TEACHER: John, how do you spell crocodile? JOHN : K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L TEACHER: No, thats wrong JOHN : Maybe its wrong, but you asked me how I spell it! TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water? SARAH : HIJKLMNO!! TEACHER: What are you talking about? SARAH : Yesterday you said its H to O! TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America. GEORGE : Here it is! TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America? CLASS : George! TEACHER: Willy, name one bad thing we have today that we didnt have 30 years ago. WILLY : YOU! TEACHER: Why are you late? WEBSTER: Because of the sign. TEACHER: What sign? WEBSTER: The one that says, School Ahead, Go Slowly. TEACHER: In this box, I have a 10-foot snake. SAMMY : You cant fool me, Teacher snakes dont have feet. TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects? JOSE : Dont bite any. TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with I. ELLEN : I is TEACHER: No, Ellen. Always say, I am. ELLEN : All right I am the ninth letter of the alphabet. TEACHER: If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other what would I have? CLASS COMEDIAN STUDENT: Big hands! SILVIA: Dad, can you write in the dark? FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write? SYLVIA: Your name on this report card. MOTHER: Why on earth did you swallow the money I gave you? JUNIOR: You said it was my lunch money.