Mbaga Jr
JF-Expert Member
- May 28, 2018
- 43,898
- 103,977
Niliileta kama ambavyo niliikuta huko duniani, mbona ile ya mwanamke kula Mavi watu wanajifanya ety mwanamke kaonewa wakati ile ilkuwa ni kazi na alilipwa.
Vituko mitandaoni. Tupia chako
Vituko mitandaoni. Tupia chako
- Thread starter Mshana Jr
- Start date
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- Tags
- vituko mtandaoni
Mawardat
JF-Expert Member
- Apr 27, 2021
- 25,900
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Donnie Charlie
JF-Expert Member
- Sep 16, 2009
- 18,550
- 21,676
Penis on the Board
There is a teacher, teaching sex ed to a bunch of 5th graders.
She walks to the chalkboard and draws a huge penis on the board!
She turns to the class and simply asked the class, "Class, does and one know what that is?"
The class sits silently for a second or two then little Johnny stands from the back!
He yells, "I know what that is! It's a PENIS! I know cause my dad's got two!"
"The small one he pee's from, the big one he brushes the babysitters teeth with!"
There is a teacher, teaching sex ed to a bunch of 5th graders.
She walks to the chalkboard and draws a huge penis on the board!
She turns to the class and simply asked the class, "Class, does and one know what that is?"
The class sits silently for a second or two then little Johnny stands from the back!
He yells, "I know what that is! It's a PENIS! I know cause my dad's got two!"
"The small one he pee's from, the big one he brushes the babysitters teeth with!"
I LOVE GIRLS
JF-Expert Member
- Nov 17, 2020
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Donnie Charlie
JF-Expert Member
- Sep 16, 2009
- 18,550
- 21,676
Caught by the Cop
A man and his wife were driving on the highway when a state policeman appeared in their mirror, obviously wanting them to pull over.The man pulls over, and the officer approaches the car.
State cop: "License and registration please."
Man: "I`m sorry officer, what seems to be the problem?"
State cop: "I clocked you on radar doing 75mph."
Man: "There must be some mistake, I was only going 65."
Wife: "Oh Harold, you were going at least 80!"
State cop: "I`m also citing you for having a tail light out."
Man: "But officer, I wasn`t aware it was out."
Wife: "Oh Harold, you know it`s been out for two months."
State cop: "I`m also fining you for not wearing your seat belt."
Man: "But officer, I just took it off as you were approaching my car."
Wife: "Oh Harold, you know you never wear your seat belt."
Man: "Listen you dumb *&^%$, shut your !@#$` mouth!!!"
State cop: "Ma`am, does he always talk to you this way?"
Wife: "Only when he`s drunk......."
A man and his wife were driving on the highway when a state policeman appeared in their mirror, obviously wanting them to pull over.The man pulls over, and the officer approaches the car.
State cop: "License and registration please."
Man: "I`m sorry officer, what seems to be the problem?"
State cop: "I clocked you on radar doing 75mph."
Man: "There must be some mistake, I was only going 65."
Wife: "Oh Harold, you were going at least 80!"
State cop: "I`m also citing you for having a tail light out."
Man: "But officer, I wasn`t aware it was out."
Wife: "Oh Harold, you know it`s been out for two months."
State cop: "I`m also fining you for not wearing your seat belt."
Man: "But officer, I just took it off as you were approaching my car."
Wife: "Oh Harold, you know you never wear your seat belt."
Man: "Listen you dumb *&^%$, shut your !@#$` mouth!!!"
State cop: "Ma`am, does he always talk to you this way?"
Wife: "Only when he`s drunk......."
Donnie Charlie
JF-Expert Member
- Sep 16, 2009
- 18,550
- 21,676
Police Dog
A moron takes his dog for a walk. After awhile he gets thirsty so he ties his dog to a parking meter in front of a bar and goes in for a couple of beers.
After he has been there for an hour or so the local policeman enters the bar. "Whose dog is tied up out front?"
The moron responds, "That's my dog. Is there a problem officer?"
"Well she's in heat," says the cop."
"Oh, she'll be all right. It's shady out there."
"That's not what I mean. Your dog needs bred."
"I gave her a half of a loaf this morning. She's fine."
At this point the policeman is becoming a little upset. "Listen fellow. You don't seem to understand what I am talking about. That dog needs to be screwed.
"Go right ahead officer, I've always wanted a police dog."
A moron takes his dog for a walk. After awhile he gets thirsty so he ties his dog to a parking meter in front of a bar and goes in for a couple of beers.
After he has been there for an hour or so the local policeman enters the bar. "Whose dog is tied up out front?"
The moron responds, "That's my dog. Is there a problem officer?"
"Well she's in heat," says the cop."
"Oh, she'll be all right. It's shady out there."
"That's not what I mean. Your dog needs bred."
"I gave her a half of a loaf this morning. She's fine."
At this point the policeman is becoming a little upset. "Listen fellow. You don't seem to understand what I am talking about. That dog needs to be screwed.
"Go right ahead officer, I've always wanted a police dog."
Donnie Charlie
JF-Expert Member
- Sep 16, 2009
- 18,550
- 21,676
Politicians on a Bus Accident
A bus load of politicians were driving down a country road, when the bus ran off the road and crashed into a tree in an old farmer's field. The old farmer, after seeing what happened, went over to investigate.
A few days later, the local sheriff came out looking for the missing politicos, saw the crashed bus, and asked the farmer where all the politicians had gone.
The farmer said, "I buried 'em all... out back."
The sheriff then asked, "Were they ALL dead?"
The old farmer replied, "Well, some of them said they weren't, but you know how them politicians lie."
A bus load of politicians were driving down a country road, when the bus ran off the road and crashed into a tree in an old farmer's field. The old farmer, after seeing what happened, went over to investigate.
A few days later, the local sheriff came out looking for the missing politicos, saw the crashed bus, and asked the farmer where all the politicians had gone.
The farmer said, "I buried 'em all... out back."
The sheriff then asked, "Were they ALL dead?"
The old farmer replied, "Well, some of them said they weren't, but you know how them politicians lie."
Sipendi Uchawa
JF-Expert Member
- Dec 19, 2016
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Donnie Charlie
JF-Expert Member
- Sep 16, 2009
- 18,550
- 21,676
Irritation, Aggravation & Frustration
A boy asks his father to explain the differences among irritation, aggravation, and frustration.
Dad picks up the phone and dials a number at random. When the phone is answered he asks, "Can I speak to Roger, please?"
"No! There's no one called Roger here." The person hangs up.
"That's irritation," says Dad.
He picks up the phone again, dials the same number and asks for Roger a second time.
"No, there's no one here called Roger. Go away. Don't call again"
"That's aggravation."
"Then what's 'frustration'?" asks his son.
The father picks up the phone and dials a third time:
"Hello, this is Roger. Have I received any phone calls?"
A boy asks his father to explain the differences among irritation, aggravation, and frustration.
Dad picks up the phone and dials a number at random. When the phone is answered he asks, "Can I speak to Roger, please?"
"No! There's no one called Roger here." The person hangs up.
"That's irritation," says Dad.
He picks up the phone again, dials the same number and asks for Roger a second time.
"No, there's no one here called Roger. Go away. Don't call again"
"That's aggravation."
"Then what's 'frustration'?" asks his son.
The father picks up the phone and dials a third time:
"Hello, this is Roger. Have I received any phone calls?"
Donnie Charlie
JF-Expert Member
- Sep 16, 2009
- 18,550
- 21,676
Smart Man + Smart Woman = Romance
Smart Man + Dumb Woman = Pregnancy
Dumb Man + Smart Woman = Affair
Dumb Man + Dumb Woman = Marriage
Smart Boss + Smart Employee = Profits
Smart Boss + Dumb Employee = Production
Dumb Boss + Smart Employee = Promotion
Dumb Boss + Dumb Employee = Overtime
Smart Man + Dumb Woman = Pregnancy
Dumb Man + Smart Woman = Affair
Dumb Man + Dumb Woman = Marriage
Smart Boss + Smart Employee = Profits
Smart Boss + Dumb Employee = Production
Dumb Boss + Smart Employee = Promotion
Dumb Boss + Dumb Employee = Overtime
Itovanilo
JF-Expert Member
- Jul 30, 2018
- 2,310
- 5,157
bulletface
JF-Expert Member
- Jul 14, 2017
- 354
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Uwezi konda kama anakulaHapa inakuwa s starehe bali n uwanja wa vta, nmekumbuka kisa kimoja huku mtaan kuna dada alikimbia kwa mume.
Yaan mume anataka kila sku, yaan kila sku looh! Bint wa watu alikooonda, akakimbia
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