Vituko mitandaoni. Tupia chako

[Shimba ya Buyenze]

 

[Shimba ya Buyenze]

Ati nini?

Too much milk?

 

[Shimba ya Buyenze]

 

[Shimba ya Buyenze]

 

[Shimba ya Buyenze]

 

[Shimba ya Buyenze]

Siku hiyo sipati picha wallahi

 

[Mtumishi wa Bwana89]

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Huu ni ujinga uliopitiliza

 

[Taavid]

Kwa hiyo lecturer alikuwa anakula utamu...demu sasa dgree hakuna

sio degree tu, umeme utakuwa unamuhusu nae

 

[Smart911]

Hahahaaaa unanisema live kabisa

Sent from my CPH2015 using JamiiForums mobile app

Nguo na viatu vyote umehamishia kwenye buti la gari...

 

[LuisMkinga]

Kimeumana!
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Mwamba kashinda vita

 

[Smart911]

Ati nini?

Too much milk?
View attachment 2348311

Alafu watu bado wanabishana ati binadamu wa kwanza ni jamii Gani...

Mazungu ni zao la waAfrica...

 

[LuisMkinga]

So what?
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#KuchapiwaHakuepukiki

Atakuwa ni muuza pedi ( duka la massawe) na zamani kuna wengine wakienda kununua topaz utasikia muuza duka anasema usafi mwema

 

[antimatter]

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🤣🤣🤣

 

[antimatter]

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🤣🤣🤣

 

[Mshana Jr]

 

[Mshana Jr]

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Hahahaha.. What a beautiful excuse

 

[antimatter]

🤣🤣
..ng'ombe mlimbwende!

 

[antimatter]

Mke na mume​

Siku ya kwanza
MUME: Halooo vipi mke wangu salama weye?.
MKE: Salama tu
MUME: Uko wapi?
MKE: Jamani si niko nyumbani?!
MUME: Mhh kama kweli uko nyumbani washa blender nisikie…..mke akawasha blender
MKE: Umesikia?
MUME: Okay haya mi natoka kazini naja

Siku ya pili
MUME: Vipi mko salama huko?
MKE: Tupo kama ulivyotuacha
MUME: kwani uko wapi?
MKE: Niko nyumbani napika
MUME: Washa blender kama kweli uko nyumbani
Mke akawasha blender
MKE: Umesikia?
MUME: Poa ntarudi baada ya masaa mawili

Siku sita baadae mume akaamua kurudi saa 11 jioni bila kumtaarifu mkewe.. Alipofika home kamkuta mdada wa kazi yuko peke yake.
MUME: We mama yako yuko wapi?
MDADA: Sijui, aliondoka na blender toka asubuhi😁

 

[antimatter]

Jamaa na demu wake..​

Jamaa: Mambo honey, upo ok?
Mrembo: Sipo ok my dear
Jamaa: Una tatizo gani baby?
Mrembo: Nimetoka hospitali kupima, nna mimba.
Jamaa: Weeeeeh... Usiniletee balaa, hiyo mimba imeingiaje wakati huwa tunatumia kinga muda wote?!
Mrembo Kwani nani kakwambia mimba ni yako? Hebu tuliza huo mshono!

 

[antimatter]

Muongo kaumbuka​

Mdada alienda super-market kununua
kuku, bahati mbaya kwenye frij
kulikuwa na kuku mmoja tu, muuzaji
akamtoa akamuweka kwenye
mzani, akaonekana ana kilo moja na robo.

Mdada akamuuliza
muuzaji,’Huna mkubwa zaidi?’ Muuzaji
akamchukua yule kuku na
kujifanya kamrudisha kwenye friji, halafu
akamtoa tena kwenye friji na
kumrudisha kwenye mzani, safari hii
akagandamiza mzani kwa gumba,
kuku akaonekana ana kilo mbili. Mdada
akasema ‘Duh afadhali huyu
mkubwa kidogo, naomba unifungie
nawachukua wote wawili’

Mamaaaaa muuzaji sijui atatoa wap kuku wa pili..
Hapo ndipo utagundua kwa nini MUWA siyo TUNDA🤔