Eti hii ni kwa nini?

Shukuru

Shukuru

JF-Expert Member
Sep 3, 2007
750
0
Aisee Kaka Lazydogy!!, ukweli ni kuwa aliniambia yeye mwenyewe kuwa alikuwa ameanza uhusiano na jamaa mmoja, ila ndio hivyo tena kilichofuata hapo ni kunilalamikia kuwa huyo jamaa ni mkorofi na si mtu muelewa, na anajuta kukumkubali ila ni kwa sababu alikuwa mpweke; sasa sijui ni lugha au ni vipi,
ila Kaka sikufichi ni kweli kuwa kuwa kuna mabinti kadhaa (3girls) nilikuwa najaribu kuwafuatilia ila kitu pekee ambacho sikielwi ni kuwa nimkuwa mwepesi sana wa kuamini kuwa sitaweza kumpata hata mmoja wao, na nabaki kuwa na namba za simu za watu kisha woote nawaona kama either sitafanikiwa au naona kama nakuwa kikwazo kwenye maisha yao na hatimaye naachana nao, na balaa ndio hilo muda woote mawazo kwa my ex.

Yaani ndio nimemaliza chuo mwaka jana, na nimeanza kiajira miezi sita sasa najiona niko bize na sipati muda hata wa kuonana na hawa mabinti, na ikitokea bahati nimeonana na japo mmoja kabla hata sijamsalimia nahisi sitawezana naye na nikifanikiwa kumsalimia naona kama ana weakness fulani hivi, hivi, hivi nina nini?

Au njiingize kibubusa bubusa tu?
 
K

kikafu

Member
Feb 12, 2008
14
0
Nilikuwa na mpenzi wangu kipingi cha nyuma, na tulifikia kuamua kufunga ndoa na nilikuwa katika mipango ya kupeleka posa ila tuliachana kwa sababu fulani fulani, nilijaribu kuurudisha uhusianai karibu mara tatu, ila naona kama siwezi kuwa na huyu mtu tena ila tatizo ni kuwa kwa nini kila ninapopata rafiki mwingine tukiwa pamoja japo kwa mazungumzo tu huwa najiwa na mawazo sana juu ya huyu wa mwanzo na najikuta na-conclude kuwa huyu mtu "wa sasa" hanifai, na hii ni kama mara tatu inanitokea yaaani kwa watu watatu tofauti tofauti imenitokea; sasa ni kwa nini hii memory inatokea na mara nyingi huanza na jina lake kisha husema irreplaceable niambieni ninyi wata'alam wa huu ukumbi au mi bwege? then nifanyeje?
Sema ndg yangu shukuru,nachukua fursa hii kukupa pole kwa mtihani uliokukumba kwa kweli ni jambo zito kwa maana ya kua,kupenda au kupendwa ni involuntary action ambayo huwez ielezea maana huwa inakuja tu from no where,any way ni daras refu kidogo,ngoja niingie ktk ushaur wangu,hizi hisia zipo' cha msingi ni kuamin kuwa yule ni msichana wa kawaida tu, na kuna wengi wazur kuliko yy na nakuamin haikuwa bahat yako,na jaribu kumuona utakaempata ya kua anamzid yule wa mwanzo, naamin baada ya muda hisia hizo zitaondoka,NOTE''wakat wa kuchagua wenzetu tuwe makin katika hili maana moyo ukivunjika huwa hauna spare parts'' huo ndo ushaur wangu
 
Shukuru

Shukuru

JF-Expert Member
Sep 3, 2007
750
0
Sema ndg yangu shukuru,nachukua fursa hii kukupa pole kwa mtihani uliokukumba kwa kweli ni jambo zito kwa maana ya kua,kupenda au kupendwa ni involuntary action ambayo huwez ielezea maana huwa inakuja tu from no where,any way ni daras refu kidogo,ngoja niingie ktk ushaur wangu,hizi hisia zipo' cha msingi ni kuamin kuwa yule ni msichana wa kawaida tu, na kuna wengi wazur kuliko yy na nakuamin haikuwa bahat yako,na jaribu kumuona utakaempata ya kua anamzid yule wa mwanzo, naamin baada ya muda hisia hizo zitaondoka,NOTE''wakat wa kuchagua wenzetu tuwe makin katika hili maana moyo ukivunjika huwa hauna spare parts'' huo ndo ushaur wangu
Thanks sana kaka kwa ushauri wako though naona kama haiwezekani lakini inanibidi kuamini ya kuwa yule ni msichana kama wengine.

Regards to all JF members.....

And please can you help me this one; is it possible and fair kumfuata mtu ambaye unaweza kuta labda ana mtu wake kisha kuamini kuwa utam-win, yaani unaweka maazimio kuwa whatever the case hata kama anaye mtu mimi sijui....... is it fair na je huyo mtu anaweza kuwa alikuwa wrong to her boy frend if she accept you au ni-coclude kuwa itakuwa ni kutupiana mpira unless mpaka nimpate mtu ambaye hana rafiki pasee? halafu naona kama muda unaenda mbio...... am 26 now!!!!

Naamini furaha ya maisha yangu huenda nilliona vibaya!!
 
LazyDog

LazyDog

JF-Expert Member
Apr 10, 2008
2,478
1,195
Maendeleo vipi kuhusu post ya Haika, kuna chochote umejifunza?
And please can you help me this one; is it possible and fair kumfuata mtu ambaye unaweza kuta labda ana mtu wake kisha kuamini kuwa utam-win, yaani unaweka maazimio kuwa whatever the case hata kama anaye mtu mimi sijui....... is it fair na je huyo mtu anaweza kuwa alikuwa wrong to her boy frend if she accept you au ni-coclude kuwa itakuwa ni kutupiana mpira unless mpaka nimpate mtu ambaye hana rafiki pasee? halafu naona kama muda unaenda mbio...... am 26 now!!!!

Naamini furaha ya maisha yangu huenda nilliona vibaya!!
Sioni tabu ukim-approach ili mradi asiwe demu wa mtu kama vile rafiki yako, au mke wa mtu. Si vizuri kumfuata mchumba wa mtu japo kuna mazingira ambapo hukatazwi.

Kuhusu fairness, sasa wewe mwenyewe ufanye tathmini kuangalia mazingira na sababu ya huyo binti kumwacha mpenzi wake kuja kwako.
Kama ameweza kumwacha mpenziwe kirahisi, baadae hatashindwa kukuacha wewe kirahisi sio?


1. Ni hivim kaka, sababu kuu hapo ni kama nilivyoeleza hapo juu ila pia kuna issue moja ambayo inanibidi niiweke wazi, kwa kifupi mama yangui naona kama hakufurahishwa na proposal ya kufunga ndoa na huyu binti, na kitu hicho huyu dada alikiona mwenyewe na kilimsononesha sana , sasa sijui ni sababu ya yeye kutokuwa serious tena au vipi!
Jaribu kuongea na mamako akueleze kinaga-ubaga kutopendezwa kwake na huyo binti. Naamini anazo sababu za msingi.


.
 
Shukuru

Shukuru

JF-Expert Member
Sep 3, 2007
750
0
Maendeleo vipi kuhusu post ya Haika, kuna chochote umejifunza?

Sioni tabu ukim-approach ili mradi asiwe demu wa mtu kama vile rafiki yako, au mke wa mtu. Si vizuri kumfuata mchumba wa mtu japo kuna mazingira ambapo hukatazwi.

Kuhusu fairness, sasa wewe mwenyewe ufanye tathmini kuangalia mazingira na sababu ya huyo binti kumwacha mpenzi wake kuja kwako.
Kama ameweza kumwacha mpenziwe kirahisi, baadae hatashindwa kukuacha wewe kirahisi sio?



Jaribu kuongea na mamako akueleze kinaga-ubaga kutopendezwa kwake na huyo binti. Naamini anazo sababu za msingi.


.
Thank sana brother, u r so mean 2 me.

Believe me, u give me some way to life......, pia nakutoa wasi wasi kuwa siwezi kumfuata mtu ambaye najua ana rafiki au mchumba au mume, this is not fair in any case!! let look for someone real new to my life. may be it will work

Lazydog "keep up men"
 
LazyDog

LazyDog

JF-Expert Member
Apr 10, 2008
2,478
1,195
Thank sana brother, u r so mean 2 me.

Believe me, u give me some way to life......, pia nakutoa wasi wasi kuwa siwezi kumfuata mtu ambaye najua ana rafiki au mchumba au mume, this is not fair in any case!! let look for someone real new to my life. may be it will work

Lazydog "keep up men"
Niongezee kwamba kumfata demu eti kwa sababu tu ana mtu sio mswano.
Wapo watu wenye tabia hiyo, (wake kwa waume) kwa kisingizio kwamba the good ones are all taken.


"You are so mean" haina maana sawa na "You mean alot to me"; usije ukakosea matumizi yake.



.
 
Shukuru

Shukuru

JF-Expert Member
Sep 3, 2007
750
0
I thank all JF mambers for all these useful post towards my thread!

Thank you all.
 
B

BeNoir

Member
May 6, 2008
97
0
Pole sana Shukuru kwa yaliyokusibu na pia ni vyema ukashukuru kwa yaliyojitokeza.

Ushauri wa siku za usoni.
1. Usipeleke mahusiano ya mapenzi kwenye daraja lingine kama hali hiyo haijafikia. Maana yake ni kwamba anza kama casual friendship kwanza. From there utaona inavyodevelop na ni nini unaweza kukizingatia au huenda ndicho unachopenda/hitaji katika mahusiano na huyo binti anacho. inaweza akawa anamiss vitu vingi kweli from the outer appearence lakini unavyozidi kumuelewa au mnavyozidi kuelewana ndio unafahamu undani wake. Kwani ikija kwenye issue ya kuoa, kuna saa zingine sura na maumbile si lolote au chochote kama hayo yatakuwa chanzo cha wewe kukosa amani.

2. Wasichana wanaweza kuwa tricky subject saa zingine kwani wepesi kupata na kufuata ushauri na hasa ushauri potofu. Sisemi hii ndio hulka yao ila tu ni obserbvation yangu. So based on that, nenda taratibu, jua ni nani rafiki zake. Nini mtazamo wa familia yake. Anatoka mazingira gani na nini matarajio yake katika maisha iwe kwake yeye binafsi au akiwa na mwezi. Hayo hutoyajua ukianza na uchumba moja kwa moja.

3. Zamani ilikuwa rahisi kuanza na uchumba moja kwa moja kwani wazazi, ndugu, jamaa na jamii kwa ujumla ilishiriki katika kukusaidia kufikia uamuzi huo muhimu. Siku hizi ni tofauti. Kuna mengi tunayozingatia siku hizi hayakuwepo zamani. Hivyo wimbo utaimba mwenyewe na ngoma utacheza mwenyewe.

4. Yaliyokupata leo ni 1/100,000,000 ya mitahani ya mapenzi au ndoa utayokutana nayo, hivyo ni vizuri ukakaa mkao wa kujifunza kuhimili vishindo, kujifunza busara ya kutatua matatizo, uvumilivu, ikibidi kujisahau (kutokuwaselfish) na mengineyo.

5. Ni safari ndefu, lakini ukifanikiwa its worth your effort.

GOOD LUCK.
 
Shukuru

Shukuru

JF-Expert Member
Sep 3, 2007
750
0
Pole sana Shukuru kwa yaliyokusibu na pia ni vyema ukashukuru kwa yaliyojitokeza.

Ushauri wa siku za usoni.
1. Usipeleke mahusiano ya mapenzi kwenye daraja lingine kama hali hiyo haijafikia. Maana yake ni kwamba anza kama casual friendship kwanza. From there utaona inavyodevelop na ni nini unaweza kukizingatia au huenda ndicho unachopenda/hitaji katika mahusiano na huyo binti anacho. inaweza akawa anamiss vitu vingi kweli from the outer appearence lakini unavyozidi kumuelewa au mnavyozidi kuelewana ndio unafahamu undani wake. Kwani ikija kwenye issue ya kuoa, kuna saa zingine sura na maumbile si lolote au chochote kama hayo yatakuwa chanzo cha wewe kukosa amani.

2. Wasichana wanaweza kuwa tricky subject saa zingine kwani wepesi kupata na kufuata ushauri na hasa ushauri potofu. Sisemi hii ndio hulka yao ila tu ni obserbvation yangu. So based on that, nenda taratibu, jua ni nani rafiki zake. Nini mtazamo wa familia yake. Anatoka mazingira gani na nini matarajio yake katika maisha iwe kwake yeye binafsi au akiwa na mwezi. Hayo hutoyajua ukianza na uchumba moja kwa moja.

3. Zamani ilikuwa rahisi kuanza na uchumba moja kwa moja kwani wazazi, ndugu, jamaa na jamii kwa ujumla ilishiriki katika kukusaidia kufikia uamuzi huo muhimu. Siku hizi ni tofauti. Kuna mengi tunayozingatia siku hizi hayakuwepo zamani. Hivyo wimbo utaimba mwenyewe na ngoma utacheza mwenyewe.

4. Yaliyokupata leo ni 1/100,000,000 ya mitahani ya mapenzi au ndoa utayokutana nayo, hivyo ni vizuri ukakaa mkao wa kujifunza kuhimili vishindo, kujifunza busara ya kutatua matatizo, uvumilivu, ikibidi kujisahau (kutokuwaselfish) na mengineyo.

5. Ni safari ndefu, lakini ukifanikiwa its worth your effort.

GOOD LUCK.
Nashukuru sana kwa ushauri wako.

Naimani na ninamuomba Allah anijaalie kufanikiwa katika hili.
 
LazyDog

LazyDog

JF-Expert Member
Apr 10, 2008
2,478
1,195
Bwana Shukuru, how is your relationship going?

Huu ujumbe ni kwa wadogo zangu wote.



Don't let someone become a priority in your life,
when you are just an option in their life...

Relationships work best when they are balanced.



...mwisho wa kunukuu! :)


.
 
NaimaOmari

NaimaOmari

JF-Expert Member
Sep 25, 2007
806
195
je umri unaweza kuwa tatizo? kwa sasa ana miaka 18.
Shukuru ofcourse this is straight forward ... the girl is still young and cant make indipendent decisions .... ulivyotaka kumuoa i guess she was 17 ... eeh bwana wewe !!! what do you expect of her ... she is still in the "stupid stage" in dream land fantacising her world ..... and still in school i guess ... give her some more years i beg you .... i believe she will be seeing the world in a different perspective , a lot better and a lot clearer ... unamuonea kusema kweli

Kama unampenda please give her more years
 
Kana-Ka-Nsungu

Kana-Ka-Nsungu

JF-Expert Member
Oct 4, 2007
2,259
1,195
Limbwata!!! the only place you can get help on this is Bwagamoyo!
 
H

Haika

JF-Expert Member
Mar 3, 2008
2,340
1,225
This boy is still a 'boy'
please let your mind grow. Do not rush into marriage,
remember
you will have a long time to regret your decission.
just learn what marriage is, apart from looking good together.
then you will know which one to go to.
 
LazyDog

LazyDog

JF-Expert Member
Apr 10, 2008
2,478
1,195
This boy is still a 'boy'

I'm not following.
He is 26 and she is 18.


Speaking of age, hapa Shukuru utakua umekwenda kinyume na ile 'rule' wanayosema "Half your age PLUS seven". Would be nice if she was not less than 20 years old.
Kama sijakosea, China ukioa binti mwenye umri pungufu ya 20 ni kinyume cha sheria.



.
 
NaimaOmari

NaimaOmari

JF-Expert Member
Sep 25, 2007
806
195
Limbwata!!! the only place you can get help on this is Bwagamoyo!

we we acha .... utambebesha mzigo mtoto wa watu maana mwenzetu kapagawa si kidogo, yuko radhi akaachishe shule, fikiria akiwa mwanao je ... sincerely speaking this guy ni mharibifu .. jamani eeh tumpige vita ...

This innocent girl is about to become someones prisoner
 
LazyDog

LazyDog

JF-Expert Member
Apr 10, 2008
2,478
1,195
we we acha .... utambebesha mzigo mtoto wa watu maana mwenzetu kapagawa si kidogo, yuko radhi akaachishe shule, fikiria akiwa mwanao je ... sincerely speaking this guy ni mharibifu .. jamani eeh tumpige vita ...

This innocent girl is about to become someones prisoner

You think so?


.
 
Masanja

Masanja

JF-Expert Member
Aug 1, 2007
4,130
2,000
Tatizo wanawake wengi wamekuwa influenced na utandawazi, as a result wanafikisha miaka thelathini au forty hawajaolewa wala nini...ofcourse wengi wanaangalia career. Sasa wanataka kila mtu awe kama wao... Jamani whats wrong with 18? unafikri waliosema kuwa huo ndo umri wa kuwa mtu mzima hawakufikiria? tafadhali sana acheni watu waishi maisha yao..wewe kama uliona kisomo ndo muafaka..please thats your life..kama jamaa ni GRADUATE na 26..unataka afanye nini zaidi ya kuwa na ampendaye? Hapo uhakika wa maisha upo (hata kama siyo ile standard tunayoifikiria wengi humu) Infact bwana Shukuru hajagusia anything kuhusu elimu kama kikwazo cha mahusiano yake..ni assumptions za "elitism" kwa sababu msichana ni 18! mama zetu walizaa wengine wakiwa 17! na sasa they are just happy mothers somehwere.....Career women wa siku hizi ukiwasikiliza sana "wanalostisha". Do your thing bwana Shukuru, dada mkifika bei na mmependana...go ahead! Kama unaona hamkubaliani, basi kama wenzangu walivyokushauri...Samaki ni wengi baharini..ni wewe tuu kuwa mvumilivu na nyavu makini!
 
H

Haika

JF-Expert Member
Mar 3, 2008
2,340
1,225
I'm not following.
He is 26 and she is 18.


Speaking of age, hapa Shukuru utakua umekwenda kinyume na ile 'rule' wanayosema "Half your age PLUS seven". Would be nice if she was not less than 20 years old.
Kama sijakosea, China ukioa binti mwenye umri pungufu ya 20 ni kinyume cha sheria.



.
what i meant is that he is not matured yet. Age is nothing but a numebr.
What counts is how developed or damaged your bodily assets are, some ppl do not mature untli they are in their thirties.
that is why we tell them to 'grow up'. Meaninng learn more faster as your age is leaving behind your life lessons experience.
most men are late in maturing, and most girls mature earlier.
 
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