Vituko mitandaoni. Tupia chako

[Mshana Jr]

Kuna mdada humu humu View attachment 2319795

Ngoja nimtag au sema suu

 

[carbamazepine]

View attachment 2318327

au sio

 

[Mshana Jr]

View attachment 2319800

Akinywa kinywaji laini sana Bingwa

 

[Mshana Jr]

View attachment 2319833

Hiyo ni kupigwa kula

 

[Mshana Jr]

MTU mzima hovyo

 

[mwakyindi]

Hizi kobaz zimekuwa nyingi mjini yan unapishana na mtu mnaajikuta mnaangaliana miguuni, kila unapopita watu wanakuangalia miguuni halafu unaonekana bishoo nilikuja kumuachia dogo nikanunua viatu vingine

mm ivi ndy viatu vyangu masaa24

 

[prumpeti]

.

 

[antimatter]

Huku ndiko kuumbuka​

Umeenda kutembea ukweni kwako, baada ya chakula cha usiku unapewa chumba chakulala.

Usiku unataka kutoka kwenda kujisaidia, kwa sababu taa zimezimwa unaparamia vyombo vya chakula sebleni, kipindi unajaribu kupapasa uviweke sawa, mara taa inawashwa na mama mkwe anaona umeshika vyombo anakuuliza, baba kama hukushiba si ungesema tuu?!!!

 

[Mshana Jr]

 

[Mshana Jr]

 

[mwakyindi]

View attachment 2319943

😥dah ilishawai nikuta hii

 

[Youngblood]

Hatari

 

[Dormant Account]

Hatari View attachment 2319966

Matapeli watupu

 

[antimatter]

JENNY​

Jamaa 1 alikuwa amekaa zake sebuleni anasoma gazet, ghafla akapigwa kwa frampen ya Moto uson na mkewe!

JAMAA: VP tena darling kulikon?

MKE: kwenye surual yako wakat najiandaa kuifua nimekuta kikaratas kimeandikwa "JENNY", unaweza ukanieleza huyo JENNY ni nani kwako?

JAMAA: aaah! wik ilopita nlikuwa kwenye mashindano ya farasi, na Jenny ndo jina alobandikwa farasi wangu yan farasi wangu aliitwa JENNY!

MKE: sorry darling!

Siku ilofuata jamaa akiwa amekaa kwenye kochi akiangalia mechi ya mpira Kwa TV,, alishtukia tena frampen ya moto ya uso "kwaaang!"

JAMAA: Uwiiiiiii! jamani darling wangu, unaua walahi... kulikon tena?

MKE: farasi wako kapiga simu🙄

 

[antimatter]

Drunker​

In an alcohol factory the regular taster died and the director started looking for a new one to hire.

A drunkard with ragged, dirty look came to apply for the position.
The director of the factory wondered how to send him away.

They tested him.

They gave him a glass with a drink. He tried it and said,
"It’s red wine, a muscat, three years old, grown on a north slope, matured in steel containers."
"That’s correct", said the boss.
Another glass; "It’s red wine , Cabernet, eight years old, a southwestern slope, oak barrels."
"Correct."

The director was astonished.
He winked at his secretary to suggest something.

She brought in a glass of urine. The alcoholic tried it.

"It’s a blonde, 26 years old, pregnant in the third month. And if you don’t give me the job, I’ll also tell who’s the father!" 😎

 

[antimatter]

Radio​

Mwanamke mmoja alimpa mme wake radio aende nayo chooni ili asiboreke kwa vile huwa anakaa muda mrefu.
Basi alivyotoka mazungumzo yakawa hivi:
Mke: enheee, mume wangu, vipi uli enjoy?
Mume: aaah, wajinga hawa!, Wameniwekea wimbo wa taifa nimejisaidia huku nimesimama🙄

 

[lyenyi]

Mbongo mpe picha...

 

[lyenyi]

 

[Mshana Jr]

Hatari View attachment 2319966

Sisitielo ndio nyingi

 

[Mshana Jr]

Radio​

Mwanamke mmoja alimpa mme wake radio aende nayo chooni ili asiboreke kwa vile huwa anakaa muda mrefu.
Basi alivyotoka mazungumzo yakawa hivi:
Mke: enheee, mume wangu, vipi uli enjoy?
Mume: aaah, wajinga hawa!, Wameniwekea wimbo wa taifa nimejisaidia huku nimesimama

Hahaha