JF Chit-Chats and Jokes

General Chat, Talk about anything that falls under no category on the board, but remember FOLLOW THE RULES!
Abunuwas delivers a khutbah (sermon) Once, the people of The City invited Abunuwas to deliver a khutba. When he got on the pulpit, he found the audience was not very enthusiastic, so he...
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Mother was scolding the daughter, "i don't like the guy you are going out with. he is too dumb". "No, momma," she said, "he is going to be a doctor and he has already cured me of that illness...
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Boss mmoja aliingia kazini kwake kasahau kufunga zipu ya suruali yake sasa secretary wake akamfuata na mazungumzo yakawa hivi: SECRETARY: Boss leo umesahau kufunga geti nyumbani kwako...
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Little Johnny was 7 years old and like other boys his age rather curious. He had been hearing quite a bit about 'courting' from the older boys, and he wondered what it was and how it was done. One...
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Nakumbuka miaka michache nyuma nilibahatika kutembelea shule moja ya chekechea au kwa jina maarufu Vidudu, sielewi haswa kwa nini shule hizi za chekechea zinaitwa kwa jina hili la vidudu. Swala...
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To My Dear Wife, You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being 54 years old, can no longer satisfy. I am very happy with you and I value you as a good wife. Therefore...
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A man phones a mental hospital and asks the receptionist if there is anybody in room 27. the receptionist goes, checks the room, come back to the phone and tells him that there is no one in...
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Bibi kaamua kukumbushia enzi zake........!
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One d a y, in line a t the company cafeteria , Joe says to Mike behind him, 'My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a doctor.' 'Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money,'...
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A famous Heart Surgeon Lt. Dr. Nitu Mandke. He had done many heart operations. A mechanic was removing the cylinder heads from the motor of a car when he spotted the famous heart surgeon in...
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Wapemba wawili walikuwa wanatembea barabarani kule Mtwara, kwa ghafla mmoja akagongwa na gari akafa, hapo hapo. Polisi walipo fika eneo la ajali wakamuuliza yule mpemba mwingine kama ifuatavyo...
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A husband, tired of his wife asking him how she looks, buys her a full length mirror. This does little to help, as now she just stands in front of the mirror, looking at herself, asking him how...
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A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was...
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The Dar es Salaam Regional Governor, Bill Lukuvi, and police Commander, Sule Kova giving an on-the-spot guidance to Temeke cab driver, Saidi on good nutrition. They told him to eat plenty of...
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BEFORE MARRIAGE: He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait. She: Do you want me to leave? He: NO! Don't even think about it. She: Do you love me? He: Of course! Over and...
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A black guy and a white man were sitting in the park. The white man had a pet monkey and a black guy was selling bananas. So the black guy said "Mr. Can u look after my bananas I am going to...
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A Jobless man applied for the position of 'office boy' at Microsoft. The HR manager interviewed him then watched him cleaning the floor as a test. 'You are employed' he said. Give me your e-mail...
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An airplane is flying over the United States of America at night. The Pilot say: "Ladies and Gentleman the plane is loosing altitude and all the baggage must be thrown out". A little later ,the...
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Ever noticed how deleting one word after the other in a sentence can lead to a nice story? Here's an example: Oh John please don't touch me at all...! Oh John please don't touch...
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Wanawake hao walikutana kiwandani na kuwa marafiki kabla ya kugundua kuwa wameolewa na mume mmoja Tuesday, August 18, 2009 3:01 PM...
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