The love of my life

[mysteryman]

How can your current partner be mchumba wako kama hata hujamtambulisha? au ni uchumba ule wa kuvikana pete tu?
Since you are not sure about your feelings for her anymore, just cancel the introduction to your family. That will remove part of the pressure just then. Then take your time to evaluate the situation again.
Just because you have cancelled the introduction does not mean you have to break up. and if you do break up, this does not mean that you have to replace her immediately. and even if you decide to break up with A, and start a relationship with B, this does not mean that you have to marry B. Sio lazima uanze nae pale utakapo ishia na mchumba wako wa sasa. it is a new relation that will come with its challenges as soon as you stop considering her as a replacement.

well said my dia.....muhusika fuata ushauri huu...

 

[mysteryman]

inawezekana muhusika tamaa za kumuonja huyo rafiki ndo zinakusumbua, yawezekana kabisa ukido nae nafsi yako itaridhika na kujiona shujaa na kidume kwa kumpata mtoto mzuri kama huyo kisha uta realize kama mchumba wako bado ana nafasi kubwa ktk maisha yako.....

 

[The secretary]

Jaribu kukaa mbali na huyo msichama mpya kwa muda ili kuona kama feelings zako zitakuwepo bado

 

[PetCash]

Thank you Guys for your resourcefull answers- RR, AshaDii, Mathematics, Ma doudou. Naona nikianza kuapply ushauri wa mathematics pamoja na wa RR (time ni silaha muhimu sana kwenye haya maisha), then naaply wa Ma doudou parallel na wa ashaDii naweza jifunza kitu...

 

[PetCash]

All I can say is.....huna msimamo! Je, do you remember ni nini kilikufanya ukafall in love na mchumba wako??

Trust me nina msimamo- She was and is a luvly, girl compassionate and with dignity. But this one is much better. Nazungumzia communication, yani mchumba wangu huwa tuna shida kwenye hiyo sehem....anaweza kuja amenuna na ana kisirani hasa na nikabaki namuangalia la kufanya sina! Wakati the new girl is my best friend yani vyovyote atakavyokuja I know how to handle her....I realy enjoy the moments we spend together na anawatreat ndugu zangu far better than my fiancee(I live with my younger sister and brother). Its only fair nikiconsider hizi alama za nyakati kabla sijaendelea kwa sababu i believe mm nikifunga ndoa ndio the one and only! (kama haya yangenitokea kwenye ndoa I am confident kwamba nisingemuacha my wife)

 

[The Finest]

GUYS I HAVE MET THE LOVE OF MY LIFE AND UNFORTUNATELY I AM ALREADY COMMITED, sijamsaliti mchumba wangu ila nahitaji ushauri ili ni make this big decision of my life...

Aisee...

 

[The secretary]

Trust me nina msimamo- She was and is a luvly, girl compassionate and with dignity. But this one is much better. Nazungumzia communication, yani mchumba wangu huwa tuna shida kwenye hiyo sehem....anaweza kuja amenuna na ana kisirani hasa na nikabaki namuangalia la kufanya sina! Wakati the new girl is my best friend yani vyovyote atakavyokuja I know how to handle her....I realy enjoy the moments we spend together na anawatreat ndugu zangu far better than my fiancee(I live with my younger sister and brother). Its only fair nikiconsider hizi alama za nyakati kabla sijaendelea kwa sababu i believe mm nikifunga ndoa ndio the one and only! (kama haya yangenitokea kwenye ndoa I am confident kwamba nisingemuacha my wife)

siku zote communication ni better instruments kaa nae chini umweleze kuwa hupendezwi na hiyo tabia yake ya kununa kuwatreat vibaya nduguzo

 

[Kayla]

daa i had the same story lakin yangu tofauti kidogo mm nilipendwa na rafiki mkaka aliekuwa commited lakin mm nilikuwa wa kwanza kukutana nae then tukapotezana na baada ya miaka kadhaa tukakutana by coincidence then tukaanza kuwa marafiki lakin this time akanimbia ameshajicommit kwa msichana mwingine,lakin nilikuwa na misimamo kwa sababu sikutaka kuharibu urafiki wao....Sasa mimi ninachoona kwenye hiyo story yako ni kuwa huyo rafiki uliekutana nae ni selfish sana kwa sababu anajuwa ww una mtu wako bado anakuchomekea anakupenda ili uachane na mchumba wako..kuwa makini sana ndugu yangu wanawakewa mjini ni wajanja sana...atakuja kukugeuka huyo ukija kuachana na mchumba wako kwani wat goes around comes around...

 

[Kbd]

daa i had the same story lakin yangu tofauti kidogo mm nilipendwa na rafiki mkaka aliekuwa commited lakin mm nilikuwa wa kwanza kukutana nae then tukapotezana na baada ya miaka kadhaa tukakutana by coincidence then tukaanza kuwa marafiki lakin this time akanimbia ameshajicommit kwa msichana mwingine,lakin nilikuwa na misimamo kwa sababu sikutaka kuharibu urafiki wao....Sasa mimi ninachoona kwenye hiyo story yako ni kuwa huyo rafiki uliekutana nae ni selfish sana kwa sababu anajuwa ww una mtu wako bado anakuchomekea anakupenda ili uachane na mchumba wako..kuwa makini sana ndugu yangu wanawakewa mjini ni wajanja sana...atakuja kukugeuka huyo ukija kuachana na mchumba wako kwani wat goes around comes around...

Na mimi ndicho nilichokiona, huyo mdada sio mtu mzuri kabisa. Anafahamu kabisa unamchumba na yeye anajileta leta na kujilengesha kwako sio fair. Halafu inaoneka ulikuwa wazi sana kwake kuliko kawaida na yeye akatumia udhaifu huo kukutega. Huyo mdada nadhani yuko kwako kimikakati zaidi kuliko unavyofikiria.

Siku zote wahenga wanasema........majuto ni mjukuu........hata sijui kwa nini walisema hivyo.

 

[bombu]

Petcash.... Kusema kweli mtihani ulio nao ni mkubwa mno... Kwa huyo mchumba wako inauma sana unapokuta kua Mpenzi wako ambae karibu mnataka kutambulishana kwa wazazi hakupendi na apenda mwanamke mwingine... Ila inauma zaidi ukute kua huyo mchumba wako anajilazimisha kuoana na wewe hadi mmefunga ndoa ndio unagundua kua he is forever inlove with another woman. I am a woman... Hivo I understand na I know...

Usione watu wapo kwenye ndoa zao wametulia.. kuna watu ambao hutamani warudi nyuma na warekebishe makosa walo fanya... makosa mengine uhusisha wrong choice of choosing a spouse. Kama kweli una hakika na feelings zako dhidi ya hao wanawake.... Kwamba mchumba to be humpendi na wampenda rafiki yako then ni bora uwe wazi na umweleze mchumba to be hata kama uliji commit. Lakini hata hivo jiulize haya maswali ambayo wewe pekee ndio una majibu kabla ya kuchukua maamuzi.

• Huyo mchumba to be ulichaguliwa ama ulichagua na kumtongoza mwenyewe? Kama jibu ni NDIO... The it is not that simple kuvunja commitment yako.
• Huyo mchumba to be umekwisha wahi lala nae? Kama jibu ni NDIO... Then ukute kinachokusukuma kwa yule ni more of tamaa sababu hujampata bado na hivo kumuacha itakua ni selfish move.
• Umekaa nae kwa mda gani katika mahusiano? Ulimuahidi kua utamuoa na asi commit kwingine... sababu hapa aidha uwe gentle man to honor your word or uwe selfish.
• Umri wako na wa mchumba to be ni mingapi.... If she is less than 24 atakua less stressed kuliko if she is more than 28.

Hata hivo pamoja na kusema umesema hayo kwenye post kuna mengi ya kuzingatia kabla ya kuchukua maamuzi... Itabidi utumie busara ya hali ya juu sana.

Best of Luck.

Dada, I salute you, umeongea na kudadavua kwa undani wake. Either he takes your advice or leaves it, its upon himself.

Mara nyingi wanadamu huwa tunatawaliwa na tamaa za miili. ninaamini kuwa not all people wanamarry out of love, so by word of mouth huwa tunasema "NAKUPENDA" bila kutambua kuwa all that we need kucement relationship ni compatibility na kukubaliana katika mapungufu yetu. Na tunashindwa kutambua mapema kuwa kila kitu huzoeleka machoni kwa kutazamwa ama kwa muda mrefu au mara kwa mara. Siku zote tutavutiwa na kitu ama jambo jipya maishani mwetu. Hivyo ni vyema kutumia busara kujudge na kung'amua la sivyo utaishia kuwa unapenda kila kilicho kipya. Na NOTE: KIPYA HAKINYEMI..........>by msemaji mmoja hapo juu

 

[PetCash]

siku zote communication ni better instruments kaa nae chini umweleze kuwa hupendezwi na hiyo tabia yake ya kununa kuwatreat vibaya nduguzo

The problem here Ma doudou ni kwamba nilikuwa sijui kama naweza kumbembeleza, kumpetipeti, kuongea mda mrefu na mdada mpaka nilipomjua huyu rafiki mpya(never experienced close relationship na mdada). Yani i ddnt know kwamba naweza kurelate na msichana hivyo ss ndo nakuja kuona hii kwa mara ya kwanza and I must admit its the best feeling to experience. Hata waliooa watasema yani its so nice kuelewana na hun wako kiundani kabisa...I've always vowed to keep my promises lakini hapa nimeshikwa pabaya!

 

[Kbd]

The problem here Ma doudou ni kwamba nilikuwa sijui kama naweza kumbembeleza, kumpetipeti, kuongea mda mrefu na mdada mpaka nilipomjua huyu rafiki mpya(never experienced close relationship na mdada). Yani i ddnt know kwamba naweza kurelate na msichana hivyo ss ndo nakuja kuona hii kwa mara ya kwanza and I must admit its the best feeling to experience. Hata waliooa watasema yani its so nice kuelewana na hun wako kiundani kabisa...I've always vowed to keep my promises lakini hapa nimeshikwa pabaya!

Sasa kitu gani kilikuzuia kufanya hivyo vyote kwa mchumba wako no. 1??

 

[PetCash]

Sasa kitu gani kilikuzuia kufanya hivyo vyote kwa mchumba wako no. 1??

Honestly I dont know! Tumefanya things kwa kiasi chake lakini mi mambo mengine nawaona watu wanafanya bila aibu(si mambo mabaya) kama kupita njiani mmeshikana mikono, staying somewhere toking just the two of you...nikawa nasema not my thing ila sasa nimexperience practically

 

[Ngekewa]

Habari zenu wana jamii?
Mimi ni kijana mtanzania mzalendo-nina kazi ambayo namshukuru Mungu inanifaa. Ninataraji kufunga ndoa mwakani. Nampenda mchumba wangu, ila tatizo nililonalo ni hili : mwaka jana january nilikuwa namuona msichana fulani kila siku asubuhi wakati naenda kazini. yeye pia anakuwa anaenda kazini, kwa hiyo tunaongozana hadi kituoni tunapanda gari moja-tunaachana njiani. Huyu mshichana ni mzuri sana kwa kumuangalia na ana adabu ambayo nimeiona kwa watu wachache sana. Hana makuu na humsalimu mtu vizuri kama inavyohitajika. Nikaona si mbaya tukawa friends. Basi toka february mwaka jana tukawa friends. Tukaanza mawasiliano madogomadogo, mara simu kwa sana, mara lunch dinner,movies kutembebeana home. Nikamtambulisha kwa mchumba wangu(Ila my fiancee hampendi kabisa!).
Tatizo linaanza: kwa hiki kipindi tulichohang out together tumejikuta ni marafiki close sana(mimi niko very timid na huwa siko comfortable arround girls hata mchumba wangu, lakini ajabu huyu rafiki yangu ndo msichana wa kwanza in my life kuwa that karibu na simuonei aibu na we discuss ideas deeply).
Kumuelezea tu ni mzuri sanaa, ana tabia nzuri sana yani perfect wife material, ni msomi na ameniambia wazi ananipenda.
Kiukweli nampenda sana kuliko mchumba wangu, ila sasa natakiwa kumtambulisa mchumba wangu kwetu wiki ijayo na home wanajua ntamleta siku iyo.
GUYS I HAVE MET THE LOVE OF MY LIFE AND UNFORTUNATELY I AM ALREADY COMMITED, sijamsaliti mchumba wangu ila nahitaji ushauri ili ni make this big decision of my life...

Wengi wamejikuta ndowa zao hazidumu kwa kutaka kutekeleza ahadi wakati roho zao zimeshapenda kengine. Maadam hujaowa owa yule unaempenda kwa wakati huu ili ukiingia kwenye pingu hutosema kuwa kulikuwa na fulani nilimpenda zaidi!

 

[The secretary]

Follow your heart ma friend! Na majuto ni mjukuu! I enjoy watching Devil's double!

sometimes your heart can lead you to a hole where it difficult to pull out.

 

[Mgalatia]

Nina mfano wa mtu aliyesema kama usemavyo 'love of ..' na kumuacha mke wake kumbe huyo 'love' ni mwathirika. Jamaa kanunua shida kubwa sasa. Hebu wapime wote kama utaweza halafu amua.

 

[reina]

Habari zenu wana jamii?
Mimi ni kijana mtanzania mzalendo-nina kazi ambayo namshukuru Mungu inanifaa. Ninataraji kufunga ndoa mwakani. Nampenda mchumba wangu, ila tatizo nililonalo ni hili : mwaka jana january nilikuwa namuona msichana fulani kila siku asubuhi wakati naenda kazini. yeye pia anakuwa anaenda kazini, kwa hiyo tunaongozana hadi kituoni tunapanda gari moja-tunaachana njiani. Huyu mshichana ni mzuri sana kwa kumuangalia na ana adabu ambayo nimeiona kwa watu wachache sana. Hana makuu na humsalimu mtu vizuri kama inavyohitajika. Nikaona si mbaya tukawa friends. Basi toka february mwaka jana tukawa friends. Tukaanza mawasiliano madogomadogo, mara simu kwa sana, mara lunch dinner,movies kutembebeana home. Nikamtambulisha kwa mchumba wangu(Ila my fiancee hampendi kabisa!).
Tatizo linaanza: kwa hiki kipindi tulichohang out together tumejikuta ni marafiki close sana(mimi niko very timid na huwa siko comfortable arround girls hata mchumba wangu, lakini ajabu huyu rafiki yangu ndo msichana wa kwanza in my life kuwa that karibu na simuonei aibu na we discuss ideas deeply).
Kumuelezea tu ni mzuri sanaa, ana tabia nzuri sana yani perfect wife material, ni msomi na ameniambia wazi ananipenda.
Kiukweli nampenda sana kuliko mchumba wangu, ila sasa natakiwa kumtambulisa mchumba wangu kwetu wiki ijayo na home wanajua ntamleta siku iyo.
GUYS I HAVE MET THE LOVE OF MY LIFE AND UNFORTUNATELY I AM ALREADY COMMITED, sijamsaliti mchumba wangu ila nahitaji ushauri ili ni make this big decision of my life...

duh petcash umenikumbusha what happened back then.......any way what i can see here is that huyo bestfrnd wako is selfish as it has been said. cause toka mwanzo alijua upo committed but bado akaongeza ukaribu na wewe. and it seems there is no gud communication kati yako na huyo uliyekuwa committed kwake coz otherwise usingekua karibu na huyo mpya. just be carefull, take your time and allow yourself to make the right decision because if you make a mistake now and marry the wrong one it will cost you all ure life. mshirikishe MUNGU pia naamini atakuongoza sehemu sahihi.

 

[pmwasyoke]

Usiogope kumwumiza huyo mchumba kwa kumwacha sasa kama humpendi tena. utamwumiza zaidi ukimwoa kama wajibu.