Vituko mitandaoni. Tupia chako

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🤣
Mjeda wa mchongo!

 

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🤣
Kabla..
Ukimaliza anakuzoea

 

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Rate My drawingView attachment 2352984

Very good!

 

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Nimecheka balaaView attachment 2353089View attachment 2353090View attachment 2353091

🤣🤣

 

[Taavid]

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[Taavid]

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Sio yeye

 

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Malaika
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Daah..!
mzabzab , chelewa chelewa..

 

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Wanyaki ndiyo mnapenda tozo eeeh!?
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CHAWA ni waongo mnoo🙄

 

[amadala]

 

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Muhindi na Kiswahili..​

(1) Mfa maji ?……………….. Tampa life jacket.
(2) Mwenda pole?………… Tachelewa fika.
(3) Usipoziba ufa ?……….. Mizi taona mpaka dani.
(4) Usilolijua ?……………… Uliza google.
(5) Mbio za utelezini ?……. Chafua guo yako.
(6) Ukipenda boga ?……… Ngoja mezi ya ramzani tapata.
(7) Ukiona vinaelea ?…….. iko nyepesi hiyo.
(8) Maji yakimwagika ?…… Mambie dada tapiga deki.
(9) Chelewa chelewa ?……… Takosa guo ya sikukuu…
(10) Kila ndege ?………….. …Hutua Airport
(11) Bandu bandu ?….. …….Rafiki yake Jecha
(12) Mtaka cha Mvunguni ?… Ondoa tanda
(13) Simba mwenda kimya?….Kama sio gonjwa basi haina njaa.
(14) Aisifuye mvua ?………. Najua iko Mkulima hiyo
(15) Barabara ndefu ?…….. Ongeza mwendo au tachelewa fika.
(16) Mlanawe hafi nawe ila?…. Takimbia
(17) Asie sikia la mkuu ? …….. Tapeleka jela
(18) Hasira za mkizi ? …………..Tatafuna veve
(19) Mchamba wima ?…….. Karibu ya Hurumzi
(20) Akumurikae mchana ?….Kipofu hiyo
(21) Mficha maradhi ?…….. Taenda Loliondo
(22) Mkataa wingi ? ……….Taenda Chadema
(23) Bendera ?……………. Kama sio ya CCM, ya Chadema au ya CUF
(24) Baniani mbaya ?……. Peleka Bombay Lakini sio HB kweli, naonea tu
(25) Akili nyingi ?………. Tapasi mtihani yote
(26) Penye kuku wengi ? …….. Chija bili tatu ivi, hapana mtu najua.

 

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Harusi..​

Jamaa mmoja alialikwa ktk harusi.
Akafika mlango Wa 1 umeandikwa kulia ni ndugu Wa maharusi, kushoto ni wageni waalikwa, akaenda kushoto maana yy alialikwa.

Akakuta mlango wa 2 umeandikwa kulia wenye zawadi kushoto wasio na zawadi..

Yeye hakuwa na zawadi..

Mlango Wa 3 umeandikwa kulia wanawake kushoto waume akapita kushoto..

Ghafla akajikuta ametokea mtaani hukoo.. 😊

Tujifunze kutoa maana kuna watu hawatakagi ujinga!!!

 

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Uongo ni shida..​

Jumapili iliyopita baada ya ibada Kanisani, Mchungaji akamuona Petro akiperuzi simu aliyonunua kwa sh 650,000 hivi karibuni..
Mazungumzo yakawa hivi:
Mchungaji: mtumishi Petro, simu nzuri hii..
Petro: naam, asante Mchungaji
Mchungaji: uliinunua lini?
Petro: kama wiki 3 hivi zilizopita
Mchungaji: Kwa bei gani?
Petro: (kwa kuwa huwa hatoi sadaka wala ZAKA, akawaza kuwa akisema kweli italeta picha mbaya..,) ni sh elfu 50 tu Mchungaji..
Mchungaji: oohoo, vizuri sana. Ebu nisubiri hapa..
Petro: sawa
Mchungaji: chukuwa laki moja hii hapa, Kesho uniletee simu 2 kama hii yako Kwa ajili ya mimi na mama Mchungaji..
Petro: sawa..

Saivi Petro anahangaika kutafuta mkopo wa haraka wa riba nafuu akanunulie hizo simu🙄

 

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Mme na mke..​

Jamaa karudi toka kazini mpole na hana furaha!
MKE; Vipi leo mbona mpole?
MUME; Ofisi yetu imeungua na watu wote waliokuwemo wamekufa.
MKE; Ilikuaje wewe ukapona?
MUME; Nilikua chooni jirani na ofisi najisaidia.
MKE; Loh maskini, familia zao itakuaje?
MUME; Watalipwa million 250 kila mfiwa.
MKE; (KWA HASIRA na ghadhabu..) Ona sasa na wewe kupenda kujisaidia saidia hovyo kwako umetukosesha mihela..
Bora ungeenda kujisaidia akhera huko..

 

[Jack Daniel]

Mwanaharakati

 

[Jack Daniel]

N

 

[Jack Daniel]

Mdogo mdogo

 

[Bushmamy]

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Haaaaa Haaaaa jamani

 

[Mawardat]

Wasukuma kwa kukosea namba hawajambo

 

[Mawardat]

Vayolensi

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Kwahiyo

 

[Dormant Account]

Amber Rutty na Mmewe (Mtopali)View attachment 2351774

Nn hii