Men are cruel to single women

[Heaven Sent]

RRONDO wants it all.

Ni sawa tu. Bi mkubwa, pata baby kwao ndo anayetegemewa, afu nenda Ukatambulishwe na huku apeche alolo una familia inakutegemea, utakuja kuniambia. Huu uchumi ulivyokaza, hata wanaume wengi wanatamani wawe na wake wanaoweza kuwasupport hapa na pale. Si unaonaga wanaleta threads hapa "ukioa mwanamke maskini, umeoa ukoo mzima". Uwe na koo mbili zinazokutegemea mmmh? ??? Nimeshuhudia wanawake wengi tu wameachwa kisa wametoka poor families. Utegemezi unatuua, ingawa ni kitu ambacho hakiepukiki kwa nature ya maisha yetu wengi

 

[IamInLoveWithElders]

atoto atata

 

[Atoto]

Ni sawa tu. Bi mkubwa, pata baby kwao ndo anayetegemewa, afu nenda Ukatambulishwe na huku apeche alolo una familia inakutegemea, utakuja kuniambia. Huu uchumi ulivyokaza, hata wanaume wengi wanatamani wawe na wake wanaoweza kuwasupport hapa na pale. Si unaonaga wanaleta threads hapa "ukioa mwanamke maskini, umeoa ukoo mzima". Uwe na koo mbili zinazokutegemea mmmh? ??? Nimeshuhudia wanawake wengi tu wameachwa kisa wametoka poor families. Utegemezi unatuua, ingawa ni kitu ambacho hakiepukiki kwa nature ya maisha yetu wengi

Juzi tu kuna rafiki yangu alikwenda kutambulishwa, akaulizwa anafanya kazi gani? Nikawaza hivi kumbe hadi wakwe wanaulizaga haya maswali.

Akaanza kupewa darasa, oooh mama huyu ndio magufuli wetu hapa nyumbani, msijemkaoana mambo yakabadilika. Nikajisemea tu imbombo ngafu.

 

[Atoto]

atoto atata

Hahahaaaaaa!!!

 

[nguzo1]

There is this thread, some guy wrote about what to do and what not to if you want to be head hunted by men, among the what to do included being natural, normal, avoiding wearing too much make up and the like.
And here there is this thread pointing out that even being natural won't help.

I don't know what to call this.

Being real and natural is every man's desire to most of women the million dollar question is how many women out there have those packages

 

[Heaven Sent]

Juzi tu kuna rafiki yangu alikwenda kutambulishwa, akaulizwa anafanya kazi gani? Nikawaza hivi kumbe hadi wakwe wanaulizaga haya maswali.

Akaanza kupewa darasa, oooh mama huyu ndio magufuli wetu hapa nyumbani, msijemkaoana mambo yakabadilika. Nikajisemea tu imbombo ngafu.

Haha kama huna hela, tulia tu. Unataka umuongezee Reginald Mengi wao mzigo? ?? Siku hizi kukataliwa nje nje

 

[mwengeso]

Hivi kumbe wewe mwanamke, nilijua dume ati!!

Hivi mbona pointers zishatolewa sanaaa humu, hata sisi (mie my na my dota) tushazitoa, au unatakaje? Basi hebu mpe wewe hiyo unayohisi ni bora zaidi.

Alafu mbona nae nimeona update yake, au haujamsoma tena?

"atoto: Mimi ni mwanaume tena babu. Kuishi kwingi kuona mengi. Nina "single" kwenye familia.

"Sonnet" is complaing about "cruelity of men" because she is single.

"Pointers" mnazozitoa ni sawa na 'update' yake "Sonnet" zinaowaleteleza maisha ya 'single'.

Ameandika: "I think we should not stoop so low as to accept anybody who comes our way even if we have nothing in common with them. Silently watch and observe him".

For sure with such belief, a woman will never at all trust a man for marriage and thus, my question remains relevant:

WHAT IS IN A MARRIAGE TO A WOMAN? - conversely - WHO DETERMINES MARRIAGE?

Sihitaji jibu mimi na wanaume wengine ila akina mama ambao hamjaolewa ni swali la kujiuliza.

Wanaume wengi wanaoa usiku na kuacha asubuhi (hit and run). Na baadhi ya wachangiaji humu ni "victims" wa ndoa hizo naamini.

TUONDOKANE NA NDOA HIZO ZINAZOZALISHA WATOTO WA MITAANI (ambao theluthi 2 ni watoto wa mzazi mmoja, hasa mwanamke).

 

[Heaven Sent]

Yaani akiondoka na aende tu walaaa hauna haja ya kujilaumu sana, mengine hutokea ili anaestahili aje. Walaa siji kuregret na kuliwazia. Yawezekana alikwenda akafanikiwa ndio lkn angekuwa na mimi hakuna rangi ningeacha ona. Watu waache kuwa waoga na kufurahisha watu kwa kung'ang'ania muhogo mchungu.

Kuna mwanaume mmoja rafiki yangu aliniuliza 'umeolewa'? Nikamjibu bado, akaniambia hata usithubutu maisha ya ndoa sio kabisa. Nilimjibu tu, wewe kwakuwa yako imebuma it daznt mean na yangu imebuma au zote zimebuma, kwani hakuna wanaofurahia ndoa zao?

The right one will come and i'll get married, am not praying for anything bad to happen, and my Lord will never dissapoint me.

Dota hakuna kitu kinamnyima mwanaume kujiamini kama kutokuwa na pesa, wanajitutumua tu ila ukweli wanaujua, ndio maana utaona comment zao zote zina mrengo huo, usione huwa nahubiri pesa wananichukia bure ila nawatafutia confidence.

Kuna watu kisa wao ndoa zimewashinda, wanawish kila mtu ndoa imshinde pia

Bwana weweee, kufulia kusikie tu Kwa jirani yako

 

[Atoto]

Haha kama huna hela, tulia tu. Unataka umuongezee Reginald Mengi wao mzigo? ?? Siku hizi kukataliwa nje nje

Bahati nzuri bibie kwao hawana dhiki kihivyo!! Ila nilimuona tu alivyokuwa dissapointed. Haya mambo bwana!!!

 

[Karucee]

In my opinion once a woman goes her separate way, she wants to get hitched as soon as possible. And this in itself is a problem.

Men can sense desperation a continent away. And desperation spells availability. When a man 'sees' the availability of a woman, the inborn hunter gives up on the chase because of the lack of the thrill. Men like to chase a woman and with reason.

A single woman on the other hands wants to be in the arms of another man as soon as possible for some obvious reasons. Loneliness, financial gain although not in all cases and for some as a payback to their ex. Of course this comes with a hefty price.

I would like to advise my fellow women to take breaks between relationships. Learn from the lessons learnt and let them make u better.

 

[LebronWade]

Being real and natural is every man's desire to most of women the million dollar question is how many women out there have those packages

Mkuu ukipata mke ma.la.ya hakuna rangi utaacha kuona kwenye hii dunia...

Everything will turn upside down mpaka uende mbele za haki...

God forbid!

 

[Heaven Sent]

Bahati nzuri bibie kwao hawana dhiki kihivyo!! Ila nilimuona tu alivyokuwa dissapointed. Haya mambo bwana!!!

Of Coz lazima ikudisappoint. Mengine Mungu atuepushie tu mbali

 

[IamInLoveWithElders]

Hahahaaaaaa!!!

bora tu ukimbie...hamna namna

 

[Atoto]

"atoto: Mimi ni mwanaume tena babu. Kuishi kwingi kuona mengi. Nina "single" kwenye familia.

"Sonnet" is complaing about "cruelity of men" because she is single.

"Pointers" mnazozitoa ni sawa na 'update' yake "Sonnet" zinaowaleteleza maisha ya 'single'.

Ameandika: "I think we should not stoop so low as to accept anybody who comes our way even if we have nothing in common with them. Silently watch and observe him".

For sure with such belief, a woman will never at all trust a man for marriage and thus, my question remains relevant:

WHAT IS IN A MARRIAGE TO A WOMAN? - conversely - WHO DETERMINES MARRIAGE?

Sihitaji jibu mimi na wanaume wengine ila akina mama ambao hamjaolewa ni swali la kujiuliza.

Wanaume wengi wanaoa usiku na kuacha asubuhi (hit and run). Na baadhi ya wachangiaji humu ni "victims" wa ndoa hizo naamini.

TUONDOKANE NA NDOA HIZO ZINAZOZALISHA WATOTO WA MITAANI (ambao theluthi 2 ni watoto wa mzazi mmoja, hasa mwanamke).

Hakuna mtoto wa mzazi mmoja wewe!! Labda kama baba au mama amefariki.

Ulisema 'mwanamke mwenzetu' ndio maana nikakuuliza kumbe we mwanamke?

Kwahiyo unashauri watu wawe fake ili tu wapate waume? Ujibebee tu whomever comes yo way ili usiwe single?

Hayo maswali tunajiuliza sana na ndio maana tukatoa majibu.

 

[Atoto]

Kuna watu kisa wao ndoa zimewashinda, wanawish kila mtu ndoa imshinde pia

Bwana weweee, kufulia kusikie tu Kwa jirani yako

Kwakweli dota kufulia sio kabisaaaa.

 

[Castr]

Being real and natural is every man's desire to most of women the million dollar question is how many women out there have those packages

The one with the package is here complaining, imagine how many of them have that package but they decided not to battle anymore long tym ago.

 

[DALA]

There I said it, its a cruel world for a single woman. I know that for a fact because I am one.

This post is not a "I am looking for a husband post", I already wrote such a post about a year ago, right here at Jamii Forum, with sad, disheartening results. Not one serious man responded, my inbox was full of jokers, pranksters and alas the married man...

This post is for fellow single women and for some men to have a glimpse of what it feels like to be single. To watch your friends and relatives get married and to have the rest of the world mock you for being single, as if it were your fault, as if you wouldn't change that in an instant if you could. (wouldn't you ladies)

So ladies (and gents), why are we single?
I really don't know. Could it be that the men around us are officially blind? Could it be that their minds are saturated with retouched instagram/facebook pics of women with perfect bodies, gorgeous skin, thin waist, perky breasts and butt. That for real they wouldn't spot a normal natural good looking woman even if an angel descended on earth and personally pointed towards the girl's direction?

Could it be that we girls love too deeply and we trust too much? Tell me what is wrong with loving someone? With believing him when he tells you he loves you and wants to spend the rest of his life with you. Is it our fault that all we get instead is a broken heart and a wet pillow from crying ourselves to sleep?

There must be something wrong with me, you wonder; I am a born again Christian woman who embraces her imperfections and acknowledges that through Christ everyday I become a better me.
Maybe I am too old? Age is nothing but a number so a woman can never be too old. Since you wondered I am thirty years old.
Maybe I am a single mother? I am not. I have never been married and I don't have children. (However even if I was, WHAT IS WRONG WITH BEING A SINGLE MOTHER? why can't you look past that and see the wonderful woman in-front of you?)
Maybe I am always asking a man for money? Nope - I have my own. With a university education and a good highly satisfying job that pays me around 2 million or so per month, I can pay my own bills thank you.
Maybe I can't cook you think? I can cook in a way that would put Jamie Oliver to shame
Maybe I don't clean or wash? Nope that isn't it, I'm clean as clean can be .
Maybe I am short, fat and ugly? I am not bad on the eyes I would like to think, thin body (with an athletic build thanks to aerobics, swimming and some weightlifting here n there to keep me toned), shoulder length hair, good skin and I am ever so comfortable being seen without makeup on my face.

So why am I single? I don't know. But what I do know is Tanzanian men should spot judging us from our marital status but from who we are as human beings. Look at my heart not my body, look at my mind not my ass, look at my education and job accomplishments and for heaven sake stop judging me from my age, or whether or not I have children.

If you dear reader want to be helpful, maybe you can give us single women some pointers on how and where we can meet available men.

As a concluding remark, if Prince Harry can fall in love with a black, divorced woman three years his senior, maybe just maybe there is hope for the rest of us.

"Sonnet"

Update

I am sorry if l offended anyone by posting in English. I didn't mean to make anybody feel left out. Sometimes I use Swahili, Sometimes I use English, Its not me being fake, its just me being myself. Sorry once again.

Samahani kwa kutumia kiswahali, sikutaka mtu yeyote ajihisi vibaya. Wakati mwingine natumia kiswahili na wakati mwingine natumia kiingereza. Sikua na nia mbaya. Nisamehe kwa hilo.

Girl, I think we should not stoop so low as to accept anybody who comes our way even if we have nothing in common with them.
Silently watch and observe him,
-How often does he go to church? (or other place of worship)
-How does he treat you?
-Is he rude, bad mannered and disrespectful to others around him (especially to women,) e.g the waitress serving you food or the askari at the entrance.
-Does he drink alcohol abit too much. (I actually prefer he doesn't drink alcohol at all)
-Don't sleep with him girl. No matter what he says. Even if he calls you "mke wangu" . Hata akikueleza "sema lini nije kujitambulisha" . "Taja mwenyewe tarehe". Once he realises the promise of marriage is not working as you refuse to sleep with him, he will surely disappear. Making way for the right man to come along.
-Before you fall deeply in love do ask him enough questions and carefully read into his answers? They will reveal who he really is.
-Trust your instinct, deep down you know if he is "The One" or the wrong one. Don't ignore that feeling. Not everyman is husband material.
There l said it.

I have written in various forums in and outside JF concerning the subject.

I have at personal level given my opinion to a number of few strong, smart and lovely women I happen to know.

This is because of a number of factors, in our very rich cultural context, women ought to be subordinates of men in the family level however, I cultural walls have been greatly shaken with the globalisation and most importantly gender concerns.

While I appreciate women empowerment and don't support men taking advantage of our culture to mistreat women, I remain strong in mind that there must be one strong person whose' consultation we demand and refer to at the family level. Naturally this is a man.

Unfortunately things have taken a very ugly shift especially when [HASHTAG]#Feminism[/HASHTAG] is introduced which in the actual sense seek to change the look of things. Women controlling men. Here comes the problem with you. You are just a victim of that school of thought. Many a man are not willing to commit to an extremely economically strong women because with them comes the psychological feeling that they can do without men which is true but they often go an extra mile to use their economic power to frastrate men.

This must change as much as you might be only thinking of being economically well as a positive gesture, majority of men would wish to handle good percentage of women's demands not only playing the PR of a family man and sperm donation.

I however think you seem to understand yourself best.

 

[EMT]

Hivi inapaswa mwanamke akifatwa na mwanaume yoyote akubali?hana/hajui kupenda huyu binti?

Kaaazi kweli kweli. Msipofuatwa mnadai men are "cruel". Cruel in either way?

 

[DjB]

Try to learn more about us before you judge us. Your issue is obvious!!

 

[EMT]

.... sasa mabinti wasilaumiwe kwa kukataa wanaume, simply mtu anaona hawezi kukuheshimu ndo mana...wanaume angalieni kama lipo la kujifunza hapa muache kulialia na kusimanga wanawake bure..

Naona kama mna-spin uzi. Mleta uzi ni mwanamke na anawalaumu wanaume kuwa ni cruel to single women.

Whether that is true I don't know because not all men are the same.

Kama mwanaume ameku-approach ukamkataa kwa sababu ha-meet vigezo vyako halafu akaanza kukusimanga, then tatizo ni lake; siyo lako.

If you're confident enough and you're focused on your stuff, sidhani kama utakuwa hata na muda wa kufuatilia hayo masimango.

Kama una msimano, you don't play games, have your own values, you treat and respect others, the whole society will respect you.

So, tuache kurushiana mpira. Tatizo liko in box sexes.