laugh out loud loooooool

There are 3 rooms
1. Gold Coins
2. Currency Notes
3. Cotton Bags
If the 3 rooms catch FIRE, on which room will the ambulance pour water 1st?
Reply to me and I'll tell you what your IQ is!
 
MTOTO: Baba ntumie hela ya matumizi huku shuleni hali ni mbaya la sivyo ntajinyonga.
BABA:huku nyumbani hali ni mbaya kuliko huko shuleni kwahiyo kama unajinyonga sawa tu kwa sababu utapunguza bajeti. Kopa kamba dukani nitakuja kulipa nitakapokuja kuchukuwa mwili. Mungu akulaze mahali pema peponi :hurt:
 
Mlevi anarudi na rafiki yake mgeni nyumbani kwake na kuanza kumuelekeza hii ni nyumba yangu na lile ni gari langu,wakaingia ndani wanalikuta njemba limelala na mke wa mlevi bila wasiwasi mlevi anaendelea kuelekeza kile ni kitanda changu, yule ni mke wangu na yule aliyelala naye ni MIMI
 
Ushost bana, una mambo. Hapo wanaongea . . .

Shosti - Mwenzangu, mume wangu ananisaliti.
Husniyo - Umejuaje?
Shosti- Nampigia sim namuuliza uko wapi, akaniambia yuko na MS wakati MS mwenyewe nilikuwa nae guest?? Si unaona huyu mwanaume alivyokosa uaminifu?
 
Mohammed Shossi said:
Mlevi anarudi na rafiki yake mgeni nyumbani kwake na kuanza kumuelekeza hii ni nyumba yangu na lile ni gari langu,wakaingia ndani wanalikuta njemba limelala na mke wa mlevi bila wasiwasi mlevi anaendelea kuelekeza kile ni kitanda changu, yule ni mke wangu na yule aliyelala naye ni MIMI
Click to expand...

Nimecheka mpaka nimezimia. Hapa nasubiri m2 wa kunimwagia maji simuoni. Sijui ntazinduka saa ngapi na muda wa lunch ndo huu...!
 
Bibi mmoja kaenda hospital, kufika akamwambia Dr nishazaa watoto wengi sasa nataka kupumzika nipe dawa. Dr akampa box la condom, akapokea akauliza- Nimeze na maji au maziwa? Dr akamtazama akamwambia, meza na M**o.....
 
mchungaji mmoja katika
mahubiri yake huwa
anachangamsha sana waumini
wake,kwa mfano utakuta katikati ya
mahubiri utasikia "..Muambie jirani
yako..Yesu anakupenda!" basi kwa
furaha na mbwembwe kila mtu
atamuambia jirani yake,kisha
mchungaji anasema "pokea upendo
wa bwanaa!"..Sasa jana mchungaji
alikuwa anahubiri kuhusu wanawake
wasiopata watoto,sasa katikati ya
mahubiri akasema "...Muambie
jirani yako,mwaka huu utapata
mimba!" bila kujali watu wamekaa
na nani jirani wengi tulikaa kimya
kwani unakuta umekaa na
mwanaume mwenzio.Mara ikasikika
tu mtu kapigwa kofi huko nyuma
alafu mtoto akaanza kulia ile
tunageuka tunakutana na baba
akimwambia mwanae wa kiume
"..Ukome!".
 
Mshikaj mmoja alikuwa na ding yake, akamwona dem wake anakuja, bahat mbaya dingi alikuwa mkali sana na mazungumzo yao yalikuwa hiv...
MSHIKAJ: Umekuja kuchukua kile kitabu cha speak english my father doesn't know?
DEMU: Yeah, na kile cha where should l wait u?
MSHKAJ: Dah! hicho hakipo labda kile cha wait me under the coconut tree!
DEMU: Sawa ucsahau kile cha I give u 5 minutes. MSHIKAJ: Yeah, nitakupa pia na kile cha I wont let you down.
DING: mbona vingi sana atavisoma vyote?
MSHIKAJ: Aaah, huyu dada anasoma sana vitabu na ndo anatuongoza Darasan.
DING: Mpe basi na kile cha I am not that much stupid...
 
Wahaya kwa mbwembwe hawana mpinzani,jamaa ni mhudumu wa mochuari sasa anavyojitambulisha kwenye harusi,my name is Kamugisha am working with Muhimbili,infact professionally nawahudumia watu ambao madaktari bingwa wameshindwa kunusuru uhai wao. Da!
 
Mohammed Shossi said:
Wahaya kwa mbwembwe hawana mpinzani,jamaa ni mhudumu wa mochuari sasa anavyojitambulisha kwenye harusi,my name is Kamugisha am working with Muhimbili,infact professionally nawahudumia watu ambao madaktari bingwa wameshindwa kunusuru uhai wao. Da!
Click to expand...

hahahahahaha! Lol
 
Mohammed Shossi said:
Ushost bana, una mambo. Hapo wanaongea . . .

Shosti - Mwenzangu, mume wangu ananisaliti.
Husniyo - Umejuaje?
Shosti- Nampigia sim namuuliza uko wapi, akaniambia yuko na MS wakati MS mwenyewe nilikuwa nae guest?? Si unaona huyu mwanaume alivyokosa uaminifu?
Click to expand...
hahahahahahaha labda na yeye alikuwa na husninyo...
 
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BUBU NDANI YA MAHAKAMA!
Alipoulizwa jina lake, bubu alijishika koo na mb#o.
Hakimu kakasirika kwa nini bubu anatania mahakama.
Ikabidi atafutwe Mkalimani akatafsiri kuwa anamaanisha jina lake ni "KOMBO" Jaji hoi
 
Son: Mom, why is that my cousin's name is Rose?

Mom: Your aunt loves flowers.

Son: You mom? What do you love?

Mom: Dicky, stop asking.
 
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