Mawasiliano na Mahusiano

[KipimaPembe]

ok DC kwa uelewa wangu mdogo nahisi wanawake wengi wanapushiwa na waume zao, ni ngumu sana mwanamke kuamua kuwa na mwanamme nje bila kuwa na sababu nzito sana,,, mwanaume inaweza kuwa tu tamaa na hiyo baioloji yao ila mwanamke aisee huwa ni ngumu sana ukiona ujue maji ya shingo na once mume akijirudi huwa hata hatamani hata kumwona huyo mtuwe na hukimbia bila kugeuka nyuma.......japo wapo wenye hiyo hulka lakini sio wengi

Hiyo ni excuse ya wanawake KARIBIA WOTE, ila ni uongo!

 

[Nyamayao]

The same lame excuse, sikubali!!! Faraja haitoki kwa mtu mwingine, faraja inatoka ndani yako mwenyewe kwa kujua thamani yako, full stop. Mwanamke akikosa faraja ndani ya ndoa, amechangia kukosekana kwa hiyo faraja. Hakuna kosa la ndani ya ndoa linaloletwa na mtu mmoja, wote mnachangia. Katika kutafuta solution, kila mmoja anajiona yeye yuko right, ndo chanzo cha misemo hiyo.

Kama huyo mme alikuwa ni mtu mbaya wa kihivyo, msingefunga ndoa!! something has changed somewhere, ndo maana watu wanaanza ku-behave wierdly. Siri ni wote kujua kuwa mna makosa na muwe tayari kuyafanyia kazi.

pulizzz....zipo kibao sana....makucha yote yanaonekana baada ya kuingia ndani, huko nje kila mmoja alijonyesha ni mwema kwa mwenzie!

 

[KipimaPembe]

huyo kwa vile ulimgundua tu, ila wanawake huwaa tuna mapenzi ya kweli, na ikitokea umetoka ujue mambo ni mazito pamoja na kwamba jamii haiwezi kukuelewa ila ndio hali halisi inavokuwa, unavumilia mpaka unaona huwezi tena, na hapo kama ukipata washauri wabaya ni rahisi sana kuanguka dhambini aisee, huyo wako alikwambia kweli unachafulwa tu, sababu tendo lile kwa mwanamke linahitaji akili itulie na ujione uko safe, wasiwasi haukufikishi hata kimara kwa safari ya arusha, wakati wa tendo akili yake inazongwa na mambo mengi na mawazo......

Mie nawaambia wanaume wawapende wake zao na kuwahakikishia wako safe na kuwapa mapenzi yooote waone kama kuna mke atakayetoka, mpe mkeo muda wa kutosha, imagine kila siku mtu saa saba nane, kalewa, mara masimu yanaanza kuingia, msg ..maneno yote mazuri anaambiwa hawala

Wanawake ndo notorious kwa kukosa misimamo, usijidanganye eti wanawake wana mapenzi ya kweli. Hakuna generalization ya namna hii, ni kujilisha upepo. Wanawake wanadanganyika kirahisi mno, na historia inawahukumu hivyo, usitudanganye hapa!!

 

[The Finest]

Wakuu naona hapa mnatupiana mpira tu kila mtu anavutia upande wake sijui wanawake hivi wanaume vile, that's not a legitimate reason. If your significant other is no longer significant, then you tell them that things aren't working out. You don't cheat...

 

[KipimaPembe]

pulizzz....zipo kibao sana....makucha yote yanaonekana baada ya kuingia ndani, huko nje kila mmoja alijonyesha ni mwema kwa mwenzie!

Ni kweli kuna watu huwa ni wazuri wa kuficha tabia zao halisi na kuzifichua pale wanapoona wameshashinda, yaani hatari ya kufichua tabia imeshapungua.

Hapo ndo inapotakiwa uamzi mgumu, BREAK the whole thing altogether. Kwa mwanamke kuvunja mahusiano hata ndoa, mara nyingi ni rahisi kwa sababu habebi responsibility. Wanaume mara nyingi wanapinga kuvunja sababu wanaogopa kuwa victimized kwa mali zao kugawiwa wake, n.k.

Logic ya kuvunja iko hapa. Hata wakatoliki wako rigid, ila wanakubali ikiwa kuna major issue iliyofichwa, yaani ukathibitisha kuwa mme wako anatabia fulani ambayo alikuwa amekuficha kabla ya kufunga ndoa, wanatamka kuwa haikuwa ndoa.

Tatizo ni kukimbilia kwenye CHEATING kutafuta relief ya abbusive husband, it don't work out. Akijua, anaifanya inakuwa vicious cycle, nani ataweza kuprove kuwa mwenzie ndo alianza??

 

[Nyamayao]

...usinikumbushe uchungu, pamoja na kuombwa msamaha zaidi ya mara saba na serial cheater wangu,
ipo siku nilimsikia kwa masikio yangu akijigamba hajutii!...aiseee....

...anyway, nikisemacho hapa ni kila tunapochimba kutafuta sababu iliyopelekea mtu ku cheat nje, naona kama
tunatafuta tu kuhalalisha matendo haya ambayo yamekatazwa kwenye mafunzo ya kiimani na hata kidunia.

Kwa mtazamo na msimamo wangu, na kwakuwa nilishawahi kuishi kwenye mazingira ya kujifanya mume *****
mwenye uwezo wa kuyafikiria yote yanayoweza justify cheating...mwishowe niligundua ONCE A CHEATER ALWAYS A CHEATER!
...mwenzio akisha cheat mwanzo kwa sababu yeyote ile hataacha, bora kuachana tu!
hakuna mawasiliano aina yeyote yatayojenga na kurudisha trust iliyokwisha vunjika...

wakatabahu!

juzi nipo home niliboreka 2 nikasema ngoja nimuulize huyu m2(msukuma) yupo kona gani na mie nikapate 1, nilivyofika nilimkuta yupo na frnds zake na kabinti karembo, wanaume wote kwenye kampani wameona na wake zao nawafahamu, ghafla kale karembo kakanyanyuka kakaenda kukaa counter, kumbe ni karembo ka mmoja wa frnds zake msukuma ambae wiki chache zilizopita ilibambwa msg ya kimada ya kumshukuru kwa jinc alivyo mtamu na anavyompa vzr, kasheshe lilikuwa kasheshe hapo, mke anataka kufungasha vilivyo vyake, wanaume wanamtetea frnd wao kwa kumbembeleza wife alegeze masharti na misamaha ya kutosha, mume alilia na kuomba msamaha wa kila aina aina week nzima hakwenda job madai pressure imepanda kwa kitendo kilichotokea(madai yake kumweka mke wake ktk hali ya wacwac).....mxsiii.....ONCE A CHEATER ALWAYS A CHEATER!

 

[Smile]

mmoja akizidiwa nguvu anaanza tu kujifeel inferior, helpless as a result and create a kind of depression! Hali hiyo inakuwa ni ugonjwa mbaya kwenye mapenzi, na pindi akipata mtu anaemjali, anamsikiliza na kumshauri, anajenga tabia ya kumuamini na hata ck ya kuanza katabia ka kucheat ataona kama anamtendea ukarimu mtu wake wa karibu! (hii inawakumba zaidi wanawake)" .............mwisho wa kunukuu.

............"ukosefu wa mawasiliano (communication) kuhusu matatizo mbalimbali ya ndani ya ndoa mf. Kutoridhishwa kihisia, kitendo na hata ukosekanaji wa kujaliana inaweza haribu ndoa na kuiteketeza kabisa na kupelekea mwenzi wako kutoka nje ya mahusiano ya kindoa"...........mwisho wa kunukuu

na nb: There is no "genuine" reason for cheating

naongea hapa kama mwanamke ambae hajaolewa kama upo kwenye mahusiano wanawake kiukweli hatuna tabia ya kucheat ila inasababishwa na hawa wenzwetu wa upande wapili
upo na mtu kwenye mahusiano analeta mapozi hakujali hamna mawasiliano vizuri yaani haeleweki
then anatokea mtu mwingine lazima tu utatoka mana hamna guarantee ila kwa wanawake wenye ndoa sijui naona kucheat ni ngumu kidogo

 

[KipimaPembe]

juzi nipo home niliboreka 2 nikasema ngoja nimuulize huyu m2(msukuma) yupo kona gani na mie nikapate 1, nilivyofika nilimkuta yupo na frnds zake na kabinti karembo, wanaume wote kwenye kampani wameona na wake zao nawafahamu, ghafla kale karembo kakanyanyuka kakaenda kukaa counter, kumbe ni karembo ka mmoja wa frnds zake msukuma ambae wiki chache zilizopita ilibambwa msg ya kimada ya kumshukuru kwa jinc alivyo mtamu na anavyompa vzr, kasheshe lilikuwa kasheshe hapo, mke anataka kufungasha vilivyo vyake, wanaume wanamtetea frnd wao kwa kumbembeleza wife alegeze masharti na misamaha ya kutosha, mume alilia na kuomba msamaha wa kila aina aina week nzima hakwenda job madai pressure imepanda kwa kitendo kilichotokea(madai yake kumweka mke wake ktk hali ya wacwac).....mxsiii.....ONCE A CHEATER ALWAYS A CHEATER!

Sijui nimeikosaje hiyo post ya Mbu!! But nakubaliana naye 100% Na iko both ways, wanaume na wanawake. ofcourse kuna kutoa second chance, but hata mie HOPE kuwa kutoa second chance kunasaidia ilishanitoka, ila simshauri mwingine asitoe second chance. Utatoa hadi 10th chance, lakini utayaona tena tuu!

Communication breakdown ikishatokea kwenye mahusiano, nadhani utakuwa kama muujiza tu kwamba mtaelewana tena. It is usually gone for ever. Hiyo misururu ya excuses hairudishi mawasiliano hata kidogo.

 

[Dena Amsi]

There aint no reason for cheatin, just excuses...People say oh he/she did it first.. well i do believe 2 wrongs make a right in some cases but not with relationships... not only are you risking your life but putting youself in the way of diseases but affairs of the heart should be taken more seriously than playing tit for tat games...

Other people say he/she was not there for me when i needed and the other person provided what i needed... Well you shoulda been honest with the partner and let them know the deal and if you felt it was time to find what you need from some other shorty, be like yo, you aint there for me and i gotta move on...But all that said, we are all human and make mistakes...

Kizungu kinachosha kusoma

 

[Masikini_Jeuri]

Sijui nimeikosaje hiyo post ya Mbu!! But nakubaliana naye 100% Na iko both ways, wanaume na wanawake. ofcourse kuna kutoa second chance, but hata mie HOPE kuwa kutoa second chance kunasaidia ilishanitoka, ila simshauri mwingine asitoe second chance. Utatoa hadi 10th chance, lakini utayaona tena tuu!

Communication breakdown ikishatokea kwenye mahusiano, nadhani utakuwa kama muujiza tu kwamba mtaelewana tena. It is usually gone for ever. Hiyo misururu ya excuses hairudishi mawasiliano hata kidogo.

Ukifika hapa GUYS !.this is Wake up time ! get real......................you live only once!

 

[The Finest]

naongea hapa kama mwanamke ambae hajaolewa kama upo kwenye mahusiano wanawake kiukweli hatuna tabia ya kucheat ila inasababishwa na hawa wenzwetu wa upande wapili
upo na mtu kwenye mahusiano analeta mapozi hakujali hamna mawasiliano vizuri yaani haeleweki
then anatokea mtu mwingine lazima tu utatoka mana hamna guarantee ila kwa wanawake wenye ndoa sijui naona kucheat ni ngumu kidogo

This is where i really fail to understand people, there is no justification for cheating... Why is it that people try to blame their girlfriend or boyfriend for their cheating?? Don't try to blame them for your lack of control!! Cheaters make up these so called "Justifications" to make them feel better about their actions, Once they have convinced themselves, they then try to convince others to believe their story. Although some stories are quite interesting and possibly believable...I don't buy em..

 

[The Finest]

Kizungu kinachosha kusoma

Mimi najua Kiingereza sijui Kizungu banaaa......

 

[bht]

There aint no reason for cheatin, just excuses...People say oh he/she did it first.. well i do believe 2 wrongs make a right in some cases but not with relationships... not only are you risking your life but putting youself in the way of diseases but affairs of the heart should be taken more seriously than playing tit for tat games...

Other people say he/she was not there for me when i needed and the other person provided what i needed... Well you shoulda been honest with the partner and let them know the deal and if you felt it was time to find what you need from some other shorty, be like yo, you aint there for me and i gotta move on...But all that said, we are all human and make mistakes...

yaani hapo ndicho kitu ambacho sikiamini kapisa kwenye mahusiano!! tit for tat sasa unakuwa umemkomesha nani haswa hapo kama si wewe mwenyewe???

tabu yote ya kuanza kwenda kujificha ficha kuibia huko pembeni, I would rather use that energy and resources talking to my partner about it. kama ramani haisomeki basi ujue umepotea rudi ukaanze upya!!!

After all najisikia kama vile siuheshimu mwili wangu kujiachia achia 'hovyo' kwa visingizio vya kipuuzi ambapo ningeweza tu kutafuta suluhisho (ofcoz taking into consideration the risks I will be exposing myself into)

Ntaongea tu hata kwa msaada wa wamarekani!!

 

[klorokwini]

Wakuu naona hapa mnatupiana mpira tu kila mtu anavutia upande wake sijui wanawake hivi wanaume vile, that's not a legitimate reason. If your significant other is no longer significant, then you tell them that things aren't working out. You don't cheat...

Tangu upewe mkopo umekuwa na mapwenti kweli aisee.
tuendeleeni na mjadala wajameni
ukipata like yangu ujue umeongea la maana sana

 

[Smile]

this is where i really fail to understand people, there is no justification for cheating... Why is it that people try to blame their girlfriend or boyfriend for their cheating?? Don't try to blame them for your lack of control!! cheaters make up these so called "justifications" to make them feel better about their actions, once they have convinced themselves, they then try to convince others to believe their story. Although some stories are quite interesting and possibly believable...i don't buy em..

interesting??????????????????????????????

 

[Chauro]

natamani maisha yangekuwa kama vile wengi wetu tunavofikiri lakini inapokuja kwenye reality mengi huwa ni ndoto na wachache sana huendelea kuishi na kupata kile chote walichoota toka utotoni .............maana ukweli ni kwamba utakimbia namba moja inanyeusi ukienda namba mbili unaikuta nyekundu na wakati mwingine inapofika kwenye namba tatu zinaweza gundi za moyo wako kuwa zilishaexpire basi hazishikamani na upande wowote kazi yako inakuwa kusababisha matatizo kwa wale wasio na hatia na mwisho wake ni kugeuza mioyo yao ifanane na wewe.


ii

This is where i really fail to understand people, there is no justification for cheating... Why is it that people try to blame their girlfriend or boyfriend for their cheating?? Don't try to blame them for your lack of control!! Cheaters make up these so called "Justifications" to make them feel better about their actions, Once they have convinced themselves, they then try to convince others to believe their story. Although some stories are quite interesting and possibly believable...I don't buy em..

 

[The Finest]

yaani hapo ndicho kitu ambacho sikiamini kapisa kwenye mahusiano!! tit for tat sasa unakuwa umemkomesha nani haswa hapo kama si wewe mwenyewe???

tabu yote ya kuanza kwenda kujificha ficha kuibia huko pembeni, I would rather use that energy and resources talking to my partner about it. kama ramani haisomeki basi ujue umepotea rudi ukaanze upya!!!

After all najisikia kama vile siuheshimu mwili wangu kujiachia achia 'hovyo' kwa visingizio vya kipuuzi ambapo ningeweza tu kutafuta suluhisho (ofcoz taking into consideration the risks I will be exposing myself into)

Ntaongea tu hata kwa msaada wa wamarekani!!

The following user The Finest says thank you to bht for this useful post

 

[The Finest]

Tangu upewe mkopo umekuwa na mapwenti kweli aisee.
tuendeleeni na mjadala wajameni
ukipata like yangu ujue umeongea la maana sana

Kamanda mkopo si ndio nilikuwa nautumia kwa ajili ya kufanya THESIS ya MMU.......

 

[Dena Amsi]

Mimi najua Kiingereza sijui Kizungu banaaa......

Ha ha kumbe unajua lugha ya taifa ila makusudi tu

 

[The Finest]

interesting??????????????????????????????

Yes, interesting indeed.....of course the relationship will never be the same after you find out someone has cheated on you.