Vituko mitandaoni. Tupia chako

[lyenyi]

Utakuwa wewe mdada unapenda kuomba omba pesa kwa wanaume ndo maana umekasirika. Hicho mnachokifanya ni kituko na huu ndo uzi wake.

Hata kama ni kituko jitahidi kutumia lugha nzuri bila kukera au kudharilisha kundi jingine katika jamii

 

[lyenyi]

Utakuwa wewe mdada unapenda kuomba omba pesa kwa wanaume ndo maana umekasirika. Hicho mnachokifanya ni kituko na huu ndo uzi wake.

Kwahiyo huko kwenu kumuona mlemavu ni kituko?? Una laana wewe

 

[antimatter]

Watumishi..​

Watumishi watatu walikutana kwa siri na kuelezana matatizo yao ili waweze kuombeana.

MTUMISHI WA KWANZA: mimi tatizo langu ni wizi, kila nikimaliza ibada lazima niibe pesa za sadaka.

WA PILI: Mimi tatizo langu ni wanawake yaani nimeshalala na wana kwaya wote pamoja na mke wa Kiongozi wetu.

WA TATU akaanza kulia badala ya kuongea.

WENZAKE: We vipi, unatatizo gani mbona unalia?!!

MTUMISHI WA 3: jamani, mimi tatizo langu ni “umbeya”, haya yote tuliyoongea hapa lazima nikayaseme kwa woote!

 

[antimatter]

Porn..
White Porn is for patient people, interesting story lines, Introduction, lots of blah blah, and conclusion... They start having sex 2 hours later...
.
As for Black porn, as soon as you press play, Boom, they are busy😁

 

[antimatter]

Brother, stop making promises during sex.......Now I owe one Lady two houses, three cars and an exotic vacation.......where do I start? 🙄

 

[antimatter]

I just pity those guys who will be squeezing girls neck during copulation.

When the girl suffocates and die, you'll explain to the police why you can't do doggy style or simple Missionary position 😁

 

[antimatter]

A Pilot was told to carry mad men from Nairobi to London for treatment, he agreed and carried them in his plane.

On their way, the entire plane was so noisy..
Later, one of the mad men approached the pilot and said "Please can you teach me how to fly an aeroplane?"

The pilot replied, "i will teach you how to fly a plane if you'll tell your colleagues to stop making noise (knowing he won't do it).

The mad man went in, after some minutes, everywhere was so silent and calm as if an angel had entered the plane.

A minutes later, the mad man came back and told the pilot that everywhere was cool now!

The pilot became happy and asked "what did you do to them that made them to keep calm?"

The mad man replied, "I opened the door for them to go and play outside"

The pilot fainted🙄

 

[Kadhi Mkuu 1]

Kwahiyo huko kwenu kumuona mlemavu ni kituko?? Una laana wewe

Soma Tena comment yangu kama Kuna neno mlemavu. Nimesema wewe ni mdada mweupe na unaombaomba sana pesa Kwa wanaume ndiyo maana umekasirika kwenye hicho kituko.

 

[antimatter]

Last friday was my Birthday. My girlfriend didn't wish me a happy Birthday.

My parents forgot also and so did my friends...

I went to work and even my Colleagues didn't wish me a happy Birthday. As I entered my office, my Secretary said, "Happy Birthday Boss".....mmmhh, I felt so special. She asked me out for Lunch.

After Lunch, she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said, "Do you mind if I go into the Bedroom for a minute?"

"Nope", I said.... She came out 10 minutes later with a Birthday Cake and Champaigne.. My girlfriend, My parents, my friends and my Colleagues...all screaming....."Surprise!!!!!

Guess What Happened?!

I was waiting on the Sofa.....Naked🙄

 

[antimatter]

I have changed my car hooter. It sounds like a gunshot instead of that "beep - beep" sound.

Trust me, it's amazing now, people disperse faster on the road when i hoot now😁

 

[antimatter]

Very short people are quite funny when wearing sun hats. . They look exactly like mushrooms😁

 

[antimatter]

There are many things we can learn from Dogs - like being Loyal, protective, caring and loving unconditionally. But, regrettably, we choose to learn only one thing:-
Dog Style...Why?😁

 

[ngosha wa mwanza]

Ni kulekule jiji la mawe tena View attachment 2372068

Hii itakua upaleni

 

[antimatter]

Nobody Lowers their voice than a guy who asks for a girl's number In a commuter bus😁

 

[Taavid]

View attachment 2372061

Kha

 

[Taavid]

Hahaha...
Amewakera Wana reggae!

Kabisa mkuu

 

[Themann]

View attachment 2372067

Afe nayo TU sialitaka sifa za kujitunza

 

[Themann]

...

Sure thing

 

[Taavid]

 

[Taavid]