Act like a Lady, Think like a Man

[Nyani Ngabu]

I wouldn't want to date a man who thinks like a lady, but I would certainly want him to understand why I act the way I do sometimes. and for that he will have to "think" like me... not all the times, but just enough to make me feel understood.

I don't think for a man, in order to understand you or why you act the way you act, will have to "think" like you.

Certainly one can understand someone without having to think like them. For example, my friend The Boss can understand the plight of homosexuals in Africa without having to "think" like them.

So I think it's very doable to be able to understand someone without having to "think" like them.

 

[Gaijin]

according to the book that's how a lady "catches" a man.

Then that book must be lying

 

[Mwali]

I don't think for a man, in order to understand you or why you act the way you act, will have to "think" like you.

Certainly one can understand someone without having to think like them. For example, my friend The Boss can understand the plight of homosexuals in Africa without having to "think" like them.

So I think it's very doable to be able to understand someone without having to "think" like them.

he he he he he , haya bwana.

 

[ndetichia]

“Ask any guy if sex is important in a relationship and the one who says no is lying. I just haven't met that guy yet. When you meet him, let's get him in to the Smithsonian - he's that special and rare.”
― Steve Harvey, Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man: What Men Really Think About Love, Relationships, Intimacy, and Commitment

true kabisa kwani usitegemee lolote na ukiona hata mwanaume tunapoponda mwanamke ni kwa sababu ya kunyimwa papucha tu..

 

[Nyani Ngabu]

NI kama Steve ana suggest
to think like a woman is think like a loser...hivi...

That's exactly my inference.

 

[Mwali]

Then that book must be lying

It is a very machist book (IMO) and the way he depicts women is not flatering. AT ALL.
but I enjoyed reading it, and having other women's opinion. some think it is the perfect manual.

 

[Kiranga]

Then that book must be lying

Steven Harvey is a comic charlatan. The self help and advice gold mine is full of similar charlatans ready to prey on low self esteemed victims looking for the nonexistent silver bullet.

If you read this book with this premise, you may find the reinforcement you were looking for echoed back to you religiously to give you that much needed feel good elation. Or even that self flaggellation that some find irresistible in a sado-masochistic way.

 

[Mwali]

That's exactly my inference.

Think like a man, demo #1 :

It's not 1945 anymore- you can't hang on to those old ways. This, "If he wants to marry me, he'll ask me" thing has got to stop. Because we're not going to ask you when you're ready-we're going to play with you until you give us your requirements and standards, and stand by them. I'm not telling you to get on bended knee.
I'm telling you to set a timeline for the ring and the date, and tell the man you want to be married to what it is. I recognize that this is hard. But let me tell you what's really hard: dating/living with/having a baby with a man who has no intention of marrying you and eight years up the road, he walks out and you're left to find a new man/pay all the bills after years of splitting them with someone else/raising those kids on your own. Oh, it can be done. But recognize just how hard that will be. All I'm suggesting is that you get the little uncomfortable moments out of the way early-let him know now what you want and expect.
Make clear to him what you're worth, and that you come at a cost; tell him how much you're worth like you're about to list yourself on eBay for a million dollars. Break down your value: say, "I respect you, I adore you, I'm affectionate,
I pay attention to you, I'm punctual, I'm kind, I'm loyal, I'll have your children and love them madly-and all of this is
available for a handsome sum. I need your time, loyalty, support, affection, attention, punctuality, kindness, gentleman ways-I need the doors opened, chairs pulled out, your respect, and above all else, your love. I also expect a diamond ring and a walk down the aisle."

a little too bold, ama? lol

 

[EMT]

Just think of it this way: when it comes to having sex with a woman, we men don't decide a thing. We don't determine when we're going to sleep with you-that decision is yours. The decision of when we get to kiss you is yours. When we let go of each other's hug and embrace? That decision is yours.

Wewe Mwali ulikuwa unabinishia sana hii kitu niliposema kuwa katika kutongozana, mwanamke ndiye wa kwanza anayeonyesha signs za njoo nitongoze.

A man would not approach a woman unless the woman shows him the signs of "come and get me" or some sort of interests in him.

As men tunakutana na wanawake wengi wazuri mitaani, tunawageukia na kuwaangalia maumbile na miondoko yao, but most of us will not approach them, unless they show us signs that they want to be approached.

Kama mwanamke ameonyesha signs za kuwa approached na mwanaume kutomwa-approach either hajui hizo signs, signs ziko too subtle au hazijui kabisa au anazijua lakini hayuko interested.

Hayawi hayawi, mwisho yamekuwa. Now Mwali is thinking like a man after disputing this for ages. lol

 

[everlenk]

Hiki kitabu ni kizur sana nilikisoma siku nyingi kidogo kina mafundisho meng sana, kuna kipengele fulan kilinifurahisha sna kmb ni ngumu kumridhisha mwanamke kwani hubadilika badilika sna anahitaj wanaume km wanne kwa wakat mmoja yaan wa tabia tofaut tofaut mfano mpole,mkal n.k

 

[Mwali]

Wewe Mwali ulikuwa unabinishia sana hii kitu niliposema kuwa katika kutongozana, mwanamke ndiye wa kwanza anayeonyesha signs za njoo nitongoze.

A man would not approach a woman unless the woman shows him the signs of "come and get me" or some sort of interests in him.

Kama mwanamke ameonyesha signs za kuwa approached na mwanaume kutomwa-approach either hajui hizo signs, signs ziko too subtle au hazijui kabisa.

Hayawi hayawi, mwisho yamekuwa. Now Mwali is thinking like a man after disputing this for ages

hahahahahaha,
kwanza I am not thinking like a man, nimefikisha tu kitabu ili watu wasome na wajadili
he mentions the same topics we talk about over and over, he even has the generalities and bias!
Pili sikumbuki kubisha kua mwanamke hatoi signals. kama niliwahi kubisha labda ilitokana na context

 

[Nyani Ngabu]

Think like a man, demo #1 :

a little too bold, ama? lol

So is that what thinking like a man is? I like Steve Harvey. I think he can be uber-funny. But he is no relationship expert.

On this book we say 'alichemka'. He didn't really think it through.

 

[Mwali]

So is that what thinking like a man is? I like Steve Harvey. I think he can be uber-funny. But he is no relationship expert.

On this book we say 'alichemka'. He didn't really think it through.

wewe unaona alichemka ila kuna ambao wanaona alipatia, na ameweka siri za wanaume hadharani!
When I started questioning the first chapter (anapo sema how women want to be loved, I don't agree)
kuna mtu alinambia: This is why you will never get married. you are not the type of woman a man needs. lol

 

[The Boss]

Hiki kitabu ni kizur sana nilikisoma siku nyingi kidogo kina mafundisho meng sana, kuna kipengele fulan kilinifurahisha sna kmb ni ngumu kumridhisha mwanamke kwani hubadilika badilika sna anahitaj wanaume km wanne kwa wakat mmoja yaan wa tabia tofaut tofaut mfano mpole,mkal n.k

mnhhhhhhhh wewe..
ni everlenk sio?

 

[EMT]

ha haa, hii sinema niliipenda sana....
kila mtu alijifanya mjanja kwa mwenzie......

Halafu wote wanakosa.

 

[Nyani Ngabu]

wewe unaona alichemka ila kuna ambao wanaona alipatia, na ameweka siri za wanaume hadharani!
When I started questioning the first chapter (anapo sema how women want to be loved, I don't agree)
kuna mtu alinambia: This is why you will never get married. you are not the type of woman a man needs. lol

Ni kweli. Wapo ambao wanakubaliana naye kwani mengi anayoyaongelea ni masuala ya mitazamo tu.

Na kwenye mitazamo mara nyingi huwa hakuna aliye sahihi na aliyekosea. Hivyo, kwa mtazamo wangu naona alichemka ila kuna wenye mtazamo wa alikuwa 'right on the money'.

Pia, kuna mengine mengi tu ambayo huwa nakubaliana naye. Mfano ni lile la urafiki kati ya mwanamke na mwanamme. Hilo nakubaliana naye kwa asilimia 100.

 

[Gaijin]

Steven Harvey is a comic charlatan. The self help and advice gold mine is full of similar charlatans ready to prey on low self esteemed victims looking for the nonexistent silver bullet.

Nimewaona watu wana matatizo zaidi baada ya kusoma self help books kuliko walipokuwa hawajasoma

Huanza tena kujilinganisha kwa kila kitu na yasemwayo kwenye kitabu na kuzidi kukosa self esteem

 

[Mwali]

Ni kweli. Wapo ambao wanakubaliana naye kwani mengi anayoyaongelea ni masuala ya mitazamo tu.

Na kwenye mitazamo mara nyingi huwa hakuna aliye sahihi na aliyekosea. Hivyo, kwa mtazamo wangu naona alichemka ila kuna wenye mtazamo wa alikuwa 'right on the money'.

Pia, kuna mengine mengi tu ambayo huwa nakubaliana naye. Mfano ni lile la urafiki kati ya mwanamke na mwanamme. Hilo nakubaliana naye kwa asilimia 100.

Mi nilishindwa kukubaliana nae kwa mengi sababu all his affirmations are over generalisations.
For hi ALL MEN think as he says, and ALL WOMEN think as he thinks they think.
hata kwa swala la urafiki kati ya mwanaume na mwanamke, it is possible that haiwezekani,
but there is always an exception. "context is everything", sometimes mazingira yanaruhusu
the way he writes in an authoritatie way ndio kilinikatisha tamaa, mwanzo kabisa ya kitabu!

 

[Mwali]

Nimewaona watu wana matatizo zaidi baada ya kusoma self help books kuliko walipokuwa hawajasoma

Huanza tena kujilinganisha kwa kila kitu na yasemwayo kwenye kitabu na kuzidi kukosa self esteem

kuna dada alisema this worked for her, she managed to "hoock" the man of her dreams.
Nilipo chunguza nilihisi it must be the pygmalion effect: she shared the book with her charming prince!

 

[EMT]

I just like a woman who acts like a woman and thinks like a woman or one who acts like a lady and thinks like a lady.

Una maana mwanamke ambaye:

1. Hayuko straight forward.
2. Anapenda surprises.
3. Yuko so obsessive.
4. Dependent.
5. Hakuambii kama anakuhitaji.
6. Her looks are paramount.
7. Siyo physical, too emotional
8. Hata news hafuatilii.
9. Ambaye bado anatumia Internet Explorer kwenye computer yake.
10. nk

How to Think Like a Man: 10 Steps - wikiHow