Vituko mitandaoni. Tupia chako

[Taavid]

 

[Taavid]

 

[Mshana Jr]

2 billion yrs..!
Enzi hizo hakukuwa na watu kama wa sasa, Homo Sapiens

That's too much exaggerated

 

[antimatter]

That's too much exaggerated

Human evolution | History, Stages, Timeline, Tree, Chart, & Facts | Britannica

Human evolution, the process by which human beings developed on Earth from now-extinct primates. The only extant members of the human tribe, Hominini, belong to the species Homo sapiens. The exact nature of the evolutionary relationships between modern humans and their ancestors remains the...

www.britannica.com

When did the first humans arise on planet Earth?

Planet Earth has been around for over 4.5 billion years, but humans? For 99.998% of our history, humans were nowhere to be found.

bigthink.com

 

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Mzee ndani ya daladala​

Mzee: Dereva ongeza sauti tumsikilize Mwalimu Nyerere!
Dereva: Aaah wapi, wacha usumbufu bhana...! Ungemsikiliza mwalimu wako darasani miaka iyo, saivi ungekua ndani ya gari lako🙄

 

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Msichana na mvulana kwenye simu..​

Boy: hellow sweetie, mambo vipi?
Girl: poa
Boy: utakuwa free weekend? nilikuwa nataka uje nyumbani
Girl: oh sorry sitoweza kuja sababu kuna harusi ya aunt yangu
Boy: kama ni hivyo sawa nilikuwa nataka nikufanyie sapraiz nimekununulia iPhone 13 pro..
Girl: Ooh no, eeeh.. usjali baby, ntakuja chap na hata ntalala huko huko..
Boy: na harusi je?
Girl: nilikuwa nakutania tu beiby wangu.
Boy: hata mi nilikuwa nakutania😊

 

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Bubu na mkalimani​

Kwanza bubu aliulizwa jina lake
Bubu: alijibu kwa ishara kwa kujishika koo na suruali yake kwa mbele..
Mkalimani: anaitwa KOMBO

Pili, aliulizwa anakaa wapi
Bubu: alijishika suruali kwa nyuma
Mkalimani: anakaa Kunduchi

Tatu, aliulizwa kwao wanaongea lugha gani.
Bubu: alikamata kisu na akamshika dada aliyekuwa karibu, mbele yake Kwa chini..
Dada akahamaki akataka kupigana na bubu..
Mkalimani: hapana dada.. ana maana huko kwao
wanaongea Kisukuma 😊

 

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Mbongo kwa sifa..​

Mbongo, Mganda, na Mkenya walikamatwa na makosa Uchina.
Wakaambiwa adhabu ni ama kifo cha moja kwa moja au adhabu nyingine ambayo atakayeifaulu atakuwa huru, atakayeshindwa atauawa.
Basi, wao wakaomba wapewe hiyo adhabu nyingine wajaribu bahati yao.
Wakapelekwa msituni wakaambiwa kila mmoja aende kwa njia yake halafu arudi na matunda kumi ya kufanana.
Wakaingia msituni kila mtu njia yake.

Mganda akarudi wa kwanza na machungwa kumi. Akaambiwa adhabu yake ni kumeza moja moja likiwa zima bila kufumba macho bila kulia wala kucheka wala kujitikisa mpaka yote kumi yaishe. Akameza la kwanza. Safi. Kumeza la pili, akashindwa kuvumilia akafumba macho. Akapigiwa risasi akafa.

Mkenya akaja, ana vitunda vidogo vidogo kama pilipili, vilaini. Akasomewa masharti. Akaanza kumeza bila kufumba macho wala kulia, wala nini… alipofika cha tisa akashindwa kuvumilia akaangua kicheko! Akapigwa risasi pia akafa.

Wakiwa kuzimu wakaongea hivi:
Mganda: Vipi, mbona ulishindwa kuvumilia wakati kilibaki kitunda kimoja tu, tena kidogo dogo?
Mkenya: Mkuu, nilishindwa kujizuia kicheko maana nilimuona Mbongo anakuja zake kwa mbwembwe na matikiti maji..😊

 

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Wadada wa mjini noma..​

Jamaa yupo ndani ya Range Rover yake mpya na msichana ambaye ni mpenzi wake....
Jamaa: kuna siri flani nimeitunza moyoni mwangu kwa muda mrefu na nikaona kama nitakuambia lazima utaniacha.
Msichana: siri gani hiyo mpenzi wangu?
Jamaa: nimeoa, nina mke!
Msichanaa: Hɛɛɛɛɛɛɛɛ! We umenishtua sanaaa, mm nilifikiri utasema hili gari sio lako!!!

 

[CHIEF PRIEST]

DUNIA IMEISHA HAWA WOTE NI WANAUME View attachment 2317038

Mamaeh zao

 

[Living Pablo]

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[Living Pablo]

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Noma hiyo

 

[Taavid]

 

[Taavid]

 

[amadala]

 

[Taavid]

 

[Taavid]

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[Taavid]

 

[McRiyckeel]

 

[Khantwe]

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Aah wapi hata laki hazifiki