Vituko mitandaoni. Tupia chako

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KWA MTAZAMO WANGU WATU WA TUNDUMA WANAJUA KUPIGA WEZI!View attachment 2298143

😂😅

 

[Southern Highland]

Mwezi???

Sema mwaka 1+View attachment 2297698

Wewe mbona mbinafsi hivyo

 

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😅😂
Kuna Ile kufuli yenye tobo😊

 

[Sipendi Uchawa]

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Feel at home

 

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Mume anayemchunga mkewe !

Siku ya kwanza
MUME: Halooo vipi mke wangu salama weye?.
MKE: Salama tu
MUME: Uko wapi?
MKE: Jamani si niko nyumbani
MUME: Mhh kama kweli uko nyumbani washa blender nisikie…..mke akawasha blender
MKE: Umesikia?
MUME: Okay haya mi natoka kazini naja
Siku ya pili
MUME: Vipi mko salama huko?
MKE: Tupo kama ulivyotuacha
MUME: kwani uko wapi?
MKE: Niko nyumbani napika
MUME: Washa blender kama kweli uko nyumbani
Mke akawasha blender
MKE: Umesikia?
MUME: Poa ntarudi baada ya masaa mawili
Siku sita baadae mume akaamua kurudi bila kumtaarifu mkewe alipofika home kamkuta mdada wa kazi yuko peke yake.
MUME: We, mama yako yuko wapi?
MDADA: Sijui, ameondoka na blender toka asubuhi😊

 

[antimatter]

UCHAWI ni nini?

Uchawi ni pale mpenzi ambaye ni mchumba wako anapokupeleka kwao kufika tyu ghafla unakutana na dada yake getini ambaye alikuwa ni mpenzi wako wa zamani..
Ile kuingia ndani unamuona kaka yake ambaye mlipigana baada ya kukufumania na mke wake!
Hujakaa vizuri unamuona mama yake ambaye ndiye jimama shangingi lako anayekuweka mjini akupaye jeuri ya kutamba ambapo hata gari unalolitumia alikupa yeye na hataki upajue anapoishi..
Wakati unataka kuondoka unakutana uso kwa uso na baba yake ambaye alikuwaga wakili wako kwenye kesi yako ya kukamatwa ugoni🙄

 

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Kilaza anayejiamini:

Teacher: Who is a pharmacist?

Shemdoe raised up his hand.

Teacher: So it’s only Shemdoe that can tell who a pharmacist is in this class? So there is nobody else to answer the question except Shemdoe? (There was no reply from the students)

Teacher: Ok now Shemdoe, chukua hii fimbo, charaza vilaza hawa wote kila mmoja viboko tano…. Shemdoe akiwa amevimba kichwa, akawatwanga viboko tano tano vya kushiba darasa nzima..

Teacher: Now, my dear Shemdoe tell this dumb students who a pharmacist is…

Shemdoe: Yes, sir. A Pharmacist is a farmer who assists people.

Shemdoe saiv amelazwa MOI kwa wataalam wa mifupa !!!

 

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Gari na mke ni nini muhimu?!​

GARI YA MILIONI 200
UNALAZA NJE…
mke wa laki sita
unalala nae ndani….
BANGI SI NZURI JAMANi😊

 

[antimatter]

Mapenzi Stress tupu​

Unapokea Sms toka kwa mpenzi wako anakuambia
“Kuanzia Leo Mimi Na wewe Baaasi!! Maana jana ni mara ya nne tuki****, unaahidi utanrushia baadaye, kimyaaa!!!"
Unashtuka🙄🤔…. Una muuliza kulikoni? ????
Anakujibu: “Sorry sweetie, Sio Sms yako my darling!”
Hapo Ndo utajua Kwanini Hakuna Mmasai Albinoo!!!!

 

[myoyambendi]

Kanye West again..

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Duh!! haishi vituko

 

[myoyambendi]

Hela:​

Dogo: Bro naomba nitumie hela.
Bro: Tumia tu mpaka uchoke.
Dogo: Hujanielewa,nitumie hela.
Bro: We ndo hunielewi, nimesema tumia tu…!!!

😂 😂

 

[Taavid]

 

[Taavid]

 

[Galip Veryl]

Kwisha habari 😂

 

[Galip Veryl]

😂

 

[Mshana Jr]

 

[Mshana Jr]

 

[Mshana Jr]

 

[Mshana Jr]

 

[Mshana Jr]