ushauri pliz: Nafikiria divorce

[Ablessed]

simfeel tena hubby na ni wazi na yeye hanifeel. Cheatings zake zilinivuruga sana mwaka jana na juzi nilikua kama kichaa hivi ungeniona.

ila sasa nilishatadhimini, nikagundua kwamba hanipendi maana huwezi cheat live kiasi kile. Na mie nilikua sina mapenzi sanaaaa kwake tangu enzi za uboy/ugal friend ila nilijua nitampenda sana tu kama atanitreat vema, kumbe maybe na yeye alikua anataka sex tu, maana tuliona baada ya kuzaa mtoto.

anyway, mi nafikiria divorce ili niwe kwenye real marriage bana.

we ndoa gani mwanaume nalala nae kama mwanangu au bro wangu na hata akinivuta sijisikii kabisa na sometimes namwambia wazi amtafute hawara ampe kidogo maana mi simfeel.Yana anajua simfeel, mi huwa ni muwazi sana sinaga uongo.

Pole dada hapo kwenye red pamenigusa sana. Hiyo ndio sababu kuu inayokufanya ujisikie hivyo. So kwa reason hiyo mnaweza kudivorce tu hakuna shida. Maana cheating inapoteza kabisa radha ya upendo.

 

[Zemu]

ayanda je siku huyo jamaa akaamua nae akae mbali na ww kuogopa maisha yake ya ndoa yatavurugika wewe utafanyaje wakati labda ushaachana na mume wako? Mi nafikiri ishu hapo ni kutafuta kazi mbali na mumeo au uende likizo kidogo angalau distance itakufanya upate hamu ya kumuona au hata kusex nae na pia mpinge shetani kwani Mume wa Mtu nae Sumu.

 

[ayanda]

Pole dada hapo kwenye red pamenigusa sana. Hiyo ndio sababu kuu inayokufanya ujisikie hivyo. So kwa reason hiyo mnaweza kudivorce tu hakuna shida. Maana cheating inapoteza kabisa radha ya upendo.

kwakweli sieleweki.

mi kucheatiwa sio ishu, ishu ni kwamba alicheat kijinga sasa nikagundua then nikamdharau na kunuona less of a man ( mwanaume wa ukwee hafumaniwi hata kwenye cmu).

ishu ni kwamba, simfeel sababu ninashindwa kumuogopa wala kumpa respect as a man and head of a family.

hiyo ndo hasa sababu.

 

[ayanda]

ayanda je siku huyo jamaa akaamua nae akae mbali na ww kuogopa maisha yake ya ndoa yatavurugika wewe utafanyaje wakati labda ushaachana na mume wako? Mi nafikiri ishu hapo ni kutafuta kazi mbali na mumeo au uende likizo kidogo angalau distance itakufanya upate hamu ya kumuona au hata kusex nae na pia mpinge shetani kwani Mume wa Mtu nae Sumu.

jamani huyo jamaa sipo nae na wala hatuna mahusiano. Hebu soma vizuri bana

 

[Gorgeousmimi]

my deareast ayanda..
unajua mapenzi kitu chaajabu sana kwasababu mwanzoni yanakuwa yamekoleaaaa ila with time love fades away,then u become passionate with each other so inorder to keep it alive u r suppose to do something to recandle the love...try to do all the stuff that u guys did when u were dating..go out on a date, do something romantic to bring back all ur good times.
Tatizo jingine ni kwamba ukishaanza kuwa na negative thoughts u only think negatively... kama unaona mapenzi yameisha in general then dont stay in a miserable marriage..
Kumbuka ww ndio upo kwenye hii situation sio sisi kwahio maamuzi yote yapo juu yako!

 

[kashesho]

Ndio hapo mimi mnaponichosha kabisa....yaani kila kitu mnamsingizia shetani....huyu ni mpumbavu asiyejua nini anataka kwenye maisha, sasa shetani kachangia nini hapo.

upumbavu pia huwa unaletwa na shetani ili kuharibu mambo

 

[Riwa]

yaani tangu mwezi huu uanze nimekuwa nawaza sana divorce. Naona ndoa yangu ipo ipo tu, yaani hakuna maudhi wala furaha. Natambua wazi ana mtu wake ampendae tatizo huyo dada ni wife ya mtu pia ila na yeye huyo dada ni wazi keshamchoka mumewe kutokana na kusex na mume wangu kitandani kwa mumewe.

Na mi pia, nimshadate wengi tu tangu nina 19 yrs hadi sasa nikitafakari ndoa yangu na mi mwenyewe natamani ningeolewa na jamaa mmoja ambae ana 42 yrs maana hadi leo sijaona mwanaume wa ukwee kama huyu. Ana kauli, mkali kiasi, mcheshi na akipiga nje anapiga kimahesabu yani wife wake kumstukia aoteshwe.


Sasa jamaa ananitaka sana hadi leo, ana watoto 3. Mi nafikiria sijui ndoa yangu ife tu maana sioni faida wala hasara ya hii ndoa wala siwezi sema nampenda na wala simchukii hubby, simfeel chochote yani hata akinigusa ni kama nimeguswa na mwanangu wa kiume tu.

jamani naombeni ushauri ndoa yangu ina 4 yrs only.

ukijisikia kutukana we tukana tu, haina shobo

Hiyo ndoa ife mara ngapi!? Kwa hiyo description hapo hiyo ndoa ipo mochwari looong ago! Mnachoihitaji ni kuizika tu..

 

[ayanda]

Hiyo ndoa ife mara ngapi!? Kwa hiyo description hapo hiyo ndoa ipo mochwari looong ago! Mnachoihitaji ni kuizika tu..

no haipo mochwari.

ipo ICU Muhimbili na madaktari wamegoma siku ya 3 na serikali ipo kimya

 

[ERoni]

Kweli kama ulivyosema, ndoa yako imekuwa kama hali halisi ya nchi yako....yaani "kuna amani ila hamna furaha" amani enyewe iko hivi, ukipanda taxi/boda unajiuliza "hivi kweli leo nitafika home au ndo jamaa ananipeleka kunisulubisha"

Nakumbuka mimi na wewe tulilumbana sana kuhusu hili jambo, nashukuru tu kuwa nawe limekukera na huna furaha ya kweli moyoni, na ndio maana unataka ushauri toka kwa wadau.

Mmechokana saana, hampendani tena, hata hamu ya kupigana mibusu hamna? Ila mnaweza kuanza upya, in fact unaweza kuanza kubadilisha hiyo halithen mume wako atafuata tu....i promise you. Kwani unadhani yeye hatochoka maisha ya namna hiyo? Go somewhere on sabbatical, moja kati ya haya yatajitokeza, 1. Utamkumbuka sana, utataka umuone, muongee na kuyamaliza manake utam-"miss", ukiona hivyo, basi he still holds a place in your heart. 2. Hutamkumbuka, hutajali yuko na hali gani, hata ukisikia anaumwa hutajali sana ( basi ujue he's no place in your heart).

Huu ndio ukubwa dadangu

 

[Fixed Point]

what is the logic behind 42 years?
kuna kitu ambacho mimi kimenipita hapa?
please snowhite, gfsonwin, Kongosho, Mamndenyi, Azote, dada white, King'asti, MadameX, windowXP, Kaunga, BADILI TABIA, sakapal, naa, daughter Ablessed...... naombeni mwongozo

 

[gfsonwin]

what is the logic behind 42 years?
kuna kitu ambacho mimi kimenipita hapa?
please snowhite, gfsonwin, Kongosho, Mamndenyi, Azote, dada white, King'asti, MadameX, windowXP, Kaunga, BADILI TABIA, sakapal, naa, daughter Ablessed...... naombeni mwongozo

mmmh! mie huyu sitaki hata kuseme neno manake keshanchafua sasa nikifungua hili bakuli langu, hali ya hewa na uzi wake utafungiwa bureee............

 

[Fixed Point]

mmmh! mie huyu sitaki hata kuseme neno manake keshanchafua sasa nikifungua hili bakuli langu, hali ya hewa na uzi wake utafungiwa bureee............

ha haaaa, kina da sophy wapo wa kumwaga humu

 

[galindas]

Nimechemsha. pooooleeeee. U need more dan counselling my dear.

 

[destiny1]

ukianalise sana kuhusu maisha hautafanya kitu, go for what you want hakuna anayejua vizuri unavyojisikia zaidi yako mwenyewe, na mambo ya kusingizia watoto watapata shida tuache, kwa hivyo watoto wanadeserve wazazi wanaoishi kama hawa?

 

[Kinyau]

Ayanda mdogo wangu na wengine wenye mawazo haya:

1. Divorce si kitu rahisi kama unavyowaza, hapa simaanishi kuwa kama una matatizo usiconsider divorce ila, jiulize- nipo kwenye ndoa kwa sababu gani?

2. Kweli mumeo alikosa: Je alikuwa tayari kujirudi? Au ulimpa msamaha bila masharti? Amini kuna wake wengi wameumizwa - tena mume anatembea na ndugu au hausigeli hapo hapo nyumbani , akisafiri anahamia kwa mdogo wake, Ila na bado wanasameheana na maisha yanaendelea. Again this doesnt justify wewe ukubali kuwa cheated ila: Kwenye early years of marriage kuna turmoils nyingi sana - wewe unaona umekosea na yeye anaona kakosea kukuoa- So kaa chini tafakari nini unataka

3. Jiandae kupata some sort of gradual depression ya kijamii. Si unajua mwanaume hachekwi kwa kuachika ila mwanamke ndio ananyooshewa vidole

4. Ukiwa divorced : haina maana you will have a boyfriend atakaependa kihivyoooo. Pia hata uliye unamuona mzuri ila ukishakaa nae very very close utaona ana mapungufu tu. Na chances are: ukidivorce tu nayeye huyo ana retreat. Na kama huwajui wanaume anasema hampendi mkewe ila weee akirudi home full malove kama hakuwa na wewe. So u may go home with the experince kuwa na wewe umkinai mwenzio kumbe wewe ndio looser

5. Je kuhusu watoto: Can you do them a favor of loving them more than you love your self, yaani wape kipaumbele wawe na nyumba ya baba na mama

6. Take a holiday before this decision. Tena uwe a bit distant na huyo wa 42 years : just be your self and listen to your heart.

7. What if you seriously talk to your husband na umweleze juu ya wewe kuwa so discouraged na distance naye na ANZA wewe (it begins with you) kuonyesha mapenzi- remember love is a decision we make every day, while infatuation is a sexual desire and we confuse it with love. Jitahidi kuwa naye karibu , muulize what is it that went so wrong that he confides in the kimada and not you. Start telling him your things, success, failures, challenges, etc and encourage him.. In short love him unconditionally . You are still so young and there is alot of happines awating you. So use LOVE and PRAYER to conquer all. Never use revenge, never use a cold face-- use the magnet of love.

8. Use the advise of elders: Ni kweli marriage is not a bed of roses , we need to make it work na mtu akikosea tunamrudi na kumrudi hadi hapo atapojulikana ameshindiana. Uliza wamama wengine wanatumia busara gani kuhandle maisha, na mdogo wangu- you buiild your own hapiness , the power to be happy lies in your hands. others only compliment to it - so choose to love your marriage and choose to make it work , siamini kama mumeo amekithiri kiasi hicho ebu fanya efforts kwanza uone matokeo. (sorry for the long script)

 

[windowXP]

what is the logic behind 42 years?
kuna kitu ambacho mimi kimenipita hapa?
please snowhite, gfsonwin, Kongosho, Mamndenyi, Azote, dada white, King'asti, MadameX, windowXP, Kaunga, BADILI TABIA, sakapal, naa, daughter Ablessed...... naombeni mwongozo

mwache tu aendelee kufikiria twin wangu maana kufikiri ndio kazi ya ubongo

 

[Mamndenyi]

FP hapa acha waseme wengine
mimi nasoma komenti zao kwanza.

what is the logic behind 42 years?
kuna kitu ambacho mimi kimenipita hapa?
please snowhite, gfsonwin, Kongosho, Mamndenyi, Azote, dada white, King'asti, MadameX, windowXP, Kaunga, BADILI TABIA, sakapal, naa, daughter Ablessed...... naombeni mwongozo

 

[Fixed Point]

mmmh! mie huyu sitaki hata kuseme neno manake keshanchafua sasa nikifungua hili bakuli langu, hali ya hewa na uzi wake utafungiwa bureee............

mwache tu aendelee kufikiria twin wangu maana kufikiri ndio kazi ya ubongo

FP hapa acha waseme wengine
mimi nasoma komenti zao kwanza.

basi kama nyie wote hamtaki kumshauri huyu, twen zetu Mtwara

 

[Gorgeousmimi]

hivi hujanielewa niliposema sioni kasoro yeyote ya hii ndoa?

nimeshajitadhimini na nimegundua tuliwahi sana kufunga ndoa and maybe kulikua na alot of pressure maana tulikua tumeshazaa mtoto mmoja kabla.

inamaana mlifunga ndoa kwasababu mmezaa sio kwa sababu ya mapenzi!

 

[ayanda]

Ayanda mdogo wangu na wengine wenye mawazo haya:

1. Divorce si kitu rahisi kama unavyowaza, hapa simaanishi kuwa kama una matatizo usiconsider divorce ila, jiulize- nipo kwenye ndoa kwa sababu gani?

2. Kweli mumeo alikosa: Je alikuwa tayari kujirudi? Au ulimpa msamaha bila masharti? Amini kuna wake wengi wameumizwa - tena mume anatembea na ndugu au hausigeli hapo hapo nyumbani , akisafiri anahamia kwa mdogo wake, Ila na bado wanasameheana na maisha yanaendelea. Again this doesnt justify wewe ukubali kuwa cheated ila: Kwenye early years of marriage kuna turmoils nyingi sana - wewe unaona umekosea na yeye anaona kakosea kukuoa- So kaa chini tafakari nini unataka

3. Jiandae kupata some sort of gradual depression ya kijamii. Si unajua mwanaume hachekwi kwa kuachika ila mwanamke ndio ananyooshewa vidole

4. Ukiwa divorced : haina maana you will have a boyfriend atakaependa kihivyoooo. Pia hata uliye unamuona mzuri ila ukishakaa nae very very close utaona ana mapungufu tu. Na chances are: ukidivorce tu nayeye huyo ana retreat. Na kama huwajui wanaume anasema hampendi mkewe ila weee akirudi home full malove kama hakuwa na wewe. So u may go home with the experince kuwa na wewe umkinai mwenzio kumbe wewe ndio looser

5. Je kuhusu watoto: Can you do them a favor of loving them more than you love your self, yaani wape kipaumbele wawe na nyumba ya baba na mama

6. Take a holiday before this decision. Tena uwe a bit distant na huyo wa 42 years : just be your self and listen to your heart.

7. What if you seriously talk to your husband na umweleze juu ya wewe kuwa so discouraged na distance naye na ANZA wewe (it begins with you) kuonyesha mapenzi- remember love is a decision we make every day, while infatuation is a sexual desire and we confuse it with love. Jitahidi kuwa naye karibu , muulize what is it that went so wrong that he confides in the kimada and not you. Start telling him your things, success, failures, challenges, etc and encourage him.. In short love him unconditionally . You are still so young and there is alot of happines awating you. So use LOVE and PRAYER to conquer all. Never use revenge, never use a cold face-- use the magnet of love.

8. Use the advise of elders: Ni kweli marriage is not a bed of roses , we need to make it work na mtu akikosea tunamrudi na kumrudi hadi hapo atapojulikana ameshindiana. Uliza wamama wengine wanatumia busara gani kuhandle maisha, na mdogo wangu- you buiild your own hapiness , the power to be happy lies in your hands. others only compliment to it - so choose to love your marriage and choose to make it work , siamini kama mumeo amekithiri kiasi hicho ebu fanya efforts kwanza uone matokeo. (sorry for the long script)

nimekuelewa ila hapo kwenye namba 4 sikubaliani na wewe maana am not looking for love at all infact i dont in that shit called sijui love.

namba 3 sio ishu kivile maana jamii silali nao kitandani so i dont give a shit so much about this jamii thing.

mengine yote nadhani upo right, thanx alot kwa kushauri ki-utu uzima.