<br /><b><i><font color="black"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS">Before the marriage: </span></font></i></b><br />
<font color="black"><span style="font-family: Symbol"><b><i>· </i></b></span></font><b><i><font color="black"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS">He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait. </span></font></i></b><br />
<font color="black"><span style="font-family: Symbol"><b><i>· </i></b></span></font><b><i><font color="black"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS">She: Do you want me to leave? </span></font></i></b><br />
<font color="black"><span style="font-family: Symbol"><b><i>· </i></b></span></font><b><i><font color="black"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS">He: NO! Don't even think about it. </span></font></i></b><br />
<font color="black"><span style="font-family: Symbol"><b><i>· </i></b></span></font><b><i><font color="black"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS">She: Do you love me? </span></font></i></b><br />
<font color="black"><span style="font-family: Symbol"><b><i>· </i></b></span></font><b><i><font color="black"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS">He: Of course! </span></font></i></b><br />
<font color="black"><span style="font-family: Symbol"><b><i>· </i></b></span></font><b><i><font color="black"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS">She: Have you ever cheated on me? </span></font></i></b><br />
<font color="black"><span style="font-family: Symbol"><b><i>· </i></b></span></font><b><i><font color="black"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS">He: NO! Why you even asking? </span></font></i></b><br />
<font color="black"><span style="font-family: Symbol"><b><i>· </i></b></span></font><b><i><font color="black"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS">She: Will you kiss me? </span></font></i></b><br />
<font color="black"><span style="font-family: Symbol"><b><i>· </i></b></span></font><b><i><font color="black"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS">He: Yes! </span></font></i></b><br />
<font color="black"><span style="font-family: Symbol"><b><i>· </i></b></span></font><b><i><font color="black"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS">She: Will you hit me? </span></font></i></b><br />
<font color="black"><span style="font-family: Symbol"><b><i>· </i></b></span></font><b><i><font color="black"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS">He: No way! I'm not such kind of person! </span></font></i></b><br />
<font color="black"><span style="font-family: Symbol"><b><i>· </i></b></span></font><b><i><font color="black"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS">She: Can I trust you? </span></font></i></b><br />
<b><i><font color="black"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS">Now after the marriage you can read it from bottom to the top!<br />
<br />
<img src="https://www.jamiiforums.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=35066&stc=1" attachmentid="35066" alt="" id="vbattach_35066" class="previewthumb" /><br />
<br />
</span></font></i></b>
Eiyer ndoa ni zaidi ya sex mydia wanaosema hivyo nadhani huwa wanasema kwa hacra ya kunyimwa hiyo sex ambapo hatua hii hufikiwa baada ya mambo mmengi ya kindoa kuharibika. Ndoa ni kushare sehemu ya maisha yako yaliyobaki na mtu umpendaye, mtu anayekufanya ujisikie furaha pale uwapo na hacra; anayekufariji upatwapo na huzuni; anayekujali uwapo na uhitaji; anayekuliwaza uhitajipo liwazo; mtu ambaye yuko tayari/uko tayari kufanya mambo mengi naye ikiwemo kuchangia katika kutengeneza viumbe wa kuijaza dunia; uzao utakaobeba alama ya muunganiko wenu ninyi wawili. Mengineyo hutokea kwa bahati mbaya.
Sex unaezaipata hata nje ya ndoa mf. kama ni mwanaume anayehitaji sex tu ili aoe si anawezanunua kwa dada poaz? kama ni mwanamke anayetaka aolewe ili apate sex, si awezafungua tu biashara?
Kufuata mkumbo yesi kuna wanaooa/olewa kwa kuwa tu flani kaoa/lewa au marafiki zangu wote wameoa/olewa but mara nyingi za aina hii zinaweza zisifike popoteKwanza ningeshauri ubadili title na kuwa what is the purpose of a "successful" Marriage (Please be specific)... Ukisema tu marriage ziko za aina nyingi..nzuri, mbovu, feki, za malengo maalum, za kibiashara, za kilevi etc.
Kwa Successful Marriage... Sex inaweza pata 5% out of 100% kuna mengi mengine..kama..
NB: Kuna vitu vingi lakini vyote vinalenga kama unataka faida za successful Marriage...Kama unataka faida za "marriage" basi kila mtu atakupa anavyojua yeye na mjadala hautakwisha.
- Unapata copy ya maisha yako..ni nani utamwamini zaidi ya mwenza...
- Unapata mtu ambaye ataficha siri zako zote.. hata kama unakoroma kama gari moshi..mam akiwa nje anasema mambo ni silent kama Mark II
- Unapata partner wa wakati wa raha na shida..Kuna marafiki na ndugu watakukimbia ukifulia.
- Unapata mtu wa kuendeleza familia kama ukipotea.. Nani utamwamini kulea familia ukifa..
- Unapata mshauri wa karibu..nani anaweza kukwambia ukweli huku akiwa ni mdau wa kweli?..siyo siasa, hela au unafiki.
- Una-Jiheshimu na kuheshimiwa na Jamii.. Ndoa na familia ni ishara upstairs (kichwani) kumetulia..
- Protection - ya Majaribu.. Kumwingia mtu ambaye unajua ameoa au kuolewa (successfully) yataka moyo kwani Hatokupa nafasi hiyo..
Mkuu sijakusikia kutoa mawaidha yako kwa jamii hapa
...mmeandika yote. Mbarikiwe sana kwakweli....lol, eti kukoroma kama gari moshi,...unatunyanyapaa mkuu! hhee hhe!
<br />
<br />
Anakubaliana na alichosema M1!
<br />Mhh haya mkuu nakupata na nimesoma hapo <br />
Ila wewe msimamo wako kama mtoa mada ni upi au unasubiria ufanye conclussion
<br />Ili kuiona ndoa ni ya maana ondoa kwanza hizo bad feelings na uwe na mawazo kwamba ndoa ipo na ni nzuri then unawez akuingia humo. Jaribu kuondoa hicho kilichokuweka kwenye hizo bad feelings
<br />
<br />
Sumu haijaribiwi kwa kuilamba unless umehakikishiwa kuwa sio sumu!
<br /><i><b>so mmefikia conclusion gani tuingie kwenye ndoa ama tuendelee na ubachelah?</b></i>
Anayesema hivyo mwongo. Mbona sex zipo za bwerere tu siku hizi? Sababu zinaweza kuwa moja ama zaidikama ifuatavyo:-
(i) Kupata mwenza wa maisha (mtu wa karibu ambaye unaweza kushauriana naye mambo yenu ya maisha ya kila siku)
(ii) Kuanzisha familia pamoja ikiwa ni pamoja na kupata watoto. (caution: unaweza kuo na usibahatike kuwa na watoto ndio maana nimesema kuanzisha familia)
(iii) Kusaidiana kimaisha (Ila hii inaweza kuwa chanzo cha mgogoro kama mwanaume ataona akitarajia kusaidiwa na mke bila ridhaa ya mwanamama)
(iv) Kupata jiko (yaani mtu wa kurahisisha masuala ya jikoni, kufua, kuosha vyombo n.k. - hii ni kwa wanaume tu)
(v) Kupata ATM (yaani mtu wa kutoa pesa za kuendesha familia - hii ni kwa wamama tu. Kwa wanaume refer iii above)
(vi) Kukubalika na jamii inayotunzunguka yaani ukoo, kabila, majirani - (nakumbuka wakati naanza maisha ilikuwa ni rahisi zaidi kwa watu waliooa kupata chumba/nyumba ya kupanga kuliko kwa watu wasiooa kwani tulikuwa tukionekana wahuni na waharibifu). Kwenye kabila letu mtu ambaye hajaoa hawezi kupewa nafasi ya uongozi kwenye jamii kwani bado hajapata mafunzo ya msingi ya uongozi katika kiwango cha familia.
Naona niishie hapa kwa leo.
<br /><br /><br />
<br /><br />
Itakuwa bora kwako!