MwanajamiiOne
Platinum Member
- Jul 24, 2008
- 10,470
- 6,596
Sasa ni sahihi kusema kutokana na hayo maelezo hapo juu, tutakuwa sahihi tukisema kuwa for every cheating wife, the blame should go to the husband kwanza kabla ya kumtafuta mchawi?.
Haya ukimaliza ukuje, tusaidiane hapammmmhh...........??????
Pole chauro mwenzio ninachanganyikiwa kadri siku zinavyozidi kwenda utafikiri ndo naingia ukubwani leo, kumbe mtu hadi menopause inakataa!!MJ1 kama kuna tatizo sugu ni hili ulilosema hapa ngoja nile nishibe kwanza nisije nikaharibu menu!
Mchawi ni aliye cheat, mtu huwezi kusahihisha kosa kwa kufnya kosa jngne tna kubwa kulko, kucheat ni ksa kubwa mno regadless umesabbshwa na nn. Kwangu mm haina utetezi. mtu anayefanya hvyo ni mbaya sana.
No way Jose! I fundamentally and categorically reject that assertion. Cheating is a premeditated act. No one can make anyone cheat. The cheater cheats on his or her own will.
Deflecting blame to others is irresponsible and stupid. It is about time we start shooting straight and call things for what they are. How can a grown ass man or woman say that their spouse made them cheat? Did they tie you up or put a gun to your head and told you to go cheat?
People can call me whatever they want (eccentric, weird, odd, or whatever) but I just don't buy those kind of sorry ass excuses. You take off your clothes and sleep with someone other than your spouse, that is your fault. Man up or woman up and own it.
Heck, you were courageous enough to get naked and have sex with someone other than your spouse and now you don't have the courage to own up to what you did and you gonna blame someone else for it? Give me a break!
People, if you cheat don't start blaming others for it. Fess up and take responsibility.
Pole chauro mwenzio ninachanganyikiwa kadri siku zinavyozidi kwenda utafikiri ndo naingia ukubwani leo, kumbe mtu hadi menopause inakataa!!
Kelvin sweetheart, msitari wangu wa mwisho unaelezea kabisa kuwa hakuna sababu yoyote inayokubalika kwa kucheat. Ishu yangu ipo kwenye hizo nukuu mbili. Cheating an lack of communication.
Chukulia mifano hii
Scenerio I. Mwanamke mwenye mumewe ambaye (kwa sababu anazozijua yeye) anamdharau, anamuignore, hamjali na kumwuumiza psychologically. Na mwanaume huyo huyo hana compromise wala haitaji discussion yoyote ndani ya nyumba hata kama analeta chakula, analipa ada kwa watoto n.k But hana intimacy na mkewe. Na kwa bahati mbaya mke huyu hana guts/ uwezo wa kuquit hiyo relationship (either watoto, jamii n.k)
Scenerio II. Mwanaume anayeishi na mke anayemdharau, hamjali, yeye na remote (kama mnavyolalamika hapa). Mke ambaye kushiriki tendo la unyumba ni nadra, e.t.c..
Jamii inapoombwa kutoa ushauri kati ya hawa, mara nyingi utasikia mwanaume anaambiwa ......Kiboko ya mkeo, mtafutie msaidizi (nyumba ndogo) atanyooka. Lakini mwanamke anaambiwa avumilie ndio maisha ya ndoa yalivyo!!
Tukisema tuapply communication skills hapa, hebu tupeni ujuzi wengine hapa, katika situation kama hii, unavunjaje ukimya??
Kwa upande wa wanawake wanaocheat, the only 'Genuine' reason ambayo angalau imeonekana kukubalika ni kutokujaliwa, mume kuwa buzy na mambo mengine, kumuignore...
NB: There is no "Genuine" reason for cheating
Nakubaliana a wewe asilimia mia kwa mia.
Kelvin sweetheart, msitari wangu wa mwisho unaelezea kabisa kuwa hakuna sababu yoyote inayokubalika kwa kucheat. Ishu yangu ipo kwenye hizo nukuu mbili. Cheating an lack of communication.
Chukulia mifano hii
Scenerio I. Mwanamke mwenye mumewe ambaye (kwa sababu anazozijua yeye) anamdharau, anamuignore, hamjali na kumwuumiza psychologically. Na mwanaume huyo huyo hana compromise wala haitaji discussion yoyote ndani ya nyumba hata kama analeta chakula, analipa ada kwa watoto n.k But hana intimacy na mkewe. Na kwa bahati mbaya mke huyu hana guts/ uwezo wa kuquit hiyo relationship (either watoto, jamii n.k)
Scenerio II. Mwanaume anayeishi na mke anayemdharau, hamjali, yeye na remote (kama mnavyolalamika hapa). Mke ambaye kushiriki tendo la unyumba ni nadra, e.t.c..
Jamii inapoombwa kutoa ushauri kati ya hawa, mara nyingi utasikia mwanaume anaambiwa ......Kiboko ya mkeo, mtafutie msaidizi (nyumba ndogo) atanyooka. Lakini mwanamke anaambiwa avumilie ndio maisha ya ndoa yalivyo!!
Tukisema tuapply communication skills hapa, hebu tupeni ujuzi wengine hapa, katika situation kama hii, unavunjaje ukimya??
Mwenye kubanjua/kubanjuliwa nje ya mahusiano yake ndiye mwenye kubeba lawama.....Hakuna habari ya ku-share lawama katika kosa la uzinzi!
Kuhusu mawasiliano......hili ni janga kuu katika ndoa nyingi...Kama likiweza kupatiwa ufumbuzi...watu wanaweza kuongeza lifespan kwa zaidi ya 30%!!!
Nitarudi baadaye kidogo,
Babu DC!
...kwa mtizamo wangu, ukishaamua ku cheat, umejikubalisha na
matokeo ya kuachana/kuachika,...na katika na hayo....
Hakuna utetezi kwamba, "nime cheat sababu umekuwa una ni ignore!"
...ilikuwaje wakafikia hatua hii ya ndoa?
Mwanajamiione
I think whether to cheat or not, is ultimately the decision of the cheater. However we can not deny that in some cheating cases, how one reaches that point has a positive correlation with their spouse's actions!!
ps
Keyword here being "ultimately"
Mwenye kubanjua/kubanjuliwa nje ya mahusiano yake ndiye mwenye kubeba lawama.....Hakuna habari ya ku-share lawama katika kosa la uzinzi!
Kuhusu mawasiliano......hili ni janga kuu katika ndoa nyingi...Kama likiweza kupatiwa ufumbuzi...watu wanaweza kuongeza lifespan kwa zaidi ya 30%!!!
Nitarudi baadaye kidogo,
Babu DC!
wa unajitetea ... but kuna ile ya nakwenda motoni lakini nakwenda motoni nikiwa clean. Found guild out of cicumstances. Naimagine mwanamke/mume ambaye mkewe/mumewe amekuwa busy kwa muda mrefu (sijui kama tunakubaliana kuwa kuna wanandoa wengine wanakaa hata miaka miwili. mitatu wakiwa ignored simply because mume amejipatia mahali pa kulaza kichwa chake. Anahemea (Ingawa amepata pa kulaza kichwa chake.ndio maana nilihoji inakuwaje wana ndoa hufikia hapo?
mada hii si ngumu kiviiile....
...kwa mtizamo wangu, ukishaamua ku cheat, umejikubalisha na
matokeo ya kuachana/kuachika,...na katika na hayo....
Hakuna utetezi kwamba, "nime cheat sababu umekuwa una ni ignore!"
=MwanajamiiOne;2783546]Aksante Darl. Tunakubaliana lkuwa kuna sababu hakuna marefu yasokuwa na chanzo. Baadhi ya marefu haya ni
Kwa Mke
1. Mume kwa sababu moja au nyingine he doesnt find the wife attractive anymore- anaanza kudoubt penzi lake kwakev2. Baada ya kuwekwa kwenye himaya ya mume, mume akaamua kuyarudia makoloni au koloni lake na mapenzi yote kuhamia kwa small houses na yale maviapo ya laiti ningejua nisingemuoa. (Ikifikia hali hii jua kuwa uwezekano wa mke kumketisha mume chini kumweleza kuwa hapendi alivyobadilika siku hizi, ni ndogo sana. Mume atafanya juu chini asimpe nafasi mke kumbana.
2. Mume ameshamchoka, (after three to four years love lifespan yake imekwisha - kuwa alimwoa outs of infatuation and not love. Sasa all he feels kwa mkewe ni hatrage and hata muda wa discuss naye issues anaona kero e.t.c.
Mume:ri ikamtia jeu nzu1
1. Mke amepata kazi nzuri ikamtia jeuri na kumwona mume mwanaume suruali hana hali wala muhali
2. Mke amepata mshefa huko barabarani mwenye kumfanya amwone mumewe si mali kitu asimbabaishe (kumbuka victim hapa ni Mbaba anayenyimwa haki zake za ndoa. e.t.c.
Sasa hapa victims tunawashauri vipi kurejesha mawasiliano?????
Kwa kuanzia BAbu unakubali kuwa kuna reasons behind??