Vituko mitandaoni. Tupia chako

[Dormant Account]

[emoji23][emoji23]View attachment 2352772

Nani anaolewa hapo[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

 

[Dormant Account]

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[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

 

[Dormant Account]

Rate My drawingView attachment 2352984

Oyaaaa ehh [emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji440][emoji440]

 

[Dormant Account]

Ehh

 

[Dormant Account]

Upo nyonyo

 

[Dormant Account]

WALE WANAWAKE MNAOPENDA WANAUME WEUSI WAREFU WACHUKUENI BASI WALE JAMAA WAMECHEZA NA YANGA!![emoji16][emoji16][emoji16][emoji16][emoji16][emoji16][emoji16][emoji16][emoji16][emoji16]

 

[Taavid]

Nani anaolewa hapo[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

Mpaka muda huu wageni waalikwa hawaelewi[emoji23][emoji23]

 

[Taavid]

Upo nyonyo View attachment 2353488

Nyonyo nyonyo[emoji16]

 

[antimatter]

Wedding..
I was at a wedding ceremony the other day, the officiating priest asked if there was any one who had anything to say regarding the union of the two..

Hell broke loose when a woman at the back with a child started walking to the front toward the couple; the church was dead quiet and the bride fainted!

The priest asked whether she had anything to say, and she said:
"Yes"
"We cannot hear you very well at the back!!!"

 

[antimatter]

Bus..​

On a Bus going from Tanga to Arusha, the phone of a girl sitting close to me rang, she picks it and said:
"Honey, i'm in a bus going to Lindi for the burial, i will call you when i get there".

Another girl's phone rang, she said:
"Sweet heart, i'm on my way to Dar es Salaam for the masters degree application form, please send some money for the trip".

The other one's phone rang, she said:
"Bae sorry, i'm on my way to Mbeya for the interview, i will call you later"

A Guy who was sitting at the back of the bus suddenly shouted in anger:
"Driver, stop please, pack this bus, where exactly is this bus heading to??!!!

 

[antimatter]

Accident..​

A crowd gathered at an accident scene and a smart and nosey journalist wanted to get the story first hand:

"Make way, I am the victim's son" he shouted.
He continued shouting...
Slowly, the crowd paved way for him.
On getting there, lying lifeless, in front of the car was a goat!

 

[antimatter]

Names..​

Son: mum why did aunty Faith name her daughter Rose?
Mum: you know some people name their children after what they like most.
Son: so, what's the meaning of my name?
Mum: Dick-son, please leave me alone😊

 

[antimatter]

Booze..​

My sister, if your guy takes you out to parties, or fancy night clubs and spoils you with expensive booze, please keep in mind that he doesn't see any wife material in you...
No man in this world want to get married to a drunken monster 🙄

 

[antimatter]

A girl realized that she had grown hair between her legs.
She got worried and asked her Mother about it.
Her Mother calmly said,
That part where Hair has grown is called Monkey and be proud that your Monkey has grown Hair."
The girl smiled...
At dinner, the girl told her Sister, "My Monkey has grown Hair!"

Her Sister smiled and said, "That's nothing dear, Mine is already eating Bananas!

Their Mother Fainted right on the Dinning table🙄

 

[antimatter]

How to deal with someone who disturbs you with endless, unnecessary calls...​

Go to Fb and insta, advertise iphone 13 pro max for sh 100,000, leave his phone numbers as contacts, then sit back, smile and drink some chilled juices..
Leave God to fight your battle😊

 

[antimatter]

Ironically, neighbours will always see the Lady you brought to your place at Night, but they won't see the Robber who broke into your House, even if it occurred during the Day!!!

 

[antimatter]

Can Someone shed some light..
•When they Advertise Toothpaste, they show us Clean, White and Healthy Teeth, Right?
•When they Advertise a Body Lotion, they show us Fresh & Healthy Skin, Right?
•So why don't they show us anything when they advertise Pads ??!!!

 

[antimatter]

Anytime you see a girl shaking her buttocks while walking, just Know she is going to her guy's place...
How did I know This??
Because it's written in syrup bottles "shake well before use"😊

 

[Shimba ya Buyenze]

Uongo ni shida..​

Jumapili iliyopita baada ya ibada Kanisani, Mchungaji akamuona Petro akiperuzi simu aliyonunua kwa sh 650,000 hivi karibuni..
Mazungumzo yakawa hivi:
Mchungaji: mtumishi Petro, simu nzuri hii..
Petro: naam, asante Mchungaji
Mchungaji: uliinunua lini?
Petro: kama wiki 3 hivi zilizopita
Mchungaji: Kwa bei gani?
Petro: (kwa kuwa huwa hatoi sadaka wala ZAKA, akawaza kuwa akisema kweli italeta picha mbaya..,) ni sh elfu 50 tu Mchungaji..
Mchungaji: oohoo, vizuri sana. Ebu nisubiri hapa..
Petro: sawa
Mchungaji: chukuwa laki moja hii hapa, Kesho uniletee simu 2 kama hii yako Kwa ajili ya mimi na mama Mchungaji..
Petro: sawa..

Saivi Petro anahangaika kutafuta mkopo wa haraka wa riba nafuu akanunulie hizo simu🙄

Si aseme tu kakuta zimeisha? 😁😁

 

[Mwl.RCT]

Sijui la wazinzi lingekuwajeView attachment 2347465

Wapewe heshima yao, Wanaongoza kwa kulipa kodi kwa mujibu wa Takwimu za kila mwaka