41% ya Wanawake hawazungumzi na Wamama wakwe zao


Boflo

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Jee unafahamu kuwa asilimia 41 ya wanawake hawazungumzi na mama wakwe zao. Mothers- in-law,

Asilima 41 hawana mahusiano mazuri na mama za wabwana zao. Hawazungumzi nao.
Utafiti unaonyesha kati ya wanawake 10, mmoja wao ana ugomvi na mama mkwe wake.- mother-in-law.
Utafiti uliofanywa na shirika la OnePoll la Uingereza unaonyesha kuwa ugomvi mkubwa kati ya mama mkwe na wake za vijana wao ni kutokana na usemi maarufu " sisi zama zetu tulikuwa tunafanya hivi au vile " .
Wanawake hawataki kuambiwa zama zile au kukosolewa mara kwa mara.
Utafiti huo pia unaonyesha kuwa nusu ya wanawake, washawalalamikia mabwana zao kuhusu kina mama zao, wazazi wa bwana wa kike.
Asilimia 15 ya wanawake wamewahi kukosana , ndoa kuvunjika kutokana na ugomvi kati ya mkwe na mama mkwe.
Ugomvi mkubwa zaidi kati ya mke na mama mkwe kuhusu malezi ya watoto, wajukuu.
Source: BBC
 
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Kuna ukweli kwa kiasi fulani. Tatizo kubwa ni kina mama wanaona wana wao hawalelewi ipasavyo na wake zao hivyo kupelekea wao kuingilia masuala ya nyumbani kwa mwana wao. Na pia huwa hawakubali kwamba wao si mama wenye nyumba na wapangaji wa majukumu ya nyumbani. Wivu!
 
snowhite

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snowhite

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japokuwa umegoma kufanya nilichokuomba ufanye ngoja tu nichangie!
si unajua mi na we ni kama uji na mgonjwa vile!
unajua hili saga kati la mama na mkamwana wake lina sababu nyingi sana
nyingi mojawapo ikiwemo hiyo ya "sisi enzi zetu tulikuwa hatufanyi hivi"
1.UTEGEMEZI
iwapo binti ameolewa na mwanaume ambaye yeye ndo kila kitu kwa familia yake mara nyingi akioa mama mkwe lazima zisiive na mkamwana since anahisi yale yote mtoto wake alikuwa anafanya kwake hayatafanyika na pengine hayafanyiki kweli since sasa mwanaume majukumu yameongezeka na he has his own family to take care of so obvious hii likkitoke kina mama wengi hukimbilia kulaumu wake za watoto wao kuwa ndo wanabana kumbe wakati mwingine maisah tu maskini mwanaume hawezi tena kujigawa na ana vipaumbele vingine

2.KUJIHAMI
haya matafiti haya,na mastory mitaani kuwa mama mkwe na binti yake hawaivi,siku hizi na kwenye kitchen parry binti anaambiwa kabisa kuwa hala hala kidole na macho kuna mkweo huko na mawifi ,matokeo yake binti anaingia kwenye ndoa tayri kashaandaa makucha!kwamba mimi ndo mimi na wlaahi watanikoma,maskini ya Mungu kumbe ile familia si ajabu si ya aina hiyo basi yemrai kashaambiwa na dada zake na story maofisini au saluni basi,huko ndani watajibebaaaje!mwanaume hapo hata akisema naenda kumsalimia mama au mama anakuja ye kanuna!
hapo huyo mama wa watu akupendaje zaidi na yeye kuanza kurudisha chuki!matokeo yake inaenea kwa wote

3.MWANAUME KUKOSA MSIMAMO WA KIUME
mwanaume akishaoa tayari anatakiwa kuwa na misimamo yake yeye kama baba wa familia na baba ndani ya nyumba ile,haijalishi alikuwa anapendwa na kuipenda familia yake mwanzo kiasi gani
ukioa unapaswa kumlinda mke wako,kutetea hadhi ya nyumba yako,mama yako alikuzaa na sasa umekua na umeoa!kwa hiyo kuendelea kuruhusu mama wa mwanaume kuwa na power kwenye nyumba yako kiasi cha mke kujihisi anapwaya lazima tu kinuke!NANI ANATAKA KUPANGIWA CHAKULA NA MAMA WA MUMEWE?NANI ANATAKA KUPANGIWA MUDA WA KUONGEA NA MUMEWE?
NANI ANATAKA KUAMBIA CHAKULA ANACHOPIKA MUMEWE HAKUZOEA KULA HIVO
NANI ANATAKA KUKOSOLEWA NAMNA ANAVYOHANDLE MUME WAKE
mbaya zaidi mwanaume unakaa kimya na kuona ni sawa tu!hukemei,sana sana unasa=upport ''MWAMBIE HUYO MAMA"
hapo lazima kuchafuke!huyo binti hawezi tena kuwa na amani humo ndani,maana hujihisi kaingiliwa kwenye himaya yake!

4.TABIA BINAFSI
wapo kinamama ni wana midomo ya asili tu!
hamtegemei mwanae,binti anakaa nae vizuri,mwanaume ana msimamo lakini basi tu mradi vurugu!
huyu anaweza kufunga safari kuja kwa kijana wake mradi tu aone mwanae anagharamia vipi mavazi ya mkewe,familia ya mwanamke inasaidiwa vipi,mwanamke anahudumiaje mume na watoto
hapa ndo sentesi kama mimi enzi zangu sikufanya hivi'
anasahau kuwa na yeye kwenye ndoa yake alikuwa na mapungufu,and afterall hiyo ni ndoa ya mwanae na huyo binti so namna mdada anaamua kuweka mambo ya ke ni vile yeye anataka!HER OWN WAYS!ana haki ya kutokuingiliwa ,aachwe akue na kujenga nyumba yake anavotaka,ikitokea namna anayotaka binti inaconcur na ya mama mkwe gud for her na iwapo inatokea kinyume mama mkwe akubali tu matokeo since na yeye alijenga yake kwa namna aliyotaka!

5.WANAWAKE KUJISAHAU
nenda mbele rudi nyuma wadada siku hizi kuna kujisahau sana!sana!mno!
sawa unafanya kazi,sawa una biashara,sawa mjini mafoleni mengi,sawa una deadlinea za kumeet,sawa una presentation next week,sawa una pesa kumzidi mumeo au sawa nae!
MAJUKUMU YA MKE KWENYE FAMILIA YANABAKI KUWA PALE!
hayo niliyotaja hapo juu najua ni changamoto kwelikweli na umama au umke bora!
lakini tujitahidi kwa namn ayoyote ile gap isionekane kiasi kikubwa hivi mpaka mama wakwe wapate pa kusemea!
anaona mwanae hapikiwi
mwanae hafuliwi
mwanae akirudi h.gal ndo anafungua mlango
mwanae haandaliwi chakula
wajukuu hawaogeshwi
wajukuu hawakaguliwi daftari
familia haisali pamoja
kutwa mama kiguu na njia!hatuna jumapili siye wala jumamosi!jumatatu -ijumaa tunatoka home saa kumi na moja,kurudi sa nne tuko bwaksi au tumechoka!
jumamosi asubuhi tunaamka saa nne tunaoga hao funguo zi wapi saluni ,tunarudi saa tisa dada ninyoshee naenda harusini!ukiruddi saa nane usiku
jumapili unaamka saaa sita mchana ,huanda watoto kwenda kanisani,huandai chai ya familia yako ikifika saa kumi na mija dada ninyoshee kile kitenge changu cha sare huyo kwenye kitchen party!
HUYO BIBI WA WATU ASISEMEEE?
lazima aseme mwali wangu!manake unamtesea mwanae!na wajukuuu!we uko na yako tuu!

LOL!kwa leo yanatosha!
my own experience
nilipoolewa tu nilianza kuishi na mama mkwe wangu,huu ni mwaka wa 9!
 
Tripo9

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Boflo bhana, eti source bbc. Hemb uwe unaweka hata ka-link tuone izo habari kwa upana na unene wake.
 
gfsonwin

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gfsonwin

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shostito snowhite umenena vyema sana ila naomba nikuambie kitu, mwanzoni i used to think as you have said, lakin baada ya kuhudhuria semina nyingi za mambo ya ndoa niligundua jambo moja na hapa naomba niongelee experience niliyoipata kwa Gloria MHando mtaalamu wa mambo ya ndoa.

ishu kubwa zaid kwenye ugomvi kati ya mama na mkamwana ni WIVU TU.

SASA wivu huu unakujaje?............... mama anaona KLEIN ni mwanangu mpendwa, nimemlea uzuri sitaki apate shida na daima atabaki kuwa mwanangu, kuna muda mimi kama mama nataka kupendwa na klein mie, kuheshimiwa, kusikilizwa, kuthaminiwa na hata kusaidiwa. na hapa kleni lazima anitendee haya. when it comes to my me time with my beloved son i should get it. this is nature we can not deny it.

on the other hand mke wa KLEIN anaona mie ni mke, namlea huyu bwana kwa sasa, nahitaj kupendwa, kuthaminiwa, kusikilizwa kusaidiwa na hata kubembelezwa. na hapa ni lazima klein anitendee haya. when it comes her 'me' time with her beloved hubby, she should get it na ndio nature ilivyo.

kwakujua hayo ndipo conflict of interest inapoanza, kwan mama anaona mwanangu sikua namfanyia haya, nilimdekeza, sikumsimanga blah blah blah,........... mke nae anaona huyu ni hubby anapaswa anisikilize mm anielewe anipe kipaumbele kwani anamlala nani blah blah blah...........

mwanaume mwenye busara atasema na mkewe kwamba she is our mom, huwez kuvuka mpaka na kusema haya juu yake so keep quite and listen to me na anasisitiza kwa mkewe kwamba wewe ni wa muhimu sana kwangu kuliko mtu yeyote yule katika maisha haya niliyo nayo. na akirudi kwa mama anamwambia mama yule ni mke wangu nampenda as wife you are my mother i love and respect you, but you can not do this to my wife. she is very innocent to me and i real need her at this time when she said so she was just defending herself. ujue kwamba mama nakupenda sana na kukuheshimu so just give me a room to do what is right for me.

akisimamia msimamo wake huu inaweza kuwafanya wawili hawa wakaheshimiana zaid manake kila mtu atajua sasa nafasi yake kwa muhusika manake ukweli watoto wa kiume ni wapendwa kwa mama zao kama ilivyo wa kike ni wapendwa kwa baba zao.

ukichunguza kwa makini hata kwa wababa wana wivu sana na watoto wao wa kike kiasi kwamba hata akioalewa mtoto bado baba anaona mume hana haki ya kumnyanyasa mwanangu na nimewah kushuhudia hata wababa wengine wanakataza mabinti zao wasirudi kwa waume zao ambao waliwanyanyasa. ni kwamba tu wanaume ahawana bifu za maneno kama wamama.

mjadala uendelee.
 
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Kongosho

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mke kushindwa kuongea na mama mkwe ni tatizo la mme, period!

Huwezi kuja kwetu hata kama ni mme ukashindwa kuongea na mama yangu vizuri halafu nisingizie mtu mwingine, tatizo nitakuwa mie mwenyewe, period!
 
snowhite

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snowhite

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shostito snowhite umenena vyema sana ila naomba nikuambie kitu, mwanzoni i used to think as you have said, lakin baada ya kuhudhuria semina nyingi za mambo ya ndoa niligundua jambo moja na hapa naomba niongelee experience niliyoipata kwa Gloria MHando mtaalamu wa mambo ya ndoa.

ishu kubwa zaid kwenye ugomvi kati ya mama na mkamwana ni WIVU TU.

SASA wivu huu unakujaje?............... mama anaona KLEIN ni mwanangu mpendwa, nimemlea uzuri sitaki apate shida na daima atabaki kuwa mwanangu, kuna muda mimi kama mama nataka kupendwa na klein mie, kuheshimiwa, kusikilizwa, kuthaminiwa na hata kusaidiwa. na hapa kleni lazima anitendee haya. when it comes to my me time with my beloved son i should get it. this is nature we can not deny it.

on the other hand mke wa KLEIN anaona mie ni mke, namlea huyu bwana kwa sasa, nahitaj kupendwa, kuthaminiwa, kusikilizwa kusaidiwa na hata kubembelezwa. na hapa ni lazima klein anitendee haya. when it comes her 'me' time with her beloved hubby, she should get it na ndio nature ilivyo.

kwakujua hayo ndipo conflict of interest inapoanza, kwan mama anaona mwanangu sikua namfanyia haya, nilimdekeza, sikumsimanga blah blah blah,........... mke nae anaona huyu ni hubby anapaswa anisikilize mm anielewe anipe kipaumbele kwani anamlala nani blah blah blah...........

mwanaume mwenye busara atasema na mkewe kwamba she is our mom, huwez kuvuka mpaka na kusema haya juu yake so keep quite and listen to me na anasisitiza kwa mkewe kwamba wewe ni wa muhimu sana kwangu kuliko mtu yeyote yule katika maisha haya niliyo nayo. na akirudi kwa mama anamwambia mama yule ni mke wangu nampenda as wife you are my mother i love and respect you, but you can not do this to my wife. she is very innocent to me and i real need her at this time when she said so she was just defending herself. ujue kwamba mama nakupenda sana na kukuheshimu so just give me a room to do what is right for me.

akisimamia msimamo wake huu inaweza kuwafanya wawili hawa wakaheshimiana zaid manake kila mtu atajua sasa nafasi yake kwa muhusika manake ukweli watoto wa kiume ni wapendwa kwa mama zao kama ilivyo wa kike ni wapendwa kwa baba zao.

ukichunguza kwa makini hata kwa wababa wana wivu sana na watoto wao wa kike kiasi kwamba hata akioalewa mtoto bado baba anaona mume hana haki ya kumnyanyasa mwanangu na nimewah kushuhudia hata wababa wengine wanakataza mabinti zao wasirudi kwa waume zao ambao waliwanyanyasa. ni kwamba tu wanaume ahawana bifu za maneno kama wamama.

mjadala uendelee.
yaaah hii ya wivu pia niliisahau!
mwali i hope klein hautomwonea wivu loh!
au mi vile sina mtoto wa kiume ndo mana nahisi siifeel hii!ahahahhahahhahahhahha ila kina mama wana wivu na watoto wao wa kiume jamani!lol,bi mkubwa kuna wakati huwa anatamani japo tu waongozane hata kanisani!
 
King'asti

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Shosti wangu aliambiwa na mama mkwe 'mwanangu akiharibika ni wewe', akashangaa nikimuambia i agree with you. How many times unamuita mateka chumbani na kumsema kuhusu a certain conduct? Inakuwaje unashindwa kumlinda mwenza wako na mzazi wako wasishindwe kukaa pamoja?

Well, binafsi siwezi kushindwa kuongea na mama mkwe, manake hata anikere vipi mie ntamuheshimu tu manake ana umri wa kunizaa. Hata akiamua nikimsalimia haitikii, nitaendelea kumuamkia hadi achoke manake shkamoo zenyewe sinunui!

mke kushindwa kuongea na mama mkwe ni tatizo la mme, period!

Huwezi kuja kwetu hata kama ni mme ukashindwa kuongea na mama yangu vizuri halafu nisingizie mtu mwingine, tatizo nitakuwa mie mwenyewe, period!
 
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Maada nzuri sana ni kweli haya nimeshuhudia kwenye ndoa nyingi issue inabaki kuwa ni conflict of interest kama ilivyoolezwa hapo juu. Sisi wanawake kawaida tunapenda kucontrol wanaume, maana kwanini babamkwe isiwe hivyo, ni mambo ya kijinsia ya kike.

Nionavyo mimi ikiwa kwenye family yupo mtoto wa kike nahisi ni bora kumlea mamake kama mzazi wa kiume hayupo hai, akienda kuishi na mtoto wa kiume ambaye ameoa balaa itaanza. Kama mama mkwe anaishi peke yake mtoto wake wa kiume lazima awe makini, kutosikiliza upande mmoja kuna wengine hawataki kabisa kuwa involved kwenye issue za mke na mamake maana ni pasua kichwa.
 
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tatizo wakina mama wanapenda sana kuja mjini, mama anamaliza hadi mwaka mjini kutakuwa na usalama kweli hapo?
 
gfsonwin

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gfsonwin

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mke kushindwa kuongea na mama mkwe ni tatizo la mme, period!

Huwezi kuja kwetu hata kama ni mme ukashindwa kuongea na mama yangu vizuri halafu nisingizie mtu mwingine, tatizo nitakuwa mie mwenyewe, period!
ni kweli ni tatizo la mume kushindwa kutumia nafasi yake iasavyo.
but to me siwez huyu ni mama tu kwangu anahitaji heshima basii na hata kama kuna ishu ni rahisi kuignore ili heshima iwepo. ujanja wa mtu yeyote ule ni kwenye heshima umpayo baaasi
 
Kongosho

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ha ha ha, hata mateka analijua hilo
hawezi shindwa ishi na mzazi wangu, na mie siwezi shindwa ishi na mzazi wa mateka.

Ngoja nikupe mfano, hapa kwangu mie ni mama mkwe. Mara ya kwanza nikaona bintia ananipimia hivi, kama anaona tunalingana, nikataka nimchane live, lakini nikajiambia, mie ni mama mkwe acha nione mmewe atafanyaje.

Nikatulia kama miezi kama miwili, nadhani mmewe aliona vitabia vya mkewe. Yaani alibadilika ghafla na hadi leo akha, sina tabu na mkamwana wangu.

Kugombana na wake ama wakamwana ni kujitakia.

Shosti wangu aliambiwa na mama mkwe 'mwanangu akiharibika ni wewe', akashangaa nikimuambia i agree with you. How many times unamuita mateka chumbani na kumsema kuhusu a certain conduct? Inakuwaje unashindwa kumlinda mwenza wako na mzazi wako wasishindwe kukaa pamoja?

Well, binafsi siwezi kushindwa kuongea na mama mkwe, manake hata anikere vipi mie ntamuheshimu tu manake ana umri wa kunizaa. Hata akiamua nikimsalimia haitikii, nitaendelea kumuamkia hadi achoke manake shkamoo zenyewe sinunui!
 
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Tatizo huwa linakua kubwa zaidi haswa;
1. Mama mkwe anapokuwa ni mjane.
2. Alikua anatunzwa vizuri na mwanae kabla hajaoa.
3. Mama mkwe umri umeshasonga kiasi cha kufikia umri tegemezi.
4. Mtoto wa kiume kabla ya kuoa alikua na shida(kiafya, kisaikolojia n.k), ambayo ni mama yake pekee ndio alikua ana uwezo wa kuitatua.
5. Mtoto wa kiume anapokuwa ndio wa pekee.
6. Tofauti za mitizamo ya kidini,kikoo na kikabila.
7. Kiburi cha wanawake pindi wanapoolewa, ile hali ya kuitwa Mrs Brown jina ambalo hata mkwewe hutumia(huwa wanyenyekevu sana kabla ya ndoa na ndio maana mama mkwe hakua mkorofi kabla).
 
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sitaki kusema hapa ila mama wakwe wana matatizo sana huisi kuwa tunafaidi sana kulala na watoto wao.kumbe mwanae ni mzigo. ndio sababu namalizia appartment kwa ajili yao akaae mbali na mimi tusalimianae asubuhi na kuhakikisha amekula sitaki mazowea
 
Nivea

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Nivea

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Tatizo huwa linakua kubwa zaidi haswa;
1. Mama mkwe anapokuwa ni mjane.
2. Alikua anatunzwa vizuri na mwanae kabla hajaoa.
3. Mama mkwe umri umeshasonga kiasi cha kufikia umri tegemezi.
4. Mtoto wa kiume kabla ya kuoa alikua na shida(kiafya, kisaikolojia n.k), ambayo ni mama yake pekee ndio alikua ana uwezo wa kuitatua.
5. Mtoto wa kiume anapokuwa ndio wa pekee.
6. Tofauti za mitizamo ya kidini,kikoo na kikabila.
7. Kiburi cha wanawake pindi wanapoolewa, ile hali ya kuitwa Mrs Brown jina ambalo hata mkwewe hutumia(huwa wanyenyekevu sana kabla ya ndoa na ndio maana mama mkwe hakua mkorofi kabla).
hapo umenena mkuu mamasboy kaa nao mbali kabisa wanakera sana hao umbwa.anaweza kukutukana mbele ya mama yake akidai eti wewe atapatana na wewe chumbani bitch
 
Watu8

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hapo umenena mkuu mamasboy kaa nao mbali kabisa wanakera sana hao umbwa.anaweza kukutukana mbele ya mama yake akidai eti wewe atapatana na wewe chumbani bitch
duh...ngoja nikupe pole nahisi wewe ni muhanga kama siyo jamaa yako wa karibu
 
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hapo umenena mkuu mamasboy kaa nao mbali kabisa wanakera sana hao umbwa.anaweza kukutukana mbele ya mama yake akidai eti wewe atapatana na wewe chumbani bitch
Khaaa nivea mdogo wangu, punguza jazba!!!!
 
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HorsePower

HorsePower

JF-Expert Member
Joined Aug 22, 2008
3,614 46 145
gfsonwin, Kongosho, watu8, MadameX, King'asti, snowhite, Black Queen na Boflo nimezipenda comments zenu kuhusiana na hii mada.
 
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