Who let the dogs out wooooo woooo wooooo!
Kiukweli Siza had me for a minute with his sweet taks and all. Dont give him the credits kwamba alinichota, nilijichota mwenyewe akili kuwaza kama Dr, for a minute and this always happen, the minute you let your guard down they hit you hard.
Nimemsindikiza kabisaaa, nalala naamka inaingia sms HELA ZIMERUDISHWA, tena 2 Tigo na Voda, akili ikaniambia cheki drooo, chekiii drooo. Kucheki droo nakuta kachukua hela zangu $2000 na laki moja ya bongo. Niliziweka kibundaaa. Kmanina kweli kweli. Haaaaaaaa! Anamuibia mwiziiii? Kwanza kanipiga free pumbu, pili kaniiba, haaaaa huyu kijana kachoka kuishi kweli kweli.
Nikasema labda he is playing some kind of a game maybe atanirudishia zote $$$$ na mobile money transfer alizorudisha. Nikataka kumpigia cut the foolery nipe hela hizo na kazi nazo. $$$ 2000 na laki moja za mnyaluuu, dereva alileta hesabu, na mwenyewe siku yoyote anazitaka. Simu haipokelewi. Sikuwa na wasi wasi sanaa najua utani.
Mda unavoenda it hit me i was robbed eyes open, haaaaaaaaaaaa! Hivi hajui kama mimi naitwa Leilaaa, kubwa la maadui. Hajipendiiii. Ananunua msibaaaaaa. Haaaaaaaaa. Free Pumbu siwezi kumsamehe na hizo hela za mnyaluuu sijui mkinga bora nimdai mimi, akimdai mnyalu mwenyeweee heheheeeeeee.
Nikampigia Vicky, shoga nimeibiwa, na huyo kaka alieniibia ni wajana pale. Vicky kastukaaaa! Haaaaa! Ulimpeleka kwako? What were you thinking Leila. Kaiba nini? Nikampa details. Akasema msamehe tu Mungu atakulipia. Nikasema siwezi kumsamehe naomba muulize Kaka wa Chips nampataje huyu mngese, nampatia wapi, if i do it will be messy. Bora uongee nae kidiplomasia. Vicky anadai ooh mi nimepigwa block. Nikamwambia nakupa mpaka jioni uje na jibu la kueleweka.
Mpaka jioni Vicky hajaleta jibu lolote. Nikavaa zangu tight na top, nikaenda kwa kaka chips. Kuniona kanunaaa, anasema toka tokaaaa haukaribishwi ofisini kwangu. Nikamwambia sikia we mangi falaaa, mwenzio kaniiibia $$$$$ sio madafu $$$ pesa ya mzungu hio za kutosha, nikifumba na kufumbua unielekeze sehemu nimkute na nimkute na pesa zangu zote ama sivo hapa patageuka Alshabab.
Mangi bado ana machunguuu, we malayaaa, tokaaa, tokaaa kabla sijakuua, jamani nitaua mtuuu, kiruuuuuu! Anapandisha kichaga. Wakaja watu dada ondokaaa, hii biashara ya mtu. Nikamwambia Mangi kwa mara ya mwisho yule kaka alienilipia kuku yuko wapi, nampataje, maduka yake yako wapi?Mangiiiii! Mangi anajitia kavurugwaa. Nikamwambia Mangi hunijui, ila leo utanijuaaa.
Nikatoka, hayaa, hayaa raiaaa tumefunga ofisi, umekula hujalipaa bahati yako, umeshiba ujashiba nikifunga macho na kufungua nisione mtu, ukijitia nunda yatayowakuteni shauri yenu. Wakanitunishia huyu dada anatutishia nini, ndo uchizi niii.
Nikapiga tege moja jiko lilikuwa na karai la mafuta, vikamwagika kule kule kwa wateja. Na kuwakaaaaa. Walitaftana mbonaaa. Ikavurumshaaa kabati la chipsi, likaanguka na kupasuka. Mangi ndo zimepandaa za kichaga kaja kunikaba, bahati yake nikavuta kisu kilikuwa mbele ule mbisu wa kukatia nyama, nikamuwekea kwenye pumbu "Utasema yule mjinga mwenzio alipo husemi?" Watu washaanza kujaa ila hawanisogelei komandooo kipensi. Mangi analia tu Mungu wanguuu, Yesuuu wanguuu, biashara yanguuu, nimewakosea nini nyie watu. Mtu akasema polisiiii wanakujaaaa. Nikajikataa fasta, na ule mbisu mkononi nasema kabisaa ambae hajapita jando anifate nimtahiri bure bure. Sheria ya ugomvi hata kama umeuanzisha usikutwe eneo la tukio.
Nikarudi home, akili bado inanivurugika, mangi hajatoa details zozote. Kesho Mangi hakufungua, wiki nzima hakufungua afu nikawa simuoni kabisaa. Nikamuita teja Mwinyi. Nikamwambia mwinyi nipelelezee Mangi kafunhua wapi ofisi kwa wale wafanyakazi wake. Mwinyi akanipigia, kafungua temeke. Mpaka alipo kanielekeza. Niakenda kumchungulia kweli yupo.
Sasa Mangi lazima angekiwa kajizatiti safari hii, asingekuwa kiboyaaa. Lazima angekuwa na mapanga yeye na wafanyakazi wake. Nisingeweza kuwavamia kizembe. Nikampigia mnyalu naliaaaaaaa. Akaniuliza uko wapi, nikamwambia Temeke. Nini tatizo?
Nikamwambia naazima bastola yako revolver,! Akagunaaaa! Bastolaa ya nini? Najiliza siwezi kukwambia ila naazima. Akagunaaa. Leila nakupenda sana ila bastola inaweza kunifunga maishaaa, mpaka nijue kiundaniii sanaa, kwanini ghafla tu unataka bastolaaa, pia wewe unaweza kufungwa maishaa, bastola sio kitu cha mchezo. Nielezee vizuri acha kulia.
Nikamchota nimeenda kula chipsi wamenipiga dole la matako! Mnyalu akauliza niniiiiii? Wamenipiga dole la kati kwenye makalio mbele za watu. Akauliza tena nini? Mbona kama sielewi. Nikamwambia hivo hivo ulivoelewa. Akasema nakuja hapo kwa jazbaaa.
Akaja nimefikicha macho mekundu, ananiambia niambie vizuri. Namwambia ndo hivooo. Akatetemekaaa kwa jazba. Dole hili hili au unatumia lugha tafsida wamekuibia hela ndo unamaanisha dole. Niakwambia dole physically! Akasema baaaas, baas usiendeleee kuniambiaaa, baaas nishakuelewaaa, usitamkeee tena.
Nikamwambia sasa unakaa tu hapa, banda lile twende ukafyatue kama 6 za fastaa washike adabu, au unaona sawa kitendo nilichofanyiwa? Angefanyiwa mkeo ungekuwa bado umekaa hapa? Au ushau watu wa 7 tayari. Nikaanza kulia tenaaa. Akasema Bastola haitoshiii. Akapiga simu alatewe SMG. Mmmmmmhhh! Safi sanaaaaa! Ikaletwa kwenye salfeti.
Ananimbia tukifika pale unaniambia nani na nani waliofanya kitendo hiko nawatwanga risasi za korodani papo hapo. Yaani usinikawizeee. Nasema sawaaa. Hapo nawaza anawaza yeye mwenyewe hajawahi kunipiga dole hata la mwisho afu mavi mavi ndo anipige la kati, hahaaaaa!
Tumetinva pale kaishika SMG mkononj. Kama nilivohisi Mangi alikuwa kajiandaaa, kukiona cha moto cha mnyaluuu akapoaaa, akalowaaa akawa mdogooo. Wateja wote wakakimbia wakajua uvamizi wa uporaji jambazi la kike na la kiume. Mkinga anauliza ni yupi na yupi nimwage risasi sasa hivi. Nikamwambia hayupo ila huyu ndo mwenye banda.
Mangi akaweka mikono juu! Mkojo ulimpenyaaa. Walijua mi mwepesi. Namuuliza yule fala mwenzio yuko wapiiii? Mangi anatetemeka mi sijuiiiii, sijamuona tangu siku ileeee. Mangi ananza kuunguza picha. Siku gani tena wakati nimesema nimepigwa dole mchana huo. Afu mkinga ni very sharp and smart. Aka sense, something is not right, anamuangalia mangi, ananiangalia mimi. Akajua kuna picha 2, na yeye kashirikishwa moja tu.
Anamuuliza Mangi kwanini mnapiga madole wake za watu? Nani aliemuweka dole huyu naulizaaa? Kwa jazaba zote. Mangi akikiona cha moto na jazba zile ikabidi aseme sio mimiiiii, Yesu na Maria sio mimi. Haki ya mama sio mimi, ni Siza. Mnyalu akauliza hiyo Siza ndo mavi gani na anapatikana wapi? Mangi akadakia Kinondoniiii, nitawapelekaaa. Kinondoni baba angu. Mnyalu akauliza kwanini ampige Leila dole au wanwake wote wanaokula chipsi pale mnawapiga madole why Leila?
Nikaona Mnyalu aataharibu sasa hivi kibao kitanigeukia. Nikamwambia sikia Mnyaluuu polisi wanakuja sasa hivi tumekaaa sanaa hapa, twendeeee, tutakuja siku ingine, twendeeee. Akawa cross road. Wahi kimbiza bundukiii. Akawa anakimbia na kitambi chake, nikamwambia Mangi mwambie Siza alipe pesa zangu, ill be back, ukihama nitakupata, i can do this even 10 years but the question is can you? Ill be back sooner than you expect.
Nikaenda kule kwa mnyalu, ila nikaona kabisaa machale yamemchezaa. Kuingia tu kwenye gari yangu nikapiga kwa Vicky, moyoni nasema pokeaaa pokeaaa. Haipokelewi nikapanik. Akaja kupokea baadae akaniambia im still mad at you kwa ulichomfanyia Mangi, aliniambia ndo ,aana sikupokelei simu, the only reason nimepokea mnanipigia wewe na mnyalu simulteneous, which is odd. Kuna uzima huko.
Nikamsomesha bila kumwambia nimeenda lwa mangi tena na mnyalu na silaha, ila nikamwambia mnyalu anataka helaaa, sasa ku divert issue ya hela nimesingizia nimeenda kwa Mangi nimepigwa dole, just to diversify money talks. Anachotaka ni kunikamata kwamba nimemdanganya. Mnyalu is smart but not smarter than us. The plot iko hivi na hivi. Usiyumbe kwenye mda, na nilikupigia saa 9 kulalamikia hilo swala. Vicky akasema okay. Ngoja nimpigie.
Naona baada ya Vicky kumpanga akapangika na kujiridhisha ndo kuja kuniambia huyo aliekupiga dole nitampata kwa gharama yoyote. Niachie mimi hilo swalaa. Zile pesa unazo? Roho ikafanyaaaa paaaaaaah! Nikazima data asinione online. Sio kwamba hela sina, ila zipo kwenye mzunguko. Siwezi kuharibu mzunguko hivi hivi. Chupi ikanibanaa.
Ikaingia sms. Nikasema mnyalu anataka pesa zake, siisomi. Nikaendelea kujilaza. Ikaingia tenaaa. Sms. Sikuisoma. Mara mlango ukagongwaaa. Nikasema isje kuwa mnyalu kafata pesa zake usiku huu huu. Ngoja nisome hii sms. Kusoma naona imethibitishwa umokea million 1 kutoka kwa Ceasar. Nikaiamishia kwanza namba ya Tigo. Nikakuta ya 2 umepokea 570,000 toka kwa Ceasar. Nikaiamisha pia, sipigwi mara 2. That is what i am talking about.
Nikaenda kufungu kuchungulia namuona Sizaaa! Khaaaaaa! Nikavuta kwanza panga, nikamwambia sifunguiii unata nini? Anakomaa i just want to talk! Nikamuuliza you have my money on you? Akanionesha. Nikasema good, pitisha chini ya mlango poteaaa. Unataka nifungue mje mnibake hapo wenzio wamejifichaa, potea kabla sijamwambia mnyalu aje. Safari hii atakuja na bomb raider sio SMG. Anasisitiza niko peke yangu. Akapitisha pesa.
Nikaenda kuziweka kwenye nilon nikaweka kwenye sink la kuflashiaa, ndani muleee, ata wakinibakaa pesa wasichukue. Nikamwambia haya poteaaa mi nalala.
Basi anajisemesha funguaaa, i feel so bad, kwa mlichomfanyia mangi. Kachanganyikiwa, anashikika biblia, hata akiingia kukojoa haiachi nje, anaingia nayo. Mmeharibu maisha ya mkaka wa watu. Mmmmh! Roho iliniuma sana ndugu msomaji, i just wanted to shake him a little bit.
Nikamkazia wewe ndo umeharibu, ulijua unaweza kuniibia mimi, sitokupata? Its sad but unfortunately its your fault, you took what is mine and that always has consequences. Akaanza kulia. I know i knwo. I thought it was a game, i could get free pussy. Sikujua nimechukua $$$$ i wouldnt dare, nilijua ni 370,000 ulizoniporaaa.
When you hit mangi first time, nikajua that is all you got, nikamfidia mtaji wake, then second time, Mangi akasema umesema nimechukua $$$ nikajua unachaji riba, nikasema nicheki ile combat ndo nakuta $$$$, nimetetemeka. Nikajua you wont spot, till you get your money back.
In short sikumwamini maneno yote ni kusalimu amri tu hana lolote. Mtu akisha kudanganya mwanzo, mbeleni haaminiki kabisaaa, nikajua there must be a catch somewhere kwenye huu ujio wake, kama sio kunibakaaa basi kunila Tigo.
I like risky situations, i love misrey, nikafungua mlango, kama wanaweza kunibaka basi na wanibake waone watatembea wapi hapa mjini. Akaingia, peke yake, roho inaniambia Leila unachezaaa na motooo. Nikafunga mlango. Basi nawaza huyu anaweza kuwa serial Killer kaja ku committ murder. Basi napata blood rush. Kakutana na kubwa la maadui.
Nikampa bia, tunaongea tuuu, na mimi nakunywa bia yangu. Namcheki, niko alert any move atayoifanya ya kujaribu kuniua niigundue. Wala sanaa sana naona karojekaaa tu. Basi tu, hizo fantasy za handsome murder, zikani turn tu on. Nikaanza kumkalia kihasara hasara nasingizia pombe.
Akashindwa kuvumilia, akanifataaa, na mimi sikumkawizaaa, nikampa ushirikianooo. Afu na hivi mwenyewe nilikuwa on, na fantasy zangu tayariiii, kiliwakaaaa. Mambo moto moto. Si unajua make up sex inavonogaaaa. Sebleni pale pale, akanibeba juu juu mpaka chumbani, basi nawaza huu mda anatoa kisu na kunipotezaaa kabisaa. Woga ukichanganyika na nyegeee ni kama cocaine ichanganywe na risasi. Alostooo yake si ya dunia hiii. Kama unaota kama kweli. Tuko kati kati ya mambo, yamenogaaaa, jasho linatutokaaa, nasikia mlangooo kwa mbaliiiii. Unagongwaaaa. Sauti ya mnyalu Leilaaaaaaa!
Nikafa ganziiii. Murder nilioiona ndo imefika na muuaji sio Siza ni mnyaluuu. Siletagi ,wanaume pale, nyumba kanipangia mnyaluuu ile. Yuuuuuuuuuuuu! Siza yuko naniii naniii? Nikamjibu Israel mtoa roho zetu ndo kawasili. Nikamwambia njoo jikoni uingie kwenye jaba nikufunikie. Akagomaaa. Bora atufume tuuuu. Heeeeeee!
Nikamwambia Mangi anaingia na bibble chooni, sasa wewe sijui kitakupata nini, mimi hanifanyi kitu najiamini. Ila wewe sina ubakika, acha ujinga kufa sababu ya uchi sio ushujaaa, twende ukaingie kwenye jaba, nyata miguuu. Akaingia jikoni nikamfunika na jaba. Tulia kama umekufaaa.
Nikafungua, akawasha taa zote. Anauliza kwanini umezima data ghafla? Unatombwa humu ndani lazima, akaingia chumbani, kitanda kimevurugika, ac inawaka , wewe una sweat, akazama uvunguni hola, kabatini holaaa, chooni hola. Vyumba vingine holaa, sebleni holaa, jikoni holaaaa. Kama Mungu tu nguo na viatu vyake nilitumbukiza kwenye washing machine.
Akajua hisia tu. Akauliza mbona una sweat? Nikamjibu nilikuwa naota ndoto mbaya. Ni eota wamenijia wanataka kuniua. Akasema hizo ndoto tu. Pesa iko wapi? Nikampa cash. Akasema naondoka, acha wogaaaa. Yule kijana sijui Siza nimemuweka WANTED hachomokiii. Aya njoo ufungeeee.
Nikafunga nageuka Siza huyu hapa kashatoka kwenye jaba, jamaniiii! Kanidaka juu juu. Vya kuiba vitamu sanaa, na haramu inanogaaa. Basi na kukoswa koswa na fumaniziii , ndo mchezo ulizidi kunogaaaa. Mimi dude limepanda, na siza dude limeamshwa sio kwa kukaa kwenye jaba, anafanya mapenzi ya kukomoa ya kisasi. Aaaaaaaaaah! Alinisugua kisawasawaaa. Haaaaaaaaaa! Yaaani, nilijisahau kama kungwi kwa mda. Haaaaaaaaa. Nilipigwa vitu roho ikaridhikaaaaaa kabisaaa. Siza ndo kama kavurugwa macho mekunduujj, haskii kituuuu, hakojoi ananikomoa tuuuuu. Sijawahi kufanywa kama siku ile, sijawahiiii, na kugawa gawa kwangu kote. Mmmmmmh ndo maana watu wanahonga, nini Free p.
ITAENDELEA KESHO.
oh kumbe nawaza kwa maandishi! Sorry.
Weekend Story: The Art of Staying Married! (The grass is always greener on the other side)