Best divorce letter, ever

Mr Marcus

Member
Sep 8, 2011
23
0
I'm writing this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you. I've been a good wife to you for the last 20 years
& I have nothing to show for it, and the last 2 weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that
you left your job today which was the last straw.

Last week, you came home & you didn't even notice I had a new hairstyle, had cooked
your favorite meal & even wore a brand new nightie. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight
to sleep after watching your TV soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't
want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you're cheating on me or
you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.




Your EX-Wife. Don't try to find me. Your BROTHER & I are moving to Invercargill together!


Have a great life!





===============================









Dear Ex-wife:

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.

It's true you & I have been married for 20 years, although a good woman is a far cry from
what you've been. I watch TV soaps so
much because they drown out your constant whining & bitching. Too bad that doesn't work.

I DID notice when you got a hair do last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was
'You look just like a boy!' Since my father raised me not to say anything if you can't
say something nice, I didn't comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you
must have got me confused with MY BROTHER because I haven't eaten pork for 7 years.
About the new nightie: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on
it, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed $50 from me that
morning.

After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I won the 20 million
dollar Lotto on Saturday, I left my job & bought 2 tickets for us to Jamaica, but when I
got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess.





I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you
wrote ensures you won't get a dollar from me. So take care.

Signed,
Your Ex-Husband, Rich As Hell & Free!

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my brother Carl was born Carla. I hope that's
not a problem.
 

AshaDii

Platinum Member
Apr 16, 2011
16,227
1,500
Usishangae ADI....!! Tunavyokwambia kwamba FF ni member wa muda mrefu hapa unafikiri tunatania... lol


..........lol..... Alafu unanisingizia Dii.... mie I meant the letters... FF aliwahi admit hicho, kitu - she is for real hanaga pretense....
 

Steve Dii

JF-Expert Member
Jun 25, 2007
6,414
2,000
Umenikumbusha memba wa Jambo Forums, enzi hizo. Kapotelea wapi huyu? au baada ya kutoa kashfa za vogue la mtu flani akala ban la maisha?
Siamini kama mpaka leo hujui ni member yupi ni brazameni... mbona ametapakaa kila mahali mama wee! Unanshangaza lol
 

King'asti

JF-Expert Member
Nov 26, 2009
27,746
2,000
hiyo last part ya Carl was born Carla imenikumbusha seres ya ugly betty. kuna mdada mzuriii,one of the main characters bt she was a he,lol! wanasema usivamie bahari pasi na kujihadhari!
 

AshaDii

Platinum Member
Apr 16, 2011
16,227
1,500
hiyo last part ya Carl was born Carla imenikumbusha seres ya ugly betty. kuna mdada mzuriii,one of the main characters bt she was a he,lol! wanasema usivamie bahari pasi na kujihadhari!

Na she is the hottest dada.... Unakumbuka ile Cocktail party entrance yake?? I was Impressed!!
 

Kwisimla

Senior Member
Apr 15, 2011
145
225
Ooh my! I would love to see how the wife reacted after receiving her x's letter.............
 

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