P wa ukweli
Member
- Jan 15, 2011
- 8
- 0
tehe tehe teheee! Hapo dingi huna swali, maneno lazima yakuishe.. Unakuwa mdogooooo!!
laugh out loud loooooool
laugh out loud loooooool
- Thread starter Mohammed Hamad
- Start date
tehe tehe teheee! Hapo dingi huna swali, maneno lazima yakuishe.. Unakuwa mdogooooo!!
nyuki dume
JF-Expert Member
- Oct 8, 2010
- 435
- 34
teeh,teh,teeeh Nimeipenda
Mohammed Hamad
JF-Expert Member
- Jan 17, 2011
- 3,988
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- Thread starter
- #123
Teacher:'nyumbani kwenu nani mdogo kuliko wote?
Mwanafunzi akajibu:Mama.
Teacher:ki vipi?
Mwanafunzi:chupi yake mpaka leo anavuliwa na baba!
Mwanafunzi akajibu:Mama.
Teacher:ki vipi?
Mwanafunzi:chupi yake mpaka leo anavuliwa na baba!
komedi
JF-Expert Member
- Mar 6, 2011
- 204
- 17
hahahahaha...denti noma huyu!!!
Mohammed Hamad
JF-Expert Member
- Jan 17, 2011
- 3,988
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- Thread starter
- #125
A Tourist in Kilimanjaro had a friend as an interpreter by the name of Mr.Makeke. When in a small restaurant in town interpretation English to Kiswahili went like this:
Tourist: Do you have vegetables here.
Makeke: Mnavyo vijimeza hapa.
Waiter: Vijimeza vidogo hatuna.
Makeke: No sir, they don't have.
Tourist: OK, fine, do you have hot dogs.
Makeke: Sawa, je mnao mbwa wa moto.
Waiter: Loh! Bwana we, hatupiki mbwa hapa.
Makeke: They don't cook here
Tourist: What type of snacks do you have here?
Makeke: Aina ngapi ya nyoka mnao hapa,
Waiter: We bwana we hapa hatupiki aina yeyote ya nyoka, mwache akale nyumbani kwao.
Makeke: They don't cook any type of snacks here, maybe you can go back and eat at home.
Tourist: OK, at least give us a cocktail juice.
Makeke: OK, tupatie hata juisi ya mkia wa jogoo.
Waiter: Hebu tokeni na bangi lenu hapa, tena sasa hivi kabla sijakasirika.
Makeke: Lets get out of here, I think this man is crazy!
Tourist: Do you have vegetables here.
Makeke: Mnavyo vijimeza hapa.
Waiter: Vijimeza vidogo hatuna.
Makeke: No sir, they don't have.
Tourist: OK, fine, do you have hot dogs.
Makeke: Sawa, je mnao mbwa wa moto.
Waiter: Loh! Bwana we, hatupiki mbwa hapa.
Makeke: They don't cook here
Tourist: What type of snacks do you have here?
Makeke: Aina ngapi ya nyoka mnao hapa,
Waiter: We bwana we hapa hatupiki aina yeyote ya nyoka, mwache akale nyumbani kwao.
Makeke: They don't cook any type of snacks here, maybe you can go back and eat at home.
Tourist: OK, at least give us a cocktail juice.
Makeke: OK, tupatie hata juisi ya mkia wa jogoo.
Waiter: Hebu tokeni na bangi lenu hapa, tena sasa hivi kabla sijakasirika.
Makeke: Lets get out of here, I think this man is crazy!
Mohammed Hamad
JF-Expert Member
- Jan 17, 2011
- 3,988
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- Thread starter
- #126
Dogo janja alirudi kutoka shule asubuhi sana.
Baba: kwanini umerudi mapema hivi? hebu rudi shule huko
Dogo: Sitaki mwalimu wa hesabu kanirudisha
Baba: Kwanini? Dogo: ameniuliza 2 X 3 ni ngapi? nikamwambia ni 6
Baba: sawa kabisa
Dogo: Halafu akaniuliza 3 X2 ni ngapi?
Baba: Mwalimu f#la nini? ukamjibu ngapi?
Dogo: Hivyo hivyo (f#la)
Baba: kwanini umerudi mapema hivi? hebu rudi shule huko
Dogo: Sitaki mwalimu wa hesabu kanirudisha
Baba: Kwanini? Dogo: ameniuliza 2 X 3 ni ngapi? nikamwambia ni 6
Baba: sawa kabisa
Dogo: Halafu akaniuliza 3 X2 ni ngapi?
Baba: Mwalimu f#la nini? ukamjibu ngapi?
Dogo: Hivyo hivyo (f#la)
mkonowapaka
JF-Expert Member
- Feb 19, 2010
- 1,492
- 771
hahahaaaaaaaaaaaaa jamani leo kazi ipo apa khaaaaaa
Raia Fulani
JF-Expert Member
- Mar 12, 2009
- 11,866
- 4,252
duh! Mdingi nae mlemle
Mwendabure
JF-Expert Member
- Mar 10, 2011
- 2,138
- 1,045
Imetulia Mkuu! Mbavu zangu hoi hapa nlipo duh!
Mohammed Hamad
JF-Expert Member
- Jan 17, 2011
- 3,988
- 1,308
- Thread starter
- #130
Husbands V/S Wives* >=)
Husband:*Do you know the meaning of WIFE?
It means, Without Information, Fighting Everytime!
Wife:*No darling, it means,
With Idiot For Ever
Wife:*I wish I was a newspaper,
So I'd be in your hands all day.
Husband:*I too wish that you were a newspaper,
So I could have a new one everyday.
Doctor:*Your husband needs rest and peace. Here are some sleeping
pills.*
Wife:*When must I give them to him?
Doctor:*They are for you
Wife:*I had to marry you to find out how stupid you are.
Husband:*You should have known it the minute
I asked you to marry me.
Husband:*Today is Sunday & I have to enjoy it.
So I bought 3 movie tickets.
Wife:*Why Three?
Husband:*For you and your parents
Wife:*What will you give me if I climb the great*Mount Everest*?
Husband:*A lovely Push...!!
Husband:*Do you know the meaning of WIFE?
It means, Without Information, Fighting Everytime!
Wife:*No darling, it means,
With Idiot For Ever
Wife:*I wish I was a newspaper,
So I'd be in your hands all day.
Husband:*I too wish that you were a newspaper,
So I could have a new one everyday.
Doctor:*Your husband needs rest and peace. Here are some sleeping
pills.*
Wife:*When must I give them to him?
Doctor:*They are for you
Wife:*I had to marry you to find out how stupid you are.
Husband:*You should have known it the minute
I asked you to marry me.
Husband:*Today is Sunday & I have to enjoy it.
So I bought 3 movie tickets.
Wife:*Why Three?
Husband:*For you and your parents
Wife:*What will you give me if I climb the great*Mount Everest*?
Husband:*A lovely Push...!!
Mohammed Hamad
JF-Expert Member
- Jan 17, 2011
- 3,988
- 1,308
- Thread starter
- #131
A little boy said: mummy do u
know that our housegirl is an angel? Mum: why do
u say that junior? I saw her naked with her
hands on the wall shouting oh god I'm coming I'm
coming I'm coming if not daddy that was holding
her tight from behind she would hav gone up to
heaven.
know that our housegirl is an angel? Mum: why do
u say that junior? I saw her naked with her
hands on the wall shouting oh god I'm coming I'm
coming I'm coming if not daddy that was holding
her tight from behind she would hav gone up to
heaven.
Mohammed Hamad
JF-Expert Member
- Jan 17, 2011
- 3,988
- 1,308
- Thread starter
- #132
A Pakistani B̲̅☺Ỳ̗ got admission in an American School..
Teacher: What's ur name?
B̲̅☺Ỳ̗: Ahmad
Teacher: No, now ur in America ur name is Johnny я̤̣̈̇òм̤̣̈̇ today.
B̲̅☺Ỳ̗ went home. Mom asked:
How was ur day Ahmad?
B̲̅☺Ỳ̗: I'm an American now call м̤̣̈̇ǝ‎​‎​​ Johnny.
Mom & Dad both got offended and beat him up.
Next day he was back τσ school, All bruised.
Teacher: what happend johnny?
B̲̅☺Ỳ̗: Ma'am , just 4 hours after i became American , I was attacked by 2 PAKISTANIS! =D =))
Teacher: What's ur name?
B̲̅☺Ỳ̗: Ahmad
Teacher: No, now ur in America ur name is Johnny я̤̣̈̇òм̤̣̈̇ today.
B̲̅☺Ỳ̗ went home. Mom asked:
How was ur day Ahmad?
B̲̅☺Ỳ̗: I'm an American now call м̤̣̈̇ǝ‎​‎​​ Johnny.
Mom & Dad both got offended and beat him up.
Next day he was back τσ school, All bruised.
Teacher: what happend johnny?
B̲̅☺Ỳ̗: Ma'am , just 4 hours after i became American , I was attacked by 2 PAKISTANIS! =D =))
Mohammed Hamad
JF-Expert Member
- Jan 17, 2011
- 3,988
- 1,308
- Thread starter
- #133
Teacher : Can you tell the name of 3 great Kings who have brought happiness and peace into people lives?
Student : Smo-king, Drin-king & Fuc-king....L☺L =D=))
Student : Smo-king, Drin-king & Fuc-king....L☺L =D=))
Mohammed Hamad
JF-Expert Member
- Jan 17, 2011
- 3,988
- 1,308
- Thread starter
- #134
Husband (In Romantc Mood)
My Love!
Why r U Blushing Today ? ?
Wife: Whn Ur Luvly Wrds
Touch d Bundle Branches n
Conducting System Of My Heart
It Starts Beating Faster
Cause Increasing Increasing
Output
Transmited 2 Adrenals Which
Starts Secreting Glucagon To
Increase Blood Glucose Level n
Combat This Emergency Also
Increasing Pituitary Output 2
Increase Blood Estrogen Level
Cause Vasodilation n I Blush ...
Moral:
Never Marry A Doctor ,
She'll Spoil Ur Romance 😛 =D
My Love!
Why r U Blushing Today ? ?
Wife: Whn Ur Luvly Wrds
Touch d Bundle Branches n
Conducting System Of My Heart
It Starts Beating Faster
Cause Increasing Increasing
Output
Transmited 2 Adrenals Which
Starts Secreting Glucagon To
Increase Blood Glucose Level n
Combat This Emergency Also
Increasing Pituitary Output 2
Increase Blood Estrogen Level
Cause Vasodilation n I Blush ...
Moral:
Never Marry A Doctor ,
She'll Spoil Ur Romance 😛 =D
Mohammed Hamad
JF-Expert Member
- Jan 17, 2011
- 3,988
- 1,308
- Thread starter
- #135
Mchaga mmoja alidondoka kwenye kisima cha maji akapiga kelel huku anatapatapa mkewe akaja na kamba mpya akamrushia; mume akauliza umenunua sh.ngapi? Mke akamjibu, buku; akamwambia, irudishe nenda kwa Masawe anauza jero fanya fasta ntazama.
Mohammed Hamad
JF-Expert Member
- Jan 17, 2011
- 3,988
- 1,308
- Thread starter
- #136
Kuna jamaa m1 alikua anatafuta posta akakutana na mtoto.
Akamuuliza eti posta iko wapi?
Mtoto:nyosha njia moja kwa moja halafu pinda kulia.
Jamaa:ahsante sana mimi ni padri je! Nikuonyeshe njia ya peponi?
Mtoto:njia ya posta huijui utaijua ya peponi.
Akamuuliza eti posta iko wapi?
Mtoto:nyosha njia moja kwa moja halafu pinda kulia.
Jamaa:ahsante sana mimi ni padri je! Nikuonyeshe njia ya peponi?
Mtoto:njia ya posta huijui utaijua ya peponi.
Mohammed Hamad
JF-Expert Member
- Jan 17, 2011
- 3,988
- 1,308
- Thread starter
- #137
A child flying in Emirates Airlines asked his mother:
"Eagles have baby eagles, Crows have baby crows,
why don't planes have baby planes?"
The mother told him to ask the pretty Hostess & he did.
Air Hostess: "Did your mother tell you to ask me that?"
Boy: "Yes"
Air Hostess: "Well! Then tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Emirates Airlines always pulls out on time.
Now, let your mother explain that to you!!!😛
Fly Emirates,Keep Discovering 
"Eagles have baby eagles, Crows have baby crows,
why don't planes have baby planes?"
The mother told him to ask the pretty Hostess & he did.
Air Hostess: "Did your mother tell you to ask me that?"
Boy: "Yes"
Air Hostess: "Well! Then tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Emirates Airlines always pulls out on time.
Now, let your mother explain that to you!!!😛
Fly Emirates,Keep Discovering 
Mohammed Hamad
JF-Expert Member
- Jan 17, 2011
- 3,988
- 1,308
- Thread starter
- #138
A granny asked her grandson"why is your dad & mum still in bed?boy replied,i don't no Dad asked me for vaseline last night & i mistakenly gave him super glue.=))
Mohammed Hamad
JF-Expert Member
- Jan 17, 2011
- 3,988
- 1,308
- Thread starter
- #139
President bush tried and failed, president clinton tried and failed, present bush junior tried and failed, president obama tried and succeeded... Moral of the story, if u wana kill someone, send a nigga!!!
Mohammed Hamad
JF-Expert Member
- Jan 17, 2011
- 3,988
- 1,308
- Thread starter
- #140
Joe: Your secretary is very sexy. John: Thanks, it is a robot from Japan her name is Kotto. If u squeeze her right breast she takes notes and if u squeeze the left she types. You can borrow her for a day and see for yourself. Next day Joe called from the hospital and shouted: John you BASTARD, you didn't tell me Kotto's pussy is a pencil sharpener.
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