Uhuru siyo kama marais wengine Afrika Mashariki, oneni

[MOSSAD II]

A plane was about to crash and
there were only four parachutes on
the plane. Meanwhile there were
five people on it. The first person,
Lionel Messi, said, "I'm the world's
best footballer right now, I cant die
now!"
So he took one of the parachutes
and left. The second person, Bill
Gates, said, "I'm the richest man on
Earth, I can't die now, I'm needed in
the world!"
So he took the second parachute
and left. The third was the
Tanzanian President and he said,
"I'm the smartest President in the
world, so I cant die now, my people
still need me!"
So he took one and left.
Then it was left with the Pope and a
little school girl. The Pope said to
the little girl, "Take the last one, I'll
sacrifice my life for you."
The little girl replied, "No need for
that, There are two parachutes left."
The pope asked her, "How come?"
The little girl replied, "The
Tanzanian President took my school
bag." Ndio Huyu wa kwetu???

ha ha ha ha ha! jk bana!

 

[Mokoyo]

kinachomuangusha ni ukabila na ufisadi tu

 

[LorenzoA]

Kikwete aondoke tu bwana..... akisafiri mwenyewe jamaa zake wa mtaani watakula wap

 

[kadoda11]

Elli post yako ni kiboko imesambaa sana leo

and the fun thing is,original author wa ile post ya ndg Elli ambayo imefunika thread yako wala siyo huyo Elli.
alichofanya ni ku- edit tu paragraph na kuongeza rais wa tz as the character in the story.
next time ni jambo la busara pia kwa post kama ile kuweka source/link ya kule ulikoitoa kuliko kuichakachua tu na kuileta jf ili ujichukulue ujiko wa bure.
people should be aware that jf ni jumba la ma-GT.tunapo amua ku-google tuna-google kama hatuna akili nzuri.lol

check this out : www.akposjokes.com/joke/smart-president-1

 

[kinauche]

Ni vema na Rais wetu akawa hivyo lakini too late ngoja tuone hiyo awamu ya tano!

Yaani aache kusafiri nchi za nje au asiwe na msafara wa walinzi? Ukishajitengenea maadui ni lazima pia ujue jinsi ya kujilinda.

 

[Miki]

Kenyatta alifisadi Baba yake nchi ya Kenya. Tafiti ujue ni tajiri wa ngapi Africa. Haitaji pesa yeyote; ni heshima tu.
Hapo lazima atofautiane na maraisi kabwela wengine wa Africa.

 

[654]

na wewe umefumbwa macho na huyo fisadi kushusha 20% ya mshahara wake ili msioji ardhi aliyopora, na unajua kwa siku hiyo ardhi ambayo ndo uchumi wenyewe inamuingizia mshahara wake mara ngapi? jifunze kupembua pumba na mchele usiishi kwa kulishwa mamneno tumia mda wako vizuri kujifunza kijana usibweteke.

During the Presidential debate Hon Raila Odinga quashed a premise like what you have aluded to, Uhuru did not grab any land from anyone ( do you know of any?) he is a victim of history! Please be fair with the man, you remember he even spoke of giving away 30K Hectares of land in Wudanyi to wananchi even before he became Preso?

 

[mshunami]

A plane was about to crash and
there were only four parachutes on
the plane. Meanwhile there were
five people on it. The first person,
Lionel Messi, said, "I'm the world's
best footballer right now, I cant die
now!"
So he took one of the parachutes
and left. The second person, Bill
Gates, said, "I'm the richest man on
Earth, I can't die now, I'm needed in
the world!"
So he took the second parachute
and left. The third was the
Tanzanian President and he said,
"I'm the smartest President in the
world, so I cant die now, my people
still need me!"
So he took one and left.
Then it was left with the Pope and a
little school girl. The Pope said to
the little girl, "Take the last one, I'll
sacrifice my life for you."
The little girl replied, "No need for
that, There are two parachutes left."
The pope asked her, "How come?"
The little girl replied, "The
Tanzanian President took my school
bag." Ndio Huyu wa kwetu???

Duu! What happened to him with the school bag for I know that it was not a parachute?

 

[Mwana kinyonga]

Nimeanza kumkubali uhuru kinyata taratibu,
juzi alionekana mtaani akiwa peke yake ananunua karanga kwa mtoto mmoja aliyekuwa anauza karanga akampa 2000 hata hakudai chenchi
sasa ameonekana arusha bla shamrashamra yeyote bg up kenyata

Kabla ya kuchaguliwa kuwa raisi nilimuona pande za Rose garden anagonga kinywaji, alikua na walinz kama wa2 tu & the guy is very social

 

[Genekai]

Mkuu sixgates, kama kuna kitu umenifurahisha ni jinsi ulivyomaliza. Kwamba "hana rafiki wa kudumu wala adui wa kudumu, ila ana maslahi ya kudumu!

 

[Mamzalendo]

A plane was about to crash and
there were only four parachutes on
the plane. Meanwhile there were
five people on it. The first person,
Lionel Messi, said, "I'm the world's
best footballer right now, I cant die
now!"
So he took one of the parachutes
and left. The second person, Bill
Gates, said, "I'm the richest man on
Earth, I can't die now, I'm needed in
the world!"
So he took the second parachute
and left. The third was the
Tanzanian President and he said,
"I'm the smartest President in the
world, so I cant die now, my people
still need me!"
So he took one and left.
Then it was left with the Pope and a
little school girl. The Pope said to
the little girl, "Take the last one, I'll
sacrifice my life for you."
The little girl replied, "No need for
that, There are two parachutes left."
The pope asked her, "How come?"
The little girl replied, "The
Tanzanian President took my school
bag." Ndio Huyu wa kwetu???

Jamani jamani nimecheka lakini pia kimeniuma.

 

[Cynic]

The little girl replied, "No need for
that, There are two parachutes left."
The pope asked her, "How come?"
The little girl replied, "The
Tanzanian President took my school
bag." Ndio Huyu wa kwetu???

Ile hotuba aliyotoa juzi ni kama kuchukua school bag ...

 

[ndomyana]

Ukweli unauma fanya kazi wewe utaolewa muda so mrefu ukiendekeza kujilegeza

tumia makalio kukalia sio kufikilia

 

[Tuyuku]

A plane was about to crash and
there were only four parachutes on
the plane. Meanwhile there were
five people on it. The first person,
Lionel Messi, said, "I'm the world's
best footballer right now, I cant die
now!"
So he took one of the parachutes
and left. The second person, Bill
Gates, said, "I'm the richest man on
Earth, I can't die now, I'm needed in
the world!"
So he took the second parachute
and left. The third was the
Tanzanian President and he said,
"I'm the smartest President in the
world, so I cant die now, my people
still need me!"
So he took one and left.
Then it was left with the Pope and a
little school girl. The Pope said to
the little girl, "Take the last one, I'll
sacrifice my life for you."
The little girl replied, "No need for
that, There are two parachutes left."
The pope asked her, "How come?"
The little girl replied, "The
Tanzanian President took my school
bag." Ndio Huyu wa kwetu???

Mkuu nimecheka ile mbaya

 

[Noti mpya tz]

Msafara ni wa gari 40...na Ruto alimsindikiza hadi namanga halafu akarudi Nairobi

rais anaeishi maisha ya kawaida kabisa ni wa Uruguay tu

 

[Chivundu]

sio hapendi kuzurura, hakuna wakumualika. nakumbuka alienda Urusi wala rais Putin hakuhangaika nae, na baada ya hapo akajipeleka China nako akapokelewa kwa kusuasua tu. Tofauti na Vasco Da gama wetu. mara kaalikwa Ufaransa, mara Obama kamualika, Mara kaitwa Yemen mara Rais wa china kaja, mara kaalikwa kwenye Economic forum conference and so on......
kwa kifupi ni watu wawili tofauti.

''Ikumbukwe huyu rais hapendi kuzurura nchi za watu anaamini uchumi wa kenya sio yeye peke yake anaweza kuuinua ndio maana kadeligate power kwa waziri wa mashauriano ya kigeni..ana nguvu sana.''

Raisi wako ni raisi wa shamba la bibi. Mkono mtupu haulambwi. Jamaa hacheki cheki yule linapokuja suala la maslahi ya Kenya.

 

[Augustine Moshi]

Usichofahamu ni kwamba Kenya ilishajitangaza nje kwa sababu hiyo nchi ni jimbo (state) tu la Uingereza na Marekani.

Matunda ya Tanzania kujitangaza Duniani yamezaa matunda, mwaka jana 2013 kwa mara ya kwanza tuliongoza kwa kutembelewa na watalii wengi kuliko nchi yeyote ya Afrika mashariki. Huko nyuma Kenya ilikuwa ni kinara kwa kila mwaka. Hongera uongezi wa Rais Kikwete. Sijachimba ya uhuru wa habari! We acha tu. Itapofika wakati nitatoa mada maalim kuhusu mafanikio ya mbinu za serikali ya JK.

Tumepata UHURU miaka 52 iliyopita bado unasingizia wakoloni tu! Nchi nyingi sana zilipata uhuru baada yetu na hali zao sasa ni bora zaidi, na hawasingizii wakoloni. Mfano mmoja ni Botswana.

Madai yako kwamba mwaka jana Tanzania ilipata watalii wengi zaidi kuliko Kenya si ya kweli. Internet search inaonyesha Kenya walipata watalii wa nje milioni moja na nusu, na sisi tulipata milioni moja na laki moja. Justify your claim.

Kwa vyovote vile, ni ukweli kwamba Rais Kikwete anapenda sana fahari na kujionyesha (bila kujali gharama kwa taifa) wakati Rais Uhuru Kenyatta ni muadilifu zaidi na hana makuu.

 

[Cynic]

[

EE
marais ni chaguo la Mungu?

 

[Kiranga]

Tumepata UHURU miaka 52 iliyopita bado unasingizia wakoloni tu! Nchi nyingi sana zilipata uhuru baada yetu na hali zao sasa ni bora zaidi, na hawasingizii wakoloni. Mfano mmoja ni Botswana.

Madai yako kwamba mwaka jana Tanzania ilipata watalii wengi zaidi kuliko Kenya si ya kweli. Internet search inaonyesha Kenya walipata watalii wa nje milioni moja na nusu, na sisi tulipata milioni moja na laki moja. Justify your claim.

Kwa vyovote vile, ni ukweli kwamba Rais Kikwete anapenda sana fahari na kujionyesha (bila kujali gharama kwa taifa) wakati Rais Uhuru Kenyatta ni muadilifu zaidi na hana makuu.

Uhuru angekuwa muadilifu zaidi na hana makuu angerudisha ardhi yote baba yake aliyopora, hapo kidogo angeanza kutu shawishi serious observers kwamba ni muadilifu na hataki makuu.

Sio kutupia watu some crumbs left on the table tu mshaanza kumsifu ni muadilifu zaidi na hana makuu. Wakati the lions share of some grotesque landgrabbing still goes to the Kenyatta family all these years after independence.

 

[AL SHARPTON]

Uhuru angekuwa muadilifu zaidi na hana makuu angerudisha ardhi yote baba yake aliyopora, hapo kidogo angeanza kutu shawishi serious observers kwamba ni muadilifu na hataki makuu.

Sio kutupia watu some crumbs left on the table tu mshaanza kumsifu ni muadilifu zaidi na hana makuu. Wakati the lions share of some grotesque landgrabbing still goes to the Kenyatta family all these years after independence.

Watafuta maneno na wakikuyu. Watakuja kukutukana.
Subiri