"A man should provide for his wife. PERIOD"

VoiceOfReason said:

Kama pesa ipo usipowaprovide wife, watoto na familia utamprovide nani??
Lakini kama pesa haipo huwezi kwenda kuiba au kuua watu na ku-risk your life eti just because you are a man and you need to provide for the mrs
Ofcourse nitaiba ili watoto na wife wasilale njaa, lakini kamwe sitaiba ili wife aende saloon au anunue kiatu kipya
Living according to your means is absolutely important

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Kwa hili Babu sina tatizo nalo...................nut the assertion kuwwa kama huwezi kusatisfy kwa bed basi make sure unaprovide !! mh ina maana ukijua kuwa Wallet haikuruhusu basi ndo ukalearn skills na tactics za kuperform kwa bed??

IMO Maisha yamebadilika mno sasa hivi... ni meengi ambayo huchangia
ni nani au jinsi gani hivyo vitu katika familiy inatakiwa viwe provided...
Traditionally na logically a man has to provide everything... na hii tunazungumzia
yule mwenye uwezo na kajitosheleza vilivyo kuweza provide each and everything..

Kikubwa tukumbuke hio article ni mwanadamu mwenzetu alie toa mawazo yake
na kupata means ya kuweza toa mawazo yake... na haya mambo ya ndoa
bana it take two to tangle.... for it to be a success..

Ashadii said:

IMO Maisha yamebadilika mno sasa hivi... ni meengi ambayo huchangia
ni nani au jinsi gani hivyo vitu katika familiy inatakiwa viwe provided...
Traditionally na logically a man has to provide everything... na hii tunazungumzia
yule mwenye uwezo na kajitosheleza vilivyo kuweza provide each and everything..

Kikubwa tukumbuke hio article ni mwanadamu mwenzetu alie toa mawazo yake
na kupata means ya kuweza toa mawazo yake... na haya mambo ya ndoa
bana it take two to tangle.... for it to be a success..

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Aksante Asha Dii..................nashukuru kwa kutukumbusha kuwa huyo ni binadamu mwenzetu so tusichukulie alichosema Bwana Maina kama msahafu au Bibilia..............tumchallenge kwa kuangalia maisha halisi!

EMT said:

Upo kwenye ndoa miaka 17 unaweza kutupa practical experience. Juzi nilikuwa naangalia documentary ya modern husband and wife. Wakahojiwa wanandoa ambao wamekaa kwenye ndoa kwa miaka 30. Walionyesha some video extracts jinsi wanavyoishi, yaani ni wabishi sijawahi kuona. Kwenye show walikuwepo vijana wake kwa waume amabo bado hawajaoa/olewa. Walikiri ni heri kuishi single kuliko kuishi katika ndoa ya aina hiyo. Hao wanandoa walipoulizwa pamoja na kubishana kote huko imekuwaje wakaweza kuishi pamoja kwa muda wote huo. Wanasema kuwa pamoja na ku argue kila mara, kutukanana, n.k, at the end of the day wanaheshimiana kama mume na mke. Mume anapata anachohistahili toka kwa mke na mke anapata anachositahili toka kwa mume.

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Mie kwa kweli nafanya kazi ila nachopata natumia kwenye ishu ndogondogo tu, ila mume wangu anapenda sana kunihudumia kwa kila kitu,mwanzo nilipoanza kazi nilijitutumua kufanya hili na lile nikawa naona maswali yanazidi na ananiambiaga ikifikia wakati wa mimi kuchangia wala sitasubiri aseme nitaona mwenyewe,maana hizi thread za kuchangia gharama wakati mwingine zinanishika hadi namuuliza, mie najitahidi sana kuhakikisha anakuwa mwenye furaha na amani, smart na msafi, anakula na kushiba , na kumbuka sipiki kila siku mie nikitaka kupika lazima awe hayupo akiwepo, kama haji jikoni basi lazima aniambie niache kupika nikakae nae either chumbani au sitting room, ila nae akianza yale mambo yake huwa hapatoshi humu, all in all hakuna nachoshindwa kuki handle na hapo sijaolewa kwa ndoa nikiolewa itakuwaje sijui lakini niombeeni ndugu yenu wajameni

MwanajamiiOne said:

Aksante Asha Dii..................nashukuru kwa kutukumbusha kuwa huyo ni binadamu mwenzetu so tusichukulie alichosema Bwana Maina kama msahafu au Bibilia..............tumchallenge kwa kuangalia maisha halisi!

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Nashukuru we are in agreement....

Shantel said:

Mie kwa kweli nafanya kazi ila nachopata natumia kwenye ishu ndogondogo tu, ila mume wangu anapenda sana kunihudumia kwa kila kitu,mwanzo nilipoanza kazi nilijitutumua kufanya hili na lile nikawa naona maswali yanazidi na ananiambiaga ikifikia wakati wa mimi kuchangia wala sitasubiri aseme nitaona mwenyewe,maana hizi thread za kuchangia gharama wakati mwingine zinanishika hadi namuuliza, mie najitahidi sana kuhakikisha anakuwa mwenye furaha na amani, smart na msafi, anakula na kushiba , na kumbuka sipiki kila siku mie nikitaka kupika lazima awe hayupo akiwepo, kama haji jikoni basi lazima aniambie niache kupika nikakae nae either chumbani au sitting room, ila nae akianza yale mambo yake huwa hapatoshi humu, all in all hakuna nachoshindwa kuki handle na hapo sijaolewa kwa ndoa nikiolewa itakuwaje sijui lakini niombeeni ndugu yenu wajameni

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Mwanamke kuhudumiwa ati hongera bibie

EMT said:

Upo kwenye ndoa miaka 17 unaweza kutupa practical experience. Juzi nilikuwa naangalia documentary ya modern husband and wife. Wakahojiwa wanandoa ambao wamekaa kwenye ndoa kwa miaka 30. Walionyesha some video extracts jinsi wanavyoishi, yaani ni wabishi sijawahi kuona. Kwenye show walikuwepo vijana wake kwa waume amabo bado hawajaoa/olewa. Walikiri ni heri kuishi single kuliko kuishi katika ndoa ya aina hiyo. Hao wanandoa walipoulizwa pamoja na kubishana kote huko imekuwaje wakaweza kuishi pamoja kwa muda wote huo. Wanasema kuwa pamoja na ku argue kila mara, kutukanana, n.k, at the end of the day wanaheshimiana kama mume na mke. Mume anapata anachohistahili toka kwa mke na mke anapata anachositahili toka kwa mume.

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Uzoefu ndio huohuo EMT kila siku ninaimba humu
matunzo kwa mke muhimu ila unajua uzoefu wa miaka si kitu
unaweza ukawa una miaka mingi kwa ndoa ila wa miaka miwili mitano
akawa na uzoefu mzuri zaidi, mie napenda kuishi kama mimi na sio nani
anaishi vipi......

MwanajamiiOne said:

Aksante EMT.......usitunyime uhondo tafadhali at least tupatie Link............kuna threads za Lizzy nyingi kaka yangu please, just a link will do. Aksante

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Well, nitajaribu kuedit na kuweka hapa ambayo ni relevant zaidi. Thread ya Lizzy ya "Wanawake Wazuri." ilitokana na article moja kwenye gazeti la Daily Nation la Kenya la wiki iliyopita yenye kichwa cha habari "Where are All the Good Women?". Niliweka hapa jana: https://www.jamiiforums.com/mahusiano...ml#post2207612. Nilisema sio wanaume tuu wanaolalamika kwamba hakuna "wanawake wazuri" wa kuoa. Wanawake pia wanalalamika hakuna "wanaume wazuri" wa kuwaoa. Labda niongezee hata wengi waliopo kwenye ndoa, wanalalamika. Moja ya sababu inaweza kuwa hizo ulizozitaja, i.e kupitia tendo a ndoa (kumfurahisha/kukidhi haja za mkewe/mwanamke wake kitendo) na kuweza kumtimizia mahitaji ya Mke/mwanamke wake matumizi.

Lakini ukingalia in a big picture, katika kizazi cha sasa tofauti ya mwanaume na mwanaume ina diminish kwa kasi kubwa. Wanaume wengi wanakuwa na vi element vingi vya kike ambavyo vinawaboa wanawake wengi. Wanaume wengine wamesahau and/or wame ignore majukumu yao kama mwanaume. Wanawake nao hivyo hivyo. Men are becoming more feminine and women are becoming less feminine. Matokeo yale ni lack of attraction between the two.

Wapo wanaosema kuwa this is b'se one gender gaining or losing power and men becoming effeminate. Wengine wanasema kuwa this is due to the increasing demonisation of traditional masculinity in men. Whatever the case, kwenye jamiii ya sasa masculine qualities and behaviour zinakuwa more and more unnacceptable. As men becoming less manly. Lakini japokuwa wapo wanawake wanaomini kwenye equal contribution kwenye ndoa, majority ya wanawake bado wanaamini kuwa mwanaume ni main provider kwenye nyumba. Wanaume wengi nao wanaamini hivyo.

Hata kwenye nchi zilizoendelea, mwanamke mmoja tuu kati ya watano ndie anayeamini kuwa role ya mwanaume kama provider sio relevant tena. A third of men nao bado wanaamini kuwa bado wana role ya main provider: Women say men's role as breadwinner is no longer relevant - Telegraph. Ukweli ni kwamba japokuwa wanawake wengi sasa wameajiriwa au kujiari, kipato chao hakilinagani na kipato mwanaume. In developed world, wanawake walio makazini are paid 18% less than employed men. Kwa Tanzania nifikiri difference ya kipato ni kubwa zaidi. Sasa sijui kama hapo itakuwa fair kusema kuwa wanawake wa contribute equally kwenye ndoa. kwa hali hii mwanamke ata assit lakini kumwambia atoe equal contribution ni kumwonea.

My view: Wanawake wanaodai equal contribution kwenye ndoa, ni wale wachache ambao either wamefanikiwa kupata elimu ya juu au wana kipato kikubwa. Wanaume wanaodai equal contribution kwenye ndoa, wamepoteza au wanaelekea kupoteza their masculinity and their fundamemental role as a man which is to LEAD. Kuhusiana na tendo a ndoa (kumfurahisha/kukidhi haja za mkewe/mwanamke wake kitendo), kuna majibu mawili ambayo yote ni valid. Kwa sababu mbalimbali, men are becoming less and less masculine and women have discovered their sexuality.

MwanajamiiOne said:

Kwa hili Babu sina tatizo nalo...................nut the assertion kuwwa kama huwezi kusatisfy kwa bed basi make sure unaprovide !! mh ina maana ukijua kuwa Wallet haikuruhusu basi ndo ukalearn skills na tactics za kuperform kwa bed??

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Mhh sasa hapo nadhani utakuwa used na utakuwa unatumika more of a tool na sio mume... 🙂
Binafsi nadhani a good relationship is more than sharing a bed and providing material things....
Its more of a partnership and friendship, sharing everything mawazo na kusaidiana kwa kila kitu,
even if mume wako hataki uprovide anything it helps kama utamnunulia vijizawadi, nguo e.t.c
yaani you should treat him am sure huko njiani akiwa anatembea huku kavaa shati na saa mke wake aliomnunulia he will appreciate.

So minor things might make a Big Difference..., By the way MJ I think i will change my Avatar hii ni mara ya pili unaniita Babu (but i take it as a compliment 🙂 )

Shantel said:

Mie kwa kweli nafanya kazi ila nachopata natumia kwenye ishu ndogondogo tu, ila mume wangu anapenda sana kunihudumia kwa kila kitu,mwanzo nilipoanza kazi nilijitutumua kufanya hili na lile nikawa naona maswali yanazidi na ananiambiaga ikifikia wakati wa mimi kuchangia wala sitasubiri aseme nitaona mwenyewe,maana hizi thread za kuchangia gharama wakati mwingine zinanishika hadi namuuliza, mie najitahidi sana kuhakikisha anakuwa mwenye furaha na amani, smart na msafi, anakula na kushiba , na kumbuka sipiki kila siku mie nikitaka kupika lazima awe hayupo akiwepo, kama haji jikoni basi lazima aniambie niache kupika nikakae nae either chumbani au sitting room, ila nae akianza yale mambo yake huwa hapatoshi humu, all in all hakuna nachoshindwa kuki handle na hapo sijaolewa kwa ndoa nikiolewa itakuwaje sijui lakini niombeeni ndugu yenu wajameni

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I wish ungekuwa wangu wa milele............seriously.................... Du!..Sijawahi kupata mtu wa hulka hiyo maishani mwangu. Ningetulizana kama maji ya mtungi na nahisi ningeishi miaka 200
Girl, u know how to take care of your man and make him feel special.
Do keep up the good job!!

So freakin' old testament.

MwanajamiiOne said:

the Boss yaani naomba mnisamehe sana........nimeshindwa kuweka title kwa sababu hii makala imeniconfuse akili kidogo.......am sorry to say but mimi ni mmoja wapo wa wale wanaoamini kuwa Mwanaume kama Mwanaume anayo nafasi ya pekee katika familia......yaani issue ya kuprovide kwa familia yake kwangu huwa haina mjadala BUT sitarajii pia kuwa atakuwa rigid kiasi cha kukataa any assistance from me . Mimi kama Mke naamini kuwa nina wajibu wa kumsaidia Mume wangu kwa hali na mali (including financial assistance): na hii wala siombi au kusubiri kuambiwa......pale ambapo ninawezanyoosha mkono nitanyoosha. But ukiisoma article hii yote inaINSIST kuwa ni mwanaume na ni mwanaume ambaye anabeba hilo jukumu.......... samahani nitanukuu sentensi nyingine ....If you (Man) are pathetic in bed, you will have to compensate with the way you provide in her.....

Hapa najiuliza, je ni kweli? na kama ni kweli kuna namna mnajua kuwa 'humtoshelezi in bed' ili ucompensate kwa matumizi?

Am a bit confused wajameni but bear with me please nitapata title soon na kurekebisha mambo!

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kamanimekuelewa huwezi ku compensate ya kitandani kwa ku provide

ni mahitaji mawili tofauti,
je na wale wanaoweza sana kitandani,wasi provide???????

kitandani lazima ujitahidi na ku provide kama kawa

Shantel said:

Mie kwa kweli nafanya kazi ila nachopata natumia kwenye ishu ndogondogo tu, ila mume wangu anapenda sana kunihudumia kwa kila kitu,mwanzo nilipoanza kazi nilijitutumua kufanya hili na lile nikawa naona maswali yanazidi na ananiambiaga ikifikia wakati wa mimi kuchangia wala sitasubiri aseme nitaona mwenyewe,maana hizi thread za kuchangia gharama wakati mwingine zinanishika hadi namuuliza, mie najitahidi sana kuhakikisha anakuwa mwenye furaha na amani, smart na msafi, anakula na kushiba , na kumbuka sipiki kila siku mie nikitaka kupika lazima awe hayupo akiwepo, kama haji jikoni basi lazima aniambie niache kupika nikakae nae either chumbani au sitting room, ila nae akianza yale mambo yake huwa hapatoshi humu, all in all hakuna nachoshindwa kuki handle na hapo sijaolewa kwa ndoa nikiolewa itakuwaje sijui lakini niombeeni ndugu yenu wajameni

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Hongera sana my dear....................nimekupenda ghafla!
Naomba niwe wa kwanza kukuombea!

The Boss said:

kamanimekuelewa huwezi ku compensate ya kitandani kwa ku provide

ni mahitaji mawili tofauti,
je na wale wanaoweza sana kitandani,wasi provide???????

kitandani lazima ujitahidi na ku provide kama kawa

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Tena mi nadhani jukumu la kwanza ni Huduma ya kitandani........mengine yanafuata nyuma.
Ndio maana "huwaacha baba zao na mama zao......" (kumbuka huko walikula,walikunywa,walivishwa na mengine mengi)

Ballerina said:

Tena mi nadhani jukumu la kwanza ni Huduma ya kitandani........mengine yanafuata nyuma.
Ndio maana "huwaacha baba zao na mama zao......" (kumbuka huko walikula,walikunywa,walivishwa na mengine mengi)

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kitandani ndio msingi

I take pride in providing every kind of assistance deemed necessary for whoever I happen to fall in love with....kama mtaniita buzi so be it.

In reality,wanaume siku hizi hatu-mind dadaa mwenye mshiko,na akitaka uanzishe familia na yeye it's all good.The most important thing is love.
Without it,the holy matrimony ain't holy at all no matter who provides what.

Shantel said:

Mie kwa kweli nafanya kazi ila nachopata natumia kwenye ishu ndogondogo tu, ila mume wangu anapenda sana kunihudumia kwa kila kitu,mwanzo nilipoanza kazi nilijitutumua kufanya hili na lile nikawa naona maswali yanazidi na ananiambiaga ikifikia wakati wa mimi kuchangia wala sitasubiri aseme nitaona mwenyewe,maana hizi thread za kuchangia gharama wakati mwingine zinanishika hadi namuuliza, mie najitahidi sana kuhakikisha anakuwa mwenye furaha na amani, smart na msafi, anakula na kushiba , na kumbuka sipiki kila siku mie nikitaka kupika lazima awe hayupo akiwepo, kama haji jikoni basi lazima aniambie niache kupika nikakae nae either chumbani au sitting room, ila nae akianza yale mambo yake huwa hapatoshi humu, all in all hakuna nachoshindwa kuki handle na hapo sijaolewa kwa ndoa nikiolewa itakuwaje sijui lakini niombeeni ndugu yenu wajameni

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nakukumbusha tu Shantel,
kuwa basi huyo si busara kuendelea kumwita mume!!!
Mungu awabariki mfunge ndoa sasa, umesikia mama?

Ballerina said:

Tena mi nadhani jukumu la kwanza ni Huduma ya kitandani........mengine yanafuata nyuma.
Ndio maana "huwaacha baba zao na mama zao......" (kumbuka huko walikula,walikunywa,walivishwa na mengine mengi)

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am just trying to buy your idea....lol........