAMA sana".

Kama wewe sio kilaz hii ni lugha gani umeandika? Kiswahili? Kingereza?
Au umechanganya lugha?

Kingereza hakikwepeki unaweza pia ukaamua kujifunza la sivyo wivu wa kike utakuua wewe. Unatamani sana ujue kingereza ila kuonea wivu wanaoandika kingereza hapakufanyi ujue kingereza.
Halafu ni drama na sio DRAM.


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Kinjeketile said:
Primary nilikuwa na best friend mmoja tu,O level nilikuwa na best friend mmoja tu,A level nilikuwa na best friend mmoja tu ambaye nilidumu nae mpaka university tulisoma chuo kimoja kozi tofauti,duniani huku nina best friend mmoja tu ambae pia amekuwa my business partner.

Waungwana Mimi nipo kundi gani,yaani siwezi kuwa na multiple friends, watu wengine nashirikiana nao if and only it's necessary.
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Mimi naona hii ni kawaida na ni zuri wala haina tatizo.
 
Below 40 said:
Tena wakina dada navaa na earphone kabisa hata kama anauliza kitu nikijibu tu napiga kimya
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Sasa Below 40 mbona nina mpango wa kukutafuta siku moja tupige story mbili tatu. Inamaana utakaa kimya?
 
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